Perfume Reviews

Reviews by And-Or

Total Reviews: 7

L'Eau d'Issey pour Homme Intense by Issey Miyake

Wet Ashes

Odd without being weird. It's wearable in the most conservative sense, yet isn't expected. Powdery yet bitter. Dirty in a non-animalic way — by way of actual dirt, not mammalian fluids. Stoic and emotionless. If this were a color I'd say it's fluorescent brown, an impossible, contradictory color. It's smokey while at the same time having a cold buzz about it. Something like a fever if a fever could be pleasant. It's ashes and embers still warm from last night's campfire, lifting vapors through a cold foggy morning. It's Twain's joke about San Francisco summers being the coldest winters he'd ever experienced. It's sunglasses and a wool sweater. Petrified wood. Janus.

Good summer fragrance for those who prefer winter fragrance. It lasts all day and changes very little, very slowly, backwards.

I think architects would like this.

Pros: Longevity Wearability
Cons: Emotionless"

16th July, 2013

Florida Water by Murray & Lanman

Nice Household Product

Cola-softdrink minus sticky-sugar. Overall nice. Smells natural. I wish it was less spicy. I think spices bring out the sour quality in citrus rather than the freshness. It's wonderful in a bathtub since the faint chlorine in bathwater brings out the freshness and cancels out the acidity of the citrus in a way that turns the spices into a nice compliment. I realize it's weird to speak positively of chlorine as a layered note. It works.

This is also a wonderful cleaning solution for dirty keyboard keys. Cuts the grime and makes your desk smell nice. I also use it to wipe down my toes after I clip my toenails. This has made me interested in cheap weak colognes overall. So versatile!

Pros: versatile, cheap, smells natural
Cons: spiced citrus is not my favorite harmony = Cola

06th July, 2013

Marc Jacobs for Men by Marc Jacobs

Tacky Girls Have More Fun

Darvant calls this unclassy and I agree that it's tacky — but it's tacky in a fun, self-possessed way. Maybe as I become more sensitive I'll find more to fault but at this time I have to say I like it. It's fruity and sweet while not being aquatic, gourmand, or feminine. I haven't smelled anything else that does this. Apparently there are better "figs" out there but on a shelf full of sporty-this, and old-fashioned-that, this caught my attention and imagination. It's not for a cool evening at a nice restaurant, it's for beers and riding inner-tubes down the river on a hot day. It's for laughter and messy hair. Ms. Versace once said something along the lines of: it's good to have bad taste, it's having no-taste you should be worried about. However I do think the average designer-price is too much for something so campy. As with Givenchy Play Intense, I can't imagine spending much money on this (I have a sample) but if I received a bottle, or found it at a discount store, I would happily wear it. It lasts for hours on me on a sweaty summer day. I catch pleasant whiffs of it now and then. Not to be vulgar but it seems relevant to add that the first time I wore this a sexual escapade ensued within hours and I received a compliment from the guy while he made his way down my body. Maybe it is a gourmand after all!

Pros: pleasant, fun, humorous
Cons: should be cheaper

29th June, 2013
Advertisement — Reviews continue below

Givenchy Play Intense by Givenchy

Nice guys finish last.

I keep thinking of insipid praises for this: nice... pleasant... acceptable... I like it... It's sweet and low-testosterone but not necessarily feminine or castrated either. It's sexy in a nice-guy-who-cuddles-afterward sort of way. It's not angsty, therefore not juvenile (thank god). Young, mature, well-adjusted. This is that pleasant guy you intended to call back after that one night — but never got around to it. Oops. I hope he's doing well...

I didn't notice the progression of notes if there was any. I didn't care to. It's not that I was bored I just wasn't intrigued either. I just accepted the simple pleasure of it and continued with my day.

It has a balanced, engineered gourmand quality that isn't necessarily synthetic but not haute-cuisine either. Vanillic, sweet but not too sweet, individually wrapped creme-sandwich-cookie from a small japanese grocery, "cocoa" the character on the package smiles... It's light in a good way. It doesn't last long though: sprayed late-morning; gone late-afternoon (or did I just get used to it?).

