Basenotes › Basenotes Forums › Fragrance Discussion › Male Fragrance Discussion › MFD Archive › Scent for a sad time...
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

Scent for a sad time...

Poll Results: Is it appropriate to Wear a cologne to a Funeral

 
  • 78% (40)
    Yes
  • 21% (11)
    No, Not at all, Just wash up and wear a suit
51 Total Votes  
post #1 of 35
1/18/10 at 4:01pm
Thread Starter 
We have talked about scents for so many happy occasions but what about the more dark dismal occasions... I don't know how else to put it but... What is appropriate to wear for funerals... I probably wouldn't wear one or if i did it would be subtle and soft spoken frag...

Although in my family we are to look at death as not a sad time but a time to be happy for the one who is moving on...

I do think that it may be appropriate to wear a cologne at a funeral but i would not know what to wear
Reply
Reply

Features on Basenotes

Petals Falling From The Sky - A Report From The Cote d'Azur's Bataille De Fleurs
Basenotes Reader Awards 2013 - Finalists Announced.
Greatest Hits: Annick Menardo
post #2 of 35
1/18/10 at 6:22pm
I try not to wear fragrance during turbulent times. I would not want to create any associations or sense memories. It could bring up those feelings again whenever you put the fragrance on again.

Your post makes me think of "Black March" from CB/I Hate Perfume. The designer was inspired to create the scent after attending a burial in a Long Island cemetery. It suggests green frozen grass, dirt, and a hint of flowers emerging from the winter thaw. It's amazing but also amazingly melancholy.
Reply
Reply
post #3 of 35
1/18/10 at 6:36pm
I was going to ask the same question yesterday, as I had a funeral to attend. I am of the belief that there is a scent for every occasion, so I wore Black Aoud - but I went easy.
Reply
Reply
post #4 of 35
1/18/10 at 6:38pm
Thread Starter 
I agree that it could create a sense memory... but it depends on the death... if it is a tragic death of any sort like an accident then i wouldnt wear one...

But the sense memory could be a good thing... if my mom died i would be wearing a cologne that she liked and it would remind me of her all the time when i wear it... so it could be good thing...

It depends on how you look at it
Reply
Reply
post #5 of 35
1/18/10 at 6:43pm
i have a 1 oz of drakkar noir and the only occasion i can see myself wear it is at a funeral...
Reply
Reply
post #6 of 35
1/18/10 at 6:44pm
Depends on who died. Someone I don't know and don't care about, I'd rock whatever, just another day. If it was someone I was close with, I don't think I'd be in a mood for any scent.
Reply
Reply
post #7 of 35
1/18/10 at 7:02pm
You don't go to a funeral to draw attention to yourself, so no, I don't think it's appropriate at all.
Reply
Reply
post #8 of 35
1/18/10 at 7:06pm
Top on such a list would be something the departed enjoyed smelling on you, regardless of what others might think. However, nothing that you know the deceased wore himself or herself, if it can be avoided.

Otherwise, probably something traditional, somber, quiet.

Knize Forest - maybe one of the more somber fougeres I've tried
CdG Kyoto, Hinoki - minimal projection, quietly beautiful


If the symbolism works for you, BPAL does have an entire Ars Moriendi line. Deep In Earth and Midnight, among others, include notes associated with death or grieving.

Then again, I might just wear Knize Ten or some other scent I find personally comforting.
Reply
Reply
post #9 of 35
1/18/10 at 7:16pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by MassMenace View Post

You don't go to a funeral to draw attention to yourself, so no, I don't think it's appropriate at all.

