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Funniest review ever / Katie Puckrik and Secretions Magnifiques! - Page 3

post #121 of 173
10/6/10 at 4:50pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kerosene View Post

Not that I like promoting myself, but I just happened to review...not really, but moreso experience SM. It's everything I was hoping it wouldnt be. Absolutely disgusting. I was expecting more sour notes, but all I got was sharp, piercing, gut wretching vibes. I even tried to smell it wafting in the air....no luck. The longer I sat there, the stronger the crap became. I was left speechless. I didnt want to just say how bad it smelled, but really there was nothing I could say. It's awful. It's an odor, not perfume. With that said, I love Katie.


Thanks for a very good review. Rip roaring laughter from me - it was excellent. Taco Bell and then SM - Oooooo!
Love the puke pail ! And that poor cat ! *LOL* Good stuff ! I'm smiling very broadly !

Plus ....Kerosene- you're a hottie yourself !
Re . the sample ...I also thought- 3 dollars down the drain .... I sent mine to... Suga ( he doesn't know it yet but he does now ! ) - have fun Suga ! *LOL*
Great review Kerosene !
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post #122 of 173
10/6/10 at 9:17pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kerosene View Post

Not that I like promoting myself, but I just happened to review...not really, but moreso experience SM. It's everything I was hoping it wouldnt be. Absolutely disgusting. I was expecting more sour notes, but all I got was sharp, piercing, gut wretching vibes. I even tried to smell it wafting in the air....no luck. The longer I sat there, the stronger the crap became. I was left speechless. I didnt want to just say how bad it smelled, but really there was nothing I could say. It's awful. It's an odor, not perfume. With that said, I love Katie.



Bro......that was priceless because I can tell it's a genuine review. Thanks for posting it. I especially loved the line ....." with notes like milk, blood, semen......no good....can come from this......."
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post #123 of 173
10/8/10 at 4:49am
Those are very nice things of you two to say. How can you review something that you cant put your nose on? I gave it my best! haha


Kudos to Katie for taking that first deep sniff. If I did, I would have probably spilled some cookies. I used to work in a garbage landfill years ago, and no smell from there compared to this.
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post #124 of 173
10/8/10 at 10:15am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kerosene View Post

Those are very nice things of you two to say. How can you review something that you cant put your nose on? I gave it my best! haha


Kudos to Katie for taking that first deep sniff. If I did, I would have probably spilled some cookies. I used to work in a garbage landfill years ago, and no smell from there compared to this.

One question remains unanswered: W.H.Y? It is felt to be awfull, but how did the perfumer achieve this spectacular effect? How long does it really last? Does this effect project? Does it linger in the room? The effect seems to be abstract in that it is not connected to a certain smell of known origin. So, what the heck is it?

On other European boards (Basenotes resides in UK, doesn't it?) Secretions Magnifiques has been discussed too. When it first came out the reviews found a lot of positive aspects.

Has SM been reformulated, may be due to IFRA regulations?!

- stress by overexposed expectations in whatever direction
- stress by not knowing what to say about it
- stress by peer pressure
- stress by not knowing what it is
OR more specific
- stress because it renders something that resides below all day awareness

Disgust is by the most part something that has been learned from social standarts. To know how the effect which seems to be specific to SM works is worthwhile. Did the perfumer hit some Western standarts that may differ from China, or did he hit the common grounds of human olfaction?

If You were a more scientificly oriented person, You would take Your time to find out. The world wide broadcasted reception of SM on this board shows more or less a consume oriented, traditionalist attitude. Nothing bad with that at all. But that disqualifies to -review- an odor like this one. I admit, it is not at all made to attract whealthy women or to prove that You have showered at least last week.

ps - a question appropiate more for the engineer than the scientist: How much spritzes to make people really ralph? Double blind tested, of course, with random distributed placebos over the sample of subjects.

pps: as a semi-scientific antithesis I would suspect that the bespoke effect is nothing but the suggestion of the former reviews. Try to prove this statement wrong!
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post #125 of 173
10/8/10 at 11:36am
Quote:
Originally Posted by WildThingy View Post

One question remains unanswered: W.H.Y? It is felt to be awfull, but how did the perfumer achieve this spectacular effect? How long does it really last? Does this effect project? Does it linger in the room? The effect seems to be abstract in that it is not connected to a certain smell of known origin. So, what the heck is it?

