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Became a laughing stock

post #1 of 72
4/10/12 at 6:36pm
Thread Starter 
I got into this fragrance "game" about a year ago and have been aggressively collecting cologne that I think smells pleasing. I have about 25 different bottles of cologne. Note: before 4/8/2012 no one knew how many colognes I have yet alone viewed my collection, but this all changed yesterday when I had some friends over.

One of my friends opened my closet while I was in the bathroom taking a shit and to his amazing and suprise, saw my beautiful collection of cologne nicely displaced on a book shelf that I put in my closet for my cologne. He was so amazed that he told my other friends who were also in the house. My parents and siblings heard the excitement and also came to see what was going on.

The bathroom door is thin and so I can hear all kinds of shit going on. As I became excited about all the commotion outside, I quickly put down the magazine I was reading and finished up and flushed. I walk into my room and see everyone; friends, family all taking a bottle of cologne in their hands looking at it, inspecting it in curiosity.

I became speechless. I felt "caught". They asked me why I had so much cologne. I said I like smelling good.. but they didn't quite understand why a guy would have so many bottles of cologne. My friends laugh, my parents in disgust, my siblings laugh/tease, and I'm just like "FMLLLLLLLLLLLLLL".
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post #2 of 72
4/10/12 at 6:47pm
You don't have to change a thing - you are doing this for yourself. From now on, everybody know that you are a perfume expert. They are just baffled, because they know nothing. You don't owe them any explanations !!

If you had an art collection - that would not be a subject of teasing ... Or books, DVDs, other collectibles. They just don't understand that perfumes are pieces of art also.

Now, when the birthdays roll around, you could gift them some fragrance especially picked out for them, or take them shopping, become a Leader and EDUCATE THEM. One day, they may be thankful.
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post #3 of 72
4/10/12 at 6:49pm
It's hard for others who don't have the same affinity to fragrances to understand the fascination and pleasure they give one. The important thing is that they are special to you.
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post #4 of 72
4/10/12 at 6:55pm
the generation older than mine ( and perhaps ours) had a Bay Rhum or Old Spice bottle and called it a day. We are the beneficiaries of a whole new way of thinking, and there's no shame in that.
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post #5 of 72
4/10/12 at 6:58pm
IMO the people who ought to be embarrassed are the ones who open other people's closets to see what is inside! Really, who does that?!

You have every right to enjoy your hobby. Think of all the things people collect--- why is it okay to collect stamps -- or knives, or antique weapons, or anything else-- but not perfumes? Tell them to look on Basenotes and they'll soon see how modest (relatively speaking) the size of your collection is.
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post #6 of 72
4/10/12 at 7:05pm
Show them all the women you pull with your fragrances and teach them a leason!
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post #7 of 72
4/10/12 at 7:11pm
Wow, the language in here! Sorry..I guess I am American, lol..

Anyway, ya, I mean I don't get wine but I know people really into that..I don't drink, so, lol, could be why. But the wine people I know turned their nose and looked at me strange when I mentioned I was into fumes. Oh well! lol.
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post #8 of 72
4/10/12 at 7:13pm
Ah, new member SmellingGoodAtACost, welcome to Basenotes.
Your very first post here includes details of what you were doing in the bathroom?? Thanks for sharing.

Your friends and family will come around to accept you have a hobby different from theirs- or they won't. As long as you are spending your own money on your hobby, carry on to your heart's content!! Good luck and sniff in good health.
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post #9 of 72
4/10/12 at 7:24pm
Tell them to f--- off. Get new friends of the normal, cool, sane variety. Ditch the narrow-minded a-holes now. Life is too short.
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post #10 of 72
4/10/12 at 7:27pm
ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!

pretty sure you just made that up.
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post #11 of 72
4/10/12 at 7:28pm
  • Ete
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I'm also scared that this might happen to me, which is also why no one knows the extent of my fragrance addiction.
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post #12 of 72
4/10/12 at 7:33pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ete View Post

I'm also scared that this might happen to me, which is also why no one knows the extent of my fragrance addiction.

I have a bunch of excuses ready to go if this ever happens......
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post #13 of 72
4/10/12 at 7:34pm
Laughed they did...
Mocked they did...
Teased they did...



Begged for their lives they did.
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post #14 of 72
4/10/12 at 7:41pm
No need to be ashamed. If it makes you happy, go for it. It's not like it's hurting anyone. They just don't understand.
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post #15 of 72
4/10/12 at 7:43pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by NewHaarlem View Post

Laughed they did...
Mocked they did...
Teased they did...



Begged for their lives they did.

