Welcome to the clinic...

SANCTUARY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ;D

I think this new side of the board is a good thing.

As a recovering alcoholic here, I am trying to understand my addictions. I have have been clean and sober for over 1 year and been doing better each and every day. I am proud of myself cause I made myself stop. I have the inner confidence now to know I don't want drink at all. I see others that are abusing and I'm so glad I have gotten it together. It's a terrible place to be when you are feel hopeless and you don't know how to stop when you know you have to. Sometimes it takes the threat of losing it all to do this but for some it's not enough.

The same can go for this overindulgence on scent purchasing. I can acknowledge here that I do have a problem with overindulging in stuff that I don't need.
I have done the same with clothes, the same with music cd buying as well. Even posting on the boards to me has been sort of an addiction for me as well. I'm compelled to come on and post about whatever I feel like posting about. Sometimes I know it's all not so necessary.

But through some of the boards, I have met some very nice people, online and in person. Some very good people. It has renewed my belief that people are just out to get stuff for themselves and don't give an RA about others. This I found out not to be true luckily.

I hope to deal with this problem very soon here as well. I am rethinking my buying habits. I still have an urge to buy something here. This is not good but I hope that maybe I can refrain from doing so, really.

Well, this is my experience.

Mando

Definately a place of sanctuary for me also. I,m very worried abot my recent spending...not only toiletries but dvd,s, books and god knows what else

I,m trying very hard to be disciplined about this, but it,s bloody difficult..oh well, at least i,m back to work monday

ED

yeah i have the same problem. I've blown alot of money because I work for tips and sometimes its hard not to buy something when the cash is burning a hole in your pocket.

I lost my previous job of four years back in November. It was a good job, but because of the malaise of the air travel industry, I was laid off. I got another job in January, and while I love the people I work for tremendously, It can be very streaky income wise. If I have a good day, I sock the money away, before i get the urge to spend it.

I am in the process of trying to move, and the whole thing is a chore, completely bereft of the fun and excitement that is usually present in a new place. Don't get me wrong, I love the apartment- Its just that the company that owns the building is bungling my approval process. Since it is a partially subsidized building, my income must fall within a certain range and I have to pass a credit check. Its been taking forever. the credit check came out OK. The only obstacle is my income level. I had to bring my check stubs in and fax them across the state to another office etc. They were trying to say that I earn like twice as much as I actually do, therefore I'm ineligible to live there. Christ! I'm a bartender/waiter/singer-songwriter- like I'm friggin rich or something. The rent at the new place is twice the rent of my current place, but its such a nice place and its in the city, five minutes from work. I'm picking up all the extra shifts I can and I've been working like a dog lately, saving up as much money as I can. I should get the green light tomorrow morning(fingers crossed) that I'm approved and can start moving. Its been a nightmare dealing with the institutional paperwork obstacles...

So in anticipation of my move, I've been saving money. No CDs, No scents, nothing! At first it was hard, but now I'm finally used to it. If I can pay off my debts and get ahead in my car payments, making the rent will be completely effortless in six months to a year, I hope. Now, I'm getting better at budgeting my money. I'm making less money than I was at my old job, but I'm spending less too. Its hard not buying CDs(I don't believe in stealing music via the internet), but there's not much out there I want right now anyway. I've been working on my own music lately; Thankfully, songwriting doesn't cost a dime. I played a show Friday night, and despite the lukewarm turnout(about 25 people in a Very small club not bad, but there were alot of no-show's), It was a good show. I've got something very original going on and hopefully soon, the right people will take notice. The club manager and owner seem to enjoy booking me for repeat performances and hopefully, I will get my next show reviewed in a local rag or two. Things are looking good on that front.

As far as scents go, I have a ton of them. I got a little out of hand in buying alot of them in the past, but its just a hobby like any other. My lack of money is actually good for my nose. I've been going back and checking out the scents I bought and forgot. I had some real sleepers that I wouldn't have given another shot If I was going to Saks every other week. I've really been able to appreciate the things I have and just relax a little. There are alot of things I want to try, but I've found that when you buy new scents less frequently, it takes longer to get tired of the ones you have.


Anyway, stopping all the spending can be a tough pill at first, but like anything, it gets easier with the force of inertia.

Indie Guy

This is a good thing for sure. I feel that this will help keep me in check. I have to be very careful about what I purchase. I feel that I may have more than I can ever use, and yet I still look for more. I do give some of my fragrnces away, which gives me a good feeling. I still must be very careful because I could go wild purchasing fragrances,gels,balms and soaps. I have been very disciplined in my purchasing and I must continue to be disciplined. This portion of the forum will help greatly.
Gary

All I can say is "Thank God for Basenotes, especially the Abuse Clinic."

Good luck to everyone else trying to stay within their means. I know from experience that it can be hard as hell to do.

Hi

I'm very new here (this is my first post). I got here in a very roundabout way.

