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SATIRE; Label some new frags, everyone`s waiting for!

post #1 of 53
3/29/10 at 1:04am
Thread Starter 
Hi basenoters,

brand-new fragrances, coming soon:

KOUROS EXTRAIT - for the special moments of a man´s live
A*MEN PURE SUGAR FREE - 98 %carb.red.
OLD QUORUM - back with original formulation, for jungle or cemetery use
JOOP FOR CATS MOYEN CONCENTREE - the same stuff now available for all! Limited edition!
FROZEN WATER 1K - the new aquatic, for all those who don´t have the courage to scent
NEW DILUTION - now still more diluted, for the sceptic person
LA NUIT DE BRUT DOUBLE CAN - 45,3 oz ; pour it, drink it
YATAGAN ORIGINAL - go veggie!
VAN CLEEF&ARPELS PH NOIR ABSOLUTE - that´s hardly possible
GIVENCHY 2*PI*r - the sweetness enfolds you

Go on and have a nice day..
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post #2 of 53
3/29/10 at 1:09am
Poison pour Homme - will knock you and yours dead!
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post #3 of 53
3/29/10 at 1:15am
Thread Starter 
yeaaah, gimme some..
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post #4 of 53
3/29/10 at 3:32am
Blenheim Bouquet pour Elle- the most formal and mature female frag ever made
Guerlinade Triple/Quadruple Vanille- so much pure vanilla, that it's only being sold against prescription, as vanilla overdosing was reported before
Knize Ten Extrait 200%- which means 100% pure civet concocted with 100% pure leather
Old Spice Cinnamon- pretty obvious, check your spice rack for more info
Kiehl's Citrus Oil- lemon juice so acid and so astringent, that it fights of any insect or even the smallest, best-adjusted, resistant bacteria, also suitable for extremely aggressive colds
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post #5 of 53
3/29/10 at 5:17am
L'Eau Standard - a new L'Eau for Guerlain
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post #6 of 53
3/29/10 at 6:12am
Azzaro CHROME Sports Rims - new with anti-rust formulation!

Yohji Homme Eau Legere - new sensual fragrance for that one-minute quickie. Lasts just as long...!

Antaeus Extreme Retro EDP - new with crowd-control accord. Party on like its 1989!
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post #7 of 53
3/29/10 at 6:31am
Your Insolence - for the perfect insolent individual
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post #8 of 53
3/29/10 at 6:39am
Mugler C*Men -- Sometimes smelling like chocolate just isn't enough.
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post #9 of 53
3/29/10 at 6:40am
Three scents I'm afraid we'll soon see:

-Acqua di Gio Sport (because everyone else is doing sport fragrances... why not Armani/L'Oreal?)
-L'Eau d'Issey Pour Homme Sport (Take above. Replace Armani with Issey Miyake/BPI.)
-Bond No. 9 LaGuardia Airport (The world's first commercial aviation fragrance)
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post #10 of 53
3/29/10 at 8:06am
Bond No. 9 - Long Island Garden Gnome
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post #11 of 53
3/29/10 at 8:49am
Bond No 9 Hudson River
Bond No 9 Jackson Heights (Indian shops/neighborhood in NYC)
A*Men Pure Cannabis
Montale Aoud Bois Musk Shiny Wild Red Flowers Absolu
Kouros Incontinence Extreme
Creed Original Gangsta
Dior - Family Jules
Dior Homme Sport Intense Cologne de Toilette
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post #12 of 53
3/29/10 at 9:19am
Black Aoud Extrait- When simply being dark just isn't enough.
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post #13 of 53
3/29/10 at 9:53am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Azsmells View Post

Kouros Incontinence Extreme
Creed Original Gangsta
Dior - Family Jules
Dior Homme Sport Intense Cologne de Toilette

Good ones!



Etat Libre d'Orange Fat Electrician Summer Sexy Beach Edition 2010
Hermes Un Jardin de L'Agriculture Industrielle - a modern addition to the Jardin series
Armani Unbreakable Code - you will be SO mysterious.
Clive Christian Eau de Eau - a bottle of purified water. No less than $500.
Bond no 9 Long Island Expressway - when you want to be ripped off and cut off.
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post #14 of 53
3/29/10 at 9:58am
A few more here:-

Etat Libre d'Orange Biggest Loser - when being fat costs an electrician his job.

Geoffrey Beene Brown Pants - what you wear when you're about to get fired.