Thats how we roll in the Big Apple
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post #16 of 72
4/10/12 at 8:17pm
Why would they laugh? I dont understand. It's only funny if they opened up a closet full of barbie dolls.
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post #17 of 72
4/10/12 at 8:20pm
I think collecting NASCAR plates is strange. I don't ridicule however. To each their own.
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post #18 of 72
4/10/12 at 8:21pm
Most people don't get it, they don't understand and won't care to. You've got all the support you need right here buddy!
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post #19 of 72
4/10/12 at 8:24pm
If you were cultivating some kind of drugs at your closet that would be a reason for them to be ashamed. When I tell my friends I got 10+ fragrances bottles they usually think it's pretty cool, especially my female friends who usually get curious to know what are the fragrances I have and seems to really like my will to smell good.
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post #20 of 72
4/10/12 at 9:57pm
A few people know about how many fragrances I have in my collection. Usually the first time somebody hears that I have almost a hundred different fragrances they look at me all crazy like and want to know why anybody would need that many fragrances. Most of these are women that have collections of shoes, purses or some other fashion accessory. Once they get a little more information from me they will usually get a little curious, I've had a couple ask me what I was wearing on a certain occasion so they can get it for their boyfriends...that one is always a let down. Don't let other people's ignorance interfere with something you enjoy.
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post #21 of 72
4/10/12 at 10:39pm
Did it occur to you that you are anyways perceived as a laughing stock and the emergence of your skeleton from the closet was a mere display of how people perceive you?

If I were to wear a pink thong to the beach tomorrow, my friends would look at me in awe and start ordering pink thongs too.

Its the way you carry yourself.
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post #22 of 72
4/10/12 at 10:44pm
OP: the sad truth is that perfume collecting isn't accepted as an "interest" the way collecting music, books, etc., is, and smelling interesting things isn't really seen as a legitimate pursuit.

I have a good friend, a really intelligent guy, who found out about my interest and said, incredulously, "but you wear perfume just to attract people, certainly." He completely didn't get it, but when I explained that I wear perfume for me, that it can be a pastime like listening to music (and actually serves many of the same purposes), he became more interested, and at least doesn't look at me like I'm crazy anymore.

It's not exactly our duty to educate the ignorant, but when given the opportunity I do like to clear up misconceptions. If you get a chance to do that with your friends, cool. If not, laugh along with them and feel free to critique their fragrance choices because you smell better than they do.
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post #23 of 72
4/11/12 at 1:22am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kagey View Post

Generalize much? How many countries have you lived in?

OP: the sad truth is that perfume collecting isn't accepted as an "interest" the way collecting music, books, etc., is, and smelling interesting things isn't really seen as a legitimate pursuit.

I have a good friend, a really intelligent guy, who found out about my interest and said, incredulously, "but you wear perfume just to attract people, certainly." He completely didn't get it, but when I explained that I wear perfume for me, that it can be a pastime like listening to music (and actually serves many of the same purposes), he became more interested, and at least doesn't look at me like I'm crazy anymore.

It's not exactly our duty to educate the ignorant, but when given the opportunity I do like to clear up misconceptions. If you get a chance to do that with your friends, cool. If not, laugh along with them and feel free to critique their fragrance choices because you smell better than they do.

Well said. I do try to educate the ignorant as much as possible but some people just can't be reached. Sad really, because everyone deserves smelling good.
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post #24 of 72
4/11/12 at 1:33am
You're hanging around some unenlightened people. It doesn't matter what they think. The only thing that matters is how it makes you feel. If you feel embarrassed about it then it's likely others will react that way.

And don't let people shit in your bathroom.
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post #25 of 72
4/11/12 at 1:59am
lol..... Could have been a lot worse if they had looked beyond your fragrances and saw your playboy collection. I think you dodged a bullet.
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post #26 of 72
4/11/12 at 2:03am
Quote:
Originally Posted by tonghpafu View Post

No need to be ashamed. If it makes you happy, go for it. It's not like it's hurting anyone. They just don't understand.

Quote:
Originally Posted by 30 Roses View Post

IMO the people who ought to be embarrassed are the ones who open other people's closets to see what is inside! Really, who does that?!

Quote:
Originally Posted by hednic View Post

It's hard for others who don't have the same affinity to fragrances to understand the fascination and pleasure they give one. The important thing is that they are special to you.

these ^^^^^^^^^^^^

&

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post #27 of 72
4/11/12 at 2:27am
Quote:
Originally Posted by NewHaarlem View Post

Laughed they did...
Mocked they did...
Teased they did...



Begged for their lives they did.

