I am sorry for you, in your situation !
So very painful to be abused, in any way.
It is clear that you treat your own children very differently !
Orion- you write very evocatively and eloquently, from your own experience. I can feel the weight you carry.You are absolutely right about the stones in your shoe...I wish you only the best and kindest of true friends, who will help you in your life as fellow caryatid.
[I'm not going anywhere, if you ever need to talk...]
Pomander: Odd as it seems, your father's transformation is a perverse gift , making now possible a level of comfort that never existed before this. Don't feel guilty !
You didn't create the scenario- and if it enables healing, it's a blessing indeed, however strange.
Life is rife with irony, isn't it ?
I'm sad about your own mother; it was bizarre that dementia rendered her more gentle; I'm only sorry that it was too late for you both, at that time.
Has it gotten any better, lately ?
My loving thoughts are with you.
Since everyone posted, we had to empty the trunk of our car.
Unbeknownst to me [ and him], my DH had included some writings my mother had saved, from elementary school years.
Undeniable, irrefutable proof of cruelty, written by a 9 year old, as school compositions.
Chilled me, thoroughly.
It's not about forgiveness- I did that, long ago.
But to see proof that it always existed, that you didn't exaggerate,or 'enhance' it in any way...
And that it was apparent for all to see-
It just chills me.
I am a witness to the suffering of others-
In private, in public, by profession, by avocation.
At home, on the street, in the subway, at the hospital.
Life has prepared me well-
But it's one hell of a weird karma...
SOTE: Liu edp.
I found unopened vials of 'goodies' I'd decanted and sent, untouched.
Bless you, dear folks.
No one's life is pristine, eh ?