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Weird situation with my room mate and Dior Homme

post #1 of 24
8/20/07 at 10:03am
Thread Starter 
I'm not a selfish person. Never have been, never will be.

So it troubles me to think of the situation I am in right now with my room mate.

I let him use fragrances from my collection, as he pleases. He always asks first, and rarely actually ends up using them anyway.

His favorite seems to be Dior Homme. He will just about always pick that one. He has asked me a couple of times to find a bottle for him, because he loves it so much. My problem with doing so, is that I don't want to smell it on him very often, if ever, really! It's no secret that scents and memory are closely related, so I don't feel like a weirdo when I say that it totally depersonalizes a scent for me to smell it on someone else, especially repeatedly.

Before I started collecting fragrances, I used to wear Diesel ++...a signature fragrance if I ever did have one. I had two extra bottles of it when I moved in with my best friend, Ron about 7 months ago, so I gave him one as a sort of apartment-warming gift...and I think it was Christmas too. I knew he liked it because when we went to Cancun for spring break a few years back, we both wore the heck out of it. Now, I get to smell his 300-lb sweaty ass overapply it every time he's going somewhere, as though I've never mentioned it to him

He's the type of person that will just forget about it, and never track down a bottle himself because it would requre too much effort on his behalf...so if I don't find it for him, he'll never get it.

Am I so bad?

and btw, I know I didn't paint a great picture of him as a person, but he really is my best friend and he knows he's a lazy fatass, so don't worry about that, lol
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post #2 of 24
8/20/07 at 10:26am
I agree with you.. I've had fragrances that once I smell on someone I know, I will most likely not wear again. It's definitely personal and smelling your own scents on a friend is like catching them using your razer. It's just not good.

.. and your description of your friend really is pretty amusing :P
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post #3 of 24
8/20/07 at 10:42am
I had a roommate who had to hit my Kouros before clubbing back in college...it was my main scent around age 20...people loved it on me.
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post #4 of 24
8/20/07 at 10:50am
If, a couple of years ago, a friend wanted to use my signaure frag (which was Le Male at the time) it wouldn't have been a problem. However, now it would feel like someone rumaging through my extensive music collection. In other words, no f***ing way!!!
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post #5 of 24
8/20/07 at 11:23am
Yeah, I think you need to remake claim on all your fragrances and Dior Homme.

Maybe it'll help to get your room mate through things if you buy him a bottle of some scent you think is good but aren't interested in yourself. Then the next time he asks to use your stuff you can reply that nope, now he's on his own for the scent hunt. You got him something good, but that for the rest of it what you own yourself is how YOU want YOU to smell. Tell him he's got the scent you gave him, and he's got all the freedom in the world to scent hunt himself.

Maybe it'll work. Who am I to say?
Good luck,
--Chris
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post #6 of 24
8/20/07 at 11:45am
Tell him the truth, always the best way. Tell him that by wearing your fragrances and you smelling them constantly that they end up becoming unpleasant for you to wear. Explain what your collection means to you, he probably doesn't know. If a true friend/roomate, he will understand. If he doesn't, time for a new roomate?
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post #7 of 24
8/20/07 at 12:40pm
I think to not want to smell a fragrance on someone else, the fragrance should be one that a lot of people don't wear - like a niche scent or an older scent.

So it doesn't bother me when I smell one of my fragrances on another guy. But if I smell that man's fragrance on a woman, then I think twice!
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post #8 of 24
8/20/07 at 12:46pm
This is what I did when my best friend wanted to borrow my scents all the time. I made him decants of John Varvatos, GIT, Benneton Sport, and Santal by Floris, all scents that I know are good yet that I don't wear often and have no personal attachment to. He really liked wearing them for a while and would get tons of compliments (perhaps because before he didn't smell that great...), but eventually just grew bored of the whole wearing scents thing. Now I'm glad I didn't let him use anything important! Make him prove his true interest in fragrance before you let him in on the stuff that's important to you. He'll either get bored and solve the problem himself or else you'll have a good friend to talk scents with.


Quote:
Originally Posted by DustB View Post

Yeah, I think you need to remake claim on all your fragrances and Dior Homme.

Maybe it'll help to get your room mate through things if you buy him a bottle of some scent you think is good but aren't interested in yourself. Then the next time he asks to use your stuff you can reply that nope, now he's on his own for the scent hunt. You got him something good, but that for the rest of it what you own yourself is how YOU want YOU to smell. Tell him he's got the scent you gave him, and he's got all the freedom in the world to scent hunt himself.

Maybe it'll work. Who am I to say?
Good luck,
--Chris
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post #9 of 24
8/20/07 at 12:54pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by The_Giraffe View Post

This is what I did when my best friend wanted to borrow my scents all the time. I made him decants of John Varvatos, GIT, Benneton Sport, and Santal by Floris, all scents that I know are good yet that I don't wear often and have no personal attachment to. He really liked wearing them for a while and would get tons of compliments (perhaps because before he didn't smell that great...), but eventually just grew bored of the whole wearing scents thing. Now I'm glad I didn't let him use anything important! Make him prove his true interest in fragrance before you let him in on the stuff that's important to you. He'll either get bored and solve the problem himself or else you'll have a good friend to talk scents with.

