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God bless us all

post #1 of 28
7/11/09 at 3:27pm
Thread Starter 
Yesterday I met up with a friend who I haven't seen in such a long time. We had dinner and the usual 'catching up' with each other, and then I told him if he wanted to do a little shopping. We entered my local niche haven and began to sniff around. At first he wasn't interested at all, but when he saw the Dior (Eau Noire...) bottles, he was intrigued. When I told him that Eau Noire was my favorite of the three, he cautiously sprayed a bit of tester paper. "What the f@#$. Are you out of your mind?! It's smells like pepper! How the hell do you wear that?!" He was in utter disbelief, and I was in utter dismay. How can something that I love so much, can be hated so much by someone else? I know everybody has tastes and all, but this was pure hatred I proceeded to calm him down and explain to him terms like lavender, immortelle, syrupy, vanilla, smoky, "dark water", and on and on and on... He didn't understand any of the things (aside from vanilla), and just kept saying, "Dude! It smells like pepper!" I was so frustrated and felt a little out-of-place. I finally let it go and told him to smell the other two. He actually liked Bois d'Argent and said that it smelled "good". I asked him if he could smell the honey or the powdery iris. "What the hell are you saying man?" was his response. Of course, when I asked him about these notes, I explained to him what they were. I knew that from his response, he wasn't even slightly interested in fragrance.
That got me to thinking folks. I always took my knowledge and love of fragrance for granted. I always thought this was a hobby and not much else. But now I've realized that this is deep. Fragrance is not a hobby, nor an obsession which I have. Fragrance is a way of life and I have learned so much in the past two years. Sorry for rambling on, but I just wanted to say, Basenotes has become a second home to me. I commend you my fellow Basenoters for your knowledge and passion that you have for this art. Continue wasting your time and money on fragrance, and don't for one second question the love that you have for it. So to you my fellow Basenoters: God bless us all.
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post #2 of 28
7/11/09 at 3:55pm
That's an interesting read.

I started a thread a while ago talking about the fact that NO ONE I know has any interest in cologne, other than extremely casually, so I always start with the assumption that other people I may meet in my life will have no interest either.

That's why BNs is so important for most of us. It connects fragrance lovers with each other.
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post #3 of 28
7/11/09 at 4:43pm
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One of my oldest and bestest friends has recently developed such severe allergic reactions to any fragrance whatsoever I cannot wear anything even vaguely fragrant when we meet on occasion. This new development late in his life includes foods, clothing dyes, fragrances and just about anything you can think of.
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post #4 of 28
7/11/09 at 5:24pm
You are so right.....the general public could care less about fragrance.....We are a rare group of people that's for sure.....I would not even think of leaving the house without spraying something.....Fragrance is a part of me, a Big part.....Many people do not own a fragrance.....I don't understand this at all.....This is also why the mainstream scents are..... well......mainstream.....To Love and understand many of the Niche scents takes time and experience.....Thanks for this Great thread.
Gary
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post #5 of 28
7/11/09 at 5:28pm
The reaction of the OP's friend doesn't surprise me. Most guys don't seem to care about the composition of the fragrance or their subtleties. They are only interested in as to whether it smells good to them or not.
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post #6 of 28
7/11/09 at 6:13pm
Thanks for the story....And yes, God bless all,
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post #7 of 28
7/11/09 at 6:32pm
Good read.

Fragrances have a fashion / lifestyle / metrosexual image to 'ordinary' people. Scents sold in the stores are to make you 'smell good' or to have a spritz of 'Gucci / Chanel / Britney Spears' on yourself, a luxury. Smell is very abstract here, most people 'like it or they don't'.

The way Basenoters approach the smells, more concrete, dissecting notes, following drydowns, is unknown to ordinary people. That's why mass-market scents often smell 'perfumey' and niche scents - for the hobbyists and connaisseurs - more often have identifiable notes, more recognisable, but often harder to wear and to appreciate.

Yeah, it's hard to explain to other people.
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post #8 of 28
7/11/09 at 6:47pm
Re: God bless us all

Bah, Humbug!

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post #9 of 28
7/11/09 at 6:49pm
This was a good post.

One thing that struck me is that your friend seems to me to have been direspectful of your hobby.
It made you feel bad.

If a friend tries to tell me about a hobby or interest I try to: (1) be respectful, (2) show interest, (3) ask questions to increase my understanding and (4) not try to hurt my friend!
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post #10 of 28
7/11/09 at 7:46pm
I think that you are making another unwarranted assumption regarding your friend's reaction. You are assuming that he can smell and identify notes in the same way that you do, and that he doesn't care.