First they ignore you
Then laugh at you, and hate you
Then they fight you
Then you win
/RW/
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post #28 of 72
4/11/12 at 2:28am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jack Hunter View Post

lol..... Could have been a lot worse if they had looked beyond your fragrances and saw your playboy collection. I think you dodged a bullet.

I think in his social circle finding a stack of playboys is normal compared too finding a closet of perfumes.
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post #29 of 72
4/11/12 at 3:56am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jack Hunter View Post

lol..... Could have been a lot worse if they had looked beyond your fragrances and saw your playboy collection. I think you dodged a bullet.

It would have been even worse if they found his Playgirl collection.

(j/k)
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post #30 of 72
4/11/12 at 4:06am
Quote:
Originally Posted by heperd View Post

ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!

Pretty sure you just made that up.

gmta
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post #31 of 72
4/11/12 at 4:06am
lol my friends thought the same thing altho, they did respect my hobby.. but nowadays they envy my collection and ask if they can have a spray of cologne before we go out, tellem to grow the f up
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post #32 of 72
4/11/12 at 4:53am
I would be a topic for a whole separate thread as to

WHY more likely a man's large fragrance collection may be viewed as odd ...

than a girl's.

*********************
There is a tiny symbol - Blog this Post - does it mean that somebody with more writing experience could pick up this question and blog about it ?
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post #33 of 72
4/11/12 at 5:11am
You should never be ashamed of your collection. No matter how large, or small it is, you have collected these fragrances for your pleasure! This is your hobby, or love, or whatever we want to call it! I would never let anyone make me feel guilty, or embarrassed if they saw I enjoyed having my fragrances! Maybe they are just a wee bit jealous
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post #34 of 72
4/11/12 at 7:25am
Wait till you show them your other collection...of human scalps!
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post #35 of 72
4/11/12 at 7:25am
Explain the hobby, compare it to some hobby they have, I don't see why fragrance collecting should be something you'd be ashamed about, people proudly showcase their mint condition action figures. If art can be pleasing to the eyes and worth collecting, so should scent be worthy of collecting for another sense.

Aaaaaand, if no one still gets it, show them the "post a picture of your scents" thread and 25 bottles will no longer look like a lot.
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post #36 of 72
4/11/12 at 8:50am
You read magazines whilst sitting on the toilet? Lol.
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post #37 of 72
4/11/12 at 9:57am
Congratulations! Now you now how it is to be a Basenoter!
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post #38 of 72
4/11/12 at 10:06am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jack Hunter View Post

lol..... Could have been a lot worse if they had looked beyond your fragrances and saw your playboy collection. I think you dodged a bullet.

I definitely thought that's where the story was going!

Like everyone has said, you're not hurting anyone. And if they complain about money...the old "What, do I owe you money?" has come in handy for me before with other things.
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post #39 of 72
4/11/12 at 10:21am
What if you had shown them the door ... because that "friend" opened the door to your closet and then got the rest of the people and they took out your bottles - and after all that, they make you feel embarrassed about a hobby you have.
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post #40 of 72
4/11/12 at 10:45am
Quote:
Originally Posted by NewHaarlem View Post

Laughed they did...
Mocked they did...
Teased they did...


Begged for their lives they did.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Diamondflame View Post

Wait till you show them your other collection...of human scalps!

Some dark humor in here - I like it

OP, nice first post from a new member. Welcome! I suspect this was all made up, but either way this thread was entertaining.
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post #41 of 72
4/11/12 at 10:49am
Show them what the bottle of Vintage Tabarome on eBay is bringing and maybe they won't laugh so hard.

I don't think anyone needs to be embarrassed about collecting fragrances. I think people's perception of you and how you carry yourself is what is going to determine their reaction to your hobby. You need to feel secure in whatever you do and whatever you are. If you're not, people pick up on that.

For instance, if Dos Equis' "Most Interesting Man" collected fragrances, it would be considered cool and the ultimate in suave and sophistication. But if an everyday guy does it, it's somehow considered weird and a strange, effeminate, wasteful thing to do? Sadly, that's probably the typical reaction a lot of guys would get.

I think I would have told them to get back to their Acqua di Gio world and get out of my closet.
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post #42 of 72
4/11/12 at 11:36am
An Indolic first post and peculiarly apt
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post #43 of 72
4/11/12 at 12:25pm
OP, find one of your remaining friends and ask for a nice long hug. You'll feel much better and I'm sure you'll find a more positive perspective on this episode. Remember, you are what you think!
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post #44 of 72
4/11/12 at 12:39pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rüssel View Post

You read magazines whilst sitting on the toilet? Lol.

