You folks are my special community, and it feels right to share this information with you.
Our only child, our 29yo daughter, brought over her boyfriend yesterday. They've worked at the same place for many months. She thought he was much younger than she, so paid him no heed for a while, but it turned out he's only one year younger--by exactly one year as they share a common birthday.
During a series of visits at his parents' house, where he lives, they baked cookies, he tried to teach her to crochet (apparently she lacks the gene to master this skill) and they watched a lot of movies. We knew something special was going on between them, and that because we have an unusual house, we figured circumstances were simply more accommodating at the other house with conventional architecture and furniture.
Well ... the fella came over yesterday. Yes, he's a very good-looking lad with big brown eyes like my daughter and husband have. His last name is a Bohemian one (my mother, rest her soul, couldn't be more pleased about that and his love of yarn). He drives the same kind of vehicle we've had three of, so it looked at home in our driveway.
We have always loved all of Mandy's friends, and she has always shown immense practicality in every choice she has ever made, so we didn't waiver when, after sending him to BlockBuster for a video, Mandy told us he's on parole.
The short version, which is all there was time for yesterday, is that when he was 22yo and his teenage girlfriend was less than 18, they had sex. I don't know more than that right now. Anyway, their relationship went sour, and she revealed their intimacy. He was sentenced to four years in prison and six years on parole for the felony of sex with a minor.
DH and I know that any of our foolish youthful acts, such as driving drunk, could have changed lives forever, so we aren't going to sit in judgement. That has been done to Brian by the legal system, and that judgement affects his every waking moment. He can travel only to locations that have been pre-approved. We may now expect that at any time our phone may ring or the police may visit our home to check up on his whereabouts. He cannot attend events where children may be present. He must attend weekly meetings to discuss his sexuality. He is not allowed to use the Internet or email. If he wants to look up something from the Barnes & Noble website, as he did last night, someone else has to do that for him. He is regularly reminded that if he breathes the wrong way, he will be thrown back in prison (which is where he learned to crochet, BTW).
He has 4-1/2 more years on parole. Those of you who know how much we wanted Mandy to stay close to home will see the humor in her falling for this handsome anchor. She knows she can't take him to the places she's lived and worked: New Orleans and Orlando's Disney World. And it had to have been very hard for her to think through all of the ramifications and then tell us.
And how do I feel about this? Call me crazy, but I'm really happy with the kid who ate focaccia and watched TV with us last night. I see a kid who's a little broken, but worthy of love. If Mandy's ready to see him through, so am I. DH says he's "okay with the guy." Admittedly, I want to shape the young man, as a teacher would. I want to be able to expand his world as much I can.
Adding a whole other element of strange to this story: His younger brother is completing his schooling and is guaranteed a job at the industrial business that surrounds our property. The odds of this being the case, given the enormity of business in this part of the state, are crazy-freakish. If the brother could get a foot in the door, maybe the boyfriend could get a job there and earn a decent living, which is very, very difficult given his status and the economy right now.
So, he's not the answer to every mother's prayer right now. But he may be a worthy fixer-upper. Time will tell.
If any of you has insight, feel free to advise. And thanks for listening. I'm glad to have someone to talk to, and I don't plan to tell my "3-D" friends as I feel it's not my place to do so--that's up to Mandy and Brian.
Our only child, our 29yo daughter, brought over her boyfriend yesterday. They've worked at the same place for many months. She thought he was much younger than she, so paid him no heed for a while, but it turned out he's only one year younger--by exactly one year as they share a common birthday.
During a series of visits at his parents' house, where he lives, they baked cookies, he tried to teach her to crochet (apparently she lacks the gene to master this skill) and they watched a lot of movies. We knew something special was going on between them, and that because we have an unusual house, we figured circumstances were simply more accommodating at the other house with conventional architecture and furniture.
Well ... the fella came over yesterday. Yes, he's a very good-looking lad with big brown eyes like my daughter and husband have. His last name is a Bohemian one (my mother, rest her soul, couldn't be more pleased about that and his love of yarn). He drives the same kind of vehicle we've had three of, so it looked at home in our driveway.
We have always loved all of Mandy's friends, and she has always shown immense practicality in every choice she has ever made, so we didn't waiver when, after sending him to BlockBuster for a video, Mandy told us he's on parole.
The short version, which is all there was time for yesterday, is that when he was 22yo and his teenage girlfriend was less than 18, they had sex. I don't know more than that right now. Anyway, their relationship went sour, and she revealed their intimacy. He was sentenced to four years in prison and six years on parole for the felony of sex with a minor.
DH and I know that any of our foolish youthful acts, such as driving drunk, could have changed lives forever, so we aren't going to sit in judgement. That has been done to Brian by the legal system, and that judgement affects his every waking moment. He can travel only to locations that have been pre-approved. We may now expect that at any time our phone may ring or the police may visit our home to check up on his whereabouts. He cannot attend events where children may be present. He must attend weekly meetings to discuss his sexuality. He is not allowed to use the Internet or email. If he wants to look up something from the Barnes & Noble website, as he did last night, someone else has to do that for him. He is regularly reminded that if he breathes the wrong way, he will be thrown back in prison (which is where he learned to crochet, BTW).
He has 4-1/2 more years on parole. Those of you who know how much we wanted Mandy to stay close to home will see the humor in her falling for this handsome anchor. She knows she can't take him to the places she's lived and worked: New Orleans and Orlando's Disney World. And it had to have been very hard for her to think through all of the ramifications and then tell us.
And how do I feel about this? Call me crazy, but I'm really happy with the kid who ate focaccia and watched TV with us last night. I see a kid who's a little broken, but worthy of love. If Mandy's ready to see him through, so am I. DH says he's "okay with the guy." Admittedly, I want to shape the young man, as a teacher would. I want to be able to expand his world as much I can.
Adding a whole other element of strange to this story: His younger brother is completing his schooling and is guaranteed a job at the industrial business that surrounds our property. The odds of this being the case, given the enormity of business in this part of the state, are crazy-freakish. If the brother could get a foot in the door, maybe the boyfriend could get a job there and earn a decent living, which is very, very difficult given his status and the economy right now.
So, he's not the answer to every mother's prayer right now. But he may be a worthy fixer-upper. Time will tell.
If any of you has insight, feel free to advise. And thanks for listening. I'm glad to have someone to talk to, and I don't plan to tell my "3-D" friends as I feel it's not my place to do so--that's up to Mandy and Brian.
)))
- , and to be honest, it's my turn to be a bit shocked.
Hey, I can be hot-headed.
Now you're making me all verklempt. 
