Originally Posted by _R$_
A dyslexic guy walks into a bra.
and the guy who never learned to spell spent his night in a warehouse...
and for our friend who had the husband store, it's only fair to present the other half...
A man was downtown to buy an alternator when he noticed a store called the wife store. He figured since he was single, that this might take some of the annoyance out of dating if he could just go in and pick one. As he made his way to the elevator and notices there are 6 floors to choose from, he asks to go up. The elevator operator announced the first floor...
"These are the women who have jobs and want to be wives!"
the guy thinks ok, I can do a bit better than that, he proceeds to the second floor...
"These are the women who have jobs, want to be wives and love sex!"
hey sweet! but you know I can do better than this, third floor please...
"These are the women who have jobs, want to be wives, love sex and are very sexy to boot!"
dude! this ROCKS! but you know, I can do a bit better than that, fourth floor...
"These are the women who have jobs, want to be wives, love sex, are very sexy and love beer and sports!"
The guy is just floored and says to himself, this is just heaven! He proceeds to step off the elevator and choose a sweet brunette and pledge his love and devotion to her.
as they are leaving the building to go get hitched, on the ride down, they just had to ask the elevevator operator what's on the fifth and sixth floors...
to which he deftly replied "Couldn't tell ya, noone has ever cared to go up there!"
for the women who think we are insensitive clods and don't remember important dates in our relationships...
A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband was not in
She puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him.
She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a hot cup of coffee in
front of him.
He appears to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall.
She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of his
"What's the matter, dear?" she whispers as she steps into the
"Why are you down here at this
time of night?"
The husband looks up from his coffee, "I am just remembering when we
first met 20 years ago and started dating.
You were only 16. Do you remember back then?" he asks
The wife is a lmost reduced to tears herself, just thinking how caring and
sensitive her husband is.
"Yes, I do" she replies.
The husband pauses.
The words were not coming easily. "Do you remember when your dad
caught us in the back seat of my car?"
"Yes, I remember," said the wife, lowering herself into a chair
The husband continues. "Do you remember when he shoved that shotgun
in my face and said, "Either you marry my daughter, or I will send
you to jail for 20 years?"
"I remember that, too" she replies softly.
He wipes another tear from his cheek and says...."I would have
gotten out today."