Perfume Reviews

Negative Reviews of Joop! Homme by Joop!

Total Reviews: 98
Toxic Sludge!!!

Joop must have been dredged up from the Gowanus Canal in Brooklyn!! This toxic stuff is just vile! The most vile cologne I have ever smelled!! I was given a small bottle around 2000 for helping a friend of a friend move. Turns out she thought I stunk from BO, granted the hot, humid tropical climate I live in, no wonder!! If you want to cover up a BO smell with something just as vile then Joop is for you. Joop announces you long before you arrive and like a smoke damaged house after a fire, lingers forever. The smelll of Joop literally will fill an entire room, office or even night club! And linger long after. I honestly gave this stuff a try and each time it smelled like somebody puked cotton candy with cherry cough syrup. It's just so disgustingly sweet. It smells exactly like it looks!! To me it just smells inner city, ghetto and when mixed with certain peoples body chemistry or body odor it just becomes a bio hazard! It's for the young definitely. The sillage is a 10 and the longevity is a 10 and not in a good way.
16th May, 2017 (last edited: 18th May, 2017)
ten years ago this scent was forced on me by a workmate that wore it faithfully and it was used as his way of showering , very dirty man so for years after leaving that job it was Darryl that came to mind whenever I saw a bottle of Joop, well being the open minded guy that I am I thought I would buy a bottle to add to my collection and boy do I wish I hadn't.
It took me back to memories of dirty Darryl and I can't escape it, Is it the fault of the juice?, probably not but to me Its disgustingly sweet mixed with burnt wire insulation and this juice doesn't quit, If you want to mask a smell of some kind like, oh I dunno, death and decomposition then Joop is the one.
Other than that it's not even remotely bearable and should not be forced upon any of your workmates, that is unless you truly dislike them.
But that's just my opinion, your mileage may very but please, keep this stuff far away from me thank you very much.
05th April, 2017
Super sweet synthetic floral/fruity affair that seems to be a good match for a powdered drink mix. I would like this more on my aunt than on me. It does have very good potency, projection and longevity.
13th December, 2016 (last edited: 17th December, 2016)
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Wow. This stuff is rough. I obtained a bottle of the original formula (with 'Homme' above).
Blasting opening of cherry cough medicine notes. Nothing else. It's strong- but I maintained some faith for the dry down.
...Nope. Same smell two hours later, just with a little less nostril burn. I'm glad I tested this out at home with no one around. Especially the girlfriend.

Now, in all fairness, I understand that much of this frag stands on nostalgia- being an oldie and all.
I was too young (and fortunate) to experience this in its Hey-Day. But it seems that to many, Joop! Is a scent that hands out an old classic scent that reminds them of when they first started wearing.
So, despite some depth in nostalgia, this frag rates low on my scale based on raw physical scent. Off I go to wash this stuff off before she gets home.
21st March, 2016
Synthetic jasmine and cinnamon.
A cross between Alien and Le Male that does justice to neither.
Avoid and get Alien instead (or gasp Le Male)
07th March, 2016
BLUF: Well, the 3-4 hour mark of the drydown is tolerable…however, that is not a good enough reason to wear it. The rest of this beast, I cannot deal with nor understand. *Bottle I bought dated 2011.

Quick embarrassing background story: before I knew anything about fragrances, my girlfriend wore Angel which I thought smelled painfully sexy and amazing (I still do, that’s not the embarrassing part). After researching it, I found out it was hotly debated/controversial/etc.…so I sought out hotly debated/controversial male fragrances to see what I thought of those. This led to my blind-buy of Kouros, A*Men, and Joop! at the same time (turns out I like none, 0-3 that round). Whoever filled that order probably reported me to the government and now I’m on some watchlist or something.

Anyway, I don’t have much to say that hasn’t already been said, but here’s my two cents.

The opening, for me, is horrible. I assumed something must have happened to my bottle (prolonged exposure to heat, light, weapons-grade plutonium, etc.) it’s synthetic to the max. I totally get the cherry cough syrup comments; I’d honestly prefer to wear Nyquil. I know they list cinnamon in the opening, but I don’t get any until about 4 hours after application. When I first tried it my girlfriend did one of those cough/gag combos, her eyes watered and she said “Oh god, it smells the way it looks.” I think that comment speaks volumes and sums it up.

