Perfume Reviews

Negative Reviews of Sécrétions Magnifiques by Etat Libre d'Orange

Total Reviews: 56
This is gross. The smell up close nearly makes me nauseated. It doesn't smell like any bodily fluids I can't think of. I saw the reference in the previous review to a wet dog, and that's a better description than anything I'd come up with.

From a distance, it's not so bad, but up close it smells sickening. The nasty aroma chemical in this seems to wear close the skin. The smell from a distance and deep in the dry down is soapy.
03rd April, 2018 (last edited: 04th April, 2018)
Harborside at low tide on a particularly steamy August day!

I couldn't quite believe the information on this scent. If it is truly this bad, how can it be selling and how can Turin praise it and give it five stars?

However, it even excels its hype - it's so incredibly nasty that it may be the worst marketed fragrance I have ever encountered in 70 years of experience.

Intensely briney, salty and smelling of decaying crustaceans, it is truly vile, awful, beyond belief. Victor Frankenstein should have been stopped (just because you CAN, OUGHT you to?) in time, ditto the creaters and marketers - and praisers - of this scent.

Milk, blood, iodine? Surely, this was sign enough that the perfumer was mentally and ethically unstable.

Abominable and irresponsible - an insult to the art of perfumery.
02nd February, 2016
It is hilarious the amount of hate and hyperbole this fragrance generates. I guess that probably was ELDO's intention. I've read reviews for years and just on a whim decided it was time to pop my secretions magnifique cherry. I was expecting eau de crimescene. I was expecting used condom filled with spit and tampon and all the bodily nasties of the world. What I got was totally surprising. The opening is a futuristic metallic oceanic thing with coconutty, irisy nuances. I actually really really liked it. So much so that at first I was wondering whether it got reformulated or I got sent the wrong sample or something. Not to say it's not weird, it just has extremely contrasting elements that (with the aid of marketing and imagination) makes one imagine old spunk and hemoglobin. I legitimately believe that if someone were to smell this without the associations they would be much more likely to enjoy it. To me the opening seems to not be a literal interpretation of blood or semen or spit, but instead seems to be a perfumized version of those secretions, suggesting that they have inherent, perfumistic qualities. I feel like the opening is what Scarlett Johannson's character's spaceship thing might have smelled like in Under the Skin. Futuristic, sexual, and totally strange. Then cums the dry down. The truly awful dry down. My girlfriend said it smelled like dried cum (without knowing the fragrances concept..). To me, I got sour milk and nickels. Maybe it wasnt all just hyperbole... I think the inherently disgusting aspect of this fragrance is that these 'human' elements combine without any warmth or humanistic qualities. It doesnt smell like lovers in heat, it smells like a mortician extracted the fluids of a serial rapist and stirred them all together in a rusted metal beaker. Despite how terrible the drydown is, I totally enjoyed the experience of testing this and appreciate the audacity it took to make, regardless of whether it was a marketing ploy or not. I actually do still like the opening and will sniff it on occasion (the next time i'm craving the smell of sour milk and nickels), but i don't think another wearing is required. Ever again.
26th April, 2015
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numcks Show all reviews
United States
Piercing, shrill, putrid/metallic bilge/curdled/dried spit note floating on a base of relatively banal milky, powdery, sandalwood inoffensiveness. Like a stinky, crazy party crasher at a Daughters of the American Revolution tea. Interesting, edgy conceptual perfumery, but ultimately unpleasant to wear. The deep drydown does mellow the bilge into a fairly innocuous and reasonably well integrated iodine/saline seaweed note adding counterpoint to the sandalwood, but it's too long a ride past the landfill on the way there IMO.
29th September, 2014
Inoffensive musky-sticky-milky-calonic notes wrapped in a harsh bag of aldehydes. I approached this scent quite late, meaning that I've often heard about this one without having actually smelled it, and all the people who owned/used it said this was naughty, raw, animalic, truly "offensive" and provocative (those were people who actually bought this, so... well, no offense). So I expected something cool and challenging. Meanwhile I tested some other scents by Etat Libre and found basically no interest whatsoever in their fragrances, so when I came to this I was quite in a "prejudice" mood. And I was right, because well... this is it? This depressing tin can of aldehydes and randomly-assembled putrid aromachemicals should evoke "sweat, blood, saliva"? No. This is no way challenging. It smells bad, but in no possible creative or provocative way - just dull, boring, pointless bad. Not even that bad actually – more than bad it's a plain, uninspired, clumsy smell. Being provocative in whatever legitimate and credible way means to be able to structure your provocation and contextualise it into a more broad critical discourse – to use it as a tool, or as language. Doing random stuff like this is and giving it a meaning by mere marketing means is not art and is not provocation, it's just a depressing way to exploit a cliché - in this case, the "épater les bourgeois" cliché (and making money out of it). This said, as I said it's not even that bad or stinky - any obscure and cheap chypre from the '50s would kick this in the butt in terms of "animalicness" (or whatever effect Eld'O pretends to achieve). To me it smells more like if Antoine Lie found a disposal bag of Takasago waste molecules and – bingo!. I don't want to sound hateful, pretentious or offensive but personally it really saddens me to think someone really consider this "irony" or "avantgarde" or whatever daring stuff and is actually willing to pay for this.

