I know you'd like to avoid it (I sure would, most of the time) but it'd be way better if you could get a sniff ahead of time before buying. Because every one of these (excellent!) suggestions has the chance of missing on one of your criteria. Examples:
Creed Original Vetiver -- great, fresh, clean, balanced. And $130 for only 30 ml.
Dior Vetiver -- also amazing, invigorating, modern and classic at the same time. And $200 a bottle. (Which they don't even sell on their own website anymore, so good luck.)
Mugler Cologne -- I love this, I own this, I wear it more than anything else. But the people who don't like it usually think it's got that shrill, loud thing you say you don't like. I don't get this -- at all -- but many do.
L'Occitan Vetyver -- Smells great, is inexpensive, is easy to find. But if it hits you wrong (like it did me) it's just too much rosemary and thyme. It's a great smell, just not what I'm looking for in a vetiver fragrance.
Diptyque Vetyverio -- Another beautiful, fresh, green, balanced vetiver. But I find it a tiny bit too feminine for me. And that's just me. I wear other fragrances plenty of people think are feminine. There's just something about Vetyverio that doesn't work on me.
And so on. It's hard being patient. And you might not be in a big city, where trying everything on this list is possible. But if you're anywhere relatively near a modern mall, you should be able to get a try of Mugler Cologne, L'Occitan Vetyver, Givenchy Blue Label, Eau Sauvage, and maybe even Diptyque Vetyverio and Jo Malone. It's definitely worth the wait, and the avoidance of spending your money something you don't like.
Sorry to get all lecture-y. Good luck. =:o)