I just wanted to say that I feel that this is a fabulous idea. my mother is a hoarder (if anyone knows what that is). it's hard to stay away from those tendancies for me. & one thing I've noticed at a number of other forums related to beauty/buying products is that everyone does egg each other on. they call each other 'enablers' & think it's funny.

and maybe it really is funny to some people. but it makes my stomach turn to hear people talk like that. I have very personal, first-hand experiece where that path can lead you. so it's not even remotely funny to me.

so I just wanted to say how incredibly wonderful I think this idea is & that, although I know next to nothing about perfume (though I have been reading here), I think the idea of this area is just so excellent & I look forward to being here. this kind of area makes me think that this is a really supportive, well-balanced site.

Welcome to the list!

Let me see, I have lost track of all the fragrance I've gotten since checking myself in. And today I ordered another one. I'm saving a lot on the Erolfa, but beginning to wonder if there is any resolution I'm capable of keeping.

:-[

I wouldn't suggest I have a problem in buying fragrances, but for the fact that money is in short supply.
Like one of the previous posters I could spend and spend on grooming products.

I sell them for a living and they are also my hobby.

I do get quite excited though at the prospect of John Lewis, Selfridges, or somewhere else that sell fragrances by the score. I can't help myself but go around sniffing this and that, feeling very conspicuous as I do it.

I spend hours searchinf for fragrances on the net and looking at merchandising, reading about the politics of the perfume industry and chemistry.

It may be an obsession, but I am happy in it.

Hi Indi Guy ;D
Living a parallel situation myself. Haven't lost my job but have found myself in more of a crunch than in the past. After inheriting a sum of money years ago, much of which was invested, I found myself in a position for a couple of years of receiving several thousand dollars each month above my meager paycheck. Not entirely a story of rags to riches but just a notch or two above. For a while, it was wonderful to be able to spend freely but never without that twinge of guilt lying just below the surface. Purchases were made without thought as to whether it was something I really needed. Every new fragrance that hit the stores made its way to my collection, only to find out later that all the hype was just that - hype.

Now that my income has returned to my still meager paycheck, much contemplation goes into each purchase and I have to say this is a more acceptable and comfortable way for me to live. I have my moments of relapse, but they are rare and usually during times of stress. I have spent hours on different sites placing items into the basket, only to go back and delete each one, which in some way is a form of therapy for me.

It is a feeling of pride to know I am capable of wanting something desperately but able to walk away from it. And it does force you to revisit the bottles you ordered in mass quantity with some beautiful jewels having been overlooked due to the onslaught of new arrivals.

For me, perfume is truly an addiction, acquiring a taste at the age of 8 and progressing from there. Having a sample of Yosh's Ginger Ciao and browsing through Lucky Scents last night, oh the temptation to send that little bottle to the basket. But, alas, I resisted.

As with all things -- one day at a time. Good luck with your living situation and your song writing. Sounds like you are getting noticed so just perservere with positive thoughts. ;D

JAG

What is "piss taking?"

JAG

To Indie Guy and everyone here at the clinic, thank you for sharing your stories. That's the way, indeed: discipline. My story is so similar, it's soo easy to overindulge ourselves, for some reason or another (or for some excuse or another), trying to obtain some sort of relief through shopping (fragrances, music CD's, whatever - objects don't talk back, you know). Sometimes, it happened that I disliked the fragrance I had just bought (fortunately, those were 3 or 4 occasions out of, say, a total 150 fragrances - I'm here at the clinic as well, remember), and in an attempt to "compensate " the bad fragrance, I would immediately go and buy a new fragrance that I would test and approve. This is my first visit; I have become aware. Now I know I need discipline, self-control, get myself together. I'll be back here if I succeed.
Jean, from Brazil

My perspective is a little different from those good folks above.

I am, by my very nature, a cheap, thrifty, frugal penny-pincher. Hubby and I have no debt (no mortgage, no car payments, already put our daughter through college). The thing is, I'm late in life to be discovering the thrill of shopping for, sampling, purchasing, and wearing fragrances. This is such a character departure for me, it leaves me conflicted: I enjoy spoiling myself and spending hours online reading about fragrances, but a part of me thinks I should be putting that $45 into our own IRA rather than Jo Malone or Stella McCartney's pension fund.

Even we Puritans find comfort in the EGFA Clinic. [Flogging myself with leather-scented ribbons.]

I LOVE this! Yes, a sanctuary as well as a meeting of similarly affected fragrance junkies (I thought I was the only one).

I have come to realize spending is often an unconscious attempt to fill my life with whatever it is I feel is missing. And our consumer culture eagerly supports our unconscious spending with many billions of dollars of advertising appealing to our sense of not being whole as we are. It's awfully easy to fall prey, so don't be too hard on yourself.

There have been periods in my life when I had no money. None at all. I had shelter, but little heat and sometimes, very little food (oh, poor me!). I became acutely of my desire to buy. Not having any room in the budget for extras, I necessarily learned to say "no" to myself. I think it's having that little extra in the budget that leads us astray . . .

