I NEVER Get Complimented on ANY Cologne. :( Help!

Welcome to Basenotes Sillage Enthusiast - you are welcome with open arms .

I think those reviews online bragging about how many compliments men get are not to be taken too seriously. I think they are sometimes greatly overblown .

If it makes you feel better , I rarely get compliments -even comments - on what I am wearing. The last one was for La Prairie Cellular Body Spray !!! *LOL* The person who commented said it smelt very good. For Mitsouko - I had a mouthwash comment. C'est La vie. Just enjoy yourself.

Just wear the scents you like for yourself . it's just a bonus to get an compliment ,when you do. Forget trying to analyse yourself - I doubt it has to do with attractiveness ,events,age.

My 2 scents,that's all .

alot of people smell you but wont comment.
especially if the woman thinks the man wont tell them the fragrance.

maybe youre wearing too little/too much?
whats your fav frags and how many sprays?

i dont think theres an age difference with the women.. young girls are going to question because theyre new to the scene, then could completely ignore it because.. it may not be that important to them.. The older women would question because theyve grown a nose and interest as theyve gotten older, but then again have been exposed to so many male frags throughout life it could be unimportant.

if its a club scene, i figure the women there are exposed to so much chemical fummage, fragrance curiosity is probably at a low. what they want is a drink in their hand and good conversation/dance more than anything.

i would def think an attractive guy would get questioned more than an ugly guy. thats just my opinion.

im an athletic above average looking college kid and i only get compliments from dudes...i hate it

First of all, welcome on Basenotes

I can fully sympathize with what you are saying, because I belong myself to the "compliment underachiever"-men, but even when the rare compliments occurred during my life, it happened because of the most unusual frag-related choices, e.g. a cheapo male frag by Avon getting more compliments than an 100+ Euro price tag per bottle-frag.

So, in my humble and totally non-expert, informal opinion, compliments are a strange mechanism, as unpredictable as hard to track down/justify/explain. It has actually very little to do with your grooming, fashion tastes, fragrance choices, your looks or your personality in general- you may both wear the grandest frags and sport the most fascinating combination between the most attractive looks and the most complex personality, "the road towards compliments" (and I am neither trying to be funny nor sarcastic) is long and bumpy, with the most unexpected outcomes, usually almost completely independent from you and your efforts.

Still, continue testing and buying great frags- whatever YOU consider pleasant, nobody else but you- and, eventually, satisfactions much greater than compliments may come along, which, in turn, may be sources for future compliments.

I get compliments after peeling tangerines or when walking around with a cinnamon cappuccino from Starbucks.

Women (generally) aren't going to approach if you're a stranger.

You'll tend get more compliments in a bar because alcohol lowers inhibitions.

It can be paradoxical. I seem to be better at attracting girls when I'm wearing sweat pants cut offs and haven't shaved in a day.

^^ this dude speaks the truth.
out of all my frags, claiborne sport has been the most complimented.. it seems like people just light up around me when i wear it, people question it, and i consider it the most cheapie overly citrus, generic, aftershave like scent i have. and it projects like a MOFO.


if you take a look at the poll thread i made asking everyone here if they wear for themselves or not, you'll see alot of us just wear for ourselves and compliments are a bonus.
http://www.basenotes.net/threads/246...-or-for-Others

Welcome. Like others have said, it's other people, not you. In a lifetime of wearing fragrances, I have been complimented six or seven times. That's just the way it is for me and that's okay.

Any kind of honest compliment should be a good thing! Isn't it less typical for a guy to tell you that you smell great? At least you know you smell good enough to get compliments from a less likely(?) source. Feel flattered, sir!

Same here. Only fragrance compliment I ever received was from a woman I was already sleeping with. C'est la vie!

I think probably NOT getting comments is a good thing. I'm very sensitive to too much perfume, so only use a small amount myself. You probably are quite sensitive to odors, too. I think you probably have to be blasting sillage like crazy to get any sort of comments, positive or negative, because the source of the "nice smell" has to be unequivocally localizable to YOU. I wouldn't be able to stand that much scent. I suspect that your perfume may have a subconscious effect on others, even though they don't consciously smell it.

When I tell people that I make perfumes, they often say, "Really? But you never wear perfume?". I find that funny, because I do, every day. Sometimes I even reek of stuff that I've been working with, and I would think that others could smell it a block away. I don't care, since I don't wear perfume to get compliments.

Keep on doing what you're doing, and enjoy it.

I never get complimented except on rare occasions.

It doesn't really bother me. It's more of a prove to me that I haven't found the "ultimate fragrance" for my skin yet. Here in Belgium it is also very uncommon to compliment someone on his cologne.

I use it because it makes me feel good and it boosts my self confidence.

When I think about it I would rather not be complimented. It would actually be awkward for me.

When you smell really good you leave a special impression that won't fade quickly.

I think it has a lot to do with personality, situation, and appearance.

Now, don't get me wrong. These have nothing to do with being, acting, or looking like a GQ model. In fact, sometimes it's the opposite. Let me explain.

