Reviews

Reviews by Davisdujour

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Tea for Two by L'Artisan Parfumeur

This stuff is amazing! It smells like Candied Yams. You'll smell like you just got into a Thanksgiving Dinner food fight. But at $110 a bottle, it should be called "Tea for One, because for that price, I'm not sharing! Get your own.
11th August, 2006

Lalique pour Homme Equus by Lalique

Smells like a pet store or an unkempt hamster cage. However, I have a feeling that this stuff would make even the "Beastmaster" gag.
05th June, 2006

Animale Animale for Men by Animale Parfums

Better than A*Men. Yes, A*Men is great, but Animale Animale is a lighter, smoother, creamier chocolate whereas A*Men is a darker, richer, sharper chocolate. In that sense, Animale Animale is to A*Men what Bryant Gumbel is to Al Roker.
14th April, 2006
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Salvador Dali pour Homme by Salvador Dali

Evil. This is exactly what I imagine Buffalo Bill's pit in "Silence of the Lambs" must have smelled like---a mixture of blood, sweat, fungus, abject fear, feces and that dirty, filthy Precious. And the bottle cap consists of "lips", which is fitting since what's on the inside of the bottle is so reminiscent of raw, unrefined halitosis. I'd very much like to shove a tic-tac into those lips. It's also the closest replication to human body odor (more precisely "fat man funk") that I have ever smelled in the entire world of perfumery. I actually considered wearing some once just to be a little different, but then wisely thought, "No way, people's gonna think I haven't showered in a couple of days", and that's not exactly a fear that should ever be associated with wearing cologne. It smells like a corpse's butt. In sum, I'd rather wear pepper spray.
22nd February, 2006

Paradox for Men Blue by Jacomo

Smells like a wet magazine. It really does---as if it was manufactured at a paper mill rather than a fragrance factory. Very suitable for writers.
22nd February, 2006

Gucci pour Homme by Gucci

Thumb Amendment. This stuff is just too woody. I recently went to Home Depot while wearing this, and was actually purchased by a construction worker who mistook me for a piece of plywood. If I wanted to smell like nothing but wood, I'd date Bob Vila.
30th January, 2006 (last edited: 14th April, 2006)

New West for Him by Aramis

This fragrance is about as good as the show "Friends" is funny. There's a reason the former was discontinued and the latter was cancelled. Neither are bad; it's just that I have much better things to both wear and watch.
09th January, 2006

M7 by Yves Saint Laurent

Overrated I'd say. Smells like flat root beer. Gives me a craving for stale Fritos.
26th December, 2005

Pino Silvestre by Silvestre

Smells like vegetarian spaghetti sauce. This stuff is only suitable for men with the surname of "Boyardee". If you happen to use Parmesan cheese as body powder, this cologne would be great for you.
26th December, 2005

Opium pour Homme by Yves Saint Laurent

Far too sweet. I sprayed some on once and consequently had hungry ants following me around all day.
26th December, 2005

Fahrenheit by Christian Dior

This cologne smells like it was put out by OPEC. It doesn't emit an aroma; it emits fumes. You could power an industrial tractor with this stuff, but why mess up a perfectly good tractor. I wore this for over a year, and I never received one compliment from anyone--Not even my mother!!! Once I was wearing it when I went to the mall one day in search of a new cologne. The sales lady proceeded to describe the various colognes to me and all the ones she enjoyed. When she passed up a bottle of Fahrenheit, I asked her what she thought of it (all the while I was wearing it and she didn't know). She then began to tell me how much she hated it, and how nasty it was and how it made her sick to her stomach. I sort of agreed with her but I had to keep wearing it so I could justify all the money I had spent on it. I ended up wearing the contents of the 3.4 oz bottle I had purchased for about a year until it was gone. I then went to a landfill and hurled the empty bottle as far as I could into it. When I threw it, I saw like three stray dogs come running out of the landfill. I guess they smelt it and wanted to get away from it too.
11th October, 2005