You join us at the end of a board room presentation at Bizaco headquarters...
'... so, everything that could be read as provocative, or relating to the human body, in any way, has been ruthlessly cut from the formula. What remains has been multiple focus grouped and proved 100% safe, sanitised and acceptable to anyone. This is the ultimate, new fresh puritan fragrance!'
'OK, I have a question. You said that hedione is an extract of jasmin flower. Flowers are the sex organs of plants, aren't they.'
'Well, plants reproduce by their flowers, but they don't...'
'Right, flowers are out!
Musk, isn't that how beavers show when they're in heat?'
'Oh, no - these are synthetic musks, produced in sterile factories by scientists in white coats...'
'The grapefruit and denatured citrus is OK, and its... bland and safe like you say, but...' the chairman takes a sniff from his smelling strip, 'that sweet woody sort of powdery smell, what is it?'
'Oh, our perfumer based that on baby powder, it's very popular.'
'Baby powder' he ponders, connecting nose to brain 'hmm... baby puke... doesn't it smell like baby vomit to you?'
'No not at all!' the marketing man blurts out. He smiles weakly. 'And there's also sweet Tonka bean, it's fermented and then the coumarin is extracted - but there's no alcohol!´
'It smells like that Calvin Klein number that came out three years ago' rumbles the boss.
A heavy silence...
'Oh... But we have the smell of pure metal, brushed steel... stainless steel...´
'Ah. I thought you said chrome, but that's ok, whatever...´
'...and finally a range of pure synthetic odourants are used to give er, body to the rest of the scent. This will be the cleanest, blandest, purest mens eau de toilette on the market today, nobody could be offended by it and,' unleashing the deal clincher 'its dirt cheap to make.'
'Yeah' replies the big man thoughtfully, 'eau de toilet... maybe we could change that to eau de cologne...'
Later in the car.
'You know, when I was a kid, you could get sugary hot water from the drinks machine at school. This crap reminds me of that somehow...'
26th August, 2015 (last edited: 15th September, 2015)
One of my most favorite morning/summer scents. Very soapy and clean smelling on me, and invigorating too. It lasts forever for me WHEN: I shower and use a non fragrant lotion, and then apply 4-6 liberal sprays in the key areas. This is not synthetic to me at all, and whenever I wear it, the compliments flow.
Boring synthetic and linear like the majority of the present aquatic fragrances. Of course a non offensive scent which do not bother people, but without soul!
A good, cheap workhorse of a fragrance.
Go easy on the trigger, and others won't know you're wearing a ubiquitous bargain-bin scent.
CONS- tends to be harshly synthetic and bleachy if over-applied.
PROS- smells fresh and clean, and is suitable for all seasons, day and night, and is safe for work.
AND- it gets lots of compliments.
I absolutely LOVED this scent.why?Because CHROME is everything i want from Citrus Aromatic and one of the most fresh fragrances in my collection.
At first spray is so fresh,strong and cold.i found lemon and pineapple always makes it a nice combination the girls love it.in my mind this fragrance house seems a quite little treasure trove of olfactory!
CHROME is great for daytimes/spring and for wearning with casual.much better than the CHROME LEGEND and longevity is +6 hours on my skin.it is great to buy if you want CITRUS,CLEAN and FRESH fragrance as the price is convenient too.