Perfume Reviews

Reviews by PorkFat

Total Reviews: 20

Bang by Marc Jacobs

Resniffed Bang at the dept store because I remembered it as forgettable, heh. What a mess! If you take Terre d'Hermes and remove anything redeemable about it, leave behind the Iso E Super stank, then water it down and you'd get Bang. So many better cedar-heavy scents out there.
19th March, 2011

O by Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab

Here's your Play-Doh scent right here.
18th March, 2010

Ca' Luna by Acqua di Biella

The similarity to the signature Tommy Bahama for men is pretty close. It doesn't strike me as sharp and unpleasant as that fragrance, however. A very interesting dry, peppery, woody dry-down is what really makes it like TB with musk
30th November, 2009
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Tommy Bahama for Men by Tommy Bahama

Dry, musty plywood sawdust and black pepper. Nasty, sickening stuff through and through!
29th November, 2009

Rochas Man by Rochas

Simply awful stuff! Like a mix between Bulgari Black and Lolita Lempicka L. Nauseating, smoky vanilla and coffee with some disconcerting, chemically, unrecognizable notes make this just a total scrubber. To mention this in the same breath as A*Men or other quality gourmands is just reprehensible!
29th November, 2009

Lonestar Memories by Tauer

I was hit by an instant memory after just one whiff. Rubber Halloween mask. It was of a creepy old man with warts and missing teeth. This fragrance recreates the scent of an rubber Halloween mask. Um, OK? Certainly doesn't bring to mind any of my hikes through the American midwest. I didn't come across any rubber masks then.
27th November, 2009

Number 3 / Le 3ème Homme / The Third Man by Caron

Fragrantica's note structure is more accurate than listed here. There is big citrus in this. A lot of lemon. Don't believe me? If you're having difficulty catching it, smell the fragrance on your skin through a garment and tell me there's no lemon.

Of there's plenty of lavender, herbs and spices but the fact that no one has listed citrus and only 2 out of 56 have mentioned the resemblance to Egoiste is puzzling to me. How they could miss such a note? Well, for one it's being overpowered my this concoction's burdensome mixture of overwhelming fragrance dynamos. It's stranglehold on your olfactory sense is damn near unbearable. Vetiver and lavender being a one-two punch to the nose really deadens your senses to the nuances of the other, more refined notes. Namely the lemon.

I think at half-power this fragrance could really be something special but the way it is now it just causes headaches and anosmia and a desire to curl up into a ball in the shower, rocking back and forth, crying into the night.
17th November, 2009

Chergui by Serge Lutens

I get wet pavement big time with this. The pavement that's been sitting out in the sun, baking and collecting the dirt, grime, dust and soil of the weeks since the last rain. Then dump some incense and syrup in the mix.

Something in the opening of Chergui kills my sense of smell. Shortly after taking a whiff of this I can't smell it again until several minutes later.

The dry-down is a generic-smelling vanillic gourmand. Not unpleasant but certainly nothing worthy of all the praise. It seems this fragrance has acquired the me-too bandwagon syndrome where one well-respected reviewer has created a following regardless of the quality of said fragrance.

Bois Blond by Parfumerie Generale does the hay thing much better.
25th September, 2009

Fougère Marines by Montale

This is very similar to Varvatos Vintage. Another mainstream job by Montale. His originality has been waning for a while as he clones popular designer fragrances. Let's see, what else does he have under his belt? Terre d'Hermes/Red Vetyver, Gucci Pour Homme/Greyland, Embruns d'Essenza/L'eau d'Issey, Boise Fruite/Silver Mountain Water.

This has the same fruity ozone characteristics of Vintage without the evergreen and leather notes.

