SA: Have you tried the new Kenneth Cole Black (that's the one they're pushing right now in Germany)?
Me: Yeah, and today I wanted to celebrate that I can smell again. Where are the Guerlains?
SA (looking puzzled because a guy is trying Flowerbomb, ON HIS ARM!!): Err...Hi! Are you looking for a fragrance for your girlfriend?
Me: No, I just wanted to smell it on my skin.
SA: But you do know that it's for women?
Me: Yeah, sure, thanks.
SA: But it's really very feminine.
Me: And so am I! (making very "gay" movement with arms)
It took the SA about thirty seconds to close her mouth, then she left without saying a word.
Usually, I'm the one asking the "stupid questions", because that's my job. I should add that most of the customers questions are a lot more stupid. Here are my favourites. All of them are 100% real and were asked in the last three months:
This is the best one ever:
Customer: I'm looking for Exorcist.
Me (SA): Excuse me, you're looking for what?
C: Well, Exorcist. That one by Chanel.
Me: Or are you looking for Egoiste?
C: Yeah, whatever...
Customer: I want Armani by Givenchy!
Me: Well, there's Armani and there's Givenchy...
C: No, it's "Armani" by Givenchy. I got a sample in my pocket.
Me: May I see it?
(Of course, it's Amarige...)
Me: Oh, you're looking for Amarige!
C: That's what I just said!
To understand the following, I should mention that we have bright orange "NEW!" signs on our shelves, you know, for new fragrances.
Me: Can I help you?
Customer: Yes, I kinda like this "New!" by Givenchy (pronouncing "New" in an awful german/french/rubbish way)
Me: O.k., which one, Blue Label or Very Irresistible?
C: No, the one that's called "New!"(omg, she said it again)!
Well, she liked the new Duty-Free only fragrance by Givenchy "Only Givenchy". But I'm quite sure she still thinks it's called "NEW!"
Customer: I'm looking for Background by Jil Sander
Me: I'm sorry, it's discontinued.
C: O.k., I'll fly again next week. Do you think it will be in until then?
Me: It's not sold out, it's discontinued. That means you can't get it anywhere.
C: I understand... ... ... Are there any other perfume shops here in this terminal?