Whenever I feel I'm spending too much, I remember how well I did when there was nothing (save a gift of LaCroix's "C'Est La Vie" from a family friend) and decide to be happy as I am in this moment.

Too psycho-babble?

Caleche this afternoon,
Miss Madeleine

<br><br>What is "piss taking?"<br><br>JAG<br>[/quote]

Basically, teasing someone or joking about their habit is not to be tolerated because this is a serious issue for someone.

I have many a time talked about my abusive ways towards fragrances. I am very much an addict and this board has let me express that with out other people passing judgement. I hope it never goes away and continues to help whoever is in need of it. I know I am very much in need of it and check myself in here all the time. I'm very glad it was created and thank you for the welcome....



Bruce^

I feel shame AND pride . . . set out the other day with the intent of getting some "retail therapy." I did not set a spending limit and that was unwise but the damage was about what I would have allowed myself anyway. Replenished my Guerlain Vetiver as intended but also splurged on Serge Luten Cedre (ah, beautiful!). The awful thing is I DO feel better. And this is what concerns me. I mean, I can't exactly talk myself out of "retail therapy" if it actually does makes me feel better about things. Next time (and there will be a next time, be sure of it), I must remember to limit the spending. Why does "stuff" make me feel better? . . .

It is official: I now think I own more juice than I can apply, without overloading, in my lifetime. It is the worst of times...it is the best of times.

Wow. And here I thought I was the only one... I cannot stop myself from "just looking" on eBay, and 8 out of 10 times, there will be some wonderful deal that I cannot live without... I just bought a bottle of Estee Lauder's Azuree Soliel from the Tom Ford days, and I adore it. Somebody stop me!!

Welcome to the clinic, molly2cats! This is a wonderful site, full of fun and fragrance. The only thing it's likely to stop is your wanting the kinds of things found at good prices on Ebay. I've got waaay too many bottles, and for some time now have been living my fragrance life out of a sample basket. It's fun to swap bottles and samples back and forth, too. I have about twenty bottles that make me really happy, and for a new fragrance to push her way in she has to be very special to me.

Very glad I've found this thread and discovered that I'm not alone in my "fragrance promiscuity".Over the past couple of weeks I've spent a lot of time scrolling through Men's Fragrances on eBay and cross-referencing what I see with Basenotes reviews looking to snap up obscure bargains.Like a lot of people I know,I find the everchanging marketplace of eBay and the thrill of auctioneering very compelling.Combine this with my newfound fascination for fragrances and the result is obsessional and,as with pornography,the anticipation is half the pleasure,distracting from the present.
I heard of a man who used to sit in bars and say "I'll be glad when I've had enough" and I guess that eventually the tide of compulsion will recede leaving me with a nice scent collection and a better-developed olefactory sense.
Searching out,buying,receiving and wearing fragrances can and should be a great pleasure,so I hope the discussions in this thread can help keep it that way...

Thank you for this thread. I love this. I do not want a huge perfume collection; I'd love to have a signature fragrance, but I can't stop wanting to sniff new scents. So, I have been trying to limit myself to buying decants and samples. I am also going to dabble a bit in mixing oils/making scents, maybe that will help me smell new smells without spending so much on botttles that I end up being ashamed of buying!

Welcome, ruby3, Samples are a great way to save money. My favorite are the sites that include free samples with each order. Hampton Court, Aedes, Lusciuos Cargo and Lucky Scent are some of the best. You can also just buy samples. Have fun. I have decided minis are unreliable. For some reason they are almost always inferior to the full bottles.It isn't logical because they should be used to encourage you to buy a full bottle. I think they are sometimes not even made by the same manufacturer. Crazy, huh?

Quarry, I'm very much in your situation. I never had a bit of interest in perfume until the last few months. Then -- it hit. I suddenly became fascinated by smelling perfume, wearing it lavishly when I'm alone, which is most of the time, reading about it -- and I'm now past middle age and I wear jeans and flannel shirts and hiking boots 99% of my days. I'm horrified when I see the amount I've spent on perfume recently, almost entirely on e-bay. (I did make an exception for Tabac Blond parfum, paying full price at the only store I know of that still has it in stock.) I know I'm spending "too much", but it's my one wild extravagance.

I'm finding it useful to list every perfume I have. The chart I've made connects me with the reality of my purchases -- and the list has other obvious uses, as I enjoy researching each fragrance. I haven't been listing the prices and the dates bought, but I may add that, just to keep me aware of what I'm spending. I can easilhy tell myself that a certain bottle on e-bay is an incredible bargain and quite rare -- it's never a huge amount. However, when I see the total for those little purchases, and forecast what the same amount of spending would add up to in a year if it kept on at this rate, I can decide it's time to pull back, hard.

My husband carefully avoids the subject, but he mentioned recently that I did seem to have quite a few bottles, and probably I didn't want more. I replied that he had quite a few bottles of wine, but he still wants more.

For now, I feel that perfume is adding more to my life that it's "costing" me. But, if it continues, that wouldn't be true.

Cornlily.

