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New Haarlem -- Most Overrated Fragrance - Page 2

post #61 of 143
It does make fiction more interesting.
post #62 of 143
Thread Starter 
Truth, verily, is stranger than fiction.

Oft-mentioned tome.

It's bright and early, and I'm dabbed in Aventus , smelling like an emperor, and ready to conquer the world.

Will send out this review to every site on the internet, post this on every youtube channel, and create a Bond No 9 hate site.
post #63 of 143
post #64 of 143
Quote:
Originally Posted by themoogle View Post

Is Tobacco Vanille considered gourmand ?

Love that, and just got it a week ago.

It projects class on my 6"5, 220 lb, 9% bodyfat frame.

Well, what more need be said?

While this is one of the stranger threads I've read recently, it's also one of the most enjoyable.
post #65 of 143
Get Rochas Man, its cheaper and smells like Lemons, and CHOCOLATE syrup!
post #66 of 143
Quote:
Originally Posted by themoogle View Post

I'm not trolling, that's my actual opinion.

Wit and dry humor does not equate to troll.

You'll have to show us this dry humor and wit sometime. Anyways, I'll agree that it smells much more like maple syrup than coffee, but in regards to why not go by a bottle of maple syrup...well this isn't food. You could use that argument on any fragrance that's emulating a scent then...rive gauche why not buy shaving creme, tobacco vanille why not dip a cigar in vanilla extract, philosykos why not buy a fig tree, MKK why not go smell your balls.
post #67 of 143
Quote:
Originally Posted by themoogle View Post

My English teacher advised us to try to put as much detail into writing as concisely as possible, hence the description.

This where troll blew his cover totally
post #68 of 143
Sample before buying expensive frags! Only advice I ever give to anyone looking to blind buy. Aside from that, New Haarlem just doesn't do it for me.
post #69 of 143
I'll bite... New Haarlem is awesome.
post #70 of 143
Quote:
Originally Posted by themoogle View Post

It projects class on my 6"5, 220 lb, 9% bodyfat frame.

9% body fat? Sounds like you do need to lay off the maple syrup fatty.
post #71 of 143
Quote:
Originally Posted by themoogle View Post

removed.

Not sure exactly where you were going with that, but it sounds dangerously close to a very racist direction. I'm fine with strong negative opinions, but racism and hate speech are another matter. Surprised no one else noticed this.

I like your handle (loved FFIII), but you give moogles a bad name.
post #72 of 143
You weren't the only one hobbes!

I was just cautious about drawing further attention to it! I figured one of the moderators would pick it up!

No room for undertones like that here!
post #73 of 143
Yes, he should get banned for his "attempt" at wit and humor.
post #74 of 143
Quote:
Originally Posted by themoogle View Post

My English teacher advised us to try to put as much detail into writing as concisely as possible, hence the description.

Apparently, your English teacher didn't tell you that following "thus" with "ergo" is nonsensical and redundant.

He or she also failed to impress upon you the definition of "tome," which is a very large book. "Truth is stranger than fiction" is a mere sentence.
post #75 of 143
Quote:
Originally Posted by acjigga View Post

Yes, he should get banned for his "attempt" at wit and humor.

Agreed, Jigga.

Speaking of which....What happened to good ol' "Reckoner"?
post #76 of 143
imo this is a great fragrance that belongs in everyone's collection. I do agree with you that here on BN it does get a lot of hype
post #77 of 143
Quote:
Originally Posted by hobbes22 View Post

Not sure exactly where you were going with that, but it sounds dangerously close to a very racist direction. I'm fine with strong negative opinions, but racism and hate speech are another matter. Surprised no one else noticed this.


And there you have it.
post #78 of 143
Quote:
Originally Posted by themoogle View Post

I am just stunned.
and I imagined something like TV.

Man, life is hard. Politicians lie, scent aficionados lie. I feel terribly sorry for you. Everybody against you.
post #79 of 143
Quote:
Originally Posted by themoogle View Post

removed quote.

I missed this comment when I scanned this thread and said it was enjoyable. Thanks to others for pointing it out.

Just pathetic.
post #80 of 143
I agree with every word of this review. I bought a decant today and this fragrance is nothing special. I cannot understand the hype going on. I am very happy that I did not make a blind buy for a full bottle with such ridiculous price.

Quote:
Originally Posted by themoogle View Post

I am just stunned.

Stunned at just how overrated and bad this fragrance is, and perplexed at the frag heads and reviews it's received here and among the afore mentioned frag aficionados.

I got New Haarlem in the mail today and extremely disappointed. It just smells cheap and terrible- exactly like a $5 meal of IHOP pancakes loaded with maple syrup, or creme brulee, or custard. It does not smell like class, like Tobacco Vanille, which I own.

