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Does your partner appreciate perfume?

post #1 of 27
9/7/10 at 12:06pm
Thread Starter 
l'm interested to know just how many basenoters have partners who share their obsession or even appreciate scent to any degree? My partner will only wear Eternity for Men & has resisted all attempts to get him to appreciate anything else. Can anyone suggest anything that might help change his mind?
He is tolerant of my hobby but doesn't like a lot of my choices, saying l smell like an old lady even when wearing something fresh & modern like Estee Lauder's Tuberose Gardenia! The only thing he loves on me so far is Allure, which l think is pleasant but not interesting enough to wear every day. He also thinks Montale's lntense Tiare is "ok". l try to educate him about different notes, eg. what vanilla or coconut smells like, but he doesn't get it. ls it possible for some people to smell things in a completely different way to the rest of us? l realise this sounds like a letter to an agony column, but... please help!!!
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post #2 of 27
9/7/10 at 12:14pm
My husband never used to wear fragrance but over the past 6 years or so, he has come to have a modest wardrobe, including some niche scents, that he adds to now and then. It was either that, or die of boredom when we're shopping, so he chose to adapt!

Now when I visit perfume counters, he sniffs right along with me. Even my teenaged daughter is finally starting to come around.

Your partner may never be interested in knowing the notes but if he likes Allure, maybe try something not too dissimilar, and branch out from there until there are a number that he appreciates on you. Baby steps.
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post #3 of 27
9/7/10 at 12:29pm
When I took my significant other scent shopping, he clearly had some dislikes, but other than that he wasn't very particular: because it was I whom he was wearing perfume at all for, in the end it was my decision.
I feel like educating my SO about the subtleties of fragrance would fall in the category of him trying to educate me about the different amounts of synthetic ingredients in various brands and grades of oil for an oil change and their significance to workings of the motor.
Look at the bright side: happy is a man who has found the one fragrance he can wear forever (as long as it's not discontinued!! lol).
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post #4 of 27
9/7/10 at 12:31pm
He doesn't have a choice...
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post #5 of 27
9/7/10 at 12:40pm
He tries his best, since he knows how important it is to me. Ambers are easy for him to like, but his favorites are:
SL Arabie
Kenzo Ca Sent Beau

I have a little collection of around a dozen he chooses from every night. He sprays only his chest. The same number of sprays, no matter what the fragrance. Gotta love him!
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post #6 of 27
9/7/10 at 12:51pm
He "tolerates" my obsession hobby. He still thinks a lot of the fragrances I like are "weird sh*t". Although he has learned to appreciate some "finer" fragrances other than the Curve and Chrome he wore when we first met.
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post #7 of 27
9/7/10 at 1:15pm
Yeah, she loves it. But she likes to smell it and wear it rather than talk about it beyond the basic info.
(good thing, really). I doubt I'd like being with someone who doesn't like fragrances. But a lot of people just need the right person to turn them on to sensual things.

There aren't many intensely sensual people who don't like things that smell good. But most people are pretty disconnected, and they often never know what they really like.
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post #8 of 27
9/7/10 at 1:23pm
I tend to lure them into it, to be honest.
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post #9 of 27
9/7/10 at 1:25pm
My husband used to wear fragrance (for "going out", i.e. special occasions, parties and dinners out), but since my fragrance hobby began he hasn't worn any. At all. I've bought him bottles over the past couple of years that he's never even taken a sniff of. I think I've totally burned him out on fragrance. Recently, however, he gave me a rare compliment on Fracas edp, which I hadn't worn in a long time. He said, "That smells nice. It smells the way ladies' perfume is supposed to smell, not like musky men's colognes or fruits." I guess it's the modern style that turns him off. He prefers the classics on me, and nothing at all on himself now. He tolerates my interest, though, and he asks me how the Basenoters are doing when he sees I'm perusing the site. And when I told him how nice F. Malle was when he sent me a handwritten note and samples (a while back now), my husband said I should order from them. And the same with Annick Goutal, because they were so pleasant when we visited one of the boutiques in Paris. So he loves Annick Goutal fragrances now. It's not the idea of fragrance that turns him off - he's actually quite sentimental - it's just the way most fragrances smell today that offends him.
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post #10 of 27
9/7/10 at 2:48pm
My husband is totally not into fragrance but he tries to drum up enthusiasm for my perfumes. He does go 'gaga' over Carnal Flower - that's the one he loves the most. If I wear Carnal Flower ,he loves to sniff and inhale .
He can't really tell the difference between most fragrances I wear though..... sometimes, it's an advantage.
For himself - I have bought him scent and given him decants to wear and he does wear them now but he often forgets to wear scent at all .
My son does love fragrance- following Mama ,no doubt.
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post #11 of 27
9/7/10 at 4:36pm
Yes!!! My Wife Loves fragrance.....I had to work on Her at first but I won Her over quickly.....That was many years ago.....She always Loved fragrance but Loves it even more now!!! In December we will be married 31 years!!!
Gary
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post #12 of 27
9/7/10 at 4:57pm
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No, she didn't. But..