However, from the sounds of it, your friend is like me and can't readily identify notes. Therefore, he is extremely unlikely to be taken by particular scents the way that you are. The "smell good" criterion is far more important to him than the artistry, complexity, composition criteria are to you.

Being relatively "note blind" like I am, I rarely get confused in comparing scents, the way people who are much better than me seem to be so easily confused, as evidenced by the numerous X is exactly the same as Y threads we have here, when the scents smell nothing alike, but have a couple of common notes.

I'm sure that your friend could get interested in scents, but he'll rarely see individual ones the way you do.
Regards,
Renato
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post #11 of 28
7/11/09 at 8:07pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by scentsitivity View Post

This was a good post.

One thing that struck me is that your friend seems to me to have been direspectful of your hobby.
It made you feel bad.

If a friend tries to tell me about a hobby or interest I try to: (1) be respectful, (2) show interest, (3) ask questions to increase my understanding and (4) not try to hurt my friend!

That's exactly what I thought.
I have friends who doesn't show interest in fragrance, but they respect my hobby and some even *admire* my taste. :P

Kudos for OP, too.
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post #12 of 28
7/11/09 at 8:31pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by G.303 View Post

You are so right.....the general public could care less about fragrance.....We are a rare group of people that's for sure.....I would not even think of leaving the house without spraying something.....Fragrance is a part of me, a Big part.....Many people do not own a fragrance.....I don't understand this at all.....This is also why the mainstream scents are..... well......mainstream.....To Love and understand many of the Niche scents takes time and experience.....Thanks for this Great thread.
Gary

Agreed G.303. I can't leave the house...ever...without spraying on a fragrance. Just not me to do that. Even before registering on Basenotes, I had to have that Drakkar Noir ( apologies to the Canadian public ) or Polo Blue spritzed on.

Although I will disagree with the last statement. I could say there are just as many "mainstream" frags that take as much "... time and experience..." as niche. As well, many just take a couple of wearings. It is just a fragrance after all and not a dense piece of literature ( just my opinion)

Having said that, keep on spraying. Enjoy what you wear. And most importantly, if a friend does not appreciate fragrance, crush him with an iron fist
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post #13 of 28
7/11/09 at 10:26pm
None of my female friends are interested in the least on my hobby.
Once in a while they will comment on something, but usually they don't.
My husband lets me be and lately lets me spary some perfumes on him.
He owns Kuorus (even before meeting me), Nemo and a couple of others.
I have sprayed him with Straight to Heaven and Cruel Intentions and they smell nicer on him than me.

I am really happy to be a member of Basenotes. You are the only people who really understand my love of perfume.
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post #14 of 28
7/11/09 at 10:57pm
I think we've got an obsession, and see (smell) vibrant life and insight in something special in the world. Other people don't see it, or have their own way of seeing special vibrant elements in other things in the world. In antique baskets, heaven forbid, for example.
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post #15 of 28
7/11/09 at 11:04pm
Basenotes - it's mostly a rare peaceful island for me - my country's political and economical situation doesn't leave me too many such places...
As to the scents themselves: they are nice additions to my life just like music, poems. No groundbreaking, just life is easier to live with them.
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post #16 of 28
7/11/09 at 11:07pm
Has anyone read Evan S. Connell's short novel "The Connoisseur"? It's about a guy who absorbs and develops a fascination with pre-Columbian art, but really, it's about us.
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post #17 of 28
7/11/09 at 11:15pm
We Are All Part of The Alien Nation.
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post #18 of 28
7/11/09 at 11:47pm
Great thread. Over the course of half a century I have delved into and maintain an interest in a number things (Including scent and fragrance) e.g. contemporary (20th Century) Japanese literature, specific musical eras (Impressionists in Paris early 20th C, Shanghai Divas 1930s etc.) I won't bore you with the rest.

Bottomline, I never bring these up - I work on the assumption that absolutely no-one is interested and every now and then life turns up a pleasant surprise in the form of a friend or aquaintance who is.

With regard to scent, that's why I enjoy being here and really appreciate the conversation and open mindedness. I also concur with scensitivity and if on the other side of the fence try to show some respect and interest for stuff my friends and family might be into at any given time . . . why not, that's how I learn? Some people just prefer to stay in a limited, safe space, I guess.
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post #19 of 28
7/12/09 at 2:21am
Let us be blessed indeed.

I've touched up on this or a very similar subject in many of my threads and talked quite often about the fact that, apart from my friends who are Basenoters, most of my acquaintances and buddies think that this truly unique hobby called perfume (although they have some "guilty pleasures", e.g. some "closeted" perfume bottles) think that it's all just a vice, a pathological waste of cash and the actual reason why I won't "get anywhere in life", because this vice is too strong. Oh well, sorry for getting off-topic, but I won't ever give up my perfume hobby, even if the pressure to do so might be intense...
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post #20 of 28
7/12/09 at 5:27am
I have tired to get some friends interested in fragrance. Some show some interest - so I spend some time discussing it with them. But the majority of them don't really care, so I don't waste my time trying to "convert" them.