On other European boards (Basenotes resides in UK, doesn't it?) Secretions Magnifiques has been discussed too. When it first came out the reviews found a lot of positive aspects.

Has SM been reformulated, may be due to IFRA regulations?!

- stress by overexposed expectations in whatever direction
- stress by not knowing what to say about it
- stress by peer pressure
- stress by not knowing what it is
OR more specific
- stress because it renders something that resides below all day awareness

Disgust is by the most part something that has been learned from social standarts. To know how the effect which seems to be specific to SM works is worthwhile. Did the perfumer hit some Western standarts that may differ from China, or did he hit the common grounds of human olfaction?

If You were a more scientificly oriented person, You would take Your time to find out. The world wide broadcasted reception of SM on this board shows more or less a consume oriented, traditionalist attitude. Nothing bad with that at all. But that disqualifies to -review- an odor like this one. I admit, it is not at all made to attract whealthy women or to prove that You have showered at least last week.

ps - a question appropiate more for the engineer than the scientist: How much spritzes to make people really ralph? Double blind tested, of course, with random distributed placebos over the sample of subjects.

pps: as a semi-scientific antithesis I would suspect that the bespoke effect is nothing but the suggestion of the former reviews. Try to prove this statement wrong!


Honestly, it's hard to take this "perfume" seriously, so that's how I tackled it in my review. It's not art, it's marketing genious. Look at how much exposure ELDO has gotten simply from selling little $3 samples of this crap. It smells like the metallic tinge of death. It's synthetic and it's horrible. I let it linger on myself the rest of the night. It never got any better. The scent doesnt imitate bodily secretions during a wild sexy romp. ...I would know what that would smell like....hehehe This scent is meant to shock and disgust, just like the raw chicken, rotting and fermenting at the bottom of a garbage pail. There's nothing different from that and SM. It's an odor.

Scientific enough?
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post #126 of 173
10/8/10 at 1:14pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kerosene View Post

Honestly, it's hard to take this "perfume" seriously, ...
Scientific enough?

It is not scientific to just say: "I don't like it!" May it be the plain truth either.

To be worthwhile such a verdict should comprise something beyond subjectivity. My expectation regarding a -review- is that. Express more than personal disgust. What does it come from, for instance. How does it develop, whow does it project to others.

My GF this evening again prefered SM over Shalimar on me. Same with a office buddy lately, who didn't like Monsieur De Balmain because he associates the citrus to urinal cakes.

I'm close to the conclusion that, the farther one is away from basenotes the more a good odor can be enjoyed. The verrry tradional attempt to perfumery shows itself for example in the over presence of rancid Creed concoctions. All that "I smell THAT good as a 120$$ bargain purchase"-nonsense. The idea which Virgin Island Water transports contardicts Secretions Magnifiques appeal. I get so aroused by my Original Milissime Vintage Windsor Tabac Royal Water 1747 ...

But when something might reveal olfactory news, anybody shows himself crazy sick.

Next >
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post #127 of 173
10/8/10 at 1:59pm
But the enjoyment or rejection of a fragrance is not scientific. It's not simply a matter of accurate or inaccurate perception. It's subjective and associative primarily.
This stuff does not smell good to me. I have bad associations to those notes.
Next.

-Slim
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post #128 of 173
10/8/10 at 2:02pm
It's the review of a scent for heaven's sake... it can never be objective, especially what the reviewer associates with the scent but as we all know, even factors like sillage, longevity, etc differ from person to person. What do you expect? Two hour presentations of chemical analysises and clinical studies read with a neutral voice and a straight face?
You don't like personal Youtube-reviews, you don't watch them - it's that easy! Just let go because you start to come off like a troll.
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post #129 of 173
10/8/10 at 2:08pm
This thread went to shit many many posts back , its a fun review not a cure for cancer , people need to relax - seriously
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post #130 of 173
10/8/10 at 3:11pm
I want to buy a bottle...














... and annoy people with it. Imagine spraying it in a club out of a little atomizer. Not on yourself, but on a wall or something.
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post #131 of 173
10/8/10 at 4:13pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by suppressor View Post

i want to buy a bottle...

