MDM's Riotous, feverish dream, revealed:
Well, you know, Dr. Perfumisto, I don't typically float about the drawing room, and you, why, you're not typically here either, are you? I'm ever so glad you've come, though. I can't imagine what I would have done without you. If nothing else I'm sure that pedistal suits you! Are you comfortable? May I offer you more cushions? Something for your hookah? Well, Dr. Perfumisto, I must say, if that is an axios sensor I'm afraid I've never seen one quite like it--why ever would a sensor have a tube attached to it in such a way? Who ever heard of smoking incense? It smells divine. Who am I? Why, Dr. I thought you knew. I'm not sure who I am to be quite honest. I do know this is my house, though I'm afraid I haven't the faintest clue who I am: I thought I was a man, but look here, who ever heard of a man sauntering about in a taupe bias cut crepe de chine gown? And this aquamarine silk velvet peignoir, these marabou feathers on the collar, and look! look at my hair! All cropped and crimped. Oh, and these chartreuse peau de soie pumps: Isn't the louis heel fetching? Get a load of my ankles, Dr, don't they look alluring? Oh, Dr. Perfumisto, stop it now-I told you: I don't know who I am, but I can assure you I also don't know any of the other people in here, either. You see how they observe, motionless and silent, most especially I'm sure I don't know that ruffian hiding behind the draperies over
there, see? Yes-that one. My sister, or...or my wife.......Yes, Dr. Perfumisto, of course, I couldn't have a wife, now, could I? I suppose she must be my sister then, whoever she is I do know her, but....Oh, she's upstairs asleep...in our bedroom. Sisters can share bedrooms, can't they Dr.? Well, yes, I know there are, but she prefers it that way. What does it matter, Dr.? We're here, now--these others....they were like pictures....on the wall....and suddenly they all began talking, sometimes all at once. I know it doesn't make any sense Dr., but it's true: Does it make any sense at all that I should be floating about this room, and look like this, when I tell you I'm a man! Oh, Please Dr. Perfumisto, I implore you, I don't know: All I know is when the portraits on the wall began to speak, each and every one, they started to descend! To descend I tell you! Can't you see all these empty frames on the wall? Yes! First they started chattering, and then they all floated down. No, not exactly as I'm floating now, It seemed more as if, having been eternally alone, I was suddenly hosting a tea, or a salon, you know, the way they do in Paris, with all of these guests! Well, Dr. Perfumisto, if nothing else, I knew who I was then. I knew well enough to have to throw one of them out; she was in that frame, over there. She seemed charming at first but then, as the afternoon progressed, she seemed somehow.....possessed by an evil spirit of some sort, very queer indeed, so I asked her to leave. No, of course I would never make such a request in front of others, I had a word with her in my office, there, on the other side of the hall......but, once she had gone, I did bolt the door. No, Dr. I don't think any of them noticed. She was an odd one, very quiet. Yes, of course Dr, but, you know, the Devil comes in many strange disguises; one never knows. There was an experiment. Well, we'd planned it. Oh, Dr! the picture people and I: We were all going to crack open a new 30ml bottle of Jicky Perfume and test it out! On New Year's Day! Well, I suppose you could be right, Dr, maybe that is why they all came down out of the pictures, I suspect that it wouldn't have been very much fun to do on my own--But Then, Oh, Dr! Then....the most terrible thing happened! Well, it all started when we peeled off the celophane: You know the new ones have celophane on them, and an outer box. Oh, it was horrible, Dr! Must I go on? ........ Very well. I'll give it my best. After all, you've been so very kind, and, I'm so grateful for all you've done. Well, you see, it went this way: We opened the box, and.....and.....Oh, Dr!.......I will, just give me a minute, will you? Inside the outer carton, where we had all fully expected to find the green celuose flocked inner ecrin style box with the gold gilt arabesque on, there was....there was instead....Oh! Dr! I'm going mad! I'm going mad I tell you! I can't go on...I can't! Alright. I'll pull myself together, you'll see. After all, the worst is yet to come, I shan't fall to pieces just yet. Rather than the green box we'd expected, we found a hideously common looking white one...and....it.....it.....didn't even have a hinge! I'm telling you Dr, I lost my senses: I was mad with rage. I threw it across the room! No, Dr, that isn't the worst of it. It was him! I mean that hooligan, cowering behind the draperies, I suppose in some kind of effort to calm me down, or for what reason I don't know, he showed me.....he......he. He showed me pornography, Dr.
I Tell you Dr, Pornography! Yes! Nothing has been quite right ever since, everything has gone queer, I just don't know what to do! I don't! Yes! There is something I'm not telling you. I just can't begin to say it. Alright. I'll tell you. At some point, I don't remember when, I don't know where I was, or how I did it.....I......I opened the flacon! Yes! You see it there? See how the ficelage is broken? No, Dr, he didn't steal it--you see him there passed out on cooking sherry--he's harmless: he was just playing with it and whistling at one point. I opened it, Dr, Yes! I did! I opened it!.........and...........and I........Oh, Good Lord above, I put some on and it.........it smells like lemon pledge....in a....in a bathroom! and in twenty minutes it's GONE! YES! it's GONE in twenty minutes! Oh, Dr! Help me! For the sake of humanity, do something! I don't know if I can go on: I don't know if I can LIVE!!!!!! I DON'T KNOW IF I CAN LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLIIIIIIIIVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVE!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!