NH is showered with positive reviews and it's gourmand quality, and I imagined something like TV. What I got out of it was terrible, terrible, terrible. I do not want to smell like maple syrup. I can just buy a bottle of maple syrup and smell like NH.

I simply cannot FATHOM how anyone can appreciate this "fragrance." My Trader Joe's Oatmeal and Honey soap, costing all of $1.69, is heavenly compared to the syrupy, dirty smell of NH. (I would definitely buy a scent that smelled like the TJ Oatmeal and Honey soap, now that's a gourmand smell I like) It is like there's some huge joke going on.

I LOVE TV, I own L'Air Du Desert Marocain, and love the fresh Creed scents ( Aventus , SMW, MI). The only reaction you can get from NH is ... 'Did you eat pancakes ?'

Question(s) to NH owners or supporters :

1) Why not just buy a bottle of maple syrup ?

2) Why do you want to smell like pancakes ? The scent is a turn-off, people will think you forgot to wash your hands.

3) What do you use it for ? The smell itself is crap. Doesn't matter how cold it is, it just smells like cheap syrup.

4) Is there some kind of Reality Distortion Field (RDF) I'm unaware of, akin to the Apple RDF ? Do you know what a pancake and syrup tastes like ?

Lessons learned ? Try before you buy. Second lesson - Read the negative reviews carefully and take note of them.

N.B -- Gave the bottle to my cousin, not for sale.
post #81 of 143
I like it to some extent, but it can be very cloying. I do agree though that it smells like maple syrup and not coffee. I'm a big fan of Bond in general, and New Harlem is ok every now & then. But it's not my favorite from the house (I like Coney Island, Chez Bond, Montauk, Fire Island).
post #82 of 143
No offense Moog, but you sound like a frustrated dingbat.
post #83 of 143
Quote:
Originally Posted by acjigga View Post

Yes, he should get banned for his "attempt" at wit and humor.

He wins the dubious "honor" of being the first person to get placed on my ignore list.
post #84 of 143
Quote:
Originally Posted by taint it sweet View Post

I'll bite... New Haarlem is awesome.

NH is hard to beat for sure!!!
Gary
post #85 of 143
Haha come on man its not that bad. Overhyped it is and Rochas man is a great replacement for the price. Sucks though that you bought a whole bottle blind. Now you know to never trust reviews. So many people have no idea what they are talking about and have such different taste.

Also please be very careful with wit and humor and especially sarcasm on this site. Most of the people on here do not understand it at all and will get offended and even get offended for other people. You also have to watch what you dont say apparently. Strong opinions will get the thread closed and get you an infraction. Just stick to one word answers or quote people and put "+1"
post #86 of 143
Quote:
Originally Posted by MassMenace View Post

No offense Moog, but you sound like a frustrated dingbat.

Haha!! Why would you write "no offense" when what you write after that is completely offensive.
post #87 of 143
Quote:
Originally Posted by heperd View Post

........ Just stick to one word answers or quote people and put "+1"


Agreed. +1
post #88 of 143
Thinly veiled racism, fat jokes, and misogyny throughout OP's postings. Nice.
-Slim
post #89 of 143
post #90 of 143
Quote:
Originally Posted by themoogle View Post

Is Tobacco Vanille considered gourmand ?

Love that, and just got it a week ago.

It projects class on my 6"5, 220 lb, 9% bodyfat frame.

Are u serious? New Haarlem is a great coffee scent which for the first hour all I get is a extremely dry coffee scent.
post #91 of 143
Thanks for the entertaining thread. I usually hate gourmands....Rochas Man, AMen, etc. I have never owned a Bond fragrance. But in testing I liked NH alot and think it is one of their best. Didn't get syrup at all. Of course I only have a 6'1, 170 frame. So that could be it.....
post #92 of 143
Quote:
Originally Posted by MrAndySais View Post

OP has zero taste. Go back to Bleu!

Hey you, What's wrong with Bleu

I tested NH and since I dislike all gourmands that has coco, chocolate, coffee and caramel in them - I obviously did not buy this crappy frag
post #93 of 143
by crappy frag, I assume you're referring to Bleu?
post #94 of 143
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jack Hunter View Post

I find Rochas Man to be more to my taste than New Haarlem.

+1 ... I enjoy Rochas Man more as well. To me, New Haarlem = maple syrup.
post #95 of 143
post #96 of 143
Quote:
Originally Posted by jamwires View Post

by crappy frag, I assume you're referring to Bleu?