I second that.
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post #10 of 24
8/20/07 at 4:10pm
Well, you invited him in...

Choose a scent for him that you don't care about and gift him a bottle of it, They gently let him know that your scents are yours and his are his.

I mean, if he were doing this with food or booze, wouldn't you eventually have to have him stop? If he liked to smell nice, he should buy a bottle.
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post #11 of 24
8/20/07 at 5:23pm
I had a bottle of le male that I brought with me to a friends house by accident once. I had invested time into finding the perfect scent for me. He started wearing it whenever he'd go out somewhere and we hang out with the same girls. When I finally got it back from him it was half empty and every girl I knew would comment that I smelt like him. It pissed me off to no end that not only did he use half of my 70 something dollar bottle but that now everyone was associating this scent to him and implyed I was trying to copy off him or something. Ridiculous. I'll never take a bottle anywhere again unless it's decanted
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post #12 of 24
8/20/07 at 6:51pm
Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free.

TNMA
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post #13 of 24
8/20/07 at 6:59pm
Thread Starter 
"why buy the cow..." lol, that's the truth!

I'd feel even more selfish if I told him that he couldn't use any of the 50 bottles I own!

It really isn't a money thing.. I could never even use all my stuff up, let alone him making any significant dent with the maybe once every week or two that he uses them.

My saving grace here is his passivity! Just ignore it and it will go away...(thats what I keep telling myself anyway!)
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post #14 of 24
8/20/07 at 8:08pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by The_Giraffe View Post

This is what I did when my best friend wanted to borrow my scents all the time. I made him decants of John Varvatos, GIT, Benneton Sport, and Santal by Floris, all scents that I know are good yet that I don't wear often and have no personal attachment to. He really liked wearing them for a while and would get tons of compliments (perhaps because before he didn't smell that great...), but eventually just grew bored of the whole wearing scents thing. Now I'm glad I didn't let him use anything important! Make him prove his true interest in fragrance before you let him in on the stuff that's important to you. He'll either get bored and solve the problem himself or else you'll have a good friend to talk scents with.

Great solution!
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post #15 of 24
8/20/07 at 8:18pm
Tell him that you read on Basenotes that too much Dior Homme causes cancer or something ..
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post #16 of 24
8/20/07 at 8:55pm
I never let somebody use my perfume collection on regular basis (except my wife - but she choose masculines very saldom - mainly her own perfumes)!
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post #17 of 24
8/20/07 at 10:12pm
the same with me ! fragances are like clothes, every person has a style in every thing they do and choose.
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post #18 of 24
8/20/07 at 10:48pm
I think the depersonalization of 'Homme' has just taken place. Or, more precisely: it is already more connected with your roommate than you had wished to happen. You might as well be generous and make it a gift now. If done properly that could make him think twice before he would usurp one of your other treasures. A few years later you may be happy to go back to DH with a smile.
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post #19 of 24
8/20/07 at 11:14pm
I think to 'go back' now will be rather like trying to squeeze the toothpaste back into the tube... let your roomie use it as much as he pleases, and find yourself another gem. Maybe he can throw you a 20 for the remainder of your bottle.

With the wealth of information and advice available to you here on Basenotes, you\
e likely to find a brand new fave in no time at all.
Just keep THAT one in a locked drawer, and learn from this experience.
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post #20 of 24
8/21/07 at 2:15am
get bois d'argent for yourself. problem solved!
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post #21 of 24
8/21/07 at 5:49am
Thread Starter 
OH, he hasn't used it enough to associate himself with it yet. My bottle is about 96% full and I'd never let THAT happen! I wore it last night and it was still totally "me".

But I think some of you might be right....Maybe I should cut him off before its too late.

and btw, I already have Bois d'Argent...awesome!
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post #22 of 24
8/21/07 at 6:28am
I think the posts that suggest you give him some scents to work with in decants make the most compelling argument. Take 3-4 scents from your collection that you wear infrequently and are good for daily wear (because I doubt he wants to worry about which fragrance goes with which occasion) and give him samples. Tell him that since he is so interested you wanted to give him some stuff to start with and he can run with it from there. Personally, I am on a forum with two individuals who sell a wide variety of decants (and describe all the colognes quite well), and now have over 20 different scents to choose from which cover all my bases and then some. I don't know if there are large decant threads here? Perhaps you can point him in those kinds of directions. And since it sounds like you are a younger guy and you aren't going to have a sit-down conversation with your buddy about cologne, I imagine it going something like:

Friend: Hey dude can I use some of that cologne of yours I like?
You: Yo man that's one of my favorites and when you use it it's like we are wearing the same outfit and it makes it less cool for me. But I have a huge collection -- how about I give you some samples of some stuff and show you this guy who sells more samples?
Friend: Oh, as long as the girls like it as much as they do that other stuff!
You: Trust me!

I think that's for the best if you like DH that much.
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post #23 of 24
8/21/07 at 7:13am
No, you're not so bad.

let's try this one:

Friend: hey dude, can i use that cologne of yours i like? (thanks for the line Telix and welcome to Bnotes!)
You: Sure here ya go.
Friend spritzes 5-6 times.
You: That'll be 3,50$. Thank you and see you soon!
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post #24 of 24
8/21/07 at 7:43am
Haha, thanks for shopping?
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