Féerie (2008)
by Van Cleef & Arpels

Who among us can forget Violet Beauregarde, the chubby American girl in the twentieth-century film Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory? Whenever Violet was not in the process of eating something, she satisfied her oral fixation by chomping loudly on gum, not at all unlike a cow with its cud. She acquired a winning ticket in the Willy Wonka contest and so was admitted to the chocolate factory, along with Charlie, the nemesis of all of the other contestants. Violet was accompanied to the factory by her loud, aggressive father, Sam Beauregarde, who was apparently either a politician or (vel) a used car salesman. Charlie, in this nouveau-Dickensian little tale, just happened to be situated at the extreme tip of the other side of the poverty line, far away from all of the other winners, and it was nothing short of miraculous that he happened by chance upon one of the winning tickets.

In the end, karma dictated that all of the naughty and/or vicious little children should be punished, including Violet, whose tragic Fall was occasioned by her brazen disobedience of a direct order not to chew a piece of experimental gum. Violet blew up like a gigantic blueberry not only for her aesthetic crime of chomping constantly on gum but also for her cut-throat competitiveness, which really did her in, in precisely the manner in which one might expect karma to work: like a knife (or a bolt, see below...) in the back. She came dangerously close to exploding before being rolled down the hall to the juicing room by the oompa loompas for triage. Although Violet was spared the death penalty, she was summarily stripped of the right to romp about the grounds of the chocolate factory as a direct result of this self-induced medical emergency.

***

Perhaps you, dear reader, did not remember Violet Beauregarde, but I am fairly confident that the makers of Van Cleef & Arpels FEERIE did, for it is clear that she provided the deep inspiration for this creation. From the über-cloying black currant syrup sprinkled with violet leaves to the trucker tire-flap icon reproduced in miniature statuette form and applied to the ice-pick-like cap, FEERIE embodies the essence of Violet Beauregarde aesthetic.

I can state without hyperbole that this is the sweetest ostensibly serious perfume I've ever sniffed. Although I've been known to bitch and moan about dilution, this composition has basically the opposite problem, being so thick and glucose-rich that it could easily be mistaken for one of those fruit syrups that come in bulbous bottles with sliding pour mechanisms—the ones arrayed in a lazy susan of sorts in booth tables at fine eateries such as the International House of Pancakes, no doubt frequented by the Beauregarde family. Rather than a fruity floral, I'd say FEERIE is a true fruity-fruity perfume, because the syrupy black currant note is so dominant and so persistent and so thick and so, well, black curranty, that it is precisely like Violet Beauregarde in its extreme egotism, excluding all else as it screams out “Me! Me! Me! ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

Although FEERIE might mix well with a rose soliflore, as a stand-alone perfume, it pretty much deserves the karmic fate eventually suffered by Violet Beauregarde, fittingly enough. Even the bottle is bright blueberry blue, and although the edges are faceted, from a distance, it evokes in this viewer's mind memories of one and one thing alone: Violet Beauregarde as her girth continues to expand to its ultimate bursting point while her face turns progressively more blue.

Now for the intricate embellishments, the carefully thought-out "finishing touches" upon the vessel in which this fruit syrup is housed. Once again, as with ORIENS, Van Cleef & Arpels has come up with a beautiful bottle totally degraded by its over-the-top cap! I'm beginning to suspect, actually, that those working in the art department of this house have a secret wager going: who can get away with the kitschiest cap on a perfume successfully launched before being served their walking papers? To my amazement, FEERIE actually manages to defeat (and that is no mean feat, by any means!) ORIENS, indisputably winning the top honors in the “most ridiculous cap ever” category! How in the world did the artist get away with this? Every American inhabiting the broad underbelly of this land—including the Beauregarde family—knows the naked lady on the tire flaps of semi-trucks: this image is virtually ubiquitous to anyone who drives cross country on freeways. There she sits amidst only her curves, beckoning YOU, her leg suggestively bent, a bust thrust directed your way.

If you don't know what I'm talking about, you must be a city dweller—or else a for'ner. The next time that you embark on a road trip in this not-so-fair land, I exhort you to take a few moments, pull into a truck stop, and examine the tire flaps on the semis parked there. Yes, *that very image*, the Platonic Form of the “Curvy Naked Lady Looking to Sleep with You” has been fashioned into a tiny silver three-dimensional facsimile which has been nailed (literally—there's a visible bolt in her back!)—as to a crucifix—to the ice pick atop the FEERIE bottle! (The ice pick itself is perfect, by the way, for pricking swollen blueberries...) Amazing! Truly an accomplishment of sorts. I stand humbled before the person who pulled this job off. Bravo!

8th September, 2011. (Last Edited: 9th September, 2011.)

l admit l was seduced into trying this by both the name & the beautiful bottle, but at the price l was almost relieved not to like it! This smells overwhelmingly of blackcurrants & little else to me; how l wish that violet was the dominant note instead. Somehow l thought that an expensive fragrance named after a fairy would have a delicate, shimmering, limpid floral quality, not smell like a cheap & generic fruity-floral. Disappointing.

5th July, 2011.

This scent goes on with a powerful blast that is at once spicy, floral and citrusy. Overwhelming, yes, but still bearable; the youthfulness of the smell saves it from being nauseating. After about an hour the bottom notes have shown up and what you're left with is a warm floral that is still young and only slightly sweet. A good choice for any occasion.

10th June, 2011.

I tried this in conjunction with my 11 year old.
At first spray I got fruity floral, probably more floral then fruity and thought... nice. Then it caused the most acute session of compulsive sniffing I'd ever experienced. I kept lifting my wrist to my nose and sniffing and trying to place just what it was I was smelling. And I kept thinking "this stuff smells sticky". It wasn't, but my mind kept saying it should be.

After maybe 3/4 of an hour I finally got it... this is part of the smell of where I grew up. Specifically the cane fields of far north queensland during the crushing season... sugar cane flowers and bulk molasses.
Miss 11, when I checked with her said the same.... molasses.

10 hours later I was still smelling molasses.

I'll give it a 3/5. It's not a bad smell, just that I found the sticky sensation it gave me to be ... exactly the same as when I've spilt molasses on me. Without the enjoyment of licking it off.

8th July, 2010.

Fun and innocent. Got it at a fair price.. not sure I would pay full price

24th June, 2010.

Féerie is a pleasant floral / wood fragrance. It is fruity-light with a soft musky feel to it. On my skin the opening fruit (black current and mandarin) notes predominate, which I am grateful for because I don’t smell much of the opening’s violet note. The opening is too simplistic… maybe too generic… for me to take it very seriously. The middle’s rose and jasmine is a well-done accord that I prefer to the opening… but again, it’s a rather generic, although well-constructed accord, and it does not give off any kind of synthetic vibration to my nose. The base is an iris / vetiver combination that is clean and pleasant with a barely discernable iris and a more prominent vetiver uniting with the floral middle to give a very nice continuation of the pleasantness of the top two layers.

Féerie has a couple of good things going for it… it’s clean and pleasant… but its mediocrity condemns it to be just another also-ran in the field of uninspired contemporary designer offerings.

19th January, 2010.