11th July, 2014
Genre: Soft Porn

Mine smells better.

Sécrétions Magnifique hardly lives up to it's provocative ad copy or its puerile packaging. No semen, no sweat, no blood, and nothing animalic here: just a powdery, milky white floral composition garnished with an unpleasantly cloying note that smells of stagnant water. When I was an adolescent, my bedroom was host to over a dozen aquaria. They smelled like this when they needed cleaning. Achieves distinction only in being at once dull and repulsive.
02nd July, 2014 (last edited: 03rd July, 2014)
Had to try this because usually i like things that most purple turn their nose to.Wow was I wrong. This is the worst smell i have ever smelled.I am kidding you not it made me sick, it made the back of my throat cold like there was blood in it.Something in this makes me gag literally.I would say the closest thing is a really hot summer day, walk by a dumpster in nyc, but instead of being filled with garbage its filled with blood and body fluids from the local hospital. Pure filth.
17th May, 2014
I got this bottle as a joke, I wanted to blind buy a highly controversial fragrance and I ended up getting this one and Lutens Musc Koublai Kahn. When I first smelled Secretions i just laughed because i didnt expect it to smell the way it does. Its a cloying aquatic white floral that smells metallic and chemical, the fisrt representing blood and the second semen.

I wasn't shocked as I expected but the blood note is VERY disturbing on my skin and makes me wanna puke. And the worst thing is that it sticks to skin like nothing else. I tok a bath to take it out and it didn't work. It lasted all day long...

In the end you get a very bold concept and a highly unwearable fragrance. To gimmicky for my opinion

1 ouf of 5
23rd March, 2013
This is the most VILE and repulsive thing i've ever smelled.

Have you ever smell egg yolk on a plate thats been sitting around for a while? Or even worse, an egg yolk outdoors.

It smells like that, mixed with a dirty wet dog and metallic blood.

I bought a sample because it just sounded too crazy not to smell. At a night out, I and my friends popped it open and we each put a dab on. It smelled exactly the same on everyone. I thought i was going to vomit. Gag reflex kicks in within 6 inches of it.

My poor fiance was the one that administered this rancid liquid on our friends, and ended up spilling a little on herself.

Terrible, terrible stuff. Don't even bother wasting a even a few dollars on a sample unless your just HAVE to know what it smells like. But a coffee instead.
10th February, 2013
I truly had hoped that somehow the sexy, slightly-dirty, warm scent that I associate with a natural Man Scent had somehow found it's way into a bottle. Perhaps that is exactly what this is, but I can't help but notice the addition of a somewhat bacterial addition that may say "poor hygiene" but doesn't say sexy, to me. Or perhaps all it is lacking is the pheromones.
This smells like cat urine with a floral note on me. I put a tiny dab on my forearm, instantly took a shower in scalding hot water, scrubbed with scented body wash, applied different perfume on top of it, and still I'm plagued by this touch from the bog of eternal stench. Only now, it has ripened to reveal coppery, fresh-from-the-gym-man-underarm smell. With vetiver, but that may be the Florabotanica. Not the sexy man musk I was longing for.
I did mange to neutralize the scent with Lolita Lempicka, Coral Flower, so I could get some sleep. The next morning I awoke and to my horror, Lolita had dissolved but Secretions was still there. We lived with each other for the next 9 hours, despite additional washing, and finally, with another shower, we seem to have parted ways.
I am incredibly impressed by the sticking power of this scent! It has been an interesting day.
14th December, 2012 (last edited: 15th December, 2012)
I'm not very fussy when it comes to fragrances and I'm very seldom put off by something but this is an exception. There is something there, perhaps this so-called 'blood accord' whatever it is, it is unpleasant.