... And annoy people with it. Imagine spraying it in a club out of a little atomizer. Not on yourself, but on a wall or something.

evil!!!
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post #132 of 173
10/8/10 at 4:27pm
I think it could have its use in the field of professional insurance fraud. Or to get that additional 10%-discounts when you buy a used car/house/carpet.
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post #133 of 173
10/8/10 at 5:16pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nasenmann View Post

It's the review of a scent for heaven's sake... it can never be objective, especially what the reviewer associates with the scent but as we all know, even factors like sillage, longevity, etc differ from person to person. What do you expect? Two hour presentations of chemical analysises and clinical studies read with a neutral voice and a straight face?
You don't like personal Youtube-reviews, you don't watch them - it's that easy! Just let go because you start to come off like a troll.

We need a can of this!




Quote:
Originally Posted by Pour_Monsieur View Post

This thread went to shit many many posts back , its a fun review not a cure for cancer , people need to relax - seriously

I agree.
Like I said before, I thought this could be an amusing thread we could have some fun with. But no......some people cannot deal with a lighthearted topic.
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post #134 of 173
10/8/10 at 5:27pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by WildThingy View Post

I
My GF this evening again prefered SM over Shalimar on me. Same with a office buddy lately, who didn't like Monsieur De Balmain because he associates the citrus to urinal cakes.

Good for you. Wear it you like it.
Until you do your own review that is it up to your standards....go pound sand!

Crap! I didn't take my own advise.

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post #135 of 173
10/8/10 at 5:51pm
Kerosene, I loved your review! Very real. And your son's input (and your reaction) had me in stitches! "Get outta here!"
And I loved the outro! Damn you crack me up!

SM is so polarizing. Its rank, but much like yourself, more than anything I got that sharp metallic accord... that, and ammonia which they use to clean floors in hospitals.
Not worth wearing seriously though. Ever.
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post #136 of 173
10/8/10 at 7:10pm
It's odd that animals' secretions (castoreum, civet, ambergris) seem to be so much more enjoyable than our own.
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post #137 of 173
10/8/10 at 8:20pm
I found all of the reactions and reviews funny as all get out. It's like sniffing this, I'd belong to some ultra-exclusive group of naked base jumpers that have jumped from the Eiffel Tower and got away from the police.

Yeah.

I'll remain a wimp and bypass this one.
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post #138 of 173
10/8/10 at 8:59pm
One can hardly believe Luca Turin gives this 5 stars!
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post #139 of 173
10/8/10 at 9:20pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by blondex199667 View Post

One can hardly believe Luca Turin gives this 5 stars!

Personally, I don't take any stock in what LT thinks. Who cares what he thinks about scents in general.
Chandler Burr on the other hand...
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post #140 of 173
10/8/10 at 11:08pm
I won't mention any names , but being scientific about whether you like a scent or not........or having predispositions about a scent because you read reviews on it already.....is a crock of shyt.

Trust your nose. That's it. Plain and simple. No science background is needed for any reason whatsoever.

I have read reviews on a few frags that the reviewers did not like, but when I sampled it, I liked it. I trusted my own nose like they did theirs. There's no predisposed influence at work here my friend.

If you wish to smell like a facsimile of cum and milky, metallic blood.....you go right ahead and wear my share too. You say it's awesome. I say it's vile and smells like the inside of a chipmunks ass. ( don't ask...)

We're both right since we trusted our noses......but please don't ever tell me I need to have a more scientific approach to fragrance. I could care less about the molecular structure of the things I wear. Why on earth would I need to know that " if I combine 2 parts of xxyz* and 3 parts cxyzy#, the end result will afford me the slightest, wispy hint of unwashed asscrack?

Give me.....and the rest of us fun loving fragrance wearers a freakin break. Maybe you need to be on the lecture circuit.
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post #141 of 173
10/8/10 at 11:18pm
Ah... too right, dude and fellow blogger (reminds me I need to catch up. Been busy. Sigh.)

I still want to get a sample of that SM stuff and see for myself. I am pretty sure I'll find it vile but... my compost heap has probably smelled worse. (I wouldn't swab the essence-de-compost on my wrists though, trust me there.)

