Jessica Simpson: Singer. Actress. Television personality. NFL quarterback girlfriend. Perfumer.
As I peeled back the flap of the perfume sample, I girded my nostrils for what I knew would be a scent as bubble-gum sweet as one of Jessica's pop songs. And so while the waves of syrupy sugar mixed with vanilla and cherry did not completely bowl me over, the notion that Jessica Simpson fancied smelling like an ice cream sundae sort of did. Maybe this perfume has something to do with her recent weight gain, because it smells incredibly fattening.
Potent, husky, cheap-smelling. This staunch stench sticks in your throat and may induce sneezing. It smells of committed bachelors, of tipsy flirting in a hotel bar, of torrid one-night stands with hot, vain women.
Coy, light, spicy, like old potpourri. Given its smooth simplicity, Khaki would have been more a more appropriate name. Women will smell this and suspect that you have accidentally purchased a women's fragrance.
Paris Hilton's subtle mix of fruit, flowers, and musk is intriguing, but ultimately it's a light, unobtrusive scent that's goes down like milk. Not a memorable fragrance. Not a scent that you crave. Not a perfume warranted for any occasion more momentous than a doctor's appointment.
And certainly not a perfume that a mega-rich heiress would wear, because lurking underneath that peachy freesia odor is the stinking smell of cheapness. Yes, Paris Hilton perfume smells cheaper than the complimentary shampoo at a Motel 6. It faded fast, too.
Confident, enduring, the essence of virility. This scent combines the traditional musk of men's cologne with the earthy bloom of a Yankee's Candle. It exudes success in the world and in the home. Scientifically formulated to make other men cower in your cocksure emanation. Women will be unwittingly attracted to the intangible Armani label.
Tangy, earthy, unconventional. Something for former hippies seeking a bold, natural redolence that says I am of the Earth. Yet there are no hints of floral softness; it is herbs and spices that belong on a thick, meaty steak. Women will smell this and want to lick and gnaw on you.
I bought this fragrance on sale and then initially regretted it. It smelled astringent and cheap so I rarely used it for about 3 years. Then a few weeks ago I picked it up again. Perhaps my nose or my body chemistry changed, because I really like the musky florals. It lasts long, too.