thanks to what ever powers that be I no longer have to put up with the flying monkeys, waterless showers, funerals for sisters-in-law crushed by falling houses and threats to Toto or my wardrobe
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post #13 of 27
9/7/10 at 4:59pm
Nope, not even a little. He comments very rarely, and usually before asking me to run some sort of errand.
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post #14 of 27
9/7/10 at 5:17pm
Nope,mine either,although he does like Coco Mademoiselle(real challenging scent,I know!)and his mood is instantly lifted everytime he sprays on his Dior Fahrenheit.
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post #15 of 27
9/7/10 at 5:32pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by petruccijc View Post

He "tolerates" my obsession hobby. He still thinks a lot of the fragrances I like are "weird sh*t". Although he has learned to appreciate some "finer" fragrances other than the Curve and Chrome he wore when we first met.

LOL! JC, I have a DH who tolerates my perfume "obsession," too! I have given him an appreciation of YSL Opium PH, L'Occitane Cade and Lavender, T&H 1805 and Tommy Bahama St. Bart's. That is all.

He has his hobbies and I have mine. Period. And we respect that.

He recently was annoyed at my using Arpege Pour Homme and politely (gagging) asked me not to wear it in his presence! I think he does not the top notes and all the alcohol that comes with perfume application, that's all.

In all fairness, he tolerates anything from Poison, Jasmin and Cigarette, Parfum d'Habit to the ever-present versions of Habit Rouge.
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post #16 of 27
9/7/10 at 7:14pm
He does not wear any but loves to smell them on me. For one who (he says) does not know squat about perfume, he has a very keen nose and can almost always name the notes he detects.
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post #17 of 27
9/7/10 at 8:46pm
My husband enjoys smelling good and was happy to have a small (1-3 bottles) collection before. His collection is now a little larger and he likes sampling new scents, but he's not into it in the way that I am.

He did ask once, "Should I get into fragrances with you?" I appreciated the sentiment, but I knew his heart wasn't quite in it. (Plus, we would end up competing for use of the monthly fragrance budget. That way lies madness!)

He often compliments me on my scents, though. Once, the two of us were at a bar and a young woman wearing a LOT of a youthful fruity floral walked by. She smelled nice, though a bit too strong, and I asked if he noticed the pervasive perfume in the air. His reply was "Yes, and I knew it wasn't you. You always smell sophisticated."
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post #18 of 27
9/7/10 at 8:57pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by NebraskaLovesScent View Post

He often compliments me on my scents, though. Once, the two of us were at a bar and a young woman wearing a LOT of a youthful fruity floral walked by. She smelled nice, though a bit too strong, and I asked if he noticed the pervasive perfume in the air. His reply was "Yes, and I knew it wasn't you. You always smell sophisticated."

He sounds like a real special fellow! We really must get together sometime.

My husband got me interested in perfume, actually. It took a number of years, though. When we first got together he was puzzled by my lack of perfume. It was around the time I only wore Rive Gauche. Soon after, they reformulated it. It was years before I found Basenotes & the obsession began. He is learning about scent from me now. He likes to wear a limited number, otherwise he gets confused. Don't try to push too many on him before he's ready. I spray his wrist occasionally & sometimes he finds one he likes. Try Etro-Shaal Nur. It's great for Fall. It's a spicy change from the green/sweet violet Eternity.
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post #19 of 27
9/7/10 at 9:44pm
Hub doesn't share my obsession but appreciates it. Quite soon after we had met he said that he loved that I wore perfume (it's not so common in Finland as in many other countries which also explains why Finland is a Third World Country when it comes to perfume...)

