Perfume Reviews

Reviews by Olfactologist

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Total Reviews: 30
23rd February, 2019

Beau de Jour by Tom Ford

Barbasol shave cream. The red can.
07th February, 2019

Oud Wood Intense by Tom Ford

Avoid. Back when you could pump gas or petrol or 'tane (for you Proud Mary fans) I had a job doing that straight out of high school (GCSE's or Gymnasium for you overseas compadres) and it was a job where you had to wash thick coats of grease offa your hands all the time. We had industrial detergent soaps in the garage that you would use; a very abrasive viscous red or blue liquid pump bottle, brand name Zep. Product was called Perform. You can buy its successors at Autozone or Sam's Club to this day. Anywho, if that didn't work on tough hand grime, you would bathe them in this solvent that smelled a lot like Oud Wood Intense. So, to me the Tom Ford product is overpriced. I haven't tested it on stubborn automotive hand grease, so I cannot comment on its efficacy removing it. If I am going to smell this bad, it had better remove grease and unit volume cost has to be reduced by several decimal places.
27th November, 2018
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Royal Mayfair by Creed

This is a masculine floral, but for the life of me I can't understand why people think this smells like rose. Nor do I detect anything that smell like gin, pine, or lime.

Instead, what you get is a fairly linear blast of honeysuckle and orange blossom. Granted, we don't all live in climates where these flowers bloom, but here in central Florida, this is what spring smells like. Yes, we have four seasons. So I can sympathize with those who are unfamiliar.
The other greenish note I detect is privet hedge flower, also a springtime scent but maybe from further north.

Given these strong associations with spring, I am fond of wearing this in winter, just to stir the pot a little bit. Chances are, not many acquaintances have smelled such a thing as only the committed would shell out that kind of money for a full bottle. I'm not a Creedhead, but I am familiar with the lineup and this is one of my favorites from their hacienda.
25th November, 2018

Tobacco Vanille by Tom Ford

You're a Vape Bro and you favor gingerbread cookie flavored vape juice.
06th November, 2018

Comme des Garçons 2 Man by Comme des Garçons

All I get from this is a lot of Iso E Super. Becomes a skin scent within an hour. If you wear this with a starched shirt, the starch will out-project and out-sillage it.
16th September, 2018

Figment Man by Amouage

This sample came with my order of Imitation straight from Amouage. Floral citrus opening with a very cloacal note that I could barely tolerate. In that sense it reminded me of Gold for men, but not rosey. I hung in there as it was somewhat intriguing and incontrovertibly well-crafted. About 2 hours in it settled into the drydown which I found quite pleasant. However, there's no way I could sit through 2 hours to get to the drydown. Pass.
11th July, 2018

Imitation Man by Amouage

My initial impression is that certainly it opens with rose and dries down with a dry wood, projects well. Towards the end you get the vetiver and patchouli. Of all the narrative descriptions that I see with the Amouage line this one is far and away the most relevant (like, how in the world does Interlude for men have anything to do with that narrative??) Imitiation truly and exuberantly brings the 70's PARTAY with big hair and big fat soles and heels if not friggin' ROLLER DISCO SKATES; maybe add a big frilly tuxedo shirt worn by Tony Clifton hosting the Bay City Rollers Variety Hour (a Sid and Marty Krofft Production). Not even close to safe for work! This is Rick James, bitch.
10th July, 2018 (last edited: 11th July, 2018)

APOM pour Homme by Maison Francis Kurkdjian

Orange sugar powder in a paper wax straw. No.
03rd July, 2018

Black Afgano by Nasomatto

Opens like Amouage Jub XXV, dries down like Journey Man. Do the $/ml math.
03rd July, 2018

Rocabar by Hermès

From the pyramid I thought this sounded really good, so I got ahold of a decent slug of it in decant form from TPC. I've worn it a few times now and, assuming this isn't a somehow adulterated sample, it is a big disappointment. It mainly hits with a very screechy aldehyde opening and there might be some ambroxan as it settles in. Once these volatile notes evaporate after an hour it has a faint presence of woods and spices. Very little "body" and mostly you get a smell of poorly integrated aromachemicals.
02nd July, 2018

Cape Heartache by Imaginary Authors

OK, the strawberry is OVERWHELMING, but not a bad choice for layering. Maybe with Profumum Roma Arso, but too candy-ass by itself.
26th June, 2018