This clinic is something that I definitely need. A 12-step program would be more in order for me. However, I can almost always justify the "need" for a new fragrance(s). I agree with the previous poster who said more or less that they've pulled back, and are trying to appreciate those frags. they already have. There is truth in that. I can do that for several months at a time and then I feel the urge to order a large cache of scents, all arriving at one time (thrill/scary). Nothing is more exciting to me than ordering ones I've pined for for months.

I actually sought help with a psychiatrist for my depression, telling him up front about my "collection." It's funny, I asked him "how do I know this isn't just greediness on my part? Why do I do this when I know it puts me in dire financial straits?" He simply said, given what you've been through the past couple of years, you're simply trying fix the problem by doing something that makes you feel better." Duh! But, come on. I know it's excessive. It's like a compulsion. It could be worse, I realize. Something else more destructive. When I read a poetic description of a particular scent, it completely transports me and I have to hunt that scent down. I even have a "contact" in Braun, France who gets me bottles of Apres L'ondee because I can't find it in the states! The harder it is to find it, the more determined I am to get it.

Anyone else relating to this?

Sheesh!

Thank you all for your posts. I'm glad to have a place to say that I'm getting away from myself with this perfume acquisition stuff. After spending more money than I can afford in August, I've decided not to buy anything new until at least the new year. Lest this sound heroic, I'm still expecting a bottle of SL Vetiver Oriental in the next few days. I've got plenty to smell and think about, a little box full of samples, some of which I've smelled only once. I really want to be less restless, to sit still and smell and read and think about what I already have. Which really is so much. I just keep feeling that the next thing will be magic.

I remember now why I forced myself away from Basenotes a few months ago... After I joined last November (looking for just ONE signature scent to replace my previous signature scent -- how boring!), I went overboard with testing, gathering samples, and buying blind on eBay -- like someone starving who has been led to an all-you-can-eat buffet. Pure gluttony. And now that I've been revisiting the forum and browsing the directory again, I've gone on another fragrance-feeding-frenzy this month. I AM enjoying it, and I'm discovering some wonderful perfumes, but I have no self-control and plenty of justifications for buying "just one more."

Y'all make everything sound so good! (<----- weak attempt to shift blame)

I'm lost in a world of pure imagination...like willieW would say...

sometimes i don't grasp the concepts of self pity when compared with addiction, do i really do that? am i in need of help or am i whining too much?

is this part of my self playing with my conscience or is it a chemical imbalance?

Checking in... My biggest problem lately is resisting buying needless things on sale. I bought 4 fragrances from Costco recently that were good bargains, but only one of which I *might* have bought at regular price. And just the other day I found a load of CSP scents for $9.99 ($53 regular price) and bought one of each kind (Vanille Peach, Vanille Cannelle, Vanille Pitahaya). I would never have bought these fragrances otherwise, and in fact have been trying to get away from vanilla scents since I don't think they really suit me. But that kind of deep discount is absolutely irresistable to me. I'm actually resisting the urge to go to different stores to see if they have different CSP scents (I've heard that Matin Calin and Coco Extreme are out there). Again, I don't want either one enough to ever buy at full price. When I write this out it sounds so silly, but the pull is very strong. I don't know what it is. It's not like I'm planning on reselling these or even swapping. I just can't stop myself from taking advantage of such a good deal.

This would be fine if I wanted to be a true collector of fragrances. But the idea of my collection getting larger actually distresses me because I already feel bad about having so many that I don't use. It's ironic that my initial fascination with perfume was to search for a special one that I loved, and that would be made even more special as it became a part of my experience and memories. As nice as that still sounds to me, it is an impossibility at the moment.

Ok, so here's the deal. I have to post this so that I don't just back out like I've done many times. I'm going to try to go on a one year (yikes!) moratorium. Absolutely no purchases of any fragrance, or anything scented that I can use in place of fragrance such as body lotions, body sprays, oils, etc. What I hope to accomplish is to give myself a reality check. It will force me to take a really good look at what I have, and where I want to take it from there. I probably won't make it, and will cave in to temptation at the next big sale somewhere. But I'll give it a shot. I think I really need to. I also really need to stop or limit reading fragrance boards and blogs.

Hi there Plumeria! I just thought how much this reminds me of my case. I can't resist a good sale. Every time I spot something that seems like a good deal, and yes, possibly a nice fragrance I might like, I end up buyng it. Have spent a lot of money on such buys but the sad thing is that in the end I don't enjoy my purchases and end up giving them away. I've written about this on the other thread - I've made a New Year's resolution not to buy more than 3 perfumes next year. I really hope I will not fail because I'm worried about my obsession (and possible financial ruin lol). It would be maybe helpful to write about the experience of not buying and in such a way to help others stay on track. So, best of luck to you in sticking to the decision not to buy anything scented.
Another thing that I find helpful is changing my understanding of what I want in a fragrance. I've read a few articles on the actual cost of perfume made per bottle these days (this was about mainstream, department store brands and especially celeb perfumes that are getting more numerous every day) and the way that perfumery is losing on quality. I've decided that it really would make sense to save up and buy a couple of really special bottles, perhaps as a reward on special occasions such as birthdays or anniversaries. The more I read and learn about these things the less I am inclined to buy cheap stuff. Maybe you could do something similar in order to establish what you are looking for in fragrance and to set the boundaries of what is truly desirable to you.
I also agree that staying away from certai forums and perfume blogs would help. This clinic excluded of course!
Best of luck and hope to hear from you soon.

