Perfume Reviews

Reviews by DietBakingSoda

Total Reviews: 14

OS Signature by Old Spice by Procter & Gamble

This has been remarkably hard for me to track down in my area, which that made me rather hastily snag it when I happened uppon it in a CVS pharmacy on the richer side of town. I'm rather sorry I did.

I have a cursed skin chemistry, it seems, as any and all fragrances that might break down into unpleasant smells always do for me. This one took longer than most, maybe half an hour, before degrading into a burning ziploc bag...

The problem is that it doesn't smell to me anything like what the above pyramid describes. After the (rather uninteresting, but not unpleasant) blast of random florals I got a very interesting combination of CURRY SPICES. Not pine, ceadarwood, musk, but instead a very distinct corriander, cumin, and the like. If that's what it was meant to smell like, then bravo - very dry, dusty, and delightfully odd.
26th July, 2009

British Sterling by Dana

This is perhaps my favorite aftershave, a pleasant suprise from a blind-buy made in the clearence aisle at a Wal-Mart. It's sort of floral, with a verdent/spicy base, but dries down predominantly soapy (in a rather good way, mind).

I liked it enough to buy an adorably small bottle of the cologne, which I proceeded to spill onto my pantleg. Thankfully, it's a pleasing smell to me, and not very powerful, so I did not have to spend the evening in tears or pantsless.

So then, if I seem to like it so much, why the neutral rating? Well, because to me it smells like a confused knockoff of the infamous Brut. In fact, on my skin it smells so much like Brut that someone could switch bottles on me and I'd likely never notice.

All in all it's fine for an aftershave. Perhaps wearable to work as a cologne. It's safe, and might be a nice alternative to Old Spice or other everyday mass-market frags.
26th July, 2009

English Leather Black by Dana

Starts out pretty decent, woody, leathery, but still sweetish - all things that seem appropriate for the name. After that, however, this stuff rapidly degrades into something that smells like it's meant to be sprayed over infectious materials to kill flesh-eating bacteria. I can only begin to describe it as sort of the sharpest, most concentrated form of aspect of fresh cut grass (when chewed and than shoved up one's nose), or perhaps burning plastic.

The pleasant top notes' longevity was, unfortunately, the time it took me to wander around the eckerd's that was going out of business (I bought this and several other cheap frags half off that day) and get out the door. Obviously, I had about seven or so competing scents on my arms so I waited till much later to confirm, but yes, that striking, sharp, almost alkaline smell was all that was left after about an hour. It was also pretty strong too, and the only comment on ANY of my scents I have gotten in a long time was on that day, from my friend and co-worker: "You smell funny."

No, I'm not making that up. He thought I had spilled some weed killer or other lawn care product on my shoe. Thankfully I was able to scrub it off (I always test new fragrances on my arm, above the elbow. Easier to determine how quickly it fades) and have never re-applied it. I am contemplating taking it to an outdoor gun range and placing a lit candle next to that big, black, easy-to-see bottle...
25th May, 2009
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Axe Instinct / Lynx Instinct by Axe / Lynx

I'm deeply, deeply ashamed to admit this, but I actually love this fragrance. I only bought this out of curiosity, thinking, like all but a tiny handful of canned dederants, this would be laughable, but when I tried it out I was shocked. It smelled delightful, with a strong combination of leather, spice and citrus (or maybe ylang ylang?) and hints of other stuff I'm too inexperienced to pick out.

The most suprising of all, was the complete lack of that awful "can and soap" smell this company seems to rely on. I assumed that, since it was so prevalent in their line, it was the actual deoderant components. Good to be wrong.
17th May, 2009

Axe Essence by Axe / Lynx

Absolutely terrible. The only thing this really smells like to me is the can it comes in and the isubutane/propane/nuclear propellant that pushes this tawdry stuff out. The rest is pretty much gone faster than a box of twinkies in a stoner's house.

Interesting note, though: I sprayed it on a hat a couple times (had one of those bullets, which was the whole reason I got it in the first place: neat packaging) and it slowly it mutated into the smell of... wait for it... A dog's anal glands.

