Reviews by The Aethernaut

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    The Aethernaut
    United Kingdom United Kingdom

    Showing 1 to 10 of 10.
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    Green Tea Tropical by Elizabeth Arden

    Ye gods people, I'm sorry but to my nose this is foul! I sniffed the bottle and thought - mmmm, lovely, sweet but slightly sharp fresh fruit, not the slightly nauseatingly over-ripe fruitiness that I smell in so many fragrances these days and of course clean, crisp green tea. A potentially lovely fresh scent for an everyday summer day at the office. I gave it a spritz, and for about a minute it was as delightful as I'd hoped. Then it morphed into eau de toilet cleaner, or possibly that shiny medicated bathroom tissue you used to get in hospitals and schools. Then, thankfully within half an hour it was gone. Sadly the headache and sore throat are not. Perhaps it's my body chemistry at fault rather than the fragrance, but I could never wear this.

    14th July, 2014

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    Jour d'Hermès by Hermès

    Eurgh. Lemon scented surface cleaner, but not as pleasant. This has to be one of the most artificial things I have ever smelt.

    04th April, 2014

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    Peony by Yardley

    Peony opens as a delicate but heady summer floral, very evocative of an English cottage garden. I had high hopes because of this, and for perhaps 20 minutes or so it developed towards being a bright, and airy fragrance with none of the screechy, soapy qualities that I sometimes find in unapolagetically old fashioned florals such as this. Sillage is very polite, even mere minutes after spraying I had to lift my wrist to my nose and really sniff to get anything at all. So, a skin scent. I'm ok with that. But after about half an hour, the fragrance had completely gone. Vanished! Well, not completely, there was a sour, bitter, stale amber which smelled like perfume that has been worn on a dirty body and not washed off for days on end. Not a sexy dirty... just sad and stale. This surprising metamorphosis took place in little under an hour. It could be that the awful drydown is down to my individual body chemistry and on someone else it would fare better. But the sheer lack of oomph of any kind, from the meager projection to the very swift disappearing act means I couldn't in all conscience recommend it to anyone. So disappointing.

    08th January, 2014 (Last Edited: 13th January, 2014)

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    Amarige by Givenchy

    Wow! This sexbomb of a juice has taught me the difference between daytime and evening fragrance like nothing else ever could. Today I accidentally drowned myself with this during a casual spritz at the Boots perfume counter and immediately knew I was in trouble. Don't get me wrong, the opening was heavenly - and LOUD! To me the opening smells of honeyed flowers - very similar to heather moorland on a hot August day, or a clover field, or linden blossom - a heady sun warmed bouquet, and beautifully done. As it develops an alluring spicyness appears alongside a warm sweet tobacco note - very very grown up and sexy! Unfortunately I'd gone out in my ripped jeans, scruffy t shirt and old sneakers and felt somewhat mortified at wearing such a loud, dressed up frag, but dressed up to the nines and with an agenda this would be perfect. I actually tried to scrub this off before continuing my shop but it didn't budge an inch and I felt I was walking around in a thermonuclear cloud of come hither. Men's heads actually turned as I went by... and looked right past me, as I couldn't possibly be the woman who was wearing that scent.

    It walks a real tightrope between being grown up and sexy and downright brazen sluttishness, and at one point in it's development it stopped smelling reassuringly well made and expensive and started stinking of end of the evening desperation, which is why it only gets a neutral. Oddly it was only the sillage that smelt tawdry and cheap, the skin scent was lovely. But with a sillage monster like this, ultimately it's the sillage that counts. That moment did pass and was replaced with a smooth sweet tobacco and tuberose, but really who wants to smell of desperation even for a moment? The drydown is lovely, the sweetness tempered by green and musky notes.

    I would certainly give this frag another try - applied carefully and in the right context I may well love it. It is obviously beautifully made and suits my skin chemistry (which is dry and often ruins frags by burning them off too quickly) but this is more of a weapon than a fragrance and not to be worn causally.

    28th July, 2011

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    English Rose by Yardley

    This fragrance deserves a much wider audience. I'll second MissMagic's opinion, and say that tested blind you would mistake it for a far more expensive juice. It is a perfect rose, incredibly realistic - you can almost smell the stems and leaves as well as the flowers, and it's beautiful right from the moment you spray until drydown. A generous hint of geranium keeps the scent fresh and interesting. It has a subtle but glorious sillage and lasts for hours.

    I have been longing for a decent rose frag since moving to a Turkish neighbourhood were women trail a seductive wisp of rose wherever they go. They splash liberally with huge bottles of good but weak eau de cologne to get that effect, and I've never been able to find anything long lasting to match it until now. This is perfect. A gorgeous womanly scent, to be enjoyed by women of all ages. If you harbour any prejudice against this frag for being cheap or appearing old fashioned, discard them now!

    *EDIT*
    I have just discovered that my beloved English Rose has been reformulated! I have not tried the new version, but I have to say I am now frantically searching for my "old" friend in order to stockpile; I had taken it for granted and splashed it about like water so that my current bottle is perilously low. To know that it will become harder to find is so sad. Why change something that isn't broken? Especially when I read that the new version does not smell much like roses any more :-(

    27th July, 2011 (Last Edited: 08th January, 2014)

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    L'Eau D'Issey by Issey Miyake

    I can understand how this groundbreaking juice was originally sold as the scent of water itself - it's coolness could be an interpretation of fresh water, but to me this is simply an elegant and unusual floral. It's use of crisp, clean floral notes which are strong and heady but not cloying or indolic give a powerful illusion of calmness and cool almost to the point of being chilly. Though this fragrance does not play nicely on everyone and can be incredibly variable it is absolutely beautiful on skin that suits it, and for once I am lucky as I can wear this and I know it smells as it should. Most florals screech or turn sour on me so I consider myself doubly lucky that if I chose, I could wear this.