I would totally wear this often if I had a bottle. I don't care enough to buy it but if I received it as a gift one day it would be appreciated as a really great gift.

Pros: light, pleasant, cuddly, no complaints
Cons: short-lived, unexciting

13th June, 2013

Black by Bulgari

A.I. Sex Robot, 2072

I'm totally new to fragrance, and I'm hunting for a signature as well as 2-3 occasionals. This has signature potential but for now all I know for sure is it's on the buy list. The moment I whiffed this it was instantly on the politely-ask-for-more-samples-than-you're-allowed list. It was the weirdest thing I had sprayed. It was warm, broody and a little confusing.

Then I read up about it here. "Arson at the Local Auto-Parts" That can't be… I'm a tea drinker who never uses sweetener, so surely I'd see this rubber for the natural earthy tea that it really is? Nah. No fondness for roasty oxidized teas can deny that this smells like rubber. But I can gladly assert that this is not burnt rubber. I don't get an acrid cancer causing fume. Just clean delicious rubber. The sex-bots of 2072 will be modeled after the bio-human specimens from earlier that century who wore Bvlgari Black.

It dries down sweetly and sensually (without spices) but keeps a strange mechanical edge. That's not to say the notes themselves seem synthetic. Think of the current trend in furniture where clean modern techno-shapes are made of reclaimed wood and oiled bronze. The components are natural and tactile even though the overall form points forward. I went into this venture expecting to hate anything that didn't seem earthy and natural. I really like Bvlgari Black despite the fact that it makes me feel like a robot. But this isn't for programed robots (they wear sport fragrances — oh! just kidding!), this is for robots that generate new ideas and were constructed at the molecular level using bio-mimic algorithms on organic compounds. They have as much free will as natural-humans.

: ::edit:: :

After wearing my generous sample a few times I now I feel like it dries down a little too powdery and feminine. It's still a very nice powdery-feminine and definitely something I don't mind wearing and enjoy smelling on myself — the problem is the sweetie-pie mood of the dry-down is such a contrast to the weird edgy opening and middle that it's a bit schizophrenic. The chance that it'll synch up with your mood on both ends of the wear might be rare. Just something to be aware of. If you spray it at night to go out the angelic dry-down might be good for waking up in a semi-stranger's bed and having a morning cuddle. But if you're in a broody mood and you spray this in the morning, there's a chance that by late afternoon you'll feel a little misrepresented unless you undergo a mood swing.

Pros: futuristic sexy warm gender-balanced
Cons: schizophrenic

12th June, 2013

Gucci pour Homme II by Gucci

North-African Sex Dream

Lovely. The immediate opening is a little atonal, like a small cat jumping up on a piano, but about 5 seconds in it quickly melts into a smooth warm cinnamon tea, very sweet but not cloying. Eventually a quiet, sexy waiter brings out a silver platter of tender dried fruits. Fruity but not raw; there's no trace of bright, live, acid, freshness; the fruit was put to death and lightly cooked in a gentle late summer sun with the nutrients still in-tact and the colors softened. Sensual, low-light, dark, but not somber. I get a refined mauve color out of this but I see why they targeted their market with blue instead. It's both very masculine and very feminine. An orgy of angels. I can see this working on a range of ages, genders, and body chemistries. Very well integrated and smooth, nothing seems tipped out of place. It lasts less than half a clock-face on me and I swear later on at bedtime the skin-ghost reminds me of my friend's hamper, a gal who wears women's Light Blue — sorry!

Pros: integrated, whole, balanced, calm
Cons: poor longevity on me

11th June, 2013

1 Million by Paco Rabanne

Trashy, but I think that's intentional.;

If I smelled this with a blindfold on I'd say it smells like waiting outside of a public restroom in a casino. You're near the smoking section, next to a gift shop stocked with candy and especially red licorice. Every time the bathroom door opens a cloud emerges that is a combination of the urinal-cakes, the cherry-almond soap leaking out of the dispensers, the disinfectant in the mop water the janitor is cleaning the floor with...

Then I take the blindfold off, see the tacky gold bar atomizer and think,

so wait — casino bathroom is exactly what the house was going for?"

At least it's self-aware.

07th June, 2013