A perfume story. Review of Pure Malt by Therry Mulgler. A journey of hope. © 2016 Frankie Chocolate
Frankie C. sat at the bar at Brixieís nursing his Diet Coke and sniffing his left hand. On the other side of the dented mahogany surface side was Randish the bartender.
What perfume is it today Francis? Asked the Randish.
Something by Therry Mulgler.
Heís got a lot of them. Which one is it?
That oneís nice. So what do you smell?
Warm caramel. Milk, butter toffee, a malty- almost chocolate flavor. A root beer flavored lifesaver. Pleasant and uplifting even if it doesnít have a screaming sillage. Something like chocolate twizzles or the taste of dried day lily straws.
Day lily straws? I donít follow.
When I was young there were these orange day lilies, I donít know what they were calledÖ
What was that?
Hemerocallis fulva. Thatís the name of the orange day lily.
How would you know that?
Iím not just a bartender Francis. I know things.
Okay so they grew on the south side of the house. After the flower fell off the hollow stalks would turn brown and you put them in your mouth pretending they were long cigarettes and you were Edward G. Robinson squinting in the sun and telling them, ďSome guys canít take it see?Ē They tasted a little like chocolate twizzles.
You havenít really touched your coke Francis. Whatís up?
Iím depressed is whatís up.
I thought you were a Christian.
Yeah. And that means you can only be happy happy joy joy right?
I didnít say that.
You didnít have to.
Okay so whatís got you down tiger?
Workís slow and I just got a shipment of perfume.
Whatís you get this time the Pure Malt?
Now. Iím just wearing that cuz I want to review it so I need to recharge the sniftery memories. I got some Amouge Homage and a blind buy.
Yikes. A blind buy. Thought you knew better. Whyíd you buy it? How was it?
I bought it because I was caught up with what a heavy weight reviewer said about the juice. Light and transcendence and filled with the finest freshest ingredients. It unfolds its many layered petals and beneath each one is a new treasure to discover.
Thatís pretty flowery.
I think he writes romance novels. I felt like such a fool blind buying 100ml bottle of Amouge Gold women because some guy had said it was the journeyís end. The peak of perfection. I mostly smelled something indolent. The civet paste to be sure.
How would you know what Civet smells like?
A guy sold me some. He said it was his favorite scent.
He talked about the various notes and the unfolding. I created the tincture according to his directions and my kid came over and sniffed and didnít say anything but his face said my dad has been bathing in cat crap.
To be fair not really cat crap cuz it smells a lot like
Tuna. Civet smells fecal and nauseating. I never got the shimmer, diffusion and warmth. And definitely no velvety florals. But back to the Amouge Gold. They say the top notes are lily of the valley and frankincense but the first thing I smell is cat crap.
Okay baby powder and that reminds me of diapers clean or dirty.
A civet cat wearing a diaper?
Exactamundo Braniac. The reviewer said they used the finest stuff and I donít want to sound like a jerk but I just want something that smells nice and doesnít ask my nose to have a Ph.D. before it can be appreciated. I donít care about the dry down if the up dry is bad.
Okay the opening notes.
What are some things you knew you must have right out of the gate?
The first I smelled Ambre Sultan I knew it was true love and I must have this beauty. It took two or three sniffs of Ambre Precieux but thatís on my buy list. And then I couldnít stop huffing Eau Sauvage when I put some on my hand. It was head over heels intoxicating. Then I knew I was really in love.
I think youíre a gourmand hound.
I think youíre right.
Did you try Acqua di Parma Colonia?
Cary Grant wore it so ití gotta be good.
What about the dry down.
Your nose is not sophisticated.
No. Itís not. I just feel a little disappointed in my purchases is all.
Why do you buy perfume? To be one of the guys in the know on a chat room? What are you hoping for with perfume? Why do you collect it?
I used to say because it gave me joy.
What do you say now?
Iím looking for something that satisfies. Something that fulfills me? Completes me.
You complete me. Youíre looking for Jerry McGuire in a bottle. What a lot you ask of a perfume on a first date. Do you really think any perfume can do that?
Bring you peace, tranquility. Satisfaction? Mick Jagger is richer than Rockefeller and he canít get no.
So you read the reviews, you buy the decants. You sniff the sniff, you spring for the juice. You wait with baited breath hoping against hope that this stuff will be the stuff of stuff. The stuff that rings the inner bell. The stuff that deeply and truly satisfies. The stuff that for once and for all time satisfies you to the center of your being. Youíre hoping this next one is the end of the road. The fulfillment of all your hopes and dreams. Itís the winning Powerball ticket with no down sides. Itís the cold glass of lemonade on a hot summer day with the ice tinkling in the glass and a drip of condensation running down the outside of the glass. Itís the bottom of the ninth, youíre down by three, the bases are loaded, the count is three and two and this time you hit that grand slam.
