Je Reviens by Worth, 1932

I have hesitated and pondered over the daunting task of trying to do any amount of justice to "Je Reviens" with mere words: I was asked outright by a BN cohort to submit a review, to which I responded that it would take a novel to render all of its facets, all of the elements that make this one of the most unforgettable perfumes in the world. "Je Reviens" has few peers. It is one of those singular scents that nobody ever succeeded in imitating: It has its place among the greats--Joy, Shalimar, L'air du temps, one of those rare scents that can be conjured to perfection by memory. To begin, it is indeed a confusing assignment to even try to describe what "happened" to it. In it's day, it was a wildly luxurious fragrance, extremely expensive, and made only with the finest ingredients. Many reviews compare it to the chanel woman's 5. In 1932, the 5 would be considered sassy and common, even vulgar next to "Je Reviens." Charles Frederic Worth was the very founder of Parisian Haute Couture: In its day, his house was the grandest, and the greatest of them all. Though later created and launched by his two sons, its perfume division maintained a standard that was unrivaled in its time, untouchable even by Jean Patou himself, the Great Innovator. Witness how everything about "Je Reviens" goes against the vogues of the time: Here is the very essence of elegance, not remotely, not even faintly concerned with fashion. In 70 years it has known countless "incarnations," making its name all the more ironic. Translated by Worth in English as "I Will Return," "Je Reviens" means more specifically "I'll be right back:" It's a present tense, difficult to understand in other languages, least of which English. Perhaps "I am returning" would be the closest, though somewhat awkward, translation, and "return" it did: In steps, it disintegrated all the way down to its current incarnation as a two penny "sent bon" made in England. Somehow, though, its spirit has survived: When you smell it, even today, it's still "Je Reviens," and could be no other: The brightest, most resplendent thing. Even if the current eau de toilette lasts but an hour, there is an "air de famille" in it that is unmistakeable. It blows on like glitter, and brings a smile, a caress, an aura of cool, comfortable richness. It's an heavily organic scent, very much in the way a field of overblown casa blanca lilies would be: One is perplexed that it wouldn't attract bees to the wearer. What it does attract? Men. "Je Reviens" must be the sexiest perfume ever to be put on the face of the earth. We understand why Viagra is that shade of blue once we have inhaled "Je Reviens" on the nape of a pulsating neck, in the crux of a bosom: It's a fragrance that heats up and gets all moist and sweaty in the most delightful way. Among the fields and fields of flowers, there is dark, erotic resin in the earth from which they bloom. The sweat stained and breathless afterglow is so sumptuous that finally we understand why a dumb insect will just keep poking its sucker in over and over and over, even when the flower is spent. Those who truly wish to experience "Je Reviens" in all of its promise of unimaginable splendour must procure a vintage extract: The year does not matter as much as the provenance. It must be made in France. The real deal clearly states: "Made, bottled and sealed in France by Parfums Worth, 128 rue Saint Honore, Paris, France," and even comes equipped with a tricolour French flag. Ladies: Any of you lucky enough to be in possession of one of these blue lalique bottles, use it wisely. The spell it casts will see you keeping hairy beasts at bay with a whip and a chair. Gentlemen, slap some of this nectar of eden on the veins of your prey and witness the effect down under. Who would argue? If something has refused to disappear for this long, even barely breathing in the bottom of the bargain barrel, surely, there must be something magic in it, and there is. The positively lyrical "Je Reviens" could be as close to perfection as perfumery has ever come. A grand statement, yes, but very frankly, there is nothing in it, nothing at all, that is not absolutely, mouth-wateringly delicious.