Yea of coarse... but something subtle would be ok... or something the departed liked... like i said if my mom died i would wear one that she liked and use it to remember her
Reply
Reply
post #10 of 35
1/18/10 at 7:28pm
What a great way of saying, "I'm here thinking about me."
Reply
Reply
post #11 of 35
1/18/10 at 7:32pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by strifeknot View Post

What a great way of saying, "I'm here thinking about me."

figured this would be said...
Reply
Reply
post #12 of 35
1/18/10 at 7:37pm
  • KMF
  • offline
  • Gender:
I wouldn't wear a scent for the simple reason of having that scent associated with a sad / tragic event in my life... That being said, I don't think it's inappropriate to wear a fragrance to a funeral. Just make sure it's discreet and applied lightly...
Reply
Reply
post #13 of 35
1/18/10 at 7:41pm
Agreed, discreet and lightly
Reply
Reply
post #14 of 35
1/18/10 at 8:11pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by MassMenace View Post

You don't go to a funeral to draw attention to yourself, so no, I don't think it's appropriate at all.

Quote:
Originally Posted by strifeknot View Post

What a great way of saying, "I'm here thinking about me."

You guys obviously didn't see the Wedding Crashers.

"Grief is natures most powerful aphrodisiac".
Reply
Reply
post #15 of 35
1/18/10 at 8:43pm
Bvlgari Pour Homme Soir

Dark, somber, and discreet....
Reply
Reply
post #16 of 35
1/18/10 at 9:17pm
Wearing a scent is like wearing clothing, one wears in good taste what is respectful as an accessory to the total outfit.
Reply
Reply
post #17 of 35
1/18/10 at 9:22pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by nsamadi View Post

You guys obviously didn't see the Wedding Crashers.

"Grief is natures most powerful aphrodisiac".

It's funny you say that, because I was thinking of that exact scene when I was typing! :-D
Reply
Reply
post #18 of 35
1/18/10 at 9:37pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by N_Tesla View Post

Wearing a scent is like wearing clothing, one wears in good taste what is respectful as an accessory to the total outfit.

Precisely
Reply
Reply
post #19 of 35
1/18/10 at 10:01pm
In my mind, in my culture, a death is both a time of sadness and grieving but also a moving on. It isn't all about sadness not should it be. We remember all the things we loved and will continue to treasure in the one who has left us.
I wore the cologne that most reminded me of my father at his funeral and, in time, if my mother goes before I do I will take out my bottle of Mitsouko, spray it onto my chest and white shirt (we Chinese mostly wear white at funerals) and both cry and smile inside my heart at all the things she taught me and instiled in me and all the love she gave me.
She discovered Mitsouko because I gave it to her.
She fell in love with it.
I can see no other way to say goodbye.
Reply
Reply
post #20 of 35
1/18/10 at 10:12pm
Narciso Rodriguez for Men has this "gray cloud" feel to it. That's the most depressing fragrance I've worn. The masochist within me leaves me pretty intrigued to wear it again this week (it's been raining lately).
Reply
Reply
post #21 of 35
1/18/10 at 11:33pm
I travelled to the Gold Coast in Australia late 2008 for my mother's funeral. I bought TdH at Duty Free on the way out on a whim and wore it for the few days I was there - it seemed to mirror the landscape, the light, the red earth and for some reason even the little church tucked away amongst the trees. Every time I wear it I think of her, it is a bright and positive reminder of those few days spent celebrating the life of a wonderful woman with cousins and friends I had not seen for a long time. Perhaps this is unusual - I don't know . . .
Reply
Reply
post #22 of 35
1/19/10 at 1:20am
I'd definitely appreciate one smelling appropriate for a posthumous event. Though, do use a frag that is vastly appreciated through a broad bunch! Some frags can even make people smile! Just choose the right one, even ring up and ask if it is appropriate...never hurts Remember to make sure they appreciate!


cheers and take care

- Balava
Reply
Reply
post #23 of 35
1/19/10 at 1:41am
I would definitely wear perfume, just something that sills very moderately.
Reply
Reply
post #24 of 35
1/19/10 at 1:47am
I guess that a fragrance is basically made to be worn on any occasion, yet this time I voted for no- in my personal opinion, I guess it's sometimes better to go fragrance-free on certain occasions, but this is just a very subjective personal outlook of mine.
Reply
Reply
post #25 of 35
1/19/10 at 3:15am
  • cpk
  • offline
  • Gender:
If the memory of the person recalls a specific scent then I think you should go ahead and remember him/her in your way.
Reply
Reply
post #26 of 35
1/19/10 at 3:49am
Quote:
Originally Posted by nsamadi View Post

You guys obviously didn't see the Wedding Crashers.