From all that I've read and watched, SM is a "novelty" scent that dries down to a "meh" floral... but the "thrill" of smelling what starts out like "the inside of a chipmunks ass" as you so colorfully put it, aromierotici, is oh so tempting.

(or not. And I WON'T ask.)

And then, there's Cumming, the fragrance...

Hmm.
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post #142 of 173
10/9/10 at 7:27am
Quote:
Originally Posted by actiasluna View Post

Ah... too right, dude and fellow blogger (reminds me I need to catch up. Been busy. Sigh.)

I still want to get a sample of that SM stuff and see for myself. I am pretty sure I'll find it vile but... my compost heap has probably smelled worse. (I wouldn't swab the essence-de-compost on my wrists though, trust me there.)

From all that I've read and watched, SM is a "novelty" scent that dries down to a "meh" floral... but the "thrill" of smelling what starts out like "the inside of a chipmunks ass" as you so colorfully put it, aromierotici, is oh so tempting.

(or not. And I WON'T ask.)

And then, there's Cumming, the fragrance...

Hmm.

Having worked at a landfill that also had compost dumped in a field to cook and rot.....ugh, that smell is not pretty at all! But even that I could handle. SM is worse! lol
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post #143 of 173
10/9/10 at 9:21am
It seems to me that, at this point, another Secretions review would be rather redundant. It's basically just a way for Youtube reviewers to work on their comedy schtick. For three bucks, maybe sample one of the many 1 ml decants available at scentmonkey that I have very little knowledge of.
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post #144 of 173
10/9/10 at 10:41am
I couldn't resist trying SM today when I had it in front of me in a store... And yes, I find it to be truly unpleasant and don't feel the need to expand upon or qualify "unpleasant"...

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post #145 of 173
10/9/10 at 11:15am
Quote:
Originally Posted by tott View Post

I couldn't resist trying SM today when I had it in front of me in a store... And yes, I find it to be truly unpleasant and don't feel the need to expand upon or qualify "unpleasant"...


Try Gucci Homme instead
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post #146 of 173
10/9/10 at 11:26am
Quote:
Originally Posted by BradW View Post

It seems to me that, at this point, another Secretions review would be rather redundant. It's basically just a way for Youtube reviewers to work on their comedy schtick. For three bucks, maybe sample one of the many 1 ml decants available at scentmonkey that I have very little knowledge of.

The more reviews on a fragrance, whatever it may be, the better. You never know if someone will pull something new out that another person might not catch. Also, always good to get as many takes on a scent and from there, you can get more of a rounded sense of what something is like. There's currently 91 reviews on Basenotes for CK One. Some may see that as redundant, others, helpful, and others even may see it as entertaining. Just a quick opinion.
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post #147 of 173
10/9/10 at 11:26am
Quote:
Originally Posted by WildThingy View Post

Try Gucci Homme instead

Thanks for the recommendation, but you can keep it for yourself.
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post #148 of 173
10/9/10 at 11:50am
I could give a hoot what a reviewer looks like, that isn't what is going to impact me. What I like about Katie is that she isn't dry/stiff, she doesn't take herself too seriously and she can review (and relate) without being elitist or condescending. I also don't need a scientific breakdown or explanation as to why certain scents repulse her. I can also understand why she may not go into sillage or longevity for a scent she clearly can't tolerate and will wash off.

The video review piqued my interest and I have some on the way to see if it really IS that bad. I think I'll even see if I can record my reaction but as I have never reviewed scents before, mine will not be going on youtube.

I had heard that men didn't find it as repulsive as women but after watching Kerosene's review I'm not so sure that is true.

I'll let you know when it arrives...
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post #149 of 173
10/9/10 at 1:48pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kerosene View Post

The more reviews on a fragrance, whatever it may be, the better. You never know if someone will pull something new out that another person might not catch. Also, always good to get as many takes on a scent and from there, you can get more of a rounded sense of what something is like. There's currently 91 reviews on Basenotes for CK One. Some may see that as redundant, others, helpful, and others even may see it as entertaining. Just a quick opinion.

