Reviews by mrblowtorch

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    mrblowtorch
    United States United States

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    Dunhill Edition by Dunhill

    Oh Dunhill Edition! I had such high hopes for you! Back in the day, when I used to smoke, many years ago, Dunhill cigarettes were my favorite. I guess that's why I tried to like you so much - for old times' sake. But I'm sorry, you're just terrible. Bitter and unfocused. The only Dunhill fragrance I can stand is Dunhill D, and nobody else liked that one, I guess. Don't go away mad, Dunhill Edition, just go away.

    04 January, 2009

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    Dolce & Gabbana Pour Homme by Dolce & Gabbana

    The only fragrance I ever wore that literally made somebody gag. Sorry about that, Whole Foods cashier! This is a true 'stealth' fragrance - starts with a lemon furniture polish note, which isn't too bad, and makes you think that the entire experience may be a good thing - then hits you with the cloying, headache-inducing base. Watch the birdie!!! (and then the knockout punch comes from the other hand). I'm halfway convinced that Dolce and Gabbana put this out as an olfactory joke, a passive-aggressive f*** you to the Bluetooth-in-the-ear corporate drones. If I was fully convinced, I'd give this a thumbs up. But I'm not.

    04 January, 2009

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    Silver Mountain Water by Creed

    Um. Hi, Silver Mountain Water, thanks for coming. I suppose you're wondering why I asked you here today? Would you like any wine, anything? No? Uh... well, I guess I'll get right down to it. I see what you're trying to do, really. I get it, and I respect it, but, um... really, you're trying too hard. I know you want to be all silvery and all mountain watery, but I'm sorry, I just find you all metallic and sort of vulgar and gross. Maybe you could try to be a little more like your cousin, Millesime Imperial? Oh... now, don't cry, I'm sorry. Really, it's not you, it's me.

    27 May, 2008

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    Quorum by Antonio Puig

    They say that male alligators make a noise that is subsonic - below the level of human hearing. Scientists have told us that the meaning of this sound is very simple; basically, "I'm here, and I'm bigger than you." If this sound had a smell, it would be the smell of Quorum. A close cousin of Azzaro pour Homme, but drier, woodier, and an opening like a straight up slap to the face. Wear this in the daytime, while you are wearing a suit, studs, and cufflinks. Absolutely essential.

    27 May, 2008

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    Herbert West by Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab

    Well, I've finally taken the plunge. I've been staring at this Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab website for the past year, and decided to pull the trigger. Being a good New Englander and a lifetime fan of H.P. Lovecraft, I decided to start with some samples (Imp's Ears - grin) from their "A Picnic In Arkham" series.
    Black Phoenix says that Herbert West smells of 'Aftershave, embalming fluid, and splatterings from a panoply of reanimation reagents.' A pretty turn of phrase to be sure, but do I really want to be wearing this stuff? :) Well, I'm happy to report that it smells pretty good. The initial application is similar to a lime-infused version of... Mugler's Cologne???!! Hmmm, not bad. I will confess that in the middle notes, there is something a little strange. Not bad, but strange. A bit sharp, makes you want to smell more just to figure out what it is. Maybe this is the embalming fluid note? But for me, the coolest part is the drydown. It stays very close to the skin and is reminiscent of skin after a swim in salty ocean water on a hot summer day. Thumbs up for being a slightly crazed, but good-smelling and fairly mild-mannered scent that wouldn't be out of place in an office setting. Hmmm... Kind of like Jeffrey Combs playing the mad Doctor Herbert West in the "Reanimator" movie. My only critique: the juice should be phosphorescent green instead of a pale yellow color.

    23 April, 2008

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    Muschio / Musk by Santa Maria Novella

    Ridiculously good. Rich, creamy, musky, evocative... I could go on and on. I could, but that would prevent me from sticking my nose up to my wrist and smelling this some more. You get the picture. Well worth your time and money.

    11th April, 2008

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    Burberry London for Men by Burberry

    So good. Finally, a scent with a heavy lavender component that's done well. Lavender, with a touch of tobacco, leather and wood. Someone could definitely use this as an every day fragrance. And by 'someone' I mean me. :) Heavy on the class, and could certainly cause a "Panic on the streets of London." ;)

    05 May, 2007

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    Terre d'Hermès by Hermès

    When I was in high school, in the late eighties, I was doing a lot of scuba diving, and there was a new brand of sunscreen that wouldn't wash off in salt water - useful stuff, and it smelled just like bitter grapefruit. Imagine my shock and amazement when I discovered Terre d'Hermes, which smells quite similar. Add in a splash of orange, cedar, moss and earth, and there you have it. An utterly bombastic and awesome fragrance. Not one I'll wear every day, but I'll never be without a bottle of this.

    19 April, 2007

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