Originally Posted by kbe
I received this in letter form yesterday, postmaked "Folsom Prison", with a request to post it in the appropriate thread on Basenotes. Apparently the sender, who never identified himself to me, had done decant business with me 'back in the day' :
I post this for the edification of my fellow Basenoters~
Call me "Itchmale".
And I am a Decantaholic. My real name I will withhold to protect the innocent. This is my story:
Part of my probation after spending 4 months in Folsom Prison for selling Decants on eBay is to give counsel those who think they can circumvent the Fragrance Industry Protective laws. I am concerned at the undercurrent of possible illicit decanting, guised as 'bottle splitting' , on e-sites such as Basenotes.
I started small as you are now starting, splitting a bottle of Axe with my brother, in whose van I was living. Soon I was decanting and splitting bottles with everyone and anyone. I couldn't stop. Behind restaurants,in bathrooms and in public malls, with bellboys and senators, I conducted furtive and clandestine deals on the fly at major intersection stop lights in medium size cities across this great nation of ours. (I recalled your name and address because no one else but you had ever been a repeat buyer of decants of Guerlain's underground frag "Icky")
I began selling my illicit wares on e-sites such as eBay and Amazon under the guise of such colorful names as ScrewTop and Madamizer. I was knowingly bringing the entire fragrance industry to their knees, costing them a bundle in lost new sales, and I was loving it. "They" (eBay?) even sent an asnomic hit-woman to 'take me out' with a public superspritzing from a specially prepared, noxious 10ml spray bottle of Britney Spears "Pantyless" (unreleased) but after the superspritzing one thing led to another and we ended up co-habitating in my brothers van as live-in lovers. My Brother and his lover graciously moved to the back seat.
Please, gentle readers, do not follow my path to perdition. Stop this highly addictive and patently insane 'bottle swapping' now, before it leads to hard core decanting, as it did to me, and even more importently, STOP, before you piss off eBay.
I had no shame. I am a Decantaholic.
PS: (Please find a way to post this on Basenotes? Thanking you in advance with the enclosed 5ml roll-on decant of "Squeeze" by Sun Maid Raisin Company)"My Decant List"
I present the above without comment, unabridged and exactly as I received it.