Perfume Reviews

Reviews by Redneck Perfumisto

Total Reviews: 230

Allure Homme Sport Cologne by Chanel

Synthy bergamot
With oddly natural charms.
Citrus 2 point eau.
02nd February, 2018

Success by Trump by Donald Trump

Success, judged by this
Brushed nickel version of Chrome,
Is not out of reach.
31st January, 2018

Cuir de Russie Eau de Toilette by Chanel

Riding school leather.
Smooth, smoky and old-fashioned.
Gender: French saddle.
28th January, 2018
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Curve Black by Liz Claiborne

Black Claiborne Tweed be
Hollywood Catwoman licks
TV show Bruce Wayne.
27th January, 2018

Chanel Pour Monsieur Eau de Parfum by Chanel

Tiffany For Men
Through plush lemon lens became
Pour Monsieur Pour Femme.
26th January, 2018

Coco by Chanel

Mesmerized by this
Growling tiger of flowers,
Spices and resins.
25th January, 2018

Coco Mademoiselle L'Extrait by Chanel

Now just imagine
If Coco Mademoiselle
Really owned a bike.
24th January, 2018

Sycomore Eau de Toilette by Chanel

So then the kid says
"Mom! She smells like a story!"
Damn kid spotted her.
20th January, 2018

Stetson by Stetson

Sly vetiver adds
Yosemite macho to
This cowgirl Tabu.

20th January, 2018

No. 19 by Chanel

This standard of green
Seven twice from golden mean
Deep beauty unseen

Except in eye's mind
Where perfumes speak to the blind
Their way we might find

We look at it long
Nose hearing so much so wrong
Yet feel its sweet song

Your story to tell
In words you thought you knew well
That somehow you smell

Now ask selves' self why
If off means' mean this should lie
Mean's many should sigh

Lest answer be feared
That perfume's essence be steered
From timelessness weird

By masses of we
From the uniqueness of thee
Where taste and taste see

That formula's pins
Into eternity's spins
Fall to we's wee sins

Take heart in This juice
This Coco secret set loose
This green cash caboose

Approaching some point
Odd and common not disjoint
Prime's primes to anoint

Perspective, my friends
Never begins, stops or ends
But to looker lends

A magic mirror
In which no bottle's queerer
Meaner or dearer

Yet none are the same
By multiplicity's game
Of hide and go frame

So boys take a clue
From what the girls always knew
When looking at you

We dudes are quite green
At beauty properly seen
In mystery's mean

Which spreads out beauty
So it's all rather Cuty
Glitt'rin' da booty

Conversely I say
In a most relative way
Mean's mean has its day

Find gold thus you will
Mountain, plateau, valley, hill
Says this all's none's shill

No place on the chart
Evades both beauty and art
As each plays it part

The Coco you know
Gabrielle through lens of L'Eau
Fine angles will show

Take it to the bank
From some worthless perfumed crank
Whose heart they all sank

It's not just the eye
Where beauty's beauty will lie
If seeing we try

Beauty's fine lever
Is abolishing never
Through vantage clever

Beauty lets you find
You never had to be blind
Sweet poison of mind

Nineteen is the key
Let odd commonality
Set even yours free.
18th January, 2018

Perry Ellis for Men (new) by Perry Ellis

By their fruits know them
Even if you cannot tell
Exactly which fruit.
16th January, 2018

Chance Eau Vive by Chanel

Subversive floral.
Burning citric freshness and
Soft, cool, cotton musks.
15th January, 2018

Chance Eau de Toilette by Chanel

"Accident," I asked,
"That this smells like Coco Mad?"
"Not a Chance!" she said.
14th January, 2018
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San Francisco 250 Post Street by Zara

The box-listed notes
Are a bit more extensive
And explain the smell:

Category: Woody

Top: Incense, Pepper, Rhubarb, Yuzu

Mid: Jasmine, Orange Blossom, Violet

Bot: Cedar Wood, Musk, Vanilla

Toasted vanilla
With a dry, rubbery edge,
Defines this fragrance.