One virtue (probably a strong word) is that about 4 hours into this lurid affair, the cinnamon, patchouli, amber combo is acceptable…in the way that a cheap scented candle can make a teenage boy’s room smell better than it was before you lit one, but not necessarily pleasant.

Just because I don’t like a fragrance doesn’t mean I think it is garbage. I respect taking chances and being different, thus I respect Joop! And where it lies in the history of male perfumery, but I will never wear this one again (…never say never they say…). It’s now 125ml of potential swap material, but I won’t hold my breath…unless the bottle breaks, then I’ll have to :P

I can't do it, just can't rock the Joop.
04th March, 2016
Smelled like burning electronics. Literally. Maybe it just doesn't go with my skin chemistry but it was not a pleasant experience at all.
17th November, 2015
Cough syrup, cherryade and lipstick. Vile.
27th September, 2015

One of those fragrances is Definitely not for Everyone&Everyday and also One of those fragrances Everyone can Dislike or Like it.I Love oriental and Strong fragrances and Vanilla is one of my favaorite but this one is too Vulgar and Overwhelming.For me JOOP HOMME is A Loud fragrance in a Cheap way.

Warm,Deep,Horrible,Classic,Sweet, Aggressive,Distinctively Masculine with an Essence of Decadence.It is Awful from start until finish as The first spray make the inside of my nose itch and Give a headache too. The base notes are pretty better for me but totally It not at all what I Expected from a Heady and Special scent because I like this type of fragrances to be more Subtle and Classy.

This JOOP EDT is definitely a NIGHT fragrance that should be used careful and only 2 spray is all you need. It is also a potion of Seduction as Impressive for Ladies.Suitable for an INSOLENT mood in COLD weather.Anyway test it first because it is not Great on Everyone.

For me The only positive thing about it is Great Sillage and Longevity.

11th May, 2015
More potent than ricin, cloyingly sweet and with the structure of a blob of jelly.

Handle with extreme caution.

NBC suit and respirator advised.

This warning applies to the current version
which has homme written below joop on the bottle.
29th March, 2015 (last edited: 01st April, 2015)
I'm afraid to say that this is an abomination. Far too sweet, far too complex and far too strong. It reminds me of antiseptic. That said, I can see why it is popular with confident, young men (or women, actually). I picture a man in a knock-off Armani suit driving an old Lamborghini which breaks down every 20 miles. The kind of man who would sell his own grandmother to make a profit. The kind of joker who frequents Spearmint Rhino. In other words, a fake and a fraud.
28th December, 2014

I really don't want to waste my time reviewing this abomination for too long...So I won't.

29th October, 2014
Genre: Oriental

Some substances, most notably antifreeze, are at once sweet and toxic. Joop! Homme is one of these. There’s a list of appealing notes in the Joop! Homme pyramid, but I smell no analogs of anything natural in this scent. If someone proposed Joop! Homme’s formula for a toilet bowl cleaner, I might give it a second sniff, but I’d sooner live with a dirty toilet than smell like this in public.

Tell me, how does something like this get made? Why do morbidly obese men wear sheer Speedos?? Who thought the leisure suit was a good idea???
19th June, 2014
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I bought this cologne because I knew it was popular and I had yet to try it.. But wow, maybe im missing something because this stuff is just way too sweet and way to strong and thats only with 1 spray ! My girlfriend even said it smelled like old lady perfume and asked that I never wear it... Ill keep it for my collection but im NEVER going to be wearing this again

Only good thing I can say from the 1 time Ive worn this is it projects like a beast and lasts a long time so if it does mesh well with your skin chemistry it will be worth the price
18th January, 2014
A blast of sweet cherry strawberries that is intoxicating, and in a bad way.
20th April, 2013
One of the biggest bombs in terms of projection and durability that we can find in the designer market. Yes sir! If you want a sweet fragrance genetically manipulated that excel in nightlife settings, little massified ... it's your choice. I used it until I had a bad experience.
18th January, 2013
The worst fragrance ever! I can´t understand why someone would like to smell like this...
20th November, 2012
Sickly sweet.

If children wore perfume, this is what they'd wear.

1 All taste is personal.
2. Smell is probably the most subjective of all five senses.
3. Try before you buy. (On paper first, then skin.)
10th October, 2012
The most amazing fact about this fragrance is that it actually got made, marketed, sold and that it continues to sell!

