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When Ad Copy Goes Bad! ( Warning: Purple Prose Within )

post #1 of 16
5/3/10 at 5:08pm
Thread Starter 
Ad copy in fragrances has a tendency to go overboard in its praise and sometimes a little too "imaginative" in its descriptions of the juice.

Please feel free to contribute your own, but I'll start off with my current favorite, Nez a Nez's description of their Marron Chic...

"The iris grows from a cocoa soil. The flower has a word to say.
The chocolate emperor accompanies her as a shadow.
He is her Pigmalion. Delicacy woos strength. A mixture of powders, a flower on the tip of a cannon. It is a white flag on the shoulders of a prestigious army.
The actors of this perfume admire one another. Iris moves freely and her roots enjoy the fresh soil.
No need to force the harmony, the wisdom is exquisite."

*puff* *rattle of bongos* Oh, man... That is DEEP.
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post #2 of 16
5/3/10 at 5:17pm
LOL! And one top of everything else, PIGmalion instead of Pyg-- truly they are casting their prose pearls before swine.
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post #3 of 16
5/3/10 at 5:22pm
Ah, sublimely ridiculous. Love it.
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post #4 of 16
5/3/10 at 5:38pm
Thalia- stop! your comment made me pee my pants
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post #5 of 16
5/3/10 at 5:56pm
*LOL* ROFL - anyone want to puke with me ? Honestly, talk about 'OTT'
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post #6 of 16
5/3/10 at 6:05pm
I remember an old Lucy show, where the neighbour talked about Piggy-million. Just about as enlightened.
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post #7 of 16
5/3/10 at 6:17pm
J. Peterman started it all. Everyone rips him off. It is truly royal purple prose!
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post #8 of 16
5/4/10 at 12:28am
@ Galamb_Borong: Thanks for making my morning! You might want to add a disclaimer: "Caution: Do not read while drinking hot beverages." You nearly got me.

Here's some authentic J Peterman:

The Small Island of Dominica. Columbus discovered it, named it, and left it alone. It's north of Martinique. And it is the home, since 1907, of a very good West Indian Bay Rum manufactured under the Dominica brand-name.

Bay Rum has a fairly quiet scent, less strong than anything called perfume, less strong than anything called aftershave, but not so quiet as to be boring. It is, in fact, quite sexy.

It is sexy the way skin begins to smell from strong sun, salt water, steel drums, breaking waves, moving palm branches and giggling coming from somewhere.

Men liked Bay Rum long before 1907, when the Dominica brand started. Men have liked Bay Rum since Spanish Main days. They like it for the least complicated reason in the world: it smells good.

A decent gift which often turns into a lifetime habit.


Alas, Nez a Nez wins this time.
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post #9 of 16
5/4/10 at 4:44am
Kind of makes you wish that one of the houses (it'd probably have to be a niche house - the designer folk would never go for it) would just have something like "Smells like ass. But at least it's different."
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post #10 of 16
5/4/10 at 5:38am
You made my morning, Galamb. Nez a Nez looks like the undisputed purple prose champion, and their website is a treasure trove of goofy gems. "Armenia in accordion is consumed. . .The shyness becomes the Minotaur."
"the black sun slowly burns a sacrificed citrus fruit"
It's like they ran their ad department's submissions through a Markov chain generator.
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post #11 of 16
5/4/10 at 8:02am
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr. Bon Vivant View Post

...giggling coming from somewhere...

If my fragrance induces giggling in those around me, it's a bad sign.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Zizanioides View Post

"Armenia in accordion is consumed. . .The shyness becomes the Minotaur."

Oh my... That one just may be my new favorite.

"The captivating dampness of a vault, a stairway made of stone. Going down, entering. Boxes, canvases and books, all scribbled on. A Caribbean chest, already explored. Pencils and broken leads like a garrison. A paint brush in the shape of a star, another in a glass. An abandoned wedge of lemon. A suave scent, raspberry wine, and a leather couch. Drapes to paint on. A candle. The artist scrutinizes, he draws. Shadows waver. Glimmers sublime the peculiar mood.

The humility becomes a Minotaur on the wall. Armenia in accordion is consumed. The smoke embraces the incense to crawl along the stone and saltpeter. The muse gives away her colours and her spirit watches the flame.

A nervous blade submerges into the paint. Shyness unites with the Minotaur. "
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post #12 of 16
5/4/10 at 8:18am
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For their Bouche Baie:

"..In this blend, generous and benevolent, our berries do the Indian swim and whisper marmalade stories in a bath of flowers."

heady stuff, this..worthy of a Percy Dovetonsils or a Leonard Pinth-Garnell
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post #13 of 16
5/4/10 at 10:16am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Thalia View Post

LOL! And one top of everything else, PIGmalion instead of Pyg-- truly they are casting their prose pearls before swine.

Unbelievable. Thanks to Galamb Borong for starting this thread and to Thalia for the comment that sent me ROFLMAO!
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post #14 of 16
5/5/10 at 6:47pm
This is hilarious!

Yes, ad copy can be incredibly funny.
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post #15 of 16
5/5/10 at 9:12pm
Where these originally in French or something? It's like some bad translation.
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post #16 of 16
5/10/10 at 9:14pm
Expensive, cheap, mainstream, niche - it ALL sounds kind of like that, if less so. I don't know if I've ever read a frag blurb that was actually more informative and clever than not. Instead:

"Our world-class artisans have meditated to create this once-in-a-lifetime blend. Sexy. Fresh. Uniquely beautiful. Notes of translucent oudh, pink flowers, cashmere, and several different types of water make this a daring new take on the classic chypre. The highest mountain in Peru."
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Basenotes › Basenotes Forums › Fragrance Discussion › Fragrance Industry and General Fragrance Discussion › When Ad Copy Goes Bad! ( Warning: Purple Prose Within )