For many yanks, that is part of the American bathroom ritual experience. I kid you not.
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post #45 of 72
4/11/12 at 1:55pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by heperd View Post

I have a bunch of excuses ready to go if this ever happens......

Heperd, you have to tell me what they are, I'm really curious
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post #46 of 72
4/11/12 at 2:01pm
One of us! One of us! Gooble-gobble, gooble-gobble!
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post #47 of 72
4/11/12 at 2:01pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by heperd View Post

I have a bunch of excuses ready to go if this ever happens......

Heperd, you have to tell me what they are, I'm really curious
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post #48 of 72
4/11/12 at 2:56pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by PWJ View Post

Heperd, you have to tell me what they are, I'm really curious

All lies really- Bought them in a lot on ebay for $10. Im selling them, ive made "this much" ridiculous amount of money (actually true). Girlfriend bought all of them for me. Girlfriends bought all of them for me. Brag about how much booty ive gotten from them. Holding onto them for my cousin until he gets out of prison/back from Afghanistan.....

I just made all of those up but ill probably use them
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post #49 of 72
4/11/12 at 4:28pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by arthurmoraes View Post

If you were cultivating some kind of drugs at your closet that would be a reason for them to be ashamed. When I tell my friends I got 10+ fragrances bottles they usually think it's pretty cool, especially my female friends who usually get curious to know what are the fragrances I have and seems to really like my will to smell good.

Hah! So true!
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post #50 of 72
4/11/12 at 4:30pm
Maybe your collection will inspire other men to look past Brut or Old Spice. F--- them if they can't take a sniff!
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post #51 of 72
4/11/12 at 8:12pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by heperd View Post

All lies really- Bought them in a lot on ebay for $10. Im selling them, ive made "this much" ridiculous amount of money (actually true). Girlfriend bought all of them for me. Girlfriends bought all of them for me. Brag about how much booty ive gotten from them. Holding onto them for my cousin until he gets out of prison/back from Afghanistan.....

I just made all of those up but ill probably use them

LMAO! I'd say "Oops, someone has forgotten these stuff in here." or "My friend asked me to take care of them during his trip."
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post #52 of 72
4/12/12 at 5:27pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by heperd View Post

All lies really- Bought them in a lot on ebay for $10. Im selling them, ive made "this much" ridiculous amount of money (actually true). Girlfriend bought all of them for me. Girlfriends bought all of them for me. Brag about how much booty ive gotten from them. Holding onto them for my cousin until he gets out of prison/back from Afghanistan.....

I just made all of those up but ill probably use them

Hahaha, ok. I like the second excuse. I'm a frag hustler, you know how I roll baby.
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post #53 of 72
4/12/12 at 11:31pm
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post #54 of 72
4/13/12 at 2:57am
My wife's friend told me her boyfriend wore Le Male and it was the sexist fragrance EVER. I then looked her dead in the eyes and explained to her that Le Male is marketed for gay guys and it's the scents of gay men and that she better find another boyfriend. The look on her face was priceless. I thinked she actually believed me and I never heard the story of why she dumped him, but she won't talk about it and I bet I know why. Since that time none of my wife's friends ever comment about my fragrance collection.
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post #55 of 72
4/13/12 at 11:20am
SmellingGoodATACost- Where did you go?? Hope we didn't scare you off...you are indeed ONE OF US,fragrant fold ....
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post #56 of 72
4/13/12 at 12:59pm
idk what to say, should not have hidden your collection
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post #57 of 72
4/13/12 at 2:30pm
Time to get a new family and friends.
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post #58 of 72
4/13/12 at 3:35pm
The OP dropped a pebble in the pond and walked away. But, the scenario - true or not - touches a nerve with many people, so it really took off.

I worried a bit about this at first, but I've decided to be completely open about it. My wife tells people about it. If anyone asks I tell them how many bottles I have or show them my collection. It's quite a few more than my wardrobe shows due to having different vintages and concentrations of some.

Most people think it's interesting, but not a big deal. Some may think me eccentric for it. So what? I guess I am.
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post #59 of 72
4/14/12 at 6:03am
Quote:
Originally Posted by knit at nite View Post

For many yanks, that is part of the American bathroom ritual experience. I kid you not.

Possibly why they've invented the term restroom.
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post #60 of 72
4/15/12 at 3:58am
I enjoyed the little details of the story. Such as how you felt the need to tell us that you were taking a shit, reading a magazine and then flushed afterwards.

It's these sorts of things that really make a wonderful tale.
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Basenotes › Basenotes Forums › Fragrance Discussion › Just Starting Out › Became a laughing stock