There is definitely an iodine tang combined with a salty and yes, slightly milky note. This all lies on top of a floral base. The combination is very strange and difficult to describe because it smells more like these things taste, not that I know how flowers taste.

This is weird and unwearable. It works very well as a publicity stunt.

One thing that I have to give this fragrance is its absolute tenacity. I really wish more fragrances could last like this does. I honestly had to wash and thoroughly scrub my hands several times with dish-soap and eventually resorted to rubbing it with alcohol and then spraying CDG Wonderwood on top of that. I am not exaggerating: this stuff is very potent. Do not get it on your clothes.

This is my first thumbs down and only the second fragrance ever that I've had to scrub off. It made me feel a bit sick.
16th November, 2012 (last edited: 23rd November, 2012)
This is the most disgusting thing I have ever smelled in my life. I smelled it in a department store on a dare, and I thought I would vomit, which seems to be the reaction of a lot of people. Why would anybody want to smell like this? Do people actually buy this stuff? ?
03rd September, 2012
Blood, rusty razor blades, dried semen (smells different from the kind that’s fresh out of the cucumber, take it from one who knows) – but masked by a cloud of something that’s screaming ‘fresh’ and ‘milky’ at the same time. The cumulative effect? To my nose, this is marine verité, seawater lapping in the docks with the whiff of all kinds of urban detritus and dead organisms, but somehow resolutely aquatic. Much as I appreciate the spirit of adventure, this is more than I can bear.
13th July, 2012
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Pure UK Show all reviews
United Kingdom
I read the hype, tried it and it turned my stomach. Its awful. Its the same smell as when you get a nosebleed, the metalic taste of blood trickling down your throat. When and where could you wear this???
It lasts forever aswell, shame Creed can't match its longevity!

