Favourite limericks

    Favourite limericks

    post #1 of 101
    Thread Starter 

    Taking a break from a tedious piece of work, I wondered whether BNers had any favourite limericks they'd like to share?My absolute tip-top star fave is the following:

    While Titian was mixing rose madder,

    His model posed nude up a ladder.

    Her position, to Titian,

    Suggested coition,

    So he climbed up the ladder and 'ad 'er.

    (boom boom)

    post #2 of 101

    Haha - thanks :)

    post #3 of 101
    That was a good one!
    post #4 of 101
    There was a young fellow named Clyde
    who fell in an outhouse and died.
    Along came his brother
    and fell in another
    and now they're interred side by side.
    post #5 of 101

    Lovely!

    post #6 of 101

    There once was a man from St Pauls

    who used to perform in the halls

    his favourite trick

    was to stand on his prick

    and roll around on his balls.

    post #7 of 101

    Haha!

    post #8 of 101
    Thread Starter 

    A swimmer whose clothing got strewed
    by breezes that left her quite nude
    saw a man come along,
    and unless we are wrong,
    you expected this line to be lewd.

    post #9 of 101

    Hopefully, nobody will be reading a thread of limericks unless it is expected!

    post #10 of 101
    A Christian Scientist from Theale
    said “I know that my pain is not real.
    When I sit on a pin
    and it punctures my skin
    I dislike what I fancy I feel.”
    post #11 of 101
    Thread Starter 

    There once was a Fellow of King's

    who cared not for girls and such things.

    His only desire

    was a boy in the choir

    with a bottom like jelly on springs.

    post #12 of 101
    There was an enchanting young bride
    Who ate many green apples and died.
    The apples fermented
    inside the lamented
    and made cider inside her inside.
    post #13 of 101
    Archimedes, that well-known truth-seeker,
    jumped out of his bath with “Eureka!”
    He ran half a mile
    wearing only a smile
    and became the very first streaker.
    post #14 of 101

    Haha!

    post #15 of 101
    There was a young girl from Rabat
    Who had triplets: Nan, Pat, and Tat.
    It was fun in the breeding,
    but hell in the feeding,
    as she found she had no tit for Tat.

    If deemed offensive please delete.
    post #16 of 101

    There once was a bride from Antigua

    Whosaidto her groom, "What a pigua!"

    He responded, "My queen,

    Is it manners you mean,

    Or do you refer to my figua?"

    There once was a girl from Madras,

    Who had a magnificent ass,

    Not rounded and pink

    As you probably think,

    It was gray, had long ears, and ate grass.

    I do have another, top favorite, but it is truly unprintable.:happy:

    post #17 of 101
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by hednicView Post

    There was a young fellow named Clyde
    who fell in an outhouse and died.
    Along came his brother
    and fell in another
    and now they're interred side by side.

    Ha! Thathas to be read aloud to be fully appreciated.

    Here's another:

    There was a young fellow named Hall

    Who fell in thespring in the fall

    'Twould have been a sad thing

    Had he died in the spring

    But he didn't-- he died in the fall.

    post #18 of 101
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by 30 RosesView Post

    There once was a bride from Antigua
    Whosaidto her groom, "What a pigua!"
    He responded, "My queen,
    Is it manners you mean,
    Or do you refer to my figua?"


    There once was a girl from Madras,
    Who had a magnificent ass,
    Not rounded and pink
    As you probably think,
    It was gray, had long ears, and ate grass.



    I do have another, top favorite, but it is truly unprintable.happy.gif
    That second one is cute!
    post #19 of 101

    10/11/13 at 1:54am

    lpp said:



    Haha - thanks :)

    10/11/13 at 4:42am

    hednic said:



    That was a good one!

    10/11/13 at 4:44am

    hednic said:



    There was a young fellow named Clyde
    who fell in an outhouse and died.
    Along came his brother
    and fell in another
    and now they're interred side by side.

    10/11/13 at 4:45am

    lpp said:



    Lovely!

    10/11/13 at 4:49am

    Russel said:



    There once was a man from St Pauls

    who used to perform in the halls

    his favourite trick

    was to stand on his prick

    and roll around on his balls.

    10/11/13 at 4:51am

    lpp said:



    Haha!

    10/11/13 at 4:52am

    saminlondon said:



    A swimmer whose clothing got strewed
    by breezes that left her quite nude
    saw a man come along,
    and unless we are wrong,
    you expected this line to be lewd.

    10/11/13 at 4:54am

    lpp said:



    Hopefully, nobody will be reading a thread of limericks unless it is expected!

    10/11/13 at 4:55am

    hednic said:



    A Christian Scientist from Theale
    said “I know that my pain is not real.
    When I sit on a pin
    and it punctures my skin
    I dislike what I fancy I feel.”

    10/11/13 at 4:58am

    saminlondon said:



    There once was a Fellow of King's

    who cared not for girls and such things.

    His only desire

    was a boy in the choir

    with a bottom like jelly on springs.

    10/11/13 at 5:00am

    hednic said:



    There was an enchanting young bride
    Who ate many green apples and died.
    The apples fermented
    inside the lamented
    and made cider inside her inside.

    10/11/13 at 9:51am

    hednic said:



    Archimedes, that well-known truth-seeker,
    jumped out of his bath with “Eureka!”
    He ran half a mile
    wearing only a smile
    and became the very first streaker.

    10/11/13 at 10:20am

    lpp said:



    Haha!

    10/11/13 at 2:43pm

    hednic said:



    There was a young girl from Rabat
    Who had triplets: Nan, Pat, and Tat.
    It was fun in the breeding,
    but hell in the feeding,
    as she found she had no tit for Tat.

    If deemed offensive please delete.

    10/11/13 at 3:50pm

    30 Roses said:



    There once was a bride from Antigua

    Whosaidto her groom, "What a pigua!"

    He responded, "My queen,

    Is it manners you mean,

    Or do you refer to my figua?"

    There once was a girl from Madras,

    Who had a magnificent ass,

    Not rounded and pink

    As you probably think,

    It was gray, had long ears, and ate grass.

    I do have another, top favorite, but it is truly unprintable.:happy:

    10/11/13 at 3:56pm

    30 Roses said:



    Quote:
    Originally Posted by hednicView Post

    There was a young fellow named Clyde
    who fell in an outhouse and died.
    Along came his brother
    and fell in another
    and now they're interred side by side.

    Ha! Thathas to be read aloud to be fully appreciated.

    Here's another:

    There was a young fellow named Hall

    Who fell in thespring in the fall

    'Twould have been a sad thing

    Had he died in the spring

    But he didn't-- he died in the fall.

    10/11/13 at 3:57pm

    hednic said:



    Quote:
    Originally Posted by 30 RosesView Post

    There once was a bride from Antigua
    Whosaidto her groom, "What a pigua!"
    He responded, "My queen,
    Is it manners you mean,
    Or do you refer to my figua?"


    There once was a girl from Madras,
    Who had a magnificent ass,
    Not rounded and pink
    As you probably think,
    It was gray, had long ears, and ate grass.



    I do have another, top favorite, but it is truly unprintable.happy.gif
    That second one is cute!