Hi Frenchie! I'm glad that someone else can relate to this sale madness that comes over me. The funny thing is, of course, that these great deals and bargains are really anything but. As you said, this adds up to a lot of money for things that don't truly make us happy (I too have given away many fragrances). Sadly, I am fully aware of this...these very thoughts were running through my mind as I was grabbing at those CSP's...but still could not stop myself. I must admit though that if I didn't have such a backlog and history of unwise fragrance purchases, I probably would be patting myself on the back for such a good find. Hmmm...see? Even now I can't completely convince myself that I shouldn't have bought them...hence, the moratorium.

Good luck on your New Year's resolution! It's a great idea because you have those 3 purchases to look forward to, and getting each one will feel like a special event. In order to keep motivated, I'm considering allowing myself a reward at the end if I am successful. Maybe I could buy a few fragrance items that I have been wanting for years, but have been denying myself due to size of collection. Yes, that might work!

Hope to see you from time to time here

I really have been sticking to buying on holidays and during the changes of seasons, but totally understand what you're saying about sales, because I cave on those and end up with things I don't really like trying to "save" money and I just end up wasting it! It's very upsetting. At least I can return the last two because I ordered samples with them, found out I disliked them, and never opened the packages. That 25&#37; off sale at beautyhabit was killing me and I ordered two at the eleventh hour. lol

I also do that on Ebay, then I end up with something for the special occasion that's stale or I don't like it. Waaaagh!!! Well, with all this trial and error, I am learning better what works for me and was thinking about sticking to one line I like for a while, so my bottles look nice and organized. It will also eliminate ending up with things from houses that aren't so nice for me, by mistake. Also, making that decision makes the other ones that pop up on sale not as attractive, if that makes sense.

Beachroses, I've gone through a lot of trial and error too. I hope I finally learn not to repeat those errors. Now that you mention it, I realize that one fragrance house in particular has been very good to me ~ Annick Goutal. I own three of hers and love them all (Eau d'Hadrien, Eau du Ciel, and Eau de Camille).

Annick Goutal, that's what I was referring to! I've sampled quite a few, but don't have any yet. I'm going to get one for Christmas. There are a couple of other lines I like, too. I think I will be happier simplifying things for a while. It was making me feel scattered, wasting money and taking up a lot of time.

That sounds like a great Christmas gift for yourself! I always thought I would expand my Annick Goutal collection, but there were so many other distractions. The goal of simplifying is very attractive...hopefully I can stick to my no-buy.

Everyone is different, some people love to collect and get a lot of joy from having so many kinds to choose from. I am the complete opposite and having things around I'm not using upsets my sense of serenity and my husband's too. I feel comfortable with this approach, it gave me a feeling of calm as soon as I decided. I hope you can stick to your no buy, if that's what you need to do! I bought one bottle last spring and then none the entire year, except as gifts for other people. Staying away from perfume boards helped, too.

Hey Beachroses, I feel exactly the same. I don't enjoy having a big collection, it feels like a burden to me. I've given away all perfumes that I don't truly like and my collection is now smaller but is comprised of perfumes that actually suit me and that I enjoy. I'm really looking forward to the New Year so my resolution about not buying becomes 'official'.

We're getting back to simplicity in everything around here and the New Year is going to find me clearing out my closets, drawers, bookshelves, already did the kitchen! We don't use or enjoy most of it, anyway, the thrift store runs a local charity and they could use the items, too. I have sewing supplies that are so old, the thread just falls apart, do I need that? lol I don't even sew anymore, anyway, so all of that will go in the trash along with my bottles and samples of old stinker perfumes. I feel liberated just thinking about it!

Staying . . . away?

Hello and Cheers to all my addicted soul mates! Ernie Gallo here, back from the vats of scented delights to welcome any and all to rid themselves of the guilt. Are your chage cards out of control? spending way too much and never finding the holy grail of scents?
You are not alone! I hear, feel,and smell your pain. My backup bottles are growing, as well as my boxes and drawers of vials. It's all good!! There can be far worse addicitions as we all know. My reward and advice is to start giving some bottles away. I've pleasured so many friends and relatives by bestowing many of my "old favorites" and back-up bottles, as gifts.
It allows me to justify buying some more new ones and the rewards are the many thanks I get when they open the bag and smile.
One good word of advice, and it took me years to learn...narrow your seletion down to 5 top shelf, can't live without scents. Wear them often and develop your own unique signalture.
Ive passed up many new"trendy" and costly scents,and just replenish my stock of my fave five.
The years of addiction have taught me to wait...don't jump for the newest and hottest scent, because there will always be something better on the horizon. The market is saturated, and it's time to put your foot down, and nose up!
My fave 5 the past year are... Acqua di Parma Intensa and Assoluta. Bvlgari (original, extreme, and the new Aqua Marine) Red for Men ( yes it is back and distriburted by Elizabeth Arden) Dolce and Gabbana The One, and Light Blue.
I still maintain my collection of Creed, as they will always hold a special place in my heart.
NOW TELL ME..WHAT ARE YOUR FAVE FIVE YOU CANNOT LIVE WITHOUT>>??
Keep Spritzin' and keep postin'!