Dior Warm & Fuzzy Poison - Always keep you warm & cozy. Care Bears not included.
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post #15 of 53
3/29/10 at 10:32am
Azzaro Nickel - because we need another Chrome, but yet not Chrome
Dior Escale de Hainan - Hainanese Coffee and coconuts because it cant get more tropical than that
Creed Acier Aurum - a more upscale and bling bling version of Acier Aluminium
Sean John I am Black - a blatant copy of Acier Aurum: what could be more bling than golden armor?
Guerlain Guerliande Muscinade Grande - because one signature base is just not enough. More tonka, anyone?
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post #16 of 53
3/29/10 at 11:18am
Thread Starter 
Not to forget:
PRADA CLYSTER L´HOMME - Eau je
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post #17 of 53
3/29/10 at 11:38am
Dior- Eau Michael Sauvage: The smell of partisan hatred.
Creed :Made by Olivier Creed for Ramses II, original label shown
Bond No. 9- Jersey Shore and Washington Heights
Le Labo- Offal 19
Stetson- Brokeback Mountain
Creed- Love In Black Holes: Enough violet nitrile to shred the time/space continuum.
Coty- Charles Manson's celebrity scent
Parfums d'Empire- Evil Empire: the smell of Cold War paranoia and oncoming nuclear winter
Burberry- White Cider and Cigarettes: For the Chav who has it all!
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post #18 of 53
3/29/10 at 6:07pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Azsmells View Post

Bond No 9 Hudson River
Bond No 9 Jackson Heights (Indian shops/neighborhood in NYC)
A*Men Pure Cannabis
Montale Aoud Bois Musk Shiny Wild Red Flowers Absolu
Kouros Incontinence Extreme
Creed Original Gangsta
Dior - Family Jules
Dior Homme Sport Intense Cologne de Toilette

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post #19 of 53
3/29/10 at 6:35pm
Creed vintage tabarome re-release, and pure cash for men, the essence of sex new fragrance for men and women by paco rabanne
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post #20 of 53
3/29/10 at 8:01pm
Creed Imperial Toilet Water - Now you can smell like Louis XIII's throne (which is actually his toilet)
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post #21 of 53
3/29/10 at 8:08pm
Smalto Full Choke Happy Ending Special Edition.
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post #22 of 53
3/29/10 at 8:23pm
Comme des Garcons - Ongles Acrylique
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post #23 of 53
3/29/10 at 8:38pm
Diesel Zero Plus Plus Plus Zero Zero - We'll be discontinued in no time.
Cuba Clear - We're out of colors..
Fahrenheit Absolutely Nothing Like the Others - The name says it all.
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post #24 of 53
3/29/10 at 8:56pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Diamondflame View Post

Azzaro CHROME Sports Rims - new with anti-rust formulation!

Nice, I'm not a fan of naming a fragrance after a metal, or an alloy.

As for myself,

Diesel - Fuel for Life Castrol Edition: twice as potent, 100% synthetic
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post #25 of 53
3/29/10 at 9:24pm
(Love all the new Bond fragrances!)

Timbuktoo – The first Duchaufour flanker
Mitsouko Noire – For the black sheep-ra among us
Grey Flannel Sheets – Hey hey hey: Violet leaf *can* be sexy!
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post #26 of 53
3/29/10 at 9:26pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by dustb View Post

smalto full choke happy ending special edition.

lol!!!
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post #27 of 53
3/29/10 at 9:37pm
Aqua Di Parma Asti Spumante -> This one you take to rehab with you.

Gendarme V - ABC Edition -> Lizard skin scent

Creed Creed -> One application and you become that pretentious pseudo grunge twit.

Aramis Hipster -> "Can't buy it, bro. PBR sixers are on sale at the Circle K. Ironic"
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post #28 of 53
3/29/10 at 9:42pm
Joop! Pour Homme Concentree - Specially formulated for biological warfare.
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post #29 of 53
3/29/10 at 9:51pm
Kouros Attar - The ONE that lasts at least a month.
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post #30 of 53
3/29/10 at 11:33pm
Haha, these are great, keep'em coming!
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post #31 of 53
3/29/10 at 11:42pm
Davidoff Cool Water Drought
Gucci pour homme One Hundred and Forty Seven
Bulgari Earl Grey Tea Decaf
Jean Paul Gaultier Le Eunuque
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post #32 of 53
3/30/10 at 12:57am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Zizanioides View Post

Parfums d'Empire- Evil Empire

Yes, yes, yes! But rather a fragrance built around a note of lightsaber plasma. Red-tinted juice, of course.

Great fodder for flankers. Dark Side Limited Edition: "Don't underestimate it."
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post #33 of 53
3/30/10 at 6:56am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr. Bon Vivant View Post

Yes, yes, yes! But rather a fragrance built around a note of lightsaber plasma. Red-tinted juice, of course.

Great fodder for flankers. Dark Side Limited Edition: "Don't underestimate it."

wait wait....

you forgot the limited edition hitler edition of the evil empire.
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post #34 of 53
3/30/10 at 7:00am
Quote:
Originally Posted by joey86 View Post

wait wait....

you forgot the limited edition hitler edition of the evil empire.