"Grief is natures most powerful aphrodisiac".

Nsamadi you will never stop amazing me !
Together with the posts you quoted it's the whole thing in a nutshell.
My (serious) answer would be - no rule! One argument can be as good as the other, depending on circumstances. I basically wear nothing, but I have also found out that Antaeus gave me enough strength to stretch out a supporting hand to others.
Reply
Reply
post #27 of 35
1/19/10 at 6:11am
Have attended two funerals in the last seven days,both ex work colleagues,and decided it wasn't appropriate to wear a scent.
I think that decision might also have been influenced by my short time as a Basenotes member in realising just how subjective the wearing of scent can be and also how inexperienced my nose is at this stage to trust not offending someone.
That said,at the most recent funeral in the warmth of the closely packed church congregation,I did notice the faint lingering scent of Creed Erolfa on my jacket which seemed ok.
Reply
Reply
post #28 of 35
1/19/10 at 1:53pm
I wore Aramis classic to my dad's funeral last year, mainly because it was his favourite frag. It's one of my faves too so i still wear it and, far from associating it with a sad occasion, it will always make me remember all the great times we had when he was alive. But it does depend on the relationship with the person - if it's a family member or friend then I would wear something that I think/knew that they liked to keep those good memories, but if it was a work colleague, acquaintance or distant relative then I would probably choose not to spritz on anything.
Reply
Reply
post #29 of 35
1/19/10 at 3:43pm
I would wear something light (Gendarme) or perhaps something that reminds me of that person....applied lightly of course.
Reply
Reply
post #30 of 35
1/19/10 at 4:08pm
Depends apon the person if I wear a scent and if I do its applied lightly.
Reply
Reply
post #31 of 35
1/19/10 at 4:23pm
"Boy I'm real sad that Johnny died but man did that one guy smell good" I don't see the point in wearing a fragrance to a funeral, I agree that it would come off as selfish and uncaring.
Reply
Reply
post #32 of 35
1/19/10 at 4:53pm
I think it's fine to wear a cologne to a funeral, but I think you have to be careful about which one you wear. It should be tasteful and appropriate for the occasion. I've found Polo Double Black to be a good choice.
Reply
Reply
post #33 of 35
1/19/10 at 7:45pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Captcrunch View Post

"Boy I'm real sad that Johnny died but man did that one guy smell good" I don't see the point in wearing a fragrance to a funeral, I agree that it would come off as selfish and uncaring.

It's so wrong but... i lolled a little...

I do wonder then... should you use scented soap and shampoo? most soap and shampoo is scented and you will give off a scent... so wearing a single spray of cuba red wouldn't be bad to go to a funeral... It's just how much you look at it.

If you just go single spray of vetiver, cuba red, eau sauvage or whatever and just not think about it... it is not selfish and uncaring... If you go and spend hours deciding how to smell maybe soo...

Jus my 2 cents
Reply
Reply
post #34 of 35
1/19/10 at 7:47pm
A nice Tuberose/Incense/Wood scent would be nice.
Reply
Reply
post #35 of 35
1/20/10 at 11:17pm
a spray of Passage D'Enfer, would be more than enough.
Reply
Reply
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: MFD Archive

Features on Basenotes

Petals Falling From The Sky - A Report From The Cote d'Azur's Bataille De Fleurs
Basenotes Reader Awards 2013 - Finalists Announced.
Greatest Hits: Annick Menardo
Basenotes › Basenotes Forums › Fragrance Discussion › Male Fragrance Discussion › MFD Archive › Scent for a sad time...