As far as personality goes: I think if we were to make a "perfect compliment getter", it would have to be someone outgoing, chill, and fun. These traits draw people in. They break the ice and deal well with a variety of situations. People, girls especially, can pick up on these things. Once others feel comfortable around you, or you give off a "nice person" vibe, you are much more (but no always) likely to get random compliments from strangers, friends, and family.

Situations matter as well: If you expect to get compliments going to a sporting event, at the gym, or at a concert you might be waiting a while. These are places where people go for a reason and are usually not interested in small talk except certain circumstances. Also, you sweat a lot at some of these. If you go to a small get together (new or old friends), a casual indoor event (even something like a poker game), or a date - you will likely be more prone to getting unsolicited compliments. These are times and places that warrant small talk, moderately close contact, and a relaxed atmosphere. Very important ingredients to the compliment concoction.

Appearance is important too, kind of: Sometimes just being extremely good looking will get you loads of attention and comments from strangers. This isn't common or likely, to be honest. People feel intimated by someone they feel is very attractive. You think, "They probably get hit on the time, there's no way they'd be interested in me." or "Someone like that would not want to be bothered with ANOTHER compliment." This has even been attested to by multiple celebrities. They say that you would think they'd be hassled all the time, but it almost never happens because of the mental stigma.

The same also goes for someone that appears to be intimidating. Is the average person likely to walk up to someone that looks like a biker, body guard, or former prison inmate and just small talk and compliment them? Doubtful. If you have the appearance of being "hard" or "badass" you are practically never going to get someone telling you that "you smell good", lol.


That's my thought process on it, anyway.

I think it's because hetero men will take a compliment as a sign,
that the girl is interested in him, or so the girls think.
I'm a gay man, and I get lots of compliments, it's safe for girls
to give them to me.
I wear heavy scents; Égoïste; Jaïpur; Hypnotic Poison, stuff like that,
and I get some 5-10 compliments a year.
Maybe you need to be bolder, and not just smell clean [Acqua di Gio],
but smell diferent and luxurious, get yourself noticed..!

usually the times i get compliments are by people i give a hug to or are real close to me. or i ask them to check a frag.

Hey! That's cheating!

I have received a few compliments over the years but not anything to write home about. I work with a large number of people and I always ask the ladies if they like what I am wearing that day. Surprising answers I get. It's fun. Some of the colognes that get rants and raves online, the girls at work think it sucks. I saw a review on Thierry Muglers Pure Malt and had to check it out. I received it and thought it was incredible. Every single lady at work did not like it. I really can't understand why, but that's the way it is, the ladies gave it a thumbs down, lol. I'm gonna wear it sometimes just for myself, lol. It is nice to hear the compliments. It would be nice to hear more.

Never getting complimented use to drive me crazy too...until I realized, although I often smell someone's perfume/cologne I rarely compliment them on it. Just because people aren't saying something doesn't mean they aren't noticing or enjoying it!

I think we should all make more of an effort to appreciate a good frag when we smell one!

I don't think that people really compliment other people on their cologne very often. I've gotten precisely one compliment myself, and I'm still not sure if it was a compliment or a communication that I'd put on a little too much. And I've only given one compliment, even though I'm perfume obsessed, because it always seems possible or even likely that my intention will be misunderstood.

I never get compliments about fragrances. It doesn't bother me, that's life. But I enjoy complimenting others about their fragrances or clothing every now and then.

Extremely rarely from strangers, though!
I'm with Stovaio - let's give compliments more.

Today I was helping a female customer and when I commented on her perfume, she seemed very pleased. I like making people happy so I think I'll keep this up...even though sometimes my friends give me a hard time about it.

Thousands of dollars down the line, and the first compliment I receive in years is on a day I'm wearing nothing, bar a two-dollar scented hair wax.

Moral of the story? Wear fragrance for your own enjoyment, and develop other elements of your personality if you want compliments.

You guys are too conservative in your applying if you never get compliments!
Of course nobody will notice if you only spray once or twice. Go bananas for
once; 4-6 sprays ... maybe even 8!

... wait a minute! Are all my compliments actually ppl trying to tell me, that I
wear too much perfume?! Hmm?! Human beings can be so strange at times!

lol, honestly I can't tell if your joking or not.

However, if you are being serious, 8 sprays is an incredible amount of any fragrance. Wouldn't you suffocate?

LOL!

I am actually dead serious.
My skin is dryer than sand in the Sahara during mid-day in June,
so parfume usually evapurate within a couple of hours after applying.

I conserquently spray some 4-8 times, sometimes more, and I'm love it.

--- EDIT ---

... depending on what juice I'm spraying with, of course!

lol, of course. Makes perfect sense.

Boring scary pants ... you cry about nobody compliments you,
but when somebody actually smells so ppl notice, you tease
him about it's too much! It's never too much, honey, well,
there is a big diference between 1 spray, to 4 sprays, to a
killer 20+ sprays!

