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On fragrance, personality and...a dominatrix.

post #1 of 15
8/24/08 at 10:13am
Thread Starter 
I'll be brief. A friend works as a dominatrix in NYC. She tells me that the men who are her clients (and I've heard this before, in other contexts) are overwhelmingly people who have a lot of power and responsibility in their work and family lives. I often hear of this opposition between a person's private/erotic life and their public/work/social etc. life.

I'm pondering whether or not this applies to scent as well. For me, I think it does. Overwhelmingly I go for soft, quiet scents, and am usually turned off by the louder, stronger ones. However, in terms of personality, most people who know me would say I tend to be forthright and confident (even abrupt) in my dealings with my public life and others in it. Am I unconsciously picking scents to balance out an image of myself?

Having said that, 2 close (both female) friends both match outgoing, vivacious personalities with equally vivacious scents.

What do others think of this? Does your scent 'match' your personality in the sense of being similiar to it, or maybe in the sense of balancing it out?* None of the above?

(*I realize this is all totally subjective but I'm still intrigued to hear what others think!)
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post #2 of 15
8/24/08 at 10:44am
I don't know, I think of myself a quiet and self-effacing but am told that I don't necessarily come off that way. So I don't know if my scents play into that or against it..
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post #3 of 15
8/24/08 at 10:55am
I suppose I'm the quiet and modest type and I like vetiver scents (Guerlain, Creed Original Vetiver, F. Malle Vétiver Extraordinaire). No idea if that matches my personality or not. I do like to be subtle in my application (no more than one or two sprays).
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post #4 of 15
8/24/08 at 4:30pm
I'm all over the map in my fragrance choices - sometimes I enjoy loud, and sometimes I enjoy soft, sometimes cheap, sometimes expensive, sometimes masculine, sometimes feminine, or unisex. It just depends upon my mood, hormones, weather, time of day, who knows what else...(Gemini ascendent here, maybe that accounts for my preference inconsistencies). I'm basically rather introverted, though, and I don't wear a LOT of fragrance at one time, and I wear it more for my own enjoyment than to make an impression on others. So...to answer your question...perhaps it's my style of wearing a fragrance that matches my personality more than a particular type of fragrance.
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post #5 of 15
8/25/08 at 4:43am
Quote:
Originally Posted by lilybelle View Post

I'm all over the map in my fragrance choices - sometimes I enjoy loud, and sometimes I enjoy soft, sometimes cheap, sometimes expensive, sometimes masculine, sometimes feminine, or unisex. It just depends upon my mood, hormones, weather, time of day, who knows what else...(Gemini ascendent here, maybe that accounts for my preference inconsistencies). I'm basically rather introverted, though, and I don't wear a LOT of fragrance at one time, and I wear it more for my own enjoyment than to make an impression on others. So...to answer your question...perhaps it's my style of wearing a fragrance that matches my personality more than a particular type of fragrance.

I'm with lilybelle. It's the WAY I wear my scents rather than the scent itself.
I dab when I can, spray when I have to. Try not to wear so much that others notice unless they are really close - and the only people I let get that close are very close friends (Metro notwithstanding).

I'm having way too much fun sampling stuff and trying new things to have my scent relate to my personality.
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post #6 of 15
8/25/08 at 9:59am
Well, I tend to have a somewhat strong personality, and I think that I try to accentuate it - I use scents like "Trouble" and "Le Baiser du Dragon".
However, I also think that scents consciously or not, match the occasion. I can go L'Heure Bleue when it's all about seduction, and Trésor when I do business.
It could very well be that you in fact are "hiding" your strength, or modifying it - but you don't have to. Have you tried something spicier just to see what happens?
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post #7 of 15
8/25/08 at 10:09am
Depends - the answers above are good already, but basically, I reckon the point about "it's how you wear it" is spot on. It's fun to throw people off the scent so to speak, sometimes. Match a strong look with a delicate, quiet scent, or on a red clothes day, wear blue scents, or go all out and wear the loudest scent you can even if you happen to be a milky blonde.

I think the choice of whether or not someone has more than a couple of perfumes to choose in the first place is more interesting (although that doesn't have anything to do with dominating or submissive behaviour - just with whether they're excited about perfume or not!)
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post #8 of 15
8/25/08 at 10:16am
My perfume suits my mood, but all my perfume is often what not everyone wears and I think it matches me in that way.