Freddy Kreuger wears this in my nightmares!
27th May, 2012
"Secretions Magnifiques." I say: It's not quite as vile as "Muscs Kublai-Kahn," (I think i mentioned I vomited in the loo at B's when I tried this--i sniffed it on a mouillette and thought: "hmmmm---not so bad" (I love musk) then sprayed some on my wrist. By the time i made it up to the 5th floor I was getting nausea--and hadn't even the chance to get a fitting room full before I was nervously rushing off to the gents to try to scrub--scrubbing made it bloom--I then actually vomitted and had to get a taxi home!) The "Secretions," which is meant to smell like sperm, actually does: It's the strangest, bleachy-est oddest most bizarre thing I think I've ever smelled that is called perfume. It smells exactly like this: Lone Saturday morning you stayed in bed until noon and knocked out at least four, and, each time, just let your t-shirt soak up the results. Then, you got up without changing and went out to get buttermilk, got home, then, in attempting to open the carton, spilled it all over you. This is EXACTLY what "Secretions Magnifiques" smells like--(layer in a set of pent up blue balls--and you're there.) My question: Why ever would anyone want to smell like that? On the other end of the spectrum, "Rien," from ELO, actually has many merits which are remarkable, and worthy of the investment. It would be the perfect scent to wear were you going somewhere you knew any scent would be....frowned upon. (Where ever that is: I'm imagining perhaps an heavy metal concert: I don't know where I'll wear it--but I know I will--eventually.) Usually, I wear Molinard's "Patchouli" or CdG Zagorsk if I'm going somewhere like this--but sometimes I know I can't wear anything: That's where "rien" comes in. Carries its name beautifully. Actually, I quite like it--I'm certain it would be a good one in bed--this time not alone--applied very sparingly: However....I am imagining in this bed a somewhat sordid situation: Not in bed with your wife or girlfriend. In bed with...someone else. At any rate it would be difficult to find it unappealing. It hasn't the faintest "perfume" quality to it-- It truly smells like a very expensive, brand new leather jacket, that's never been worn, but at a level that is much, much higher than, say, a $1500.00 one. I once tried on a $128,000.00 alligator biker jacket at Hermes. Naturally, it fit perfectly. It was a dun colour--a greenish taupe. Of course, I wanted it desperately: So much I wanted to try it on bare chested--it was....that feeling: The wicked sensation that overcomes you, making you want it so badly you want to sleep in it....the memory of this immediately came to mind when I tried "Rien," and it only got more "natural." Daim Blond and all of the leather nonsense hocked by Tom Ford tries desperately to capture this fleeting desire--and it's precisely a noticeable lack of this marked effort that differentiates Rien. Don't hesitate to actually put it on skin. Concerning the matter at hand, "Secretions Magnifiques," enter here at your own risks and perils. Fearless sniffer that I am, I dove in. The results allowed me to offer the scabrous description above. I suppose........there is an audience for this......Where it lurks and of whom it might be composed, I can not intuit. Wank Booth Cinema? I'm at a loss......
03rd May, 2012 (last edited: 17th August, 2012)
I did not believe all the negative reviews, and I love some scents that others find vile. So, I took my sample and sprayed two sprays, one on each wrist. First impression: Not bad, I sort of liked it in a strange way. 15 minutes later I started to find that the metallic, dirty smell was becoming more obnoxious. A half hour later I could only think of some future spaceship, almost devoid of human life but with a skankyness of metal mixed with lubricant and ozonic metal. Something came to mind about metallic robots having sex. Never had those thoughts before...and this fragrance brought this nightmare to me. I had to scrub this off and almost nothing would get this off! I bathed, I scrubbed and I used everything I cold think of to get rid of this vomit inducing scent and after I did that I drowned both wrists in Black Aoud. Hope I never smell this one again.
31st March, 2012
drseid Show all reviews
United States
Hideous to the extreme is all I have to say here. I do not get blood or semen as some get... I just get a hideous milky metal accord that is absolutely repulsive, making my eyes blur, and is the first scent I have worn that physically makes me sick. I am wearing it as I write this and I really have to wash this off me... NOW. The sample I acquired was an experience that I will be sure never to forget, but I should have avoided it as others have wisely advised several times over. This one gets my vote for worst scent ever... What was Turin thinking in giving it 5 stars?... No way does this deserve any more than one from me!
15th September, 2011
It's disgusting and vile, and its sole purpose is to get people talking about ELdO. As a gimmick, Secretions Magnifiques succeeds nicely.

Simply put, metallic blood, milk, and bleachy semen is not what I wish to smell like.

Secretions Magnifiques is also a near flawless pretentiousness detector. You should avoid anyone who refers to this as a work of art or a conceptual statement. It's marketing, pure and simple, and obviously has worked.
05th August, 2011 (last edited: 20th June, 2012)
Wow. Vile and repulsive is all I can say about this one. One sweet, bloody, metallic concoction that literally made me gag upon smelling it. It is literally nauseating on me and I wanted to wash it off after the first 15 minutes. Let it settle for hours, but still was vile to me and basically because a oversweet, powdery mess that I could detect the blood and metallic components throughout.
14th June, 2011
First off, and to harness for a moment the devitalising effect of categorisation, Antoine Lie's Sécrétions Magnifiques is just a brazenly synthetic ozonic floral.

But you'll need to cling tightly to that reassurance, for over the breezy iris and mingled with the rampant Calone lurks a salty-metallic accord of villainously repellent character – an ill-advised medley of blood, semen, and coconut milk. The smell is ugly and mercilessly insistent and, at the risk of being obscure or fanciful, is freakishly close to the smell of penguins. I'm thinking back to Boulder Beach, South Africa and its colony of African penguins, or more recently to those cute and flightless birds of bray residing at the Tierpark here in Berlin. The overall effect is watercolour thin and yet briny, cloying and fetid all at once.

Luca Turin thinks the fragrance will prove seminal ('Mark my words: perfume will never be the same', NZZ Folio Duftnote August 2007). I'd suggest it's merely menstrual. If I had the choice between a bout of gonorrhea and a week of wearing Sécrétions Magnifiques, I'm really not sure which I'd choose. It does, however, make for good dinner party entertainment.
01st June, 2011 (last edited: 02nd June, 2011)
How to replicate the smell of Sécrétions Magnifiques:

1) Eat a bowl of cereal. Don't drink the milk.
2) Leave the bowl out on your kitchen counter.
3) After at least 10 hours, whether you left the house or not, go smell the bowl.

