Don't blame me, some of you actually wanted more Ê:
This takes the form of an email I sent to several coworkers about half a year ago. ÊIt actually occured before the other story I've shared here. ÊI've kept it in its' original form, mainly due to a desire to minimize reliving the experience...
******************************
Before you ask, no I am not making any of this up. ÊI'm creative but not that creative ":^) ÊHere's how my trip home went last week. ÊMake sure you're in a comfy chair; this will take a while.
First off remember that during this last trip we changed corporate credit cards from the old American Express to a new Visa. ÊAnd of course my trip got extended (as it almost always does) so I had to call Northwest and change my return flight, which necessitated a change fee. ÊBut try as I might I could not get Northwest to *not* use the old cancelled Amex card that was in my profile. ÊHow they rammed a charge thru on a shut down card is beyond me. ÊBut every person I talked to (on the phone, at the checkin counter, at the airport club) told me a completely different story--I was genuinely worried they would page me at the last minute and deny me boarding because they realized my charge did not go through. ÊIt took an extra Bloody Mary in the club room to allay my fears. ÊI got to board OK but because of the confusion I did not get a first class upgrade--best I could get was a middle seat in the rear emergency exit row. ÊOh well, at least I had extra legroom--but that turned out to be a curse in disguise. ÊBecause...
On this flight there was some kind of big group of "young couples with their first little babies". ÊI don't know if it was a church group or what but there was like 35 couples with babies on this flight! ÊKind of a nightmare scenario for the rest of us but I have to say only a couple of them were criers--most of them were really sweet little munchkins. ÊUntil...
The line at the restrooms got awfully long with lots of Moms (and a few Dads) needing to change Junior. ÊIt really got out of control and the parents started frantically looking for anyplace to put down a kid and change them. ÊAnd guess where they found? ÊYup, the exit rows, where I was sitting. ÊSo there went my extra legroom as baby after baby was laid down on the floor at my feet and had their stinky poopy diaper changed. ÊAnd the sweet protective parents were glaring up at us as if we were in the wrong for sitting there and having nothing else to do but watch them. This went on for the rest of the flight, which was extra long 'cuz they routed me thru Detroit to get home (duh).
So finally I'm on the ground in Detroit; another Bloody and I'm ready to put the whole poop-plane experience behind me. ÊI get on the flight back to Milwaukee and I've got an even worse seat, a window seat way in the back of the bus. ÊAnd right in the seat in front of me comes a sweet 75 year old Grandmotherly type who obviously has lost her sense of smell some time back and does not realize how badly HER diaper needs changing. ÊI'm talkin' an hour of dry heaves, folks. ÊEverybody around me was in distress.
Anyway this too passes and I'm finally free, on the ground in Milwaukee. ÊAs my bag comes around the carousel I notice that every flap, pouch and zipper on it is open. ÊThe morons at the Transportation Security Authority at LAX searched my bag and left it wide open when they were done. ÊIt traveled across the country wide open. ÊIt's amazing that everything didn't fall out (this would have been embarrassing mostly because of my love for dainty frilly things, but hey let's not talk about that now).
Anyway a miracle has occurred and as near as I can tell nothing got lost. ÊSo I seal it up and head to my car in the parking ramp. ÊAs I approach my car I hit the little button on my keyring to unlock the door but for some reason it's not working. ÊI load everything in, sit myself down, turn the key, and...
clickclickclickclick
Hmmm. ÊTry again--
clickclickclickclickclickclickclickclickclickclick clickclickclickclickclickclickclickclickclickclick clickclickclickclick
My battery is dead.
Oh God. ÊDo you believe in omens? ÊSomeone, or something, just does not want me to get home. ÊNot happily anyway ":^).
So there you have it. ÊThink of me the next time you travel and things go even remotely well. ÊAnd count your blessings.
This takes the form of an email I sent to several coworkers about half a year ago. ÊIt actually occured before the other story I've shared here. ÊI've kept it in its' original form, mainly due to a desire to minimize reliving the experience...
******************************
Before you ask, no I am not making any of this up. ÊI'm creative but not that creative ":^) ÊHere's how my trip home went last week. ÊMake sure you're in a comfy chair; this will take a while.
First off remember that during this last trip we changed corporate credit cards from the old American Express to a new Visa. ÊAnd of course my trip got extended (as it almost always does) so I had to call Northwest and change my return flight, which necessitated a change fee. ÊBut try as I might I could not get Northwest to *not* use the old cancelled Amex card that was in my profile. ÊHow they rammed a charge thru on a shut down card is beyond me. ÊBut every person I talked to (on the phone, at the checkin counter, at the airport club) told me a completely different story--I was genuinely worried they would page me at the last minute and deny me boarding because they realized my charge did not go through. ÊIt took an extra Bloody Mary in the club room to allay my fears. ÊI got to board OK but because of the confusion I did not get a first class upgrade--best I could get was a middle seat in the rear emergency exit row. ÊOh well, at least I had extra legroom--but that turned out to be a curse in disguise. ÊBecause...
On this flight there was some kind of big group of "young couples with their first little babies". ÊI don't know if it was a church group or what but there was like 35 couples with babies on this flight! ÊKind of a nightmare scenario for the rest of us but I have to say only a couple of them were criers--most of them were really sweet little munchkins. ÊUntil...
The line at the restrooms got awfully long with lots of Moms (and a few Dads) needing to change Junior. ÊIt really got out of control and the parents started frantically looking for anyplace to put down a kid and change them. ÊAnd guess where they found? ÊYup, the exit rows, where I was sitting. ÊSo there went my extra legroom as baby after baby was laid down on the floor at my feet and had their stinky poopy diaper changed. ÊAnd the sweet protective parents were glaring up at us as if we were in the wrong for sitting there and having nothing else to do but watch them. This went on for the rest of the flight, which was extra long 'cuz they routed me thru Detroit to get home (duh).
So finally I'm on the ground in Detroit; another Bloody and I'm ready to put the whole poop-plane experience behind me. ÊI get on the flight back to Milwaukee and I've got an even worse seat, a window seat way in the back of the bus. ÊAnd right in the seat in front of me comes a sweet 75 year old Grandmotherly type who obviously has lost her sense of smell some time back and does not realize how badly HER diaper needs changing. ÊI'm talkin' an hour of dry heaves, folks. ÊEverybody around me was in distress.
Anyway this too passes and I'm finally free, on the ground in Milwaukee. ÊAs my bag comes around the carousel I notice that every flap, pouch and zipper on it is open. ÊThe morons at the Transportation Security Authority at LAX searched my bag and left it wide open when they were done. ÊIt traveled across the country wide open. ÊIt's amazing that everything didn't fall out (this would have been embarrassing mostly because of my love for dainty frilly things, but hey let's not talk about that now).
Anyway a miracle has occurred and as near as I can tell nothing got lost. ÊSo I seal it up and head to my car in the parking ramp. ÊAs I approach my car I hit the little button on my keyring to unlock the door but for some reason it's not working. ÊI load everything in, sit myself down, turn the key, and...
clickclickclickclick
Hmmm. ÊTry again--
clickclickclickclickclickclickclickclickclickclick clickclickclickclickclickclickclickclickclickclick clickclickclickclick
My battery is dead.
Oh God. ÊDo you believe in omens? ÊSomeone, or something, just does not want me to get home. ÊNot happily anyway ":^).
So there you have it. ÊThink of me the next time you travel and things go even remotely well. ÊAnd count your blessings.