My sincere thanks to GRANT for his loyal and dedicated efforts, all these years, to the basenotes dynasty. We are all here to stay!

Scentcerely....ernie gallo ~vialman~

'Kicking the habit' of overspending and obsession is a drawn out, desolate process - but I must ease the strain on my finances! Always a perfume lover, I have kept at least 10 perfumes since I was 15 - and now at age 57 my collection is massive! I have had to just stop cold turkey due to finances in the last 6 months - and I believe it is causing a depression! Any advice? I have been 'shoppiing my closet' when I have the urge to buy something new. I always find something I haven't worn for a while, or even unopened boxes (not backups!) but try to resist opening more bottles till I have emptied a few. 3 last week! A boost for my 'program'. Now if I could just get over feeling sad....

reine

Well I think i've got some problem buying too many frags (for the money i earn monthly i mean). I think i'm always like that, when i start liking something, i become obssessed with perfection and getting a good collection. You know, i look for something that nobody has, or buying the best parfums we can find...

I believe that the best way to kick this habit out is to become more demanding, more critic, maybe in a Luca Turin way or something. A few months back i liked almost any good frag out there, now the vast majority feel weak and mediocre to me, so i only want to buy the great ones. In my city is very hard to find "niche" so one less problem. And I've developed a perk: if a frag is expensive it has to be waaaaaaaaaaay better than designer ones... something that, after testing some niches, doesn't happen often.

Very well said Postumo. Especially on how it helps to become more demanding and a critic.

Also, decants make a huge difference. Spend some time sampling and you will realize a few things about a particular fragrance.

When is enough, enough? It seems - NEVER.
For the last 2 years I have spent too much on perfumes. It was mainly the search for a signature scent, thus trying and spraying various groups and categories in department stores - collecting samples and miniatures on line ...
Sometimes captivated by just the image and description and the illusive feeling that a beautiful scent is trying to evoke - sometimes rebuying past memories ...
However, the quest is pleasurable - just like trying out various restaurants which would amount to about the same money spent ... but the restaurant experience is over, and my friendly bottles are still on the shelves, enough to last a lifetime.

There is a difference however to other addictions. Recovering alcoholics have to apologize and make amends. I don't feel sorry and as a remedy to overdoing it, I can always give my overflowing "inventory" away - as gifts for various occasions. The recipient will be flattered to get something so personal and if the gift is a hit, then we are both happy.

The only one to keep me from spending - on perfumes or otherwise - is myself. As long as savings and investments are diligently put on autopilot - what harm is there in a little indulging - and to savor the beautiful fragrances ...

wrong forum sorry.

Hi everyone,

I thought it was time to check myself into this Clinic, and I'd love it if you could offer me your support. I've just read through all the previous posts and can relate to so many of them!

My story is this: I have loved perfumes from a young age, and have owned many over the years, but I didn't really know or care why certain perfumes appealed. I just knew what I liked. I had no idea about perfume history, collecting, different notes, categories, critical reviews etc.

But then, a couple of years ago I came across a copy of "Perfumes: The Guide" in a bookstore. I was totally fascinated by the articles and reviews which displayed the authors' deep knowledge of fragrance genealogy, perfume history, the science of smell and key players in the fragrance industry. I learned that it was OK to collect fragrances (if stored correctly), and that they could be appreciated and analysed as works of art. At that time, I'd only experienced a few of the ones in the book... so here began my quest to get educated on this fascinating topic! Firstly, I felt an urge to own or at least sample all The Guide's highly rated fragrances, so I could work out why they were considered to be works of art, what they were supposed to smell like, and how they were connected, eg. by genre, perfumer, or key novel ingredient.

Another influential book was "Feminine Fragrances" by Michael Edwards: of course I wanted to own every single featured fragrance!

An additional collecting driver for me was a desire to re-obtain examples of older fragrances that I had owned/smelled/worn when I was younger. To smell again them after so many years was such an amazingly nostalgic experience! This then led me to a general interest in vintage fragrances and their marketing imagery.

Several more books and hundreds of fragrance purchases later, I can at least say I know a lot more about this topic that I did before, and more than anyone I know in real life. And I should be happy and content with my current collection. BUT my desire to acquire yet more fragrances is something that I am finding very hard to control! The thrill I get from monitoring eBay for highly desirable and hard-to-find scents is at the core of my problem. I would love to be able to just close my eBay account... but I have so many transactions currently in progress, that's not possible right now.