But fragrance will always be a BIG part of my life!
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post #21 of 28
7/12/09 at 5:47am
Nice story, but you have to have patience and assume your explaining deeper aspects of perfumery to people that won't have a clue. If you were a teacher and were teaching ..I don't know Geography for example, you would try your best to approach your students at an angle they may like or at least respect the topic. Assume Fragrances are a subject and need to be taught like anything else-use the wrong angle and the audience won't be interested.

So far I have one friend that is interested in fragrances, he was mildly interested until we tried Jo Malone's Pomegranate Noir in a department store. Just because he liked the fruit and the fragrance was mildly similar he took to fragrances a lot more, it was pure chance and it wasn't our first time testing perfumes either.
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post #22 of 28
7/12/09 at 6:30am
Quote:
Originally Posted by petruccijc View Post

I have tired to get some friends interested in fragrance. Some show some interest - so I spend some time discussing it with them. But the majority of them don't really care, so I don't waste my time trying to "convert" them.

But fragrance will always be a BIG part of my life!

Id have to say the same thing. Two of my friends I feel comfortable discussing fragrances with, the rest I wouldn't ever bring it up. Luckily my girlfriend and her sister both support and enjoy my 'fragrance habit,' and it has even rubbed off a little on them - I got my girlfriends sister from wearing $10 'nanna' fragrances to Tom Ford Black Orchid
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post #23 of 28
7/12/09 at 6:39am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Aerandir4 View Post

If you were a teacher and were teaching ..I don't know Geography for example, you would try your best to approach your students at an angle they may like or at least respect the topic. Assume Fragrances are a subject and need to be taught like anything else-use the wrong angle and the audience won't be interested.

Yes! This is so true. Whenever the topic of fragrances comes up (strangely enough!) in conversation amongst my peers, I instantly have to hold myself back. Rather than explode with information and jargon-filled treatise, as I may with fellow passionate Basenoters, I instead gauge the audience and give small snippets of information.

I usually tend to focus on one common note that all can relate to (e.g. lavender or jasmine) and then one slightly vague (such as oakmoss). I give brief explanations using very known and accessible fragrances -like CK Eternity.

It's easy to observe if I am making progress when I find myself answering questions on the subject rather than enduring the shifty-eyed silence of a lost audience...

...it's usually the latter.
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post #24 of 28
7/12/09 at 7:18am
Good read. People say that I have a strange taste for scents...
I was wearing Arabie some time ago and someone commented if my perfume had gone bad.
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post #25 of 28
7/12/09 at 7:49am
Since I told my co-worker about my fragrance hobby, he is learning new words like anosmia and castoreum, lol. I think he is more interested in the science part of it, such as chemical compositions, etc. I try to keep it light, and it is great he asks alot of questions. Of course, learning that his wife is really into it too (which he previously did not know) is probably a benefit He arranged a swap with his wife last week...

My family doesn't care, but have been supportive. I got some antique fragrances that they did not want any more. Most of them do not like any of my iris-based scents, though. It's the "old lady perfume thing". My sister actually has a very good nose, but doesn't care to identify notes. She smelled chocolate immediately in Borneo 1834. It took me several wearings to finally get that note!

It is really sad that the OP's friend felt he had to ridicule him. Some friend, eh? Perhaps the guy felt uncomfortable or threatened, but still--he could have handled it differently.
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post #26 of 28
7/12/09 at 9:45am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ken_Russell View Post

a pathological waste of cash and the actual reason why I won't "get anywhere in life"

You have no idea how many times I've got this myself, from my girlfriend even -- she does love and wear fragrances, but nowhere near as much as me
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post #27 of 28
7/12/09 at 10:18am
Cameras, watches and now perfume are some of my hobbies

I usually don't talk about these unless someone starts to talk about them and I just listen to what there level of understanding is.

Same goes for watches - I am working for this firm for about 2 years now - only one person asked me about my watch cause he is into it as well - so we are buddies now.
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post #28 of 28
7/12/09 at 11:56am
Thanks for the post Scent, I truly feel what you are going through. The other day my dad said something like "so what's with all the stinky perfume" and I got really offended for a few seconds before I realized that a lot of masterpiece fragrances can smell like nothing more than "perfume" to those who don't appreciate/love/obsess about fragrance. At the same time, my sister, who doesnt know much of anything about perfume fell in love with Eau Noire when I let her smell it, so it all depends on who I guess.

I personally love Eau Noire too with all my heart... but I love this community even more
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