Thanks to me and my obsession he also found two scents for himself: Ëgoïste (because I wore it) and M7 (when he asked me to pick some scent candidates to choose from).

He always comments when he likes something I wear, and usually also agrees to sniff my arm when I ask his opinion about something I'm testing.
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post #20 of 27
9/8/10 at 1:26am
He would if he could but he can't! My dear husband is
anosmic and although he supports my hobby, he can't
give me any feedback on the scents I wear. I do feel
quite sad about this but realise that he could have many
worse things wrong with him!
He uses aftershave himself, so I get to pick the ones he wears.
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post #21 of 27
9/8/10 at 1:59am
Thread Starter 
Mimi Gardenia; "He does go gaga over Carnal Flower" You lucky thing, you!

Primrose; "politely ( gagging ) asked me not to wear it in his presence" Lol! The same thing happened to me with Magie Noire!

NebrakaLovesScent; "we would end up competing for use of the monthly fragrance budget. That way lies madness!" Very good point, hadn't thought of that!

lt's reassuring to know there are others out there in the same boat, but l must admit to feeling quite envious of those of you whose partners do join in & even appreciate notes, what a dream! l wish mine would wear something like Farenheit, what a sexy scent! Mind you, the best compliment he ever gave me was "You always smell unique", not sure he meant it as a compliment, but l was tickled pink all the same! Nothing will stop me wearing what l love, l'm just a bit sad that my beloved Magie Noire is confined to nights in by myself, boo hoo!
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post #22 of 27
9/9/10 at 9:08am
My DH initially got me re-turned on to fume, not knowing that once I discovered BN, it'd be all over. He really likes Tabac Blond on me and inquires about others here and there. As for himself, he's always had a modest collection of designer colognes. He's mainly a Cool Water man, which is great because he makes it smell sooo good! A couple years ago we picked out YSL L'Homme together and he wears that one for special occasions.
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post #23 of 27
9/9/10 at 9:38am
No, Mr. Husband has no interest... he's never worn cologne, and won't allow me to spritz anything on him! When I ask him to sniff my wrists when I'm sampling, no matter what it is -- vetiver, floral, masculine, feminine -- he says it "smells like perfume." Sometimes he comments that I smell good, but I'm not sure whether that means "you smell good to me" or just "I can smell your perfume from here." But the good news is that he is tolerant and generous, and is mildly amused by the whole thing (which was rather sudden onset this past year), and has yet to say anything along the lines of "don't you already have enough?" :-)
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post #24 of 27
9/9/10 at 12:09pm
I'm lucky,my wife likes perfumes too.
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post #25 of 27
9/10/10 at 5:18pm
My boyfriend likes perfumes, because I love them. When he saw that I am into perfumes, he was interested and now he asks me every day what perfume should he ware (I have a lot of mens and unisex fragrances) and I love to chose a fragrance for him! I think he knows that and just want to make me happy.
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post #26 of 27
9/10/10 at 6:03pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by C Rose View Post

No, Mr. Husband has no interest... he's never worn cologne, and won't allow me to spritz anything on him! When I ask him to sniff my wrists when I'm sampling, no matter what it is -- vetiver, floral, masculine, feminine -- he says it "smells like perfume." Sometimes he comments that I smell good, but I'm not sure whether that means "you smell good to me" or just "I can smell your perfume from here." But the good news is that he is tolerant and generous, and is mildly amused by the whole thing (which was rather sudden onset this past year), and has yet to say anything along the lines of "don't you already have enough?" :-)

I would say my situation is identical to C Rose (except my husband has worn cologne a few times). As a matter of fact when I read her comment I had to look at the avatar, because it sounded exactly like what I would have written. There are times I wish he were a little more interested, but maybe over time he'll realize how happy it makes me and become a little more involved.
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post #27 of 27
9/11/10 at 7:01am
Yeah he does just not all the time. I'm talking such as 'in your face' all the time. Sometimes I agree it can be a little too much, but I only wear it when I'm going out, instead of wasting all of my money...
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