I certainly agree that this is the case with most frags. Of course, I can't see how anyone would even consider a blind buy, let alone sampling, this one. The only redeeming part is knowing that people are going to expect a funny review. How about funny reviews of other colognes? Maybe Encre Noir could be called Smokey the Bear's wet dream, or something like that?
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post #150 of 173
10/9/10 at 2:21pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by BradW View Post

Smokey the Bear's wet dream


That movie totally rocked
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post #151 of 173
10/9/10 at 2:26pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by BradW View Post

I certainly agree that this is the case with most frags. Of course, I can't see how anyone would even consider a blind buy, let alone sampling, this one. The only redeeming part is knowing that people are going to expect a funny review. How about funny reviews of other colognes? Maybe Encre Noir could be called Smokey the Bear's wet dream, or something like that?

Personally, I wasnt even trying to be funny. lol I think I was just being myself and experiencing the fragrance, like I do any other.
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post #152 of 173
10/9/10 at 3:24pm
Just re-reading Luca Turin's 5-friggin-star review of Secretions Magnifiques. And this guy gives Bois du Portugal 3 stars? I bet he also thought that crucifix in urine peice a few years back was high art.
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post #153 of 173
10/9/10 at 3:37pm
Erm maybe you should educate yourself about " Piss Christ "

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Piss_Christ

" Serrano has not ascribed overtly political content to Piss Christ and related artworks, on the contrary stressing their ambiguity. He has also said that while this work is not intended to denounce religion, it alludes to a perceived commercializing or cheapening of Christian icons in contemporary culture "

This thread has become so random and meaningless its hilarious !!!!!
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post #154 of 173
10/9/10 at 3:42pm
Quote:
The photograph was one of a series of photographs that Serrano had made that involved classical statuettes submerged in various fluids—milk, blood, and urine.

Sounds not that different from SM actually.
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post #155 of 173
10/9/10 at 3:47pm
Pour Monsieur wrote:

"This thread has become so random and meaningless its hilarious !!!!!"


I don't think comparing Secretions Magnifique to a different piece of shock art is random and meaningless. My belief is that SM has garnered all this attention because it is so shocking. Same with Serrano's piece, if it were merely a photo of a crucifix, would it have gotten this much attention?

Though I appreciate your recommendation for me to "educate myself," I'm familiar with the piece; I called it crucifix in urine to avoid using "Piss Christ" on Basenotes.
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post #156 of 173
10/9/10 at 3:51pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by MikeNY View Post

Just re-reading Luca Turin's 5-friggin-star review of Secretions Magnifiques. And this guy gives Bois du Portugal 3 stars? I bet he also thought that "crucifix in urine" piece a few years back was high art.

This is a perfect example of why I could care less about his opinions.
He gives one of the better Creeds only 3 stars, but gives a gimmick 5!


But then again, thoughts on fragrances are very subjective.
Because of this, maybe I shouldn't be so hard on LT...
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post #157 of 173
9/27/11 at 8:37am
Exactly! Good observation buzzley. I took both of these reviews as entertainment and not information (and not very entertaining at all). Makes me want to buy the scent and wear it around all the young, disrespectful, ill-mannered young people of today with all their light/fresh/clean no character synthetic scents and their underwear hangin' out with their ball cap on sideways or backwards....sort of an olfactory middle finger.
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post #158 of 173
9/27/11 at 9:14am
Must have missed this. Very entertaining.
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post #159 of 173
9/27/11 at 9:24am
Nice review, but she sounds like a Berlitz failure at French.
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post #160 of 173
9/27/11 at 12:56pm
Enjoyed all the reviews on some level. Kerosene's was the funniest though. Interesting that the child didn't find it gross.

Bit shocked that the sweet looking girl in green was swearing like a sailor.
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post #161 of 173
9/27/11 at 3:19pm
Katie is rather stiff. That put me off. Also, "pee and poo" aren't secretions, they're excretions. Then again, blood is neither...
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post #162 of 173
9/27/11 at 4:12pm
Katie is hot!
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post #163 of 173
9/27/11 at 4:54pm
Finally got around to trying this stuff. It's actually quite a pleasant, interesting scent. Not at all what I was expecting after seeing these reviews.
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post #164 of 173
9/27/11 at 5:13pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chasing the Dragon View Post

Finally got around to trying this stuff. It's actually quite a pleasant, interesting scent. Not at all what I was expecting after seeing these reviews.