    The only reason that I am giving it a neutral is personal taste. This fragrance may well suit my skin and I may be able to appreciate it's calm beauty but ultimately it is just a little too chilly for me, even a little sad. It reminds me of the scent of funeral wreaths; I wish it didn't, but it does. And that is a hard scent to wear well.

    22nd March, 2011

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    Fuel For Life pour Femme by Diesel

    On paper this smelled fresh, inoffensive, clean and polite. I detected mainly blackcurrant and what I assumed was green tea (although I see green tea is not included among the notes). A good daytime scent perhaps? It had to be worth a try. I sprayed a little on my wrist and went about my day. Within a few minutes the pleasant fruity/tea opening had warmed and transformed into a sillage monster of embarrassing proportions. The fruity notes became horribly synthetic - not in a sweet, fun, candybar kind of way, but in a cheap car air freshener that provokes motion sickness kind of way. Furthermore, they somehow managed to smell both synthetic AND overripe - eau de trashcan, anyone? No more refreshing green tea either - that was replaced with a cheap synthetic musk which gusted out of my shirt cuffs every time I moved and made me sneeze and clamp my arms to my sides in horror. I rushed to scrub, scrub scrub this off as soon as I had the chance, but within five minutes of each frantic scrubbing session it came back smelling worse than before. Today, a whole day and two showers since, it is still going. This stuff actually gave me an asthma attack - and I am not very prone to those - and this morning the skin is sore where I sprayed it. So it's a monster allergy trigger to boot.

    This smelled worse than lousy on me, and I accept that the problem here may well be my body chemistry. On someone that suits it, the longevity and gigantic sillage would probably be a huge plus. But a fragrance that actually makes me (and potentially others around me) sick? That would stop me dead even if the juice smelled great on my skin.

    22nd March, 2011

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    DKNY Women by Donna Karan

    Utterly pointless, totally banal. Save yourself the money and dab some fabric conditioner behind your ears.

    28th February, 2011

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    Dirty English by Juicy Couture

    I'm going to throw the cat among the pigeons here and say that as a woman I love this fragrance and find it extremely wearable. It opens with a blast of extraordinarily dry, bitter orange - so dry and bitter it's barely recognisable, backed up with a pungent petrochemical quality, a faint whiff of rough moonshine liquor and faint spice. So far so badass. I find this opening bracing and astringent, and it certainly wouldn't be for everyone. It settles down pretty quickly though, and when it does this becomes a woody, warm, dry spicy confection with the boozy muscovado whiff of cheap dark rum. It isn't nearly as rock 'n' roll as it thinks it is though, being a very clean scent on me at least, and once the opening dies down, sillage is polite. I find absolutely no hint of leather or smoke, which disappoints me somewhat as I bought this blind in the hope of both (A miniature bottle, from TK Max). I do very occasionally get a faint impression of skank, but the very dry, fresh hewn wood and rich muscovado ultimately add up to a bright clean wide awake fragrance rather than anything a biker might smell of. The extreme drydown is pleasant and woody.

    While this fragrance is unarguably masculine it does not have that tedious acrid tang that many assertively "male" fragrances suffer from. As such I find it very wearable; any woman who prefers her fragrances dark, rich and unconventional would do well to try this. And any man, for that matter ;)

    17th February, 2011 (Last Edited: 28th February, 2011)

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    Womanity by Thierry Mugler

    Well I don't know if it's my skin or this perfume that's playing the Diva, but I get markedly different results on each wearing of this juice. Lets just say that when she is good she is very very good, but when she is bad, she is horrid!

    On a good day the opening begins with a burst of fizzy, watery artificial grapefruit with a sweet, milky fig underneath.There is evidently much more going on than just these two notes which make this an incredibly intriguing scent - I am constantly raising my wrist to my nose but my sense of smell is too crude to distinguish what else is in there that makes it quite so compelling. It has a warm inviting quality that makes it very sexy - it's quite how you would wish your own skin to smell naturally. After a while hints of an odd vegetable quality, almost like celery, emerge. The grapefruit eventually dies down leaving me with that delicious fig-and-my-skin-but-better quality. This lasts for quite some time, and at this point of the dry down there is also a hint of something ozonic, but thankfully just a hint. The extreme drydown, which feels like it would go on forever if I didn't wash it off, has a pleasant warm sweet leather and tobacco quality. Sillage is good throughout - with just one spray it is noticeable but not overpowering.

    On a bad day the opening is every bit as lovely but lasts for all of ten minutes, to be replaced by a shrill, headache inducing ozone note overlaid with ashtrays which is utterly nauseating. It smells like one of those disgusting cheap car air fresheners that trigger you if you are carsick, and I have to scrub and scrub to remove it. Needless to say, spraying this stuff now feels like Russian roulette and I can't safely leave the house until I know which way she's going to turn.

    What I absolutely do NOT get from this fragrance is caviar, anything fishy or even anything salty. As someone has already said, I doubt you'd find those notes unless you were prompted and no one else I know who has worn this has detected anything even remotely suggestive of caviar. It could of course be that fascinating extra quality I sense in the opening - if so, then it is completely unrecognisable. Or perhaps that hideous ozonic reek is it - in which case I pity the poor sturgeon who was forced to spawn in a toxic waste dump to produce such a stench.

    Despite my occasionally unlucky experiences with this fragrance it has to get a thumbs up, because when it behaves it is warm, sexy and delightful company. I do wonder if some of those who have tested and disliked it might have had better luck on another day with this unreliable, wayward beauty.

    30th January, 2011 (Last Edited: 28th February, 2011)

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