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Bad, bad news for me.

post #1 of 32
5/1/12 at 10:09am
Thread Starter 
Well, I have been experimenting with and acquiring frags for the past 6 months or so, really getting into it. My wife, it turns out, is highly allergic to many, if not most of them! Lately, she starts sniffling and sneezing wildly when I put on a frag, even if I don't see her until the end of the day, after 8+ hours since application!

I am soooo sad! This means I have to not wear frags as much. Can't wear them when we go out together (unless I can find a couple she doesn't react too, which I am working on), and need to wash them off after work if I am going to wear to work. Sometimes this is no prob, as I go to gym or kung fu, then shower. But even when I wash some frags off, she reacts! This happened yesterday with Caron Pour un Homme. Only put a little on my wrists, then washed it off before my wife got home from errands, and she immediately started sneezing!

Dang, what a bummer.
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post #2 of 32
5/1/12 at 10:27am
Quick question: your collecting has beeng going on for six months, but only now she's reacting? Are you absolutely sure she's not having seasonal allergies?

Ok, I know it's unlikely, but had to try. This happened to me, by the way. I suddenly got really sniffly and sneezy a few years ago and thought it had to be something in the house. Changed laundry detergents, soaps, everything, and then eventually found out I had hay fever. First time in my whole life.

Good luck finding the culprit, and hopefully you find some fragrances you can wear!
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post #3 of 32
5/1/12 at 10:27am
This is really tough. I don't see any solution. How long has your wife had allergies ? Is it asthma related ? But, even with check-ups with her doctor and she making an effort to help get those allergies down, this puts a dent in your relationship as a couple.

It is like - by an analogy - you have discovered the most marvelous cuisine and would share your experience - if only you could do so. A pity.
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post #4 of 32
5/1/12 at 10:41am
Strange ... I'm with Kagey here, first one has to check what she reacts to. A visit to a doctor specializing in allergies seem useful, they do test of many substances and can find offending ones.

Sometimes it's better with different mediums, like solids or oil forms. Unfortunately, few perfumes come in this form. You can also wear stuff on clothes, then change clothes when you go home. This won't work when you go out together, but it will work at other times.

cacio
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post #5 of 32
5/1/12 at 10:47am
Sounds more like seasonal allergies, especially if she's only just now starting to sneeze. If it was the actual fragrance itself then other scented things (ie laundry detergent, fabric softener sheets, deodorant, soap, shampoo, etc, etc) would also cause the same symptoms.
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post #6 of 32
5/1/12 at 10:56am
It sounds like seasonal allergies to me too. At least where I've been in California this year, allergies have been worse than normal for those who usually deal with them, and some of my friends who usually don't have problems are discovering the joys of antihistamines/decongestants/sinus flushes for the first time.
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post #7 of 32
5/1/12 at 11:24am
Yes, it doesn't make much sense that she could be allergic to ALL fragrances....especially if it just came on suddenly. The chances of such a thing are slim to none.

You're more considerate than I would be, I think. I think I would just offer her an Allegra and tell her to do the best she can.
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post #8 of 32
5/1/12 at 11:42am
You can do only one thing: find yourself another.....w..eh...hobby?
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post #9 of 32
5/1/12 at 12:19pm
My wife told me to choose, her or my colognes....I am going to miss her.
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post #10 of 32
5/1/12 at 12:23pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by digger51 View Post

My wife told me to choose, her or my colognes....I am going to miss her.

HAHA!!

OP: I hope your situation improves.
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post #11 of 32
5/1/12 at 12:27pm
It was nice knowing you honey!

A year from now: Personal Ads- Wanted: A great mate who is funny, spontaneous and energetic.
Please send photo of your fragrance collection!
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post #12 of 32
5/1/12 at 12:55pm
You guys are killing me.....LOL!!!
I hope the problem is only allergies srmd22!!!
Gary
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post #13 of 32
5/1/12 at 12:56pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by digger51 View Post

My wife told me to choose, her or my colognes....I am going to miss her.

Please tell me that is not a joke
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post #14 of 32
5/1/12 at 1:12pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by digger51 View Post

my wife told me to choose, her or my colognes....i am going to miss her.

lol!!
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post #15 of 32
5/1/12 at 1:35pm
I would try not wearing a fragrance and then ask her, "Does this one trigger your allergies?" If she sneezes, it's not the scents.

