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On Discussing Fragrance with my Other Half...

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Last night an amazing thing happened; my bf & l actually sat & had a most enlightening conversation about fragrance! lt must be said first of all that he is a very "manly man", & up to now he seemed embarassed by or uninterested in my perfume obsession. The most l usually get out of him is "that smells like old ladies" or "that smells okay", & his eyes glaze over if l start talking about notes or anything in more detail. lt used to bother me, & l even started a thread here bemoaning my bf's lack of understanding of my hobby. But over time l learned to accept it, & although he didn't really get why it interests me so much, he accepted that it's important to me.

He did buy me a couple of perfumes he actually likes on me; Eternity for Christmas, & Allure for my birthday. Allure is the only one that's ever made him exclaim; "That's gorgeous!" So those are the ones l usually wear when l'm with him.

So, last night after a lovely evening out, we were sat on my sofa with him nuzzling my Allure-scented neck, when suddenly he confessed that he thought he'd bought me "the wrong Eternity". "What do you mean?" l asked, & he explained that he is absolutely certain that it doesn't smell right, & maybe it just doesn't smell right on me. He said that back in the '90's when he used to smell it on other women, it smelled completely different, & more like the men's version, which he wears. All these months l've been wearing it for him, & he never admitted that he wasn't enjoying it!

To test his theory, l got out my bottle of Eternity, & his bottle of Eternity for Men that he keeps at my place, & got him to do a wrist-to-wrist comparison. Wow, he actually let me spray a women's fragrance on him! Sure enough, he was convinced that the two fragrances used to smell much more similar, & it wasn't just my skin that was changing how it smelled. And do you know what, l think he's right! l remember smelling it on a work colleague all those years ago & asking what that wonderful scent was, & l swear it didn't smell like it does now. Has my clever bf spotted a reformulation? Has Eternity been messed with? l searched basenotes this morning & couldn't find a definitive answer.

Anyway, he began describing how it smells to him; he said it smells "white", (which was very interesting, as he scoffed at Jean-Claude Ellena in the recent BBC4 perfume documentary, describing scent in terms of colour. Come to think of it, my bf actually watched that series! Hmmm, he's more interested than he cares to admit, isn't he?) as opposed to the men's version which smells "blue" to him, (l think of it as a greeny-yellow) & "sort of grassy & musky".

He then waxed lyrical on the greatness of Eternity for Men, the only fragrance he's ever loved wearing, (it does smell great on him) apart from one other.......& then he dropped his bombshell... lt was......Kouros!!!
He saw my look of astonishment & wanted to know what was so shocking; this man who hates "old lady" perfumes & is a bit of a clean freak actually wore Kouros back in the day! How could l explain my surprise & joy at these newly-revealed hidden depths? l told him that Kouros is the Marmite of men's fragrances; you either love it or hate it, it is polarizing, iconic & certainly never gets a lukewarm response. l'm dying to smell it on him now!

This conversation was a major breakthrough as far as l'm concerned; a milestone in our relationship. l'll be careful not to push it & overwhelm him with too much fragrance-related stuff, but l'm happy to know that at last he feels more comfortable with discussing my hobby. And maybe, just maybe, l've now got an excuse to take him on a sniffing expedition, woohooooo!
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  1. jayjupes's Avatar
    love this. was sitting on the couch with my bf last night while he laughed at my description of perfume as a journey and an experience. he then said he didn't want to wear fragrance, as though i were suggesting that he should. i look forward to the day when he reveals "hidden depths." he was a cook for years, so the palette is there...

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