I keep telling myself that there are just one or two key classic fragrances that I still need to buy in order to complete my collection, and then I will stop. However I know deep down that the urge to keep hunting will continue, and the list of potential 'must haves' endless.

Why and how did it all get so out of hand? Too much time on my hands and a lump sum from a redundancy last year. I try to rationalise my behaviour by telling myself that I am only spending what other people in my situation might have spent on a trip overseas, renovations or a new car/computer/face. But my spending has now gone beyond just a splurge, and become absolutely unsustainable.

I'm not generally an addictive personality (I don't drink or smoke) but I do have a tendency to over-indulge in material posessions. My mother is a hoarder (and her father was too) - so I think I am dealing with a 'hoarding gene' :-(

missveronica9

I have read all posts here before I type mine... Fortunately fragrance abuse won´t kill us, only our bank accounts are on stake here. One thing I did to basically help me with compulsive buying was literally doing tests on how many milliliters a day one could use of perfumes, based on that I realized that I can only something around 600ml a year, so, if perfumes last more or less 3 years in its original condition, we can only have 18 bottles of 100ml at any giving time before they expire. My limit is 18-20 perfumes, so anytime I finish one, I can replace it for another one. I have found that is far more expensive buying samples than full bottles, so I rather invest in full ones based on what I read here, or what I am able to smell on stores. Besides in my opinion is very hard to judge a perfume with one sniff, like it is impossible to judge a dish with only one bite.

In my case is just a matter of pure delicious hedonism...

I have recently started attending a councillor. So I mentioned my perfumes etc and was asked to make a list of every one of my bottles. I did this and brought it with me, next visit I sat down and facing me was a sheet of A4 paper with cartoon bottles of perfume on it and an amount of money. I ignored this and after talking for awhile the councillor as did I know what the sheet of paper on the wall was? No, I said. Well that is the amount of money you have spent on perfume. £19,485.00. He asked what did I feel looking at this, I said, "Nothing,should I ?". He was totally horrified at the amount of money. Telling me he had someone go through my list and price each bottle. Did I know one bottle was £184? Really I replied, well actually Nuit de Noel extract is £188 currently to buy. But I have never paid anywhere near that, infact I got my bottle for £60.

He inquired about my selling my collection? To be honest I was thinking go F**K Yourself! But said well they are all opened and used, so only ebay really. Then mentioned about fees for listing and per centage taken by ebay from sales. Then paypal takes their cut and also its actually illegal to ship perfume because the alcohol. Oh and ebay you can only sell a certain amount you have to pay and because a business, plus the taxman would be notified for that amount of money.

Now I have cut down on buying big time, due to lack of funds etc. Recent five bottle maddness due to SpaceNK sale and Honore des Pres going for £12 a bottle.

But the councillor is seeing my buying as some sort of personality disorder!!!!! I am not sure if he thinks I just ramdonly wander and buy every bottle I see? Er, no. Each and every bottle has been carefully considered over the years.

Ernie I need help.

Hi Donna,

I know exactly where you're at! Over a year ago I went to see a pyschologist for a totally unrelated work issue and when I mentioned my perfume collecting, her ears pricked up and she also tried to turn it into some sort of disordered behaviour. I think she imagined that I was going into shops and compulsively buying multiple bottles of fragrance that I didn't really want. It me took right up until my final session before I could get her to understand that I was actually researching the different perfumes, searching online for bargains - and in most cases treasuring my acquisitions.

I have spent a fair amount of money to date, but there have been only a handful of purchases I truly regret. It's nice to think that our collections are worth a lot more than we paid (if we were actually able to sell them). Part of the pleasure I take in my stash is showing it off to friends, and being able to provide information about the different fragrances and why they have significance in the history of perfumery. I also like to be able to say "this is worth about XX, but I got it for only X!".

Here in Australia we have a TV show called "Collectors", which each week features a variety of people who collect all sorts of things from the usual antiques to beer coasters to false teeth. Many such collectors spend all their available money on collecting, but the show never derides them: it celebrates their particular passions.

Donna, I just think we have the "collecting bug", which is not abnormal by any means: it just happens to be for items that most people would dismiss as ephemeral toiletries.

It has been several months since my post above, and I am happy to report that I have substantially reduced my spending on perfume without any particular intervention. I compiled and continue to maintain a detailed inventory of all my purchases, which helps me remember what I already own (so I don't accidentally buy the same thing twice). Another thing that helped was having a loose list of particular wants, so eventually I was able to tick off each item. So for me there is now a sense of completeness about my collection. By the way, I have found it useful to hold onto purchases that I was only 'so-so' about, because in the past when I gave away such bottles, I later felt a sense of loss and eventually re-purchased them!

I avoid getting caught up in forum buzz about new releases, because I don't want to be paying full price (and I tell myself they're probably just variations on things I already own). I still monitor eBay, and I watch a lot of interesting bottles, but I only bid on items that are bargains AND that I would actually wear. In the back of my mind I keep reminding myself that there's no point getting bargains just for the sake of it if I'll never be able to re-sell them.

