Bijan for Men (1981)
by Bijan

This is just wretched. Bijan for Men literally smells like a bucket of urine mixed with Lemon Pledge and paint thinner (heavy on the urine). I could see this being popular with cheesy disco guys in leisure suits at Studio 54 around 1976, but that doesn't mean it would have smelled good. Its ghastly stench screams louder than an air raid siren too. Bijan is currently in a three-way tie with Fahrenheit and Lilac Vegetal for what I consider to be the worst masculine fragrance of all time.

No, this isn't for the guys who want to smell like flower gardens, watermelons or the ocean. To my nose, it screams INCENSE, the kind that fills the church during a Christmas service. Accordingly, Bijan for Men delivers a sense of dignity and refinement depicted by men in suits, but with a sense of emotional warmth rather than aloof detachment. Moved to a more casual setting, the fragrance provides an aura of calm and quiet strength. Not everyone will have the wherewithal to pull it off. To be sure, Bijan must be used sparingly. Too much enthusiasm with the plunger could lead to mass murder by toxic gas, or at least death of the wearer at the hands of bystanders in the name of self-preservation. But because it is superb when used correctly, it holds a place of honor in Powerhouse Row, right next to my Grey Flannel and Quorum. If the young bucks believe Bijan is only for the elders, so be it. Perhaps this is a scent that has to be earned.

On a practical note, Bijan for Men might be what tobacco smokers are looking for on the Basenotes boards. Though extremely potent, Bijan doesn't overwhelm or cut through tobacco smoke as much as absorb it, coating it with a dry, faintly sweet finish that renders it almost inoffensive (though still not safe). Try it and see.

Thumbs way up for those who can believe in being both daring and restrained at the same time!

The nutmeg in the opening will bowl you over. (If you have nostrils, that is.)

Still, this one's worth waiting on, as it possesses a pretty darned good Eighties take on sandalwood, oakmoss (LOTS OF IT) and amber. I pick up only a little lemon and even less musk here.

Make no mistake, though -- no matter what you may think of our boy Bijan, it is undeniable that over-applying may result in the loss of limbs, as your colleagues and friends will tear you apart for having bathed in Bijan. In short, apply with the greatest of caution.

I'm going to give this one a neutral, though, as few out there will apply it lightly. Most will spray on too much, thus rendering their homes, cars and offices uninhabitable for hours on end.

an arabian pirate from those johnny depp movies would love this. strong and masculine sweet. a bit dated and i can't see anybody under 35 wearing this.3 of the middle notes are commonly used as base notes. that ain't right!!!!!

"OPEN SESAME!" commanded the leader of the forty thieves and Ali Baba complied, giving up his treasures over and over again. The next morning, in the dim light of the cave, Ali Baba slept like a babe in the redolent musk of his forty masters, now turned slaves of a kind. His nostrils filled with the Arabian Night before and the funky morning after.

This scent, to me, is a vile abomination; very shameless, very unrefined, very dumb. Now, with due respect to those posters who give this a good mark, I can see the aesthetic and artisan merit of Bijan. In another time and another place, I bet this was king. However, all pleasantries associated with this scent are trampled and sodomized by its aggressive nature.

1) Yes, my taste has most likely been (inadvertently) bent by the decade's long wave of modern fresh scents.

2) But, No, this consideration does not make me any more forgiving of this crime against humanity that is Bijan for men.