The Soft Lawn by Imaginary Authors

Uh, "tennis balls"? Should be kind of fun and easy to get a rubber smell, no? Yeah, well you have to sit through a lot of nonsense before you get to the joke with this, but then you sort of laugh, politely. First comes an intense, synthetic chamomile followed by the smell of zested generic citrus peel, if you only zested the soft part of the skin rather than the rind. Then some orange, something from the entire cast of The Jersey Shore, getting table service in Vegas. Grey Goose, cranberry, orange, diet RedBull belches. Finale of white candle, well: at least it evolves.
26th June, 2018
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Olympic Rainforest by Olympic Orchids

Much as I have relied on Scent Detective's reviews to guide me in building my conifer-based armoire, this one is dead to me. Very strong sense-memories of that orange sawdust stuff they used to sprinkle on my classmates' vomit in primary school in the Archdiocese of Chicago. Gets a little citric-cedar-y after the first hour, like how a Flintstone's Chewable Vitamin used to taste in the 80's. If you ground up and snorted one.
12th June, 2018

Molecule 04 by Escentric Molecules

It's a very unusual thing. You spray this, say, on your arm but you can't just put your nose to your arm and smell anything. However, the rest of the day, and into the next, you are surrounded by a halo of sandalwood that you definitely CAN smell. In fact, it is somewhat intrusive that way. It persists for days. This is a fragrance the way some super hot pepper sauces are "sauces". The culinary applications of such sauces are very limited, but DAMN -- they definitely achieved the goal of making a stunningly and intolerably spicy liquid.
03rd June, 2018

Arso by Profumum

What a treat! The burnt pine is very much in your face at first blast, and then shortly thereafter a pretty big wave of pepper and coriander. The irrepressible fir resin hangs in there really well, and sustains a woody note as the spices die down. Thereafter at hour 2 or so these undertake a transition to an unlisted sandalwood note with a sotto voce vetiver. My soul still belongs to Norne, but this is a more refined and less glutinous Arizona/Tucson from Olympic Orchids. Shares a few similarities to Tom Ford Vert d'Incens at times in muted tones. Like, TFVdI at its boldest approaches Arso at its latest, wan, drydown phase.

Be Arsed for Arso!
22nd May, 2018

Gold Man by Amouage

All I can say, is: I'm glad I didn't explore the Amouage line in chronological order.

I read up on this one and somewhere there was the wisdom "definitely try before you buy" and so I got a sample from Luckyscent. I got through the initial blast of granny's partially-soiled bloomers, tiptoeing around the house trying to avoid my wife. She can be quite critical. The next phase hit around 45 minutes in and it was this Avon rose soap kind of thing, but if you sniff your wrist I'll be damned if it doesn't smell like burning polystyrene. Anybody who, as a boy, lit a plastic model tank on fire knows what I am talking about.

Neutral rating because I didn't hate it. It ain't my cup of tea, mainly because I don't like my tea with cat pee in it.
21st May, 2018

Ciel Man by Amouage

This could be a flanker for Knize 10, with a muted dynamic. A little soapier, and nowhere near the longevity or projection of K10 but that can be an advantage. Much more modern vibe but still a sly and gentlemanly nod to the bespoke Viennese stylings.
10th May, 2018

Molecule 02 by Escentric Molecules

I will post this under every EM product, so if you've seen this before stop reading but at least one time note the following: you should buy every Molecule 0X and Escentric 0X and I will tell you why.

The reason (I have found and the usual miles may differ) is that this series is an education in fragrance. Each archetypal component molecule is examined -- start from the Escentric 0 to the X, then go to the equivalent Molecule. You will soon discern the influence of major scent famiies like Sandalwood, Vetiver, Ambroxan, and ISO E Super. You will thereafter learn these very popular notes in other compositions. Graduate-level education in fragrance. You will also learn how these major chemicals interact with your personal skin chemistry.

Do all eight for a true Rosetta Stone of the universe of fragrance, but at least a pair or two, whatever interests you.
26th April, 2018

Escentric 02 by Escentric Molecules

I will post this under every EM product, so if you've seen this before stop reading but at least one time note the following: you should buy every Molecule 0X and Escentric 0X and I will tell you why.

