Gendarme (1991)
by Gendarme

Review for the "cologne spray": Clean, slightly soapy scent. If Nivea's unscented aftershave had any smell, I bet they would use this. For a clean scent, I'd rather have Mulger Cologne.

Review for the EdP: Definitely much better! Not just because it's stronger but the formula seems to feel much better on the skin. Instead of a fresh out of the shower scent, you get an invigorating CLEAN AS HELL smell. Fresh lemons, soap accords and... leather? OK not really. But the EdP makes me like an alternative to most other aquatics that throw in sweet stuff or woody stuff into their fragrances. This stuff I gladly have next to my Mugler Cologne.

A beautifully clean and musky, jasmine-based scent that somehow doesn't smell floral or feminine - in fact, it's perfectly unisex. Also crisp and slightly citrusy, Gendarme is equally soapy and airy. Not much to say that hasn't already been said here, but I absolutely must state that this lasts a very long time - easily 24 hours on clothes and at least 8 hours on skin. The beauty of this is that most of the time you can't smell it, because for some reason the nose gets habituated to the smell rather fast. Thus, many will think it's gone in an hour - it only seems that way. Just wait a bit and you'll notice that it gives off gentle whiffs throughout the day. Furthermore, you can ask others to smell you, or give your day-old shirt a sniff the next day - you'll notice it's still there. And so, it never bothers or distracts from your day, while emitting a cool, calm and clean aura.

Boring? Maybe, but Gendarme is also completely inoffensive (it's actually known to be hypo allergenic even for the most allergic noses) while bring incredibly enjoyable at the same time.

9.25/10

Top note: White Rain hair spray
Middle note: Dryer sheet fabric softener
Base note: Faux suede

Gendarme opens on a delightfully refreshing and unconventional (by modern masculine fragrance standards,) assortment of grassy green and light floral notes. Over the first few minutes of wear the sunlit, blooming meadow accord gains depth and support from some bolder herbaceous greens, very light spices, and soft woods. The resulting structure is so delicate, buoyant, and charming that it’s almost impossible to resist smiling at it. Gendarme starts as a “fresh” masculine among throngs of “fresh” masculines, but it establishes its crisp, clean profile without any calone, stereotypical aquatic notes, or tired fruity fougère gestures. A magnificent entry!

Then, after thirty minutes – nothing. Poof. Gone. Gendarme deflates so fast you can practically hear the whoopee cushion noise as all the gas escapes. In mere moments the scent plunges from its promising introduction to a barely detectable, slender, gray, woody drydown of little distinction and no presence. Did the nose responsible fall ill or die before completing the composition, or did the cash just run out?

Were Gendarme merely another banal masculine aquatic, I’d probably just forget about it, but by starting out so well and then imploding, the scent actually irritates me. I resent being teased in this manner, and I’m frustrated by the thought of what might have been. Unfinished compositions by Bruckner and Mahler are tantalizing, but this torso of a scent is just dispiriting, like interrupted sex.

I recently used a restroom at Nordstrom that had quite obviously been deodorized with Gendarme...and that's the end of my anecdote. No further exposition is required.

Gendarme is successful only in that it manages to duplicate the fragrance of The Cheapest Hand Soap Known to Man. No, I'm not talking about Dial hand soap or even generic hand soap from such purveyors as Rite Aid, CVS, et al - I'm talking about hand soap you buy at places with the word "Dollar" in the title.

If you want a fragrance that is similarly soapy yet refined, I would recommend you try Domenico Caraceni's Ivy League.

Smooth, suave, clean, fresh. Gendarme holds tightly on my skin for better than 8 hours, all the while gently enveloping me in a soft masculine aura. Not an in-your-face fragrance by any means but one that will catch the attention of those close to you as it plays hide-and-seek with your own sense of smell. A winner.