It's so flowery, fruity, spicy and candy-like that my head just about rotates 360 degrees. Undescribable. Strange thing, I kind of like the smell of Joop as a thing in itself, but I wouldn't dream of wearing it. I'd feel like an idiot.
29th August, 2012
Somebody thought ladies might like it, but no. I'm a lady and I pronounce catastrophically repulsive.
22nd May, 2012
Wear this if you want to smell like a bottle of Rubitussin cough syrup.
10th May, 2012
Terrible, horrible.
Do not understand how anyone can want to smell like this...
This is not cool, its disgusting.
03rd April, 2012
I have only one good association with Joop! (make that Joop!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) Pour Homme. And that's because I really liked the guy who wore it, and he didn't bathe in it. That was way back in 1992. Is this now considered a classic? Please, just because it's strong and unmistakable and still around doesn't mean it's a classic. Pine-Sol is all those things too and I wouldn't wear it.
J!PH smells to me as though someone accidentally dropped a gallon of Hawaiian Punch syrup on a freshly tarred road in late August. I find it one note. One GIGANTiC note that never ends. I sprayed one squirt on the back of my hand two hours ago and it's still going strong. My head is swimming. It's like I'm being gassed by a giant tropical fruit eating skunk. I've given Joop! several chances over the years and tonight was the last one. It's simply ghastly. Now pardon me, I have to go and take a shower.
16th February, 2012
This one makes me physically sick and I don't say that about a lot of fragrances. I am very glad you smell it less and less these days.
22nd January, 2012
drseid Show all reviews
United States
One of the worst scents I have ever smelled. Sickeningly sweet and frequently over applied. This one should be thrown in the rubbish bin on sight... Disgusting! 1 out 5 stars.
01st October, 2011 (last edited: 27th December, 2012)
I just hate this fragrance, it gives me headache every time I smell it. A VERY sweet scent that projects and lasts forever!! Can only be used at cold weather, otherwise you will choke you and people around you.
21st August, 2011
No thank you! This stuff is not that bad but by no means is it good. It's an overly sweet cotton candy cinnamon concoction that even the likes of me can't tolerate. What's worse is that my dad loves and wears this religiously! The bottle, the pink juice, and the smell is far too overwhemling for my nose. I can't imagine how people felt back in 1989 when it was released. It must've been like The War Of The Worlds radio broadcast in 1938 that had many scattering about in panic and sheer dismay, except everyone back in '89 was male and running out of their local department stores! I will say that Joop is ballsy and has no respect for anything in its presence. Imagine an 80's powerhouse fragrance that is ridiculously sweet instead of the green or the woody! Yup! Joop is a beast! I'll even go as far as saying that it was the prototype to the gourmand genre. Without this unapologetic creation, there would be no basis for the creation or comparison of any other kind of fragrance in that same vein so I suppose even though I can't bare Joop, I'm entitled to give it that much credit. Maybe it was a blessing in disguise? Regardless, it's not for me and I don't think I'll be coming around any time soon. My final Rating C-
16th April, 2011
Oh, no. No no no no.
Oh my.
Just can't even almost like this one. No no no. Like really unpleasant women's perfume.
Oh no.
I respect the brave men who wear this, but oh no. No no no.
08th May, 2010
Because so many colognes fall in the gray area of "inoffensive but not wonderful", I give Joop! credit for being so obnoxious, despite the fact that it's obnoxiously bad. I've tried it multiple times, and each time had me questioning, "what was I thinking when I put this awful stuff on my skin?". The most recent (and hopefully last) time I put the stuff on, I tried scrubbing it off minutes later to no avail, which I suppose speaks wonders about it's longevity. Joop! is, of course, a very sweet and in no way masculine smell. It is also not feminine whatsoever, it simply falls outside of the spectrum of smells I would associate with a human being. Perhaps it's a great scent for a candy, but god knows it isn't for me. Musk, vetiver, cinnamon? I smell none of these things. It's dry down is significantly better than the blatantly offensive opening, but not enough to make this something I would ever want to wear.
14th April, 2010
This fragrance is one of the few that makes me wretch. Dont know if it's that candy opening, but ugh, don't get the attraction to this one.
15th March, 2010