The reason (I have found and the usual miles may differ) is that this series is an education in fragrance. Each archetypal component molecule is examined -- start from the Escentric 0 to the X, then go to the equivalent Molecule. You will soon discern the influence of major scent famiies like Sandalwood, Vetiver, Ambroxan, and ISO E Super. You will thereafter learn these very popular notes in other compositions. Graduate-level education in fragrance. You will also learn how these major chemicals interact with your personal skin chemistry.

Do all eight for a true Rosetta Stone of the universe of fragrance, but at least a pair or two, whatever interests you.
26th April, 2018

Molecule 01 by Escentric Molecules

I will post this under every EM product, so if you've seen this before stop reading but at least one time note the following: you should buy every Molecule 0X and Escentric 0X and I will tell you why.

The reason (I have found and the usual miles may differ) is that this series is an education in fragrance. Each archetypal component molecule is examined -- start from the Escentric 0 to the X, then go to the equivalent Molecule. You will soon discern the influence of major scent famiies like Sandalwood, Vetiver, Ambroxan, and ISO E Super. You will thereafter learn these very popular notes in other compositions. Graduate-level education in fragrance. You will also learn how these major chemicals interact with your personal skin chemistry.

Do all eight for a true Rosetta Stone of the universe of fragrance, but at least a pair or two, whatever interests you.
26th April, 2018

Escentric 01 by Escentric Molecules

I will post this under every EM product, so if you've seen this before stop reading but at least one time note the following: you should buy every Molecule 0X and Escentric 0X and I will tell you why.

The reason (I have found and the usual miles may differ) is that this series is an education in fragrance. Each archetypal component molecule is examined -- start from the Escentric 0 to the X, then go to the equivalent Molecule. You will soon discern the influence of major scent famiies like Sandalwood, Vetiver, Ambroxan, and ISO E Super. You will thereafter learn these very popular notes in other compositions. Graduate-level education in fragrance. You will also learn how these major chemicals interact with your personal skin chemistry.

Do all eight for a true Rosetta Stone of the universe of fragrance, but at least a pair or two, whatever interests you.
26th April, 2018

Original Santal by Creed

Boring!

Boring boring boring boring boring boring boring boring boring boring boringboring boring boring boring boringboring boring boring boring boringboring boring boring boring boringboring boring boring boring boringboring boring boring boring boringboring boring boring boring boringboring boring boring boring boringboring boring boring boring boringboring boring boring boring boringboring boring boring boring boringboring boring boring boring boringboring boring boring boring boringboring boring boring boring boringboring boring boring boring boringboring boring boring boring boringboring boring boring boring boringboring boring boring boring boringboring boring boring boring boringboring boring boring boring boringboring boring boring boring boringboring boring boring boring boringboring boring boring boring boring!
19th April, 2018

Bracken Man by Amouage

For the first half hour it is indistinguishable (to my nose, at least) from Houbigant Fougere Royale. It then takes a nosedive into skin scent intensity on me, thus my low rating for sillage/projection. Drydown is linear and more powdery than HFR, but there is a modernizing ozone/aquatic note in the early drydown about 90 minutes in, which then fades into the powder. Blind buy based on friend's recommendation but I think HFR is the better value if you like this kind of thing.
17th April, 2018 (last edited: 18th April, 2018)

Norne by Slumberhouse

Love/Hate. Love how it smells, and the paroxysms of Tolkienesque fanfic-grade prose it has inspired in some of the online reviews should suffice; I shall not add more. The two challenges: the viscosity is slightly stiffer than that of maple syrup, and it stains your skin a pale olive like a week-old bruise. The spray nozzle is a cheap flimsy contrivance as well and frequently squirms loose with the effort needed to get this fluid through the system. I like it! Just don't know where on my body I want to have a stain like this.
03rd April, 2018

Viking by Creed

Love this polarizing and unusual scent! Signature-worthy. Mature-fer-sure. Workplace safe, lasts all day and then some.
29th March, 2018 (last edited: 19th October, 2018)

Déclaration d'Un Soir by Cartier

Dish detergent accord and then settles rather rapidly into a woody rosy groove. Strong performer. Like this much better than straight Declaration.
29th March, 2018

Déclaration by Cartier

Box of Ticonderoga #2 pencils for the first 6 hours. Late in the drydown becomes acceptable.
29th March, 2018

Mark Birley for Men by Mark Birley

Mosquito repellent, but also repels other species including most vertebrates.
29th March, 2018