And I mean this in the nicest way, of course!

lol...this reminds me of a Family Guy episode

I mainly wear perfume for myself. The only time I may "want" a compliment is when I'm with a young man I'm interested in. Currently, men love Alien on me. So, that's what I wear when I go out with a guy for the 1st time. I am a very heavy sprayer. I have only had one person to tell me that I had on too much and that was when I was wearing Creed's Fleurissimo(sp). It was a bit much lol. I don't spray as much with that one anymore lol. I do get complimented often though. I get the most compliments from Alien, So In Love, and Coromandel. For those that know me, I get the "she always smells good" comment. I will admit that I like to get compliments, but it wouldn't bother me if I didn't. As long as I can smell it and it smells good to me and on me, then I'm good.

^ Good article on frag longevity too diva. I've been using your application tips.

Why do you call yourself Ruth Snashall, Geikamir?! Don't be embarrest!

See, guys! I told you so!

LOL! How'd you know?!?

How true. People tell me I look like I belong in the Velvet Underground (I like black and I wear large shades). Not conducive to spontaneous discussions about how great I smell.

I would suggest that genuine compliments of any kind are all too rare in these United States. Between the antiseptic American ideal of presentability and the deeply ensconced notion of personal space--alas, no besitos or abrazos--everything seems to like a lawsuit waiting to happen (I'm look at you, Motown). My remedy for this is to radiate warmth, as opposed to being merely civil, in my dealings with others. Give, and ye shall receive...or something like that.

On the infrequent occasions I smell something I really like on a woman, I take care to compliment her good taste. I found myself alone in an elevator with an attractive lady wearing Aromatics Elixir one evening last week. Since I recognized it, I complimented her choice of perfume and the fact that she wore it well. I tell you, the smile on that woman's face could have lit a city block.

As ChickenFreak suggested, the concern that complimenting a guy on his scent could be misconstrued as interest of a deeper nature often likely outweighs the desire to say something nice to someone at all. And since guys will use all sorts of lame excuses to scam on chicks, I don't begrudge women their ladylike silence.

Besides, I tend to assume that the nexus of my discerning taste in fragrances with my exceptionally masculine natural scent is what leaves them speechless.

Brilliantly put.

I tend to compliment people on their smell to make them smile and feel better, and it seems to work.

Regards,
P

Thanks for taking the time to read it. I hope that my tips have helped you enjoy wearing cologne even more.

Yeah, Drakka Noir is vile issen't it? ... no offence anybody!

I am a heavy sprayer too, my skin eats up frags. I rarely get compliments, but when I do it is usually when I have hugged someone.

I hardly ever give compliments and so I agree with what others have said; I think that I should be more generous with my own genuine nice comments when I notice something that I like on other peeps.

I agree with all the comments that say that people just don't make these sorts of personal comments as much as they used to, as if it's become politically incorrect to make such a comment or even notice personal things. But I also agree that you really have to apply enough for a bit of sillage, and you need to wear a fragance that conveys more than "I just took a shower."

However, I think where you are and what you're doing can also make a difference. I live in Milwaukee and can count on one hand how many compliments I've received on my fragrance, oh...I'd say in the last ten years. But I'm in New Orleans at the moment, and I've collected six wonderful comments in the last week from strangers about how good I smell, "damn fine" in one instance! (L'Instant, Loukhoum and Coromandel seem to be crowd favorites.)

Y'all are right - we should always comment when we smell something nice on others, and if we're sincere they shouldn't be paranoid about the fact that we can smell it - that's the point after all. I've never second-guessed a fragrance compliment - I think it would be obvious if someone was just dropping a hint, and they wouldn't need to say that they like it - it would be more like, "Is that your perfume I'm smelling?" or the general "What's that smell?" would do the trick. At any rate, I really don't think anyone would be complimentary unless they actually like it, even if it is a bit on the stronger side.

If in doubt you can always ask a friend if it's too much or too little, but I think you should wear it for yourself, and wear whatever amount pleases you and makes you comfortable (within reason, of course.) Compliments are great, but they're icing.

Sillage Enthusiast,

Do you wear scent as one form of receiving attention from women? As a woman I would be reluctant to comment on a stranger's scent lest it be interpreted as a come on. Your compaint also strikes me that you are stuck on yourself. Most fragrance enthusiasts were scent to please themselves. I suggest you do the same. No umbrage inended...just my opinion. Though I love fragrance for myself, it has never been just cause for me to be initially attracted to a man.

Evangeline makes an excellent point. I live in Seattle, where people won't even make eye contact, let alone say something to a stranger. When I've had compliments on a scent that I was wearing, it was in Europe or on the US East Coast. When I was in New Orleans I had more conversations with random people in a week than I have in Seattle in a year (and in Seattle I always have to initiate it).

My other theory is that most Americans are bombarded with scent from their detergents, deodorants, and air "fresheners" 24 hours a day, so they can't detect real perfume even when it hits them in the nose.