Ever wonder if TV newscasts did fragrance forecasts to accompany their weather forecasts? Here you go! (Note: this is to be taken as parody, although the anchors mentioned are real Chicago TV anchors, albeit for the city's last-place newscast, and the areas are real.)
START (to the tune of boring Frank Gari/615 Music/Stephen Arnold-produced news music): Now, the news on CBS 2 with Diann Burns...
(15 minutes later after weather)
DIANN BURNS: Antonio Mora is standing by at CBS 2 Fragrance Control. What's the scoop, Antonio?
ANTONIO MORA: Well, it seems like Michigan Avenue is clogged with Clinique Happy for both men and women, although there is a Flowerbomb spill near Saks Fifth Avenue. Meanwhile, in Schaumburg at Woodfield Mall, get ready for some high doses of Acqua di Gio, which, by the way, Diann, is one of my two favorites. That and Creed's Silver Mountain Water, which is lightly sprinkling Northbrook Court near the Neiman Marcus store.
DIANN: Sounds like you've got good taste, Antonio!
ANTONIO: Over in Skokie at Old Orchard, be prepared for an Angel triple-whammy near Nordstrom, Marshall Field's, and Bloomingdale's.
DIANN: Guess I won't be shopping at Old Orchard today!
ANTONIO: Moving on over to Northwest Indiana, there's both a White Diamonds Alert and a Drakkar Noir Warning near Southlake Mall in Merrillville. Stay clear from that spot at all costs.
DIANN: That's even worse!
ANTONIO: Finally, over at Six Flags Great America, I smell body odor...I mean Kingdom...or is that body odor? Anyway, I'm confused.
DIANN: You shouldn't be, but I'm sure glad there's not smell-o-vision! Still to come on CBS 2...
(COMMERCIAL BREAK) This portion of CBS 2 News is sponsored by Eternity and Eternity for Men by Calvin Klein.
Anyway, feel free to post some other "fragrance forecasts" with some of the malls and TV anchors/stations in your area.
START (to the tune of boring Frank Gari/615 Music/Stephen Arnold-produced news music): Now, the news on CBS 2 with Diann Burns...
(15 minutes later after weather)
DIANN BURNS: Antonio Mora is standing by at CBS 2 Fragrance Control. What's the scoop, Antonio?
ANTONIO MORA: Well, it seems like Michigan Avenue is clogged with Clinique Happy for both men and women, although there is a Flowerbomb spill near Saks Fifth Avenue. Meanwhile, in Schaumburg at Woodfield Mall, get ready for some high doses of Acqua di Gio, which, by the way, Diann, is one of my two favorites. That and Creed's Silver Mountain Water, which is lightly sprinkling Northbrook Court near the Neiman Marcus store.
DIANN: Sounds like you've got good taste, Antonio!
ANTONIO: Over in Skokie at Old Orchard, be prepared for an Angel triple-whammy near Nordstrom, Marshall Field's, and Bloomingdale's.
DIANN: Guess I won't be shopping at Old Orchard today!
ANTONIO: Moving on over to Northwest Indiana, there's both a White Diamonds Alert and a Drakkar Noir Warning near Southlake Mall in Merrillville. Stay clear from that spot at all costs.
DIANN: That's even worse!
ANTONIO: Finally, over at Six Flags Great America, I smell body odor...I mean Kingdom...or is that body odor? Anyway, I'm confused.
DIANN: You shouldn't be, but I'm sure glad there's not smell-o-vision! Still to come on CBS 2...
(COMMERCIAL BREAK) This portion of CBS 2 News is sponsored by Eternity and Eternity for Men by Calvin Klein.
Anyway, feel free to post some other "fragrance forecasts" with some of the malls and TV anchors/stations in your area.