I like Bleu, I don't like NH
post #97 of 143
Don't ya'll see that the OP doesn't really hate New Harlem? He cleverly devised a scheme to post a hate thread about NH on here in order to unite those who truly love this fragrance to come to it's defense. He's secretly bathing in New Harlem while eating pancakes in a silken robe and listening to classical music in his manor as we speak..er...type.
post #98 of 143
I love New Haarlem, wonderful fragrance!
post #99 of 143
Quote:
Originally Posted by mesaboogie View Post

Don't ya'll see that the OP doesn't really hate New Harlem? He cleverly devised a scheme to post a hate thread about NH on here in order to unite those who truly love this fragrance to come to it's defense. He's secretly bathing in New Harlem while eating pancakes in a silken robe and listening to classical music in his manor as we speak..er...type.

I think you are right. In fact the OP is most likely the nose behind New Haarlem and was just playing devil's advocate to get some well deserved praise for his creation. So I must say well done, sir. You have created a masterpiece. Yes, you are welcome.
post #100 of 143
Now that you've revealed your true character through your racist, misogynistic, prejudice and downright paranoid (all the positive reviews are Bond employees? Oh, come on!) ramblings, I regret having stuck up for you in the first place.

Say what you want about fragrance whether it's unrestrained gushing or pure vitriolic hate, but when you start attacking the people who wear it or enjoy it, or just whole groups of people in a completely irrelevant fashion, you not only lose all credibility and respect, you say much more about yourself than those you attempt to put down.
post #101 of 143
I'm not a fan of it either.

And as for you, 1/10 for making me respond.
post #102 of 143
Quote:
Originally Posted by themoogle View Post

I blind bought Aventus, TV, and L'Air, all slam dunks and good to go.

You've bought a bunch of high-priced niche perfumes blind. I think you've been lucky that you like so many. Maybe you should sample if you can't tolerate the occasional miss.
post #103 of 143
Quote:
Originally Posted by starshipvelcro View Post

You'll have to show us this dry humor and wit sometime. Anyways, I'll agree that it smells much more like maple syrup than coffee, but in regards to why not go by a bottle of maple syrup...well this isn't food. You could use that argument on any fragrance that's emulating a scent then...rive gauche why not buy shaving creme, tobacco vanille why not dip a cigar in vanilla extract, philosykos why not buy a fig tree, MKK why not go smell your balls.

Awesome! I did't see that coming and laughed my ass off.

This thread has been pretty entertaining - you don't get this sort of thing outside the men's forum.
post #104 of 143
Quote:
Originally Posted by themoogle View Post

jamwires:

I can see women liking it ... of the horizontally expanded kind.

In all seriousness I find this comment clever and I laughed my ass off. High five!
post #105 of 143
I told my gf that I am not free to go to the movies as I have better drama to watch at home
post #106 of 143
Thread Starter 
Fellas, why so sirrus ?

I am seeing a lot of culturally insensitive barbs thrown my way, and serious slander being committed ( accusations of racism, misogyny, and arachnophobia, among other things)

You need to respect other cultures, and be a better, mightier mini-you.

I was at Bloomingdale's and doused myself in so many Creed scents I smell like no man has ever smelled - GIT, SMW, OS, Aventus, SMW, all at once.

My cousin will smell like maple syrup at clubs while I smell like class.
post #107 of 143
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ivory88 View Post

Apparently, your English teacher didn't tell you that following "thus" with "ergo" is nonsensical and redundant.

He or she also failed to impress upon you the definition of "tome," which is a very large book. "Truth is stranger than fiction" is a mere sentence.

Cool story bro.
post #108 of 143
In order to not offend, your humor on here should be more like Jay Leno and less like Dave Chapelle.
Smell some Dior Eau Noire. It smells like pancake syrup and Owens sausage mixed. Very sickly sweet and disgusting.
post #109 of 143
There you go again offending several million more people...........
I think the founder of the site understands "taking the piss" and use of hyperbole,,, others obviously dont. It is surprising how much you were attacked.

Also i think NH is ok but i would never buy it. Little too sweet for me and i do get a lot of sweet coffee from the start.
post #110 of 143
post #111 of 143
Quote:
Originally Posted by themoogle View Post

Is Tobacco Vanille considered gourmand ?

Love that, and just got it a week ago.

It projects class on my 6"5, 220 lb, 9% bodyfat frame.

I know the OP is getting a lot of hate for his statements, but I think we've all overlooked the height to body fat ration factor involved with fragrance development. As the OP has found out, New Haarlem is well known not to develop properly on anyone over the height of 6'4, and this would lead to his misconception of the fragrance.

