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Stranded in the jungle, surrounded on all sides by hostile tribes, his ammunition and his beloved Denim Original all used up, the intrepid English explorer Captain Bunty Fortescue-Smythe had little option but to accept the offer made to him by his chum, Captain Horatio 'Boy' Carruthers, to splash on some Noir eau de toilette.
"One of the best budget scents," 'Boy' Carruthers assured him. "Perhaps not as fresh, clean, decent and manly as Denim Original. In fact, more of a sultry evening scent, golden and glamorous, the sort that a chap might wear when he's asking a chorus girl to dine. It's made in Great Britain, of course. Like Denim Original, it's fairly fleeting and inexpensive, you need to slap quite a bit of it on to make an impression, but, again like Denim Original, it's dashed well blended. Puts me strongly in mind of Ho Hang by Balenciaga, even, to a lesser extent, of Pierre Cardin Pour Monsieur, maybe even a hint of Chanel Pour Monsieur. It has, somehow, that vague promise of sophisticated scent that a chap so appreciates when he's just left school and is first learning about cologne and women and so forth."
"Very well," replied Bunty in clipped tones, "since we're out of ammo and Denim Original, what have we to lose? Let's dress for dinner, slap on some Noir eau de toilette, sing some old school songs and raise our glasses to Queen Victoria! We'll show these foreign johnnies that an Englishman can go down bravely and smelling good!"
Whether it was due to the Noir eau de toilette, or to the school songs, or to the mention of the mighty Empress-Queen Victoria, when dawn broke the enemy had disappeared and the two pals made their weary way back to civilization.
13th October, 2011