Perfume Reviews

Reviews by Cedarmoth


Tuscan Leather by Tom Ford

You're in a (TF) tux doing a line (blow) off the leather armrest in the back of a Rolls (Phantom). This stuff smells like that (blow).
15th September, 2010

L'Eau de L'Eau by Diptyque

Transcendent citrus and spice. A brighter version of L'eau, it's conjures Christmas morning, after you've opened the present you really, really wanted from a lover who wants to go back to bed.
26th June, 2010

Tam Dao by Diptyque

Linear, but don't dismiss this soft treasure you've found in the back of your cedar chest amongst yellowed linens--a perfumed fist of wooly yarn.
26th June, 2010
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Gucci pour Homme by Gucci

Tom Ford and I are the same age. He had a crush on his uncle who smelled like this too. Yes, he wore gold chains and platforms, but he had style and a handshake that made your knuckles pop,
26th June, 2010

Rush by Gucci

I don't care what Luca Turin says, this smells like the bottle: red, plastic candy. I give it one star for how utterly bizarre it is. I'd sooner eat wax lips.
26th June, 2010

Halston Z-14 by Halston

I wore this before I had hair on my chest. Now that I have hair on my chest AND back, I can really wear it. Distilled testosterone.
15th June, 2010

Mugler Cologne by Thierry Mugler

If M7 is the one you shag by the fire, Mugler Cologne is the one you marry in spring.
14th May, 2010

Bois d'Argent by Christian Dior

A birch tree seeps honey on a cloudless September day.
29th April, 2010

Eau Noire Cologne by Christian Dior

Is that mulch in my taffy? Delicious!
29th April, 2010

Ungaro III by Ungaro

Your best friend's uncle dies. You go to the funeral because you are a good friend. You stand above the flower-strewn casket, now lowered into the damp earth. You look up, and cross from you, dressed in black and wearing a single carnation, stands the sexiest, silver-haired man you've ever seen in your life. This is what he smells like.
29th April, 2010

Eau d'Hadrien by Annick Goutal

You lost the lottery, but instead of stones, the Villagers bludgeon you with lemons and grapefruits. Sure, it hurts, but it smells good too.
29th April, 2010

Ambre Sultan by Serge Lutens

Fall on your knees beautiful. Smells vaguely of tapenade and cleavage.
29th April, 2010

Bigarade Concentrée by Editions de Parfums Frederic Malle

A very sexy monk eats a clementine in the forest.
28th July, 2007
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Chergui by Serge Lutens

The chaste and drunken sister to Sable by Goutal, Chergui is a spice cake floating on a cloud of sherry-soaked cotton candy, Chergui starts off Christian and ends up Pagan.
25th April, 2007

Eau d'Hermès by Hermès

Grace Kelly's handbag stuffed with Robert Mitchum's jockstrap. Pretty-dirty.
25th April, 2007

Terre d'Hermès by Hermès

An old shoe grinding a baby aspirin into a gravel road.
08th October, 2006

Lagerfeld Classic by Lagerfeld

The only scent I associate with my father. He died bowling.
18th May, 2006

Dzing! by L'Artisan Parfumeur

Smells like the neatly folded costume of a retired clown in an old alligator suitcase.
20th April, 2006

Timbuktu by L'Artisan Parfumeur

Roasted red peppers marinating in Indian spices at the bottom of a leather satchel abandoned in a church. Ugly-sexy.
04th April, 2006

Passage d'Enfer by L'Artisan Parfumeur

Could trigger flashbacks to alter boy trauma, but if you liked church, you'll love Passage to Hell.
04th April, 2006

Voleur de Roses by L'Artisan Parfumeur

Smells like sex between a vampire and somebody's grandmother. In a crypt. Totally intoxicating.
04th April, 2006

Frank No. 1 by Frank Los Angeles

Initially very interesting. Fruity and herbal top notes were compelling. Drydown was disappointing--too much cassis? What is that sharp, fruity note that radiates like poison darts from any woman who wears Allure?
07th March, 2006