Did you get a new formulation? lol
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post #165 of 173
9/27/11 at 10:27pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chasing the Dragon View Post

Finally got around to trying this stuff. It's actually quite a pleasant, interesting scent. Not at all what I was expecting after seeing these reviews.

It's interesting all right. Just like sticking your nose up to a dog's bum is interesting.
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post #166 of 173
9/27/11 at 10:41pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by silentrich View Post

It's interesting all right. Just like sticking your nose up to a dog's bum is interesting.

Haw haw. Witty.
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post #167 of 173
11/30/11 at 4:45pm
I thought this was hilarious. I always see her looking so prepared, so it was definitely fun to watch this. Always liked her personality.
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post #168 of 173
11/30/11 at 7:36pm
I also tried this one a couple of weeks ago with some of my friends. None of us found it as revolting as the hype machine wanted us to believe it was. One of my friends said that she thought it smelled like old dying flowers, but that in and of itself didn't particularly bother her.

There are a few BN favorites that I find much more offensive than this one. Don't think I'd buy a full bottle of SM , but either way, not all as bad as it's rumored to be IMHO.
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post #169 of 173
12/2/11 at 3:11am
"For the record, there always should have been a dissenting view from me on this one: one star, absolutely revolting, like a drop of J'Adore on an oyster you know you shouldn't eat. Whatever you do, do not allow any to touch your nose when you smell it off a paper. I know Luca is a convincing proselytizer, but trust me. TS"

Tania Sanchez in: The Little Book Of Perfumes, The 100 Classics / Profile Books 2007 / page 70.

Not that it matters, but I find her truly beautiful. Also, of course it helps when a critic knows what she is talking about and never lacks words to express herself clearly and as a lady.
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post #170 of 173
12/2/11 at 6:00am
Yea that was pretty awesome lol.
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post #171 of 173
12/3/11 at 1:55am
Quote:
Originally Posted by narcus View Post

...

Tania Sanchez in: The Little Book Of Perfumes, The 100 Classics / Profile Books 2007 / page 70.

... never lacks words to express herself clearly and as a lady.

I think that is the essence of writing, isn't it? Inspired by my last look at this board I tried it again. And I have to admit that it seemed to be tremendously strong. One spritz tickled my nose for hours. But light application payed later when SM went into the base, which can be stuffy, as every woody - e/g sandalwood - tends to be.

The picture of a rotten oyster with a drop of an effeminate perfume - it's clearly a matter of taste. Change the thick perfume to a blooming white wine and accept a faint seashore smell of the oyster as natural, here You are!

It all depends on the attitude with which someone get's his nose closer. There are people who think Jicky smells of poop. Once this picture is settled, it's hard to correct it. So, the 'review' here (* Katies) is exactly not that. It is a first glance with tons of prejudice, not at least emphasized by an anxious attitude the US-American 'community' in here piled up.

Remember the 'Old Europe" thing? Secretions Magnifique IS a 5 star perfume - refine something harsh with a pleaser: Mitsouko, refine a pleaser with something harsh: SM. The US-style expresses itself in fruit salad oriented offensively generic and/or derivative concoctions of CREED heritage (?!) the like. So, You wish to smell attractive? Avoid SM, Your mindset doesn't fit.

I think a masterpiece - which occasionally may seem to be a trick of the tail - is such independently from peoples likings
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post #172 of 173
12/3/11 at 8:54am
...
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post #173 of 173
12/26/12 at 8:31am
I myself have tried this fragrance, hoping to find that somehow they had managed to bottle that "just rolled off your lover" scent. I was supremely disappointed. This fragrance to me is the quintessential "Emperor With New Clothes". I'm sure some genuinely love it, but I suspect a great deal of those that say they love it are only saying that to seem sophisticated and elitist. Even after two showers, scrubbing in the sink, trying to layer something more appealing over it, twice, the single drop I applied to my forearm took almost 24 hours to dissipate. This has horrific staying power, like the bog of eternal stench, and I feel deeply sorry for this reviewer because of how much she applied.

Oh, and it smelled like cat piss on me, with iris. I'm jealous of anyone who has tried this and actually got the "semen" note. Lucky you.
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