In sexuality it makes more sense that people might enjoy assuming a more or less assertive role than they play in real life because it can function as an escape from every day to day life. Perfume is not us escaping from day to life or taking a break from what your normally because you use perfume with you during day to day things.
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post #9 of 15
8/25/08 at 10:20am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nukapai View Post

Depends - the answers above are good already, but basically, I reckon the point about "it's how you wear it" is spot on. It's fun to throw people off the scent so to speak, sometimes. Match a strong look with a delicate, quiet scent, or on a red clothes day, wear blue scents, or go all out and wear the loudest scent you can even if you happen to be a milky blonde.

I think the choice of whether or not someone has more than a couple of perfumes to choose in the first place is more interesting (although that doesn't have anything to do with dominating or submissive behaviour - just with whether they're excited about perfume or not!)

That's so funny! I have such a hard time seeing myself doing a Lolita douched in Curious! But I just may try it - just to see what will happen.
This should be interesting - social studies, anyone?
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post #10 of 15
8/25/08 at 12:12pm
I will admit to wearing my most formal scents (hello Mitsouko) with my grungiest clothing.
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post #11 of 15
8/25/08 at 1:58pm
Thread Starter 
Yep, my primmest (is that a word?) scents get paired with tougher outfits and I generally pair more complex/difficult scents with more feminine outfits. It involves all sorts of other variables, too. Weather, mood etc. etc.
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post #12 of 15
8/25/08 at 2:21pm
I just had to read this post because it had 'dominatrix' in the title, LOL

I don't think there is a specific correlation between personality and the scent. That is, does someone who most would consider meek wear a close-to-the-skin scent? Or someone who is a braggart wear Joop? I am an assertive person, being a lawyer, but I dont wear fragrance to be noticed. I tend to go for scents that most people in my town have never heard of, and that even carries to most sales associates at high-end shops, not that we have a lot of choices. There is one guy in Memphis at Zoe's, Eddie, and he is fantastically knowledgeable though we don't have many scents in Memphis to sample.

Anyway,this is interesting.
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post #13 of 15
8/25/08 at 5:24pm
My preference is for frags complex enough to encompass a range of personas, from fresh and carefree to classic to something serious to contend with to fun and exotic. Recent frag offerings seem less likely to encompass all that I need in one scent. On any given day, I'm a worker bee, sportswoman, business woman, and fun, feminine date, and I'm not going to be spritzing on four or five different scents in sequence to convey all of this. One scent I put on that morning kind of needs to handle all of this. So, rather than contrasting or conveying my personality or mood, the frag needs to be nuanced enought to adapt to it.

Thank you for the excellent question.
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post #14 of 15
8/25/08 at 8:13pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by seattlelight View Post

My preference is for frags complex enough to encompass a range of personas, from fresh and carefree to classic to something serious to contend with to fun and exotic. Recent frag offerings seem less likely to encompass all that I need in one scent. On any given day, I'm a worker bee, sportswoman, business woman, and fun, feminine date, and I'm not going to be spritzing on four or five different scents in sequence to convey all of this. One scent I put on that morning kind of needs to handle all of this. So, rather than contrasting or conveying my personality or mood, the frag needs to be nuanced enought to adapt to it.

Thank you for the excellent question.

Seattlelight has pretty much said what I was going to say, and she did a great job saying it. I too look for interest, complexity and versatility in my fragrances. The ones that don't have this quality don't get worn anywhere near as often as those that do.
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post #15 of 15
8/25/08 at 9:02pm
Seattlelight is pretty much spot on, I agree with Haunai.

at work, i have to be the the boss lady, sales girl, stock girl, spearfisher girl, diver girl, and all around tough girl because at the end of the day, I'm still a girl in a guy's sport (though that's changing pretty quickly). I wear my femmie stuff (L'Heure Bleue, Vol de Nuit, #5, blah blah blah) because they are beautiful and femmine when I can't be. But on the flip side, I've got more masculine stuff that I wear with sun dresses just because I can (and I love me my Epicia... wore it today)

what i wear is me because i wear it. i wouldn't own a perfume, none the less wear it if it did not speak to some part of me, be it the tough girl side, the hopeless romantic, the book nerd, or the Kerouac loving free spirit.

so i guess we can say

The scent becomes her.

:-)
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