Incense and pepper
Combine smoothly with cedar
To spice it all up.

The rich, wet florals
Help vanilla's booze come out,
While rhubarb plays coy.

The yuzu and musk
Add freshness with the incense
To keep it all light.

Interesting stuff.
Bulgari Black Pour Hipster.
And a great value.
12th January, 2018

Givenchy Gentleman (new) by Givenchy

Feeling guilty that
Givenchy Gentleperson
Somehow pleases me,

This fragrance that would
Turn Papa in for toxic

And fire him from his
Precarious retirement
For incorrect thoughts

Like mocking cat pics
Offered as reparations
For dad's civet farms

Or wondering if
Junior has any right to
Turn in Dad's guy patch

For the reward of
Baby's breath and girlfriend's smile
Pears on the table

And other sweeter
Vanities allowed by law
Or righteous fashion.

So should old Habits
Not die soon or hard enough
That new ones flourish

Be that as it may
Under their own tyrannies
Then let them at least

Ride off into some
Gentleman's Collection of
Older Gentlemen.

Where old lady scents
Fill the air most youthfully
In relative time

And youth can forget
History's finest fragrance,
So thusly condemned

Repeat its same Joy,
Discovering new nothings
Under Beauty's sun.
11th January, 2018

Cristalle Eau Verte by Chanel

Chanuary Nine.
Sun melts snow wets ferns scents breeze
Then Bounce yells "SPRINGTIME!"

10th January, 2018

Musc Ravageur by Editions de Parfums Frederic Malle


Thou SHALT respect THE
Plastic cinnamon diapers
But SHALT NOT wear them.
05th January, 2018

Les Météorites by Guerlain

Violet's cool space
Brightly fell on a warm night
And kept like a child.
05th January, 2018

Coco Mademoiselle by Chanel

Coco young at heart!
Picasso taught you rigor
But Polge gave you depth!
01st January, 2018

Stash by Sarah Jessica Parker

We all knew the truth.
"Conehead Amber's Dimestore Dreams",
Should have won the gold.
31st December, 2017

Axe Kilo by Axe / Lynx

Lost a thousand bucks
In FragComm's HerbAllure scam
Could have just bought this.
24th December, 2017

Vol de Nuit by Guerlain

Whan all's said and done
Let somebody remember
The best of Guerlain.
24th December, 2017

Field Notes from Paris by Ineke

The wondrous part of
Coffee in a coffee shop
Is the coffee shop.
23rd December, 2017

Concentré D'Orange Verte by Hermès

Mythical god's fruit
Though you never really were
You really were great.
23rd December, 2017

Un Jardin en Méditerranée by Hermès

Richest of Jardins,
Circle sea's fragrant bounty
Beyond its own dreams.
22nd December, 2017

Old Spice by Procter & Gamble

Rugged, manly and
Disturbingly feminine
To this post-niche nose.

Life barely hiding
That Fashion subverts itself
By very Nature

Proving that Fashion's
Time and gender both cannot
Be precisely known

Theorized somewhat
Originally by those
Loud boys called Blue Cheer

Was apparently

Not lost on Coco
In her prior researches
On Time's wavy locks

Lovingly set free
When she trimmed her own one day
And Blue Cheer didn't.
21st December, 2017

Coriolan by Guerlain

This herbal beauty,
Guerlain's lost rustic charmer,
Honored by Hommeage.
20th December, 2017

Un Jardin sur le Nil by Hermès

Story became you,
Soft strange smell so distant, yet
You became story.
19th December, 2017

Monocle Scent One: Hinoki by Comme des Garçons

Simple, changeless, stand accused
Of your true nature.
18th December, 2017

Jasmin Impératrice Eugénie by Creed

Hail jasmine empress
Long-lived by ancient virtues
Growing young again.
18th December, 2017