Simply Soap (2009)
by Clean

Hideous. Neither clean nor simple nor soap. This evokes a synthetic reproduction of the otter tank at a public aquarium. A bracing glass-cleaner accord floats over a lush, organic note of standing water, spoiled fish, and fetid musk. If Comme des Garcons had released this as "Parfums PARFUMS Series 10: Moldy Fish Tank" I would still hate it, because it is vile.

Longevity and projection are excellent. The fragrance even resisted scrubbing with actual soap. These molecules have the physical strength and truculent presence of a b-movie thug.

I have never smelled another fragrance as bad as this one. I would prefer almost anything to this - I would gladly smell the most insipid white flowers and calone instead of this foul reek.

18th March, 2011.

This one was an impulse purchase, not blind per se as there was a tester, but I purchased within 20 minutes of first sniff. As is my usual protocol, I did a little review checking before plunking down the dough, and in and among the 4 and 5 star Sephora reviews was a one star notation that said something to the effect of "smells like soap and then like something died on you." Thinking this review just glib, misanthropic nonsense, I bought it anyway.

Well, that Sephora reviewer was right.

The fragrance starts off pleasantly enough, a sort of vague, generic green tea and citrus type scent. It doesn't smell like soap, per se, but like the bland fragrance they add to soap to keep it from smelling like "Simply Soap." Nothing unique, but I was searching for the fragrance equivalent to a "cloak of invisibility" and this seemed to fit the bill nicely. Unfortunately, about a 1/2 hour in, the scent begins to transition into a rather dank, unpleasant aquatic. It smells like the water in a dirty fishbowl. Looking at the scent notes, I am guessing this is the 'lotus blossom'. And this "lotus blossom" element is rather tenacious. 12 hours + into application I no longer smell like "Simply Soap" but rather like I just finished cleaning an aquarium. I think this is the "beachy" note to which pookerella references.

Technically this is unisex, as both men and women clean aquariums, and therefore could theoretically smell like this.

Thumbs down. No one buys a scent from a company called "Clean" to smell this way.

18th December, 2010.

I agree with everything said -- except for the unisex part. To me it definitely has the "perfume" smell associated with "feminine."

Had to scrub this stuff pretty fast.

Thumbs down as a male scent, thumbs up as a female scent.

2nd November, 2010.

Simply boring, but not bad. This smells much like Lever 2000. 5 sprays will amount to roughly 8 hrs of 'clean' smelling. Androgynous.

13rd August, 2009.

I like this. I'm not exactly sure why, but I think that this one actually DOES smell like bar soap ... unlike the others which remind me of laundry detergent, a scent which makes me very ill.

Very light / fresh. Keep it on extremity pulse points only, though, or it matures into a "beachy" scent, which is more floral and not nearly as nice.

28th July, 2009.