Another thing I found is that my obsession is running out of puff of its own accord. I have developed a few other non-perfume interests (unfortunately still involving spending money on eBay!) and every day I think less about fragrance. I'm seeing light at the end of the perfume collecting tunnel!

Hope this helps
missveronica9

Personally, I think the counselor needs a little help! He has jumped to alot of conclusions without really providing any insight, possibly not even understanding himself.

If each and every bottle has been carefully considered, and you are not using money that is needed for the basics of life and you are not ruining a relationship that you are invested in - I think you sound totally fine We all need an obsession or two, if kept under control, to break the monotony of everyday life. I think so anyway!

Think of all the $ you are spending on the Counselor!! Don't be too hard on yourself. I recently came to the conclusion that I really have everything I love and just don't care for any of the new stuff. I have had quite a few disappointments trying new things so I finally quit. Now I just trade samples. If you back off your future spending you could do something similar and just enjoy what you have.

I agree with cello...unless you specifically went into counseling to curb your perfume spending habit, or you are facing bankruptcy- (in which case a financial counselor is probably available from a non-profit organization) I don't see how adding up the retail value of your scent wardrobe is useful to you.

Oh, Donna, I do empathise. For non-fragrance lovers the collections do seem excessive, but for us they seem reasonable and joy-giving, even sustaining in times of stress and sadness. I wonder what the counsellor collects as we are talking collection here. I myself do not understand collecting stamps, wine labels, beanie babies (just unfathomable, what were they thinking?)

I find it nervy that he had someone price out your collection. To be so critical of someone else's passion seems more a personality disorder than collecting could ever be. It does not qualify as hoarding as perfume has value and is useful unlike the hoarders I deal with who collect used tissues, styrofoam cups, and some things too vile to mention here. If it were me I'd find a counsellor who could stay on topic and not "go places" that do not address my concerns.

No kidding. I saw a guy on a 'Pickers' episode that collected trains. Not toy trains, real entire train engines! Now that is an expensive hobby!

Must be nice to be able to afford train collecting!

But I find too many people have this attitude:

Collecting what I collect= Normal and even admirable, a sign of good taste and intellect

Collecting other things= questionable at best, maybe even pathological and in need of an "intervention"

But perhaps useful if you are considering insuring your stash (looking for silver lining)!

Hello. Thanks to all who have shared their experience and ideas. I wanted to share a few random thoughts about collecting and perfume. And speak up in defense of samples. I apologize if I'm in the wrong forum

1. There is an interesting book I read called "Collecting: an Unruly Passion" by Werner Muensterberger. I thought it intriguing and enlightening. I read it a while ago and I thought it gave some interesting anecdotes about why people collect the things they do.

2. As a novice perfume enthusiast (I prefer using the word Cologne or maybe Scents, to perfume, actually) I was impressed to see a photo of a basenotes collector: whole bottles on a bookcase and the top of a dresser! I would love to visit him and his collection someday.

For now, though, for me, I am keeping a scent journal (diary), listing what I wear, what I have and what I would like to purchase. I have splurged on samples (about 15-20 at a time) from both luckyscent and the perfumed court. Yes, the price per ml is a lot higher than if you bought the whole bottle, but I am happy with the samples. Some I don't really like. Some I'm not sure about, and some I love. I have bought one 100ml bottle so far. Even though I have another list of samples I want to get, I still need to "digest" the ones I have. (I've also purchased samples on ebay).

3. I have learned there are many mediocre scents. (I don't happen to like Usher's VIP because it smells dense and typical, nothing stands out for me). I am so glad I didn't buy a larger bottle. I've also purchased some mini's on sale (Calvin Klein, David Beckham) and have decided I am more curious about the niche lines (the stuff carried on luckyscent, for example).

4. Based on #2, I've decided I will try to figure out how to display the vials I have. Only 50 so far. One woman put them in ziplock bags in a card file. I am leaning towards the laboratory vial holders (if I can find out if they are the right size for these 1ml vials) or I might drill holes into wood and make myself a display. I am not embarrassed by all the vials I have, and decided I might as well display them proudly. I am deciding between displaying them by size (some vials are 5/16" in diameter, and others are 21/64" or larger), or alphabetically (by house or by name?)

5. "Fragrance promiscuity." I'm trying to figure out why I am curious about new scents if so far they alwaysreturn me to my favorite (Profumi di Pantelleria's Maestrale). Why do I instantly want to smell something if it is described as "freshly baked bread?"

6. I realize I could save money if I went to sniff scents in stores. But I like having a tangible vial that I can wear several times before liking it.

Thanks for sharing experiences and ideas. I think I am afraid I don't know what I'll do when I find more scents that I love. For example, I am really liking Amouage's Jubiliation XXV. Once my little vial is gone, what are my options? US$290 for 100 ml or $US 250 for 50 ml, not much choice really. I can see where this could lead. . . .