Itís the first kiss. Itís the scent of her Obsession when sheís sitting in the desk in front of you in English and sheís wearing this tight green sweater and it takes all your strength not to knock the desk over, sweep her up in your arms and kiss the daylights out of you.
Itís Ilsa Lund making cow eyes at you while Sam plays it again only this time you do sweep her up and your arms and she embraces you and the whole rest of the world be dammed.
Is that what youíre hoping for?
Yeah. I think it is.
Whatís so funny?
Youíre looking for God in a bottle.
No Iím not. What do you mean?
Everything you want in a perfume is outside the bottle.
The air of the desert?
It smells best in the Moroccan desert. Where the women are actually preparing the evening meals over campfires sticks full of resinous wood as the quarter moon rises over the sand dunes and the night desert is coming alive.
The delicious smell of a ripe young girl wearing drugstore rose but smiling at you when youíre sixteen and awkward and canít believe any woman would even look at you is a fragrance beyond compare.
The cold lemonade, the Ilsa lund, the home run. Theyíre all a part of the scents that make up life and it will never smell as good coming out of a bottle.
Sweep the girl up and kiss her. Win through the opposition and save the day. Face the demons that prey on your fears and shout them down in the name of Jesus of Nazareth. Fail and go down in flames and lose then rise from the ashes and go again.
Youíre wanting to smell the magic that God calls life and it doesnít come in a bottle. It comes when you put your arms around your sweet heart, thereís a bottle of wine and you both actually take the time to see the sunset of pinks and pastel and blues and wisps of yellow that God puts there each day just to say I love you.
Frankie stared hard at the barkeep, quaffed his warm coke and Randish got him a fresh one. He sniffed the back of his hand one last time.
Thick dark rich caramel. Like a can of sweetened condensed milk with two holes poked in the top and set to boil for a long time. When you open the can itís milky white on the top and underneath is thick and warm and a butter knife makes a curve in it caramel in all its rich stick at the back of your throat goodness waiting to be spread between vanilla wafers
Thatís the base note.
Ahh. The end.
I am going to update this review on this fragrance later on, as I just bought this today in the cologne section of Belk at the mall. Now...I have owned pure havane, the original Angel Men, and now Pure Malt. The reason I am (FOR NOW) neutral is because this seems to be just a lighter version of Angel Men original. Personally, I think the original is the better version.
I've smelled the others and I think, because of the prices, only Pure Havane and the original are worth buying. DO NOT GET ME WRONG! THIS STUFF SMELLS GREAT! However, I have a preference for my winter fragrances. A strong preference. That m cologne for winter or fall has to be STRONG and long lasting. This meets those requirements but just isn't quite what i consider perfect.
i...cant say i REGRET buying this but i just kind of think you should try it. IT IS A DEFINITE BUY!! BUT only if you have the spare cash. if you're a collector, this needs to be in your cashe, but dont break the bank, lol.
Overall, I give this baby a 8 and a half out of 10. I will update my review later.
Talk about a scent that evolves as it dries! You can spray it on in the morning and then smell it once every hour for the rest of the day and it will smell different every time. It gets better and better as the patchouli and booze subside to make room for coffee and chocolate notes. A+
opens with a boozy/fruity wood that smells pretty good to me and definitely is immediately recognizable as an A Men flanker...to me it sits somewhere between Burberry London and John Varvatos/JV Vintage in the general smell it conjures to my nose...the booze doesn't smell real alcoholy, but more like the smell of just nicely aged booze...I enjoy smelling this and am finishing up a decant right now, and then I'm done...nothing against this fragrance, but not planning on getting anymore...but it was a pleasure smelling it while I had it...dries down to even closer to A Men DNA, but without any bitterness or tar effect...nice and smooth...
decant to full bottle worthy...
Sweet Boozy Wood
This is a very sexy scent. If I were single again I would frequently wear this one out on the weekends. It is smooth and creamy, also a little bit boozy and works wonders in the colder months. It could be worn year round but I would not wear it on a super hot day. Would be perfect for a date night. It comes off a little strong at first but once it dries down on the skin it calms down a bit and does not stick out too much. This is one that I apply pretty generously because it is not very strong ON ME. It might be different for someone else. I would give this one an 8/10.
GET THIS!!! I bought this as a blind purchase, and man, was it a great idea. To me, its a winter scent, its warm, cozy, and boozy. It is the smell of winter. GET IT
18th June, 2015 (last edited: 22nd June, 2015)