Just like the way that LDDM is notorious around these boards on the opposite extreme for having very strange and borderline offensive development on anyone shorter than 4'2 with a body weight exceeding 87 pounds. I can't tell you how many threads have been started by those who are not taller that this benchmark, and think they've been sold a bill of goods, when they've purchased it, when almost everyone who is 4'3 and above just absolutely love the stuff.

themoogle just was unaware of the pure science behind it, thus his expectations were too high, having not known that these binding rules of chemistry were at play. Don't be too harsh on him.

And let this serve as a warning to anyone who thinks that they can just blind buy a fragrance without having a measuring tape and scale at hand.
post #112 of 143
do not follow these links if you are easily offended

Bond No. 9 New Haarlem (2003) fragrance review
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B-zL2y63XtY

Blazing Saddles- Work Song
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L7QF32mxftE


do not follow these links if you are easily offended
post #113 of 143
I don't get the coffee either.. more of a maple syrup. It's not a bad fragrance imo. It's the hype, this frag has been put up on the pedestal so to speak, and it just doesn't deliver.

Way too hyped. This is why I go with my own judgment, and never blind buy based on the new fads. For example Allure Homme Sport.. another just average fragrance.
post #114 of 143
Quote:
Originally Posted by themoogle View Post

removed quote

I'm fine with negative reviews, sharp opinion, and conflict. Intolerance can be tricky to pull off, however. It takes a certain kind of lovable scamp - I'm not sure moogle is up to it.

Heperd, are you really going to defend a guy who said the above quoted statement? If not for the racism, at least consider the monumental lack of wit.

You got guts Heperd, I'll give you that.
post #115 of 143
Quote:
Originally Posted by Partario View Post

I know the OP is getting a lot of hate for his statements, but I think we've all overlooked the height to body fat ration factor involved with fragrance development. As the OP has found out, New Haarlem is well known not to develop properly on anyone over the height of 6'4, and this would lead to his misconception of the fragrance.

Just like the way that LDDM is notorious around these boards on the opposite extreme for having very strange and borderline offensive development on anyone shorter than 4'2 with a body weight exceeding 87 pounds. I can't tell you how many threads have been started by those who are not taller that this benchmark, and think they've been sold a bill of goods, when they've purchased it, when almost everyone who is 4'3 and above just absolutely love the stuff.

themoogle just was unaware of the pure science behind it, thus his expectations were too high, having not known that these binding rules of chemistry were at play. Don't be too harsh on him.

And let this serve as a warning to anyone who thinks that they can just blind buy a fragrance without having a measuring tape and scale at hand.

Haha this was amazing. That's the kind of humor I can appreciate.
post #116 of 143
Quote:
Originally Posted by heperd View Post

Smell some Dior Eau Noire. It smells like pancake syrup and Owens sausage mixed. Very sickly sweet and disgusting.

Dude - you wound me! It's not that bad. Perfect example of why you should sample, though, no?
post #117 of 143
Quote:
Originally Posted by rubegon View Post

Dude - you wound me! It's not that bad. Perfect example of why you should sample, though, no?

Haha sorry! The truth comes out!
It is that bad. Sometimes I get the vial out and smell it.... and every time I am transported back to Sunday breakfast- eggs, Jimmy Dean sausage, french toast w syrup, Cowboys pre-game......
post #118 of 143
Quote:
Originally Posted by hobbes22 View Post

I'm fine with negative reviews, sharp opinion, and conflict. Intolerance can be tricky to pull off, however. It takes a certain kind of lovable scamp - I'm not sure moogle is up to it.

Heperd, are you really going to defend a guy who said the above quoted statement? If not for the racism, at least consider the monumental lack of wit.

You got guts Heperd, I'll give you that.

I have no guts and Im not really trying to defend him. i dont think he needs or wants to be defended, I just think its actually funny how much he is being attacked and his joking and exaggerating are being taken completely serious. Interesting threads are rare here so i commented on one.
I am simply not offended by that type or any type of humor. He just doesnt get the tone of this site yet and im giving a little advice from experience. Almost no joking or sarcasm is tolerated here so dont even bother. Like i was told by a mod a long time ago "Cool it or your time here will be a short one."

Also i think NH is ok but i would never buy it. Little too sweet for me and i do get a lot of sweet coffee from the start.
post #119 of 143
Quote:
Originally Posted by heperd View Post

I am simply not offended by that type or any type of humor. He just doesnt get the tone of this site yet and im giving a little advice from experience. Almost no joking or sarcasm is tolerated here so dont even bother. Like i was told by a mod a long time ago "Cool it or your time here will be a short one."

OP was asking for it, fishing for compliments by mentioning his athletic figure. Anyone boasting in a manner that desperate for approval will always have ridicule heaped upon him here. I, for one, am thankful there are so many on BN willing to take on that task so I don't have to bother. <Irony intended>
post #120 of 143
^^ Youre right. Now i hate him too.
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