I swear on any holy book you wish, I am not making this up! I should know, too: I have to frequently dodge the stuff in the kennel where I work. I am not attempting to imply that it was the frag's fault - it was probably chemically reacting with something in my hair, or something that my hat was dry-cleaned with - but it just as well. Blech.
17th May, 2009

Old Spice Pure Sport by Procter & Gamble

This alone proves that, with very, very few exceptions, the old spice brand tends to create suprisingly high quality fragrances. Not, of course, to imply that this is a terribly grand or complex scent; if anything it's the simplest one they make.

First time I tried this fragrance, it was in spray deoderant form, and I liked it enough to nab a few sticks of it when it popped up breifly at Sam's club, and even on the last stick I still like it. Not love, mind, but it definately hasn't grown tiresome.

On an interesting note, thanks to the deoderant stick I found that it blends suprisingly well with Stetson Black...
17th May, 2009

Stetson Black by Stetson

Definately one of the few "black" variants running around that actually smells, well, dark. It's a bit heavy-handed, though, with a peircing, hard-edged leather smell that crowds out the lower notes. Some have called this one sweet, but I don't really detect any sweet notes.

Overall, it smells like three or four types of leather, all soaked in cheap whisky, which, strangely enough, I rather like. Still, liking it and liking it enough to be wearing it aren't really the same. I've put some on my hat once (cowboy hat, go figure), and that's about it. Good on things, more than good on people - sort of like that fake "new car smell" dealerships spritz around used automobiles.

Kind of a bizzare use for it, I suppose, but it works. Adds depth to whatever I actually have on my skin.
17th May, 2009

Adidas Sport Fever by Adidas

This one's a little hard for me to describe, at least politely. Regardless of the notes, each and every one smells entirely synthetic, almost as if every aspect of this frag was somehow created with shavings of an old tire. The predominant (overwhelming) charactaristic of this scent is this bizzare, waxy musk-like smell. The only way I can really describe this is an attempt to create artificial must.

No, I didn't screw up the spelling of "musk". I mean "must": Though slang it may be, it refers to that lovely, mildewey, half rotten stink of sweaty gym clothes rolled in a bundle and forgotton, only to be unraveled two weeks later and found to still be damp in the center. Think wearing the same socks for a week, stuffing them each night into te tops of your shoes so the footsweat never dissapates.

Beyond this strange, powerful robo-must, there's a hint of orange. It's also rather artificial, but still realistic enough to make envision orange peels slowly dessicating in the wastebin.

All that aside, I'm not hating this either. It's not unpleasant, and it blends nicely with one's own body funk at the end of a hot day, and seems to come out strong when excercising (though dims and all but dissapears very quickly otherwise). I've kept the bottle and worn it now and again, but more because I find myself drawn to its novelty than because I actually want to smell of sweaty robot.

Also the shower gel (waste not, want not!) is considerably more pleasant, perhaps because it seems milder and is instantly gone with the suds. The deoderant stick simply lies; it neither works nor provides the promised "24-hour fragrance". Works for keeping one's undercarriage slightly less funktastic, though.
17th May, 2009 (last edited: 10th June, 2009)

Stetson by Stetson

This is a very feminine scent, at least if you apply today's standards (after all, floral scents used to be considered far more masculine), and in my mind much moreso because its uncanny resemblance to the perfume my grandmother used to wear around the house. The jasmine is extremely pronounced, and is one of the last things to remain hours after application, followed by the (almost) sickly sweet amber that seems to cling to your skin nearly 24 hours after you first put it on. Too bad the rest of its character isn't so tenacious (though it can last a good 6-8 hours).

That isn't to say it's bad, or immasculating to those wearing it. It's got enough of a woody, musky hint to it that it won't be mistaken for a woman's perfume, at least not very often. I almost smell whiskey in it too, but that's likely to just be due to its sepia hue and 'cowboy' theme.

Beware the splash-on bottles, though. It isn't loud or far-reaching, but can bring tears to innocents' eyes without proper ventelation. Bottom line: Another mass-market fragrance that's fantastic - for the money, that is. I've worn it, and will wear it again, and won't be embarassed if my girlfriend does too.
17th May, 2009 (last edited: 14th June, 2009)

Old Spice by Procter & Gamble

I can see (or rather, smell) why this was originally intended to be a perfume. It's almost sickly sweet and powdery but not offensively so, and would be at home on either sex, at least if you ask me.

