The first thing to say here is that vanilla is notorious for being difficult to work with, so you are not alone. The second thing I need to say is why are you using both a carrier oil and
alcohol? Work with one or the other but not both or you will get into all manner of difficulty with all sorts of materials.
The fundamental reason for this difficulty is the fact that vanilla pods give up their aroma best in a combination of ethanol and water, meaning that even when you buy an Absolute from a reputable supplier it will often struggle to dissolve successfully in cold ethanol and will be even harder to get into solution in a fixed oil (carrier oil).
Having said that, I don't think what you've got is a true absolute. Hydroglycolic extracts, as Paul says, will never dissolve successfully so best to abandon those completely. Now the oil you have: there is
a true essential oil of vanilla but I've never seen it offered in quantities of less than a Kg and very few suppliers stock it, so it's likely that what you have is something else. Since you describe it as dark I'm even more convinced of that - the true vanilla essential oil is pale in colour (as always btw the essential oil and the absolute don't smell quite the same).
I think what you have is an infusion of vanilla in a fixed oil of some sort and what you are doing when you put it into ethanol and shake it is, in effect tincturing it.
My advice is to stop using either of the products you have and adopt one of these alternative strategies:
Buy vanilla absolute already dissolved in ethanol
Buy vanilla pods and tincture them yourself in ethanol
Buy ready-made vanilla tincture
Buy true vanilla absolute and an automatic stirrer and dissolve it in ethanol yourself.
Notice that the last option includes buying a stirrer because even the true absolute will take a long time and a lot of work to get into solution. This is true of a good few perfumery ingredients but vanilla is probably the single most difficult to handle, at least among naturals. I've talked about stirrers along with other useful equipment on my blog
And saying that has just reminded me that there are also synthetic options including:
The first two come as crystalline powder - so you still have to get them into solution, but they dissolve much more readily than vanilla. The others are harder to handle so if you're not familiar with using synthetics I would start with vanillin, which is the main ingredient that gives natural vanilla it's characteristic smell.