Parfums*PARFUMS Series 4 Cologne: Anbar by Comme des Garçons, 2002

Its so long since I smelled 4711, I cant tell whether this one really does bring back those blue and gold splendours or whether my brain is just taking another of its fantasy-shortcuts to the conclusion : rank, over-emphatic cologne. Odd too, that Ive worn three mandarin scents in nearly as many days (Tarocco, Hespérides, and this one) and in what turns out to be a descending order of merit, for, though the CdG idea of making colognes with warmer components than usual triumphed in Vettiveru, the project clanks to an impasse here. This dinky orange is drowning in a recently disinfected bathroom bowl. The amber is pushed by the carnation and musk to a curdled opoponax and the citrus responds by turning hissy and cheap. Heartening, in a way, that something so misjudged could get past the corporate guard. Twee and repulsive, like a Komodo dragon in a pink cardie (you know those shocking pictures where people have dressed up their pets, well, like that). Theres an aftertang of cola too. How odd, and yet faintly appealing in the way a squint can be attractive. Anbar, so they say, is Arabic for amber; its also a province of Iraq, where stuff went on you dont want to think about when dousing yourself of a morning.