Even better, put some water in a bottle, spray it on in front of her, and see what she thinks of it. It's actually quite common that people who are sensitive to cigarette smoke will start coughing at the site of one of those electronic cigarettes (which emit nothing but steam, I believe). There can be a psychological component. For example, she might truly be allergic to one of your scents but now the experience of any scent sets her off by association.

I'm sure this seems kind of evil, but this is a big deal to you. It's important to keep in mind that if it is psychological or it is misplaced blame for seasonal allergies that there is still an association or dislike (and reaction) that seems very real to her. You have to be sensitive to that fact, but you can probably work through it once you know what's really going on.
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post #16 of 32
5/1/12 at 1:38pm
Thread Starter 
Lol, actually she DOES have seasonal allergies, which are much worse right now. But there is no doubt that when I am wearing certain frags-- particularly Montales Ouds, and the other day with the Caron-- she explodes in a frenzy of sneezing when I get near her. To her credit, she never complained, she just started taking pseudofed 2x/day. After a bit, I noticed she would move away whenever I approached her, haha! It was pretty funny. She finally admitted she was afraid she would start sneezing whenever I got near her. When when she comes into the study, where I keep and apply the frags, she starts sneezing and tearing, it really is sad!

I still love her, so I am going to work around it, but I don't think it is just the hay fever thing. I actually sprayed just a little Caron Pour un Homme on the back of my wrist the other morning while she was out, and when I heard the garage opening, I washed both hands/wrists thoroughly with soap and water. A bit remained I guess, but I could barely smell it. Well, the second I entered the room--- or, really about 30 seconds after-- her nose wrinkled up and she asked "what are you wearing today!"

"Nothing," I said. "I washed it all off!"

"Really?" she said, dubiously, and sneezed three times in succession.

Oy.
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post #17 of 32
5/1/12 at 2:04pm
Sounds like the seasonal allergies are much worse right now and the fragrances are just one added allergen that put her over the threshold. When the other allergens go away(pollen, mold) then your frags probably wont bother her so much. Seems like you have gotten away with wearing them for 6 months right?
Also, is she taking any antihistamines-Zyrtec, lorotadine etc? Pseudophed does nothing to block histamines, it just shrinks the inflamed mucous membrane in the sinuses. Getting an rx for a steroid nose spray helped me the most. Before that i never realized that people could actually breath through the nose.
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post #18 of 32
5/1/12 at 2:04pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brian Chambers View Post

I would try not wearing a fragrance and then ask her, "Does this one trigger your allergies?" If she sneezes, it's not the scents.

Even better, put some water in a bottle, spray it on in front of her, and see what she thinks of it. It's actually quite common that people who are sensitive to cigarette smoke will start coughing at the site of one of those electronic cigarettes (which emit nothing but steam, I believe). There can be a psychological component. For example, she might truly be allergic to one of your scents but now the experience of any scent sets her off by association.

I'm sure this seems kind of evil, but this is a big deal to you. It's important to keep in mind that if it is psychological or it is misplaced blame for seasonal allergies that there is still an association or dislike (and reaction) that seems very real to her. You have to be sensitive to that fact, but you can probably work through it once you know what's really going on.

I would like to ask a personal question: When you met her, was SHE wearing perfumes ? Is she into perfumes ? What is her history with any experience with perfumes ? It is really rare that a woman does not have a considerable collection of bottles, and considers HER PERFUMES like jewels, to be chosen and money spent on them.

So then, she is not sad that SHE CANNOT WEAR ANY ? Or, is she completely indifferent to wearing perfumes, hers or yours ???
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post #19 of 32
5/1/12 at 2:30pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by heperd View Post

Also, is she taking any antihistamines-Zyrtec, lorotadine etc? Pseudophed does nothing to block histamines, it just shrinks the inflamed mucous membrane in the sinuses. Getting an rx for a steroid nose spray helped me the most. Before that i never realized that people could actually breath through the nose.

