Purplebird, I know what you mean. I had a really bad cold just before I found out I was pregnant, and of course I am wondering if the Lemsips were to blame, or the very occcasional hot whisky. I think the reality probably is that it was nothing to do with anything that I did or didn't do, but part of me still keeps dredging for a reason. I am so very reassured by all of you who have had the strength to carry on and will keep that in my heart. Thank you. Women must be so amazingly strong to go through this multiple times.
Restlesssoul, I know this is daft, but I don't want the fact of being scent-free to be associated with this memory either, if that makes sense? I feel slightly lost without a scent, less grounded, and this is a time when I need to feel grounded.
My boss is being very sympathetic and does not want me to go back to work yet. Possibly because I burst into tears on the phone. The physical symptoms are starting to ease off a bit so I may try a small shopping trip in the next couple of days, I haven't really been out since Thursday apart from a very numb trip to the supermarket on Saturday morning. In the meantime, I am wearing Bois Farine today, and finding it very comforting. I'm very much liking the idea of a simple rose - I sampled Bvlgari Rose Essentielle at the airport last year and remember it being delectable, although it did get swamped by the other scents I was trying.
I remember recieving the citrus recommendation when my Grandma died, and wound up with Eau de Merveilles, which was perfect, but I could no longer bring myself to wear it after the funeral and gave it away. I guess this time I won't get the closure of a funeral, hopefully there will always be a little part of my child's essence still in me.