Now, I've certainly smelled worse things than Sécrétions Magnifiques, but I like my fragrances to be wearable, at least a little bit. More or less you have an "art" fragrance in the same vein as Christopher Brosius, or Nostalgia by Santa Maria Novella (gasoline). I can appreciate fragrances like these from an artistic standpoint, but I wouldn't wear them.

However, to each his own! You'll either love this or hate its guts.
02nd May, 2011
I suppose I could write a deeply insightful review that analyses the construction of this scent, but I'm not going to. Instead I will tell you all you need to know about Sécrétions Magnifique; It smells of wet dog.
28th February, 2011
Secretions Magnifiques Is like being slapped in a face by a raw fish it's the most revolting thing i ever smelled
is this a perfume or some horrible science
experiment that went wrong if you just
take a q tip and collect a scretion of a man's sweaty arm pit a pap smear and i agree to all of you's blood there's no
evidence of florals my gag reflexes
where through the roof this is the most
sickest thing ever!!!!!
03rd December, 2010
Once upon a time, there was a lovely, fresh iris fragrance, wich has happy with her talcy, delicate flower aroma over her sweet woody base. But one day she got really sick, died, and become a zombie. And then she turned to be the beast that we knew as Secretion Magnifiques.
You can percept, since you apply it on skin, the subtle flower and woody aroma, but burried in that it`s a chemical beast that will stick in your skin and your nose and will refuse to go away. This beast accord smells like dog vomits and spoiled egg that broke on the floor and stayed there for weaks. Be warned, this smell will not go away and you`ll not be able to completely remove it even if you rub alcohool at your skin aggressively.
If Devil wears a fragrance, Secretion Magnifiques is one of his favorites.
04th November, 2010
This is an odor, not perfume, plain and simple. Doesn't take a genius to make something smelly, if so, I am one too because the bottom of my garbage can smells similar to SM.
06th October, 2010
I just smelled a sample of this and it is truly the most retched thing I've ever smelled. I ran to the washroom because I had to wash it off before I threw up it was nauseating, my daughter took one whiff and ran for cover, needless to say this thing went straight into the garbage can OUTSIDE my house. Simply vile.
14th September, 2010
I really did try this with an open mind, realizing some people liked it. Well, it is vile! Blood, salty milk and iodine. My teenaged daughter took one whiff and declared, "I don't ever want to smell that again." And I have to agree with her.
29th July, 2010
shamu1 Show all reviews
United States
I don't understand what all the fuss is about this scent being daring, outrageous, etc., etc.. Sure it sucks, but it doesn't smell like sex or any of the byproducts of sex. Secretions Magnifique is a cheap smelling, sickeningly sweet and synthetic smelling floral mess, and that's about it. It literally smells like some 1970s shampoo marketed for women (Breck?) mixed with whatever chemical it is that gives aquatic fragrances their "marine" smell (Calone?). And that's about it. It's poorly constructed - it just smells like a bunch of individual synthetic notes sitting next to one another, with no real blending into a single accord - and just doesn't smell good at all. This wouldn't even be enjoyable as an air freshener.

Secretions Magnifique isn't a groundbreaking scent by any means, to my nose. It's just a shitty fragrance, that's all.

10th July, 2010
In a word - horrific. In the past, I've foolishly sprayed on garbage by the likes of D&G in stores out of boredom and then found myself desperate to get to the nearest wash basin to scrub it off but never before have I actually felt sick at the smell of a "perfume". Thankfully I only applied a small amount, just to give a night-before test to see if it would be wearable the following day. There's an odd sweetness at first before the blood and cum become more and more apparent. It's not an intense semen smell, more like somebody had ejaculated into their hands and rubbed them together afterwards. Just horrible and the worst part was, no matter what I did the smell wouldn't completely give in until the following morning when I scrubbed my wrist for the 4th time. To make matterseven worse, the only lingering aspects were the blood and jizz.

I love the rest of the Etat Libre d'Orange products that I've tried. Jasmin et Cigarettes is absolutely one of my favourite scents but this is just terrible. If you must acquire a sample to see what the fuss is then think very carefully before applying it to skin.
16th June, 2009
Olfactory rape. And my schnauzer flinched.
14th May, 2009