What's funny are the same people who rate Vintage poorly, rate this clone highly. It is done better and is far more natural-smelling but it is not worth the additional price if you already have the other.
24th September, 2009

Private Collection - Bois Blond by Parfumerie Generale

Dried fish, sour greens, dry AND sweet (how the heck is that even possible?)? I don't know what previous reviewers were smelling but Bois Blond was not it.
This is one of my favorites. It reminds me of braided sweet grass used in shamanistic rituals by Native Americans.
Fresh cut hay is a predominate note in this followed by tobacco, wood and amber.
It really pushes the boundaries of what a fragrance should be. It introduces those willing to break free from their fragrance bonds of what a "normal" fragrance is to a very unique and nostalgic trip back to the days of walking parched grassy fields on a hot Summer day.
10th September, 2009

Silver Mountain Water by Creed

Like derekp, I too had the tingly nose response the first 4 or 5 times and generally didn't care for the fragrance to cost ratio. And frankly, it smells very similar to the other Millesimes in the Creed line. So similar in fact to Himalaya and Millesime Imperial that I wouldn't bother with the others if you had one of them, unless you just *had* to collect all the Creeds like some fragrance Pokeman challenge.

Then something happened on the 6th try that forced my hand to trade a Montale for it. I'm not sure what changed, but I no longer had that almost allergic reaction and I started falling a little in love. Rich characteristics popped out that had previously remained hidden and what emerged was a refreshing chill that was so pleasant, I had to have more!

I still think it smells similar to several other Creeds, but I might buy just one more...
09th September, 2009

Lacoste Elegance by Lacoste

This is hands down, the best Lacoste fragrance. That's not saying much nor is it much of an accomplishment but it is what it is. There is no chocolate and not a lot of mint like what others are reporting. I think they should have smelled it before they read the pyramid.
What are the most dominating notes then? Sweet raspberries and cedar. It's really wonderful and, yes even a bit elegant. Nothing refined or pretentious and it doesn't stay around very long or project so you may want to spray extra on your skin and clothing to make it last.
Again, you won't go turning heads but you'll enjoy this nice, mild, sweet, woodsy fragrance while it lasts on you.
08th September, 2009

L'Homme by Yves Saint Laurent

L'Homme is really a love it or hate it deal. I find it sharp, almost metallic and unpleasant. The bright citrus, herbal basil and violet and the tonka all clash to my nose. I think I will sum it up in verse:

Not the most terrible fragrance in the land
Although it is rather boring and bland
Totally unlike every other YSL offer
Smells like something from Azzaro's discount coffers
07th September, 2009
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Antidote by Viktor & Rolf

Smells like a mish-mash of industrial chemicals and melted plastic. I think this is in the bottom 5 of the worst fragrances I have ever had the displeasure of smelling. I hated the sample but bought a bottle because it was such a great deal. It is a cool bottle too. Thankfully I didn't spend near retail for it.
04th September, 2009

Comme des Garçons 2 Man by Comme des Garçons

Love the opening! Smokey incense that takes me back to burning leaves as a child. A very light smoke mixed with pantry spices and vetiver. The smoke burns off too soon and the whole mix turns into a lighter version of Encre Noir after a couple of hours. Too bad as that smoke is why I like it.
30th August, 2009

Versace Man Eau Fraîche by Versace

Starts out with the same watered-down lemon-in-rubbing alcohol as Light Blue for women and ends up as a sickly Bvlgari Pour Homme. With their powers combined, they become Captain Nauseating. This is a truly awful fragrance.
15th June, 2009

Wood & Spices by Montale

No wood. Hardly any spice. It's the TJ Maxx cheapo Dunhill Desire Blue in a different bottle and marked up 400%. What happened Montale?
12th June, 2009

Royal Water by Creed

Lemon, lemon, lemon. Eau d' Furniture Polish. But it has the name "Creed" on the bottle, it was made for Lady Di and you just shelled out $200 so it must be good right? Wrong. This is just laziness. The lemon doesn't go away. Even the next morning it turns into lemon powder. It overpowers everything else. Just horrible
16th March, 2009

Brit for Men by Burberry

I'm holding off on this review until I can get my hands on a better sample.
09th March, 2009 (last edited: 28th August, 2009)

Touch for Men by Burberry

One of the few florals for men that I enjoy. The powdery violet is a great burst at the opening and it really stays with it through the tonka and musk end. Very linear with medium projection but unfortunately not very good longevity. The bottle and wood top are very cool for such a low-cost fragrance.
09th March, 2009 (last edited: 30th August, 2009)