Yes, good point. I meant to say earlier that the allergy relief nose spray that I found (just over the counter, at the pharmacy in my case) helped A LOT more than any of the allergy tablets that I tried--and with no woozy side effects. For me the issue was sneezing and an itch in the back of my mouth/throat that nearly made me crazy. Might be worth a try if the OP's wife hasn't tried it already.
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post #20 of 32
5/1/12 at 4:21pm
Is it just sneezing or is she suffering headaches and other physical discomfort from them, too?

Also, a few more questions of which I'll explain the importance of in a later post:

Did you two recently move?
Did she recently start a new job or spending significant amounts of time in a new building?
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post #21 of 32
5/1/12 at 4:57pm
I have seasonal allergies and my main bothersome month is May (starting now... Yeargh!). At this time I am much more sensitive than usual to smells like cigarette smoke, which really makes me sneeze. If I were you, I wouldn't quit my perfume hobby, but just tone it down or stop spraying until she gets over the main period of allergy, which shouldn't last more than one or two months.
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post #22 of 32
5/1/12 at 5:07pm
Right now I am really having awful seasonal allergies. Hope its the same with your wife. If anything, I am more than sure there are scents that will not cause allergy reactions.
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post #23 of 32
5/1/12 at 6:05pm
This is definitely the season for various air-born allergies like tree pollen, which is a big one for me, and will raise the level on other allergens. Allergies are strange, they come and go. I've found I react to some fragrances at first but the sensitivity dies down after a bit. I wouldn't panic and I wouldn't assume that your fragrance hobby is the problem. If your wife is allergic to perfumes, she will likely be allergic to a lot of stuff and should see a doctor about it. My mother eventually developed bee-sting sensitivity, which can be fatal, so they are not necessarily trivial. An allergist will be able to assess what your wife is actually allergic to and how serious it is. In the meantime, there are plenty of good antihistamines out there.
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post #24 of 32
5/1/12 at 6:27pm
My suggestions were vaguely creepy and now I regret them.

I hope your wife is feeling better soon.
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post #25 of 32
5/1/12 at 6:46pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brian Chambers View Post

My suggestions were vaguely creepy and now I regret them.

I hope your wife is feeling better soon.

Still climbing out of that k-hole man?
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post #26 of 32
5/1/12 at 8:06pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by heperd View Post

Still climbing out of that k-hole man?

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post #27 of 32
5/1/12 at 8:14pm
Try find common ingredients among those she reacts to badly.
My wife reacts badly to my very ambery scents, but not to the low key amber ones (yet).
Good luck.
Renato
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post #28 of 32
5/1/12 at 9:42pm
Try out different lines too. Some brands seem to use chems that I find cause me allergies more than others.
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post #29 of 32
5/1/12 at 10:55pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by laph View Post

Try out different lines too. Some brands seem to use chems that I find cause me allergies more than others.

Maybe try some all natural perfumes too, DSH and Liz Zorn have some good stuff.
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post #30 of 32
5/1/12 at 11:01pm
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post #31 of 32
5/1/12 at 11:43pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by cacio View Post

Strange ... I'm with Kagey here, first one has to check what she reacts to. A visit to a doctor specializing in allergies seem useful, they do test of many substances and can find offending ones.

cacio

Exactly we found out that our daughter was allergic (slightly) to oranges but can have other citric fruits with no problems.

Thankfully this has gone away now.
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post #32 of 32
5/2/12 at 9:01am
Quote:
Originally Posted by cacio View Post

Strange ... I'm with Kagey here, first one has to check what she reacts to. A visit to a doctor specializing in allergies seem useful, they do test of many substances and can find offending ones.

Sometimes it's better with different mediums, like solids or oil forms. Unfortunately, few perfumes come in this form. You can also wear stuff on clothes, then change clothes when you go home. This won't work when you go out together, but it will work at other times.

cacio

When I developed hay fever as a teenager, I was sent to an allergist and he did scratch tests on 50 potential allergens. I reacted to 48 of them. There was obviously no way I was going to be able to avoid all of these things which actually made things easier. I had desensitizing shots for a while but I'm not sure they made much of a difference. Fortunately, only one or two of these allergies were serious so I just learned how to live with them. Mostly this means taking antihistamines at peak periods during the year which has been pretty painless.
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