And there it is.
Goodnight everybody!
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post #35 of 53
3/30/10 at 5:44pm
Bond No 9 Bed-Stuy New York

Just a little visual to get ya in the mood -
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post #36 of 53
3/30/10 at 6:56pm
Zegna ZZZZZZZZ The world's most boring cologne.
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post #37 of 53
3/30/10 at 7:01pm
Joop Diabeetus. pure sugar enough for you to get your testing supplies and call liberty medical asap. it even has a picture of wilford brimley on the front
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post #38 of 53
3/30/10 at 7:50pm
Bond No. 9 Subway - Capturing the essence of urine and poverty
Tap Water by Davidoff - the smell of fluoride
A*Men Pure Bloody Mary - capture the cougar
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post #39 of 53
3/30/10 at 8:18pm
A*Men pure bubble gum, pure milk duds, pure diabetes and pure liquorish. Bond #9 the hudson river to capture the smell of the dirtiest river. Davidoff urine water, feel the stench of piss on your skin.
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post #40 of 53
3/30/10 at 8:25pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by mrclmind View Post

Comme des Garcons - Ongles Acrylique

ROTFL! These are great...I wonder where that thread I started went...

Femme Dandy (not to be confused with Femme de Dandy): inspired by the femme dandy, who is too terrifed to pick up a duelling pistol, obliging his second to fight for him. Very, very white floral scent.
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post #41 of 53
3/30/10 at 8:36pm
paco rabanne 1 billion the new fragrance for men so sweet that you will smell like a candy store. 50% real maple syrup
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post #42 of 53
3/31/10 at 12:16am
Davidoff Cool Water Boarding" IFRA regulations? This doesn't even follow the Geneva Convention! Dick Cheney Limited Edition
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post #43 of 53
3/31/10 at 12:38am
VETIVER MEDIOCRE BY FREDERIC MALLE - why be extraordinary when mediocrity has gotten you this far?
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post #44 of 53
3/31/10 at 12:44am
Quote:
Originally Posted by scentimus View Post

Bond No 9 Bed-Stuy New York

Just a little visual to get ya in the mood -

As a New Yorker who went to high school in Brooklyn, something really bothered me about that picture:

That strike zone is way too low.
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post #45 of 53
3/31/10 at 2:02am
Creed Commercial Water (the first Creed release after being taken over by Coty)
Joop! pour Homme Concentree Intense (because they can)
Sean John - I Am Vain (commercial honesty, finally)
Kouros Eau de Chat ([pronounced "O de shah" . translated - Cat Water] - the original juice, relabeled and calling it what it is)
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post #46 of 53
3/31/10 at 2:10am
Sean John I am moist
Sean John Give me money
Sean John Cheesecake

Joop Extreme intense radioactive #2 even stronger and longer lasting

Polo triple black
Polo quadruple black

Abercrombie and Fitch pansy

Fahrenheitt inferno

Angel men intense with extra chocolate and coffee mixed with more lavender and patchouli
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post #47 of 53
3/31/10 at 5:48am
Gucci by Gucci pour Homme by Gucci pour Homme IV pour Homme for Men III
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post #48 of 53
3/31/10 at 9:32am
LMOL... can suggest anything, except for the very lame Eau Civilisé by Dior - actually an acquatic eau de cologne that is so fleeting it won't last fifteen minutes, of course, sold at rocket high prices only in exclusive stores.
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post #49 of 53
3/31/10 at 10:42am
Dior: Fahrenheit 451: 10% of all sales go to fighting literacy!
Guerlain: Apres L’ondee, le Deluge
Etat Libre d'Orange Marketing Department on Acid
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post #50 of 53
3/31/10 at 11:09am
fahrenheit 911
sean jean forgettable
creed original ddt made for an un-named king supposedly he died while sniffing this wonderful fragrance, made from pure ddt this is literally to die for
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post #51 of 53
3/31/10 at 12:19pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Zizanioides View Post

Dior: Fahrenheit 451: 10% of all sales go to fighting literacy!
Guerlain: Apres L’ondee, le Deluge
Etat Libre d'Orange Marketing Department on Acid

ELdO Advertisers in the Creative Department on Meth, a flanker to your Marketing Department on Acid.
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post #52 of 53
3/31/10 at 6:36pm
D*Men- From the house that brought you Angel and A*Men. Comes their first foray into the satanic. And you thought A*Men was hell bottled.

Luke Warm Water- When the situation calls for being neither cool or hot, we've got you covered. WARNING: Passing whiffs may cause spontaneous yawning.
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post #53 of 53
4/1/10 at 12:09am
Bond no.9 Detroit: sweaty armpits and BO
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