That being said, I assure everyone I did not mistakenly pick thumbs up when I meant thumbs down: I am quite fond of this one. It reminds me of any number of sweet baked goods at once: Pumpkin pie, pralines, sandies... I like to think it makes me smell like a walking sugar cookie - a very angry looking, long-haired sugar cookie.

Anywho, the only real downside, besides the popularity, is the longevity. It may stay on you for days, but after about thirty minutes you'd have to jam your nose into the very spot you applied it to detect it. Good 'intimate' choice I suppose. Personally, I carry around one of the smaller bottles in my bag, so when running an errand on the job (a job which good ol' Mike Rowe should feature on his show I might point out) it can mask some of the less savory funk with a simple splash or two. It's definately a good "end of the day" frag, and also tends to come out of hiding during a good workout.
17th May, 2009

Le Mâle by Jean Paul Gaultier

This one is possibly my favorite, at the moment tied with Guerlin's Vetiver. It's warm, sweet, and complex, with all the notes building up their neighbors rather than competing with each other in a bar brawl. Also, this stuff last all day, only needs a slight application, and covers a distance without being terribly loud (unless you bathe in it, as I did once for the character I played one halloween, and even then I got compliments more than complaints).

I think the only downside to this one is that is smells like a fragrance. That is to say, it smells like it came flying out of a bottle in a deliberate attempt to make someone smell like they're wearing a fragrance, as opposed to a milder, subtler one that adds to your presence without announcing itself outright. One too many sprays and this one kind of punches you in the nose and screams "Hey, this guy is wearing #@$^ing cologne!"

Also, this one is rather expensive. The bottle I have now was a gift, and while I like it enough to perhaps purchase another bottle, I might look into similar scents and save some cash.

Oh, and does anyone else think "duffel bag" when looking at the bottle sidelong?
17th May, 2009

Ginseng N.R.G. by Jovan

I think this stuff's pretty decent in quality, to be honest, but it lacks the complexity you might expect looking at the little note pyramid up there. To me, it smells of honey and ginseng and little else, but there is an overwhelming, chemically, black pepper-like scent hanging over all the rest like a storm cloud. It's so strong, in fact, that while not unpleasant per se, it ends up annoying and leaves me a little self concious, since that's he only note you can detect without putting one's nose within inches of my skin (which, I'm dissapointed to say, no one ever seems to do; woe as me). However, reading the other reviews, I'm starting to believe that this might just be something I and very few others can detect (like that aweful sour note in aqua de gio), so maybe most can't notice.

Overall, I do think this one's okay, but it's not my cup'o'tea.
17th May, 2009

Drakkar Noir by Guy Laroche

I enjoy this one, and actually first discovered it by way of a cheap copy you can grab for about 8 bucks. Fake VS real aside, this frag offers a suprisingly complex, sweet-but-not-girly aroma that blends into an interesting "synthetic" feel. In this case that's not a mark against it, and I feel that it adds to the overall character. Basically, it's a cologne that anyone without an interest in frags can instantly characterize as "a cologne".

I'm a bit torn about it, though, since I rather like this scent, but doubt I'd ever actually wear it. There are a few reasons for this, the first and foremost being that it was apparently unbelievably popular around the time I was learning to toddle. No, I'm not prejudiced against that decade, just the popularity, primarily since anyone around back then who recognizes it would give me the same reaction I'd give any frat boy drowning in Axe. Call me shallow if you must.
17th May, 2009
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Adidas Dynamic / Dynamic Pulse by Adidas

I know everyone else seems to hate this one, but I'm proudly within the minority that at least thinks it's at least wearable.

It may be because this it my first "true fragrance" (up until this one I had stuck to dollar store spraycans and such), but I really enjoy this one. No, I'm not calling it either, but its shortcomings actually add to its charms.

Like all Addidas scents, it's blazenly synthetic from start to finish, starting with a very loud anise-type note that I can only describe as what tazering a bottle of ouzo (greek liquor - try some!) might smell like. Sharp, in-your-face, and to me at least, oddly pleasant.

The rest of it is some blurry fruity/floral concoction with no clear notes I can discover. It slowly takes over, but thankfully never completely drowns out the anise. Meh, but not bleh.

All in all, it's love-it-or-hate-it. Well, maybe just like-it-or-hate-it. I may not wear this one but once in a while, and even then only for work or some such ho-hum occasion, but I'm not throwing away the bottle till it's empty.
17th May, 2009 (last edited: 10th June, 2009)