My girlfriend isnęt very supportive either, unfortunately. I try to convince her she should be happy I donęt like sports and buy game tickets etc...
I sincerely think that if I purchase one more fragrance before finishing the 7 that are in my closet at present, my wife may break the new bottle over my head.
Is there a problem if I have more fragrances than she does? She seriously thinks I have issues or something. I told her I ordered some samples (not bottles, just samples) and she just gave me this look like "have you lost your mind?"
Anyone else get this treatment from their wives, girlfriends, mothers, boyfriends (hey, I don't judge) or roommates??
The other problem that I have is that almost without exception, I am tired of a fragrance when the bottle is still half-full. And so, it sits there . . . anyone out there feeling me?
I'm feeling kinda' alone on this. Let's see if there's some love out there . . .
My girlfriend isnęt very supportive either, unfortunately. I try to convince her she should be happy I donęt like sports and buy game tickets etc...
My wife doesn't "get" this either. I think it a male / female difference in collecting habits.
My girlfriend is VERY supportive of my fragrance habit, especially since she now has at least 15 different perfumes that I've given her. It's fun to wear different fragrances and play the "guess what scent I'm wearing" game with one another.
(The latest, by the way, was Rochas Tocade - something she'd wanted for a long time. Fantastic stuff.)
"Right about now, it's about that time."
-Quad City DJs
Uh oh...someone be crusin tonite...tbcOriginally Posted by DubiousinDC
My wife's really cool with it. As long as I don't spend too much, she never gripes. She likes me to smell good, and almost always compliments me. I know I am really blessed to have her. She makes little comments like "Why don't you put all the Creeds on one shelf; the others aren't good enough to be with them" in a joking manner. She does feel better, though, now that I'm trying to reign in my spending. I'm trying to just swap/sell for new scents.
I think you may be on to something!!Originally Posted by Setamp
My girlfriend was supportive at first, and was thrilled to smell new scents on me. However, she's now a little nervous that the collection is up to 11 bottles and I want a few more. She likes Hanae Mori on me for the winter, Thierry Mugler Cologne on me for the summer, and doesn't understand why I would possibly want any others given that those are the two perfect fragrances on me for her. Well, they're not necessarily the two perfect fragrances on me for me. While Hanae Mori will always be in my Top 3, I'm starting to sour a bit on TM Cologne and have my eye on one or two new scents for the summer--which will be purchased without her knowledge in order to keep the peace.
My partner thinks I'm nuts to have so much colognes! He gets a peeved to know I spend so much on scents when he and I know very well, I'm not going to completely finish all these darn bottes! Well, the ones I like most will get finished, that's for sure. But for some they will probably be given to my brother. I try to give him my strays when I can. He appreciates I do this since he doesn't spend a cent on stuff like this like I do. He prefers I just put my money in the bank which I do, Thank God, for Direct Deposit!
Plus it doesn't help that I have so much fragrance stock to make my own stuff for a lifetime!
Well, there goes my story.
If you tire of stuff just swap or give it away. Then there are those that you never tire of and want to keep around just for when you're in that mood.
As for her thinking you're nuts, here's a tip. Take a look at her collection of skin care, makeup, shoes, handbags, clothes, whatever that she seems to have a lot of. Smile and say, "you know how you enjoy having "fill in the blank" (e.g. 40 pairs of shoes), I enjoy having several fragrances in the same way." That should give her some perspective on the situation. But if your wife has no collecting habits, well then you're just plain out of luck! ;D I know a lot of women do this to their husbands (yet they collect tools, computer stuff, sports regalia, etc.) and it works, so give it a try. My motto - what's good for the goose is good for the gander - if one is allowed an indulgence, so is the other. If it comes down to a battle, then agree that each of you will limit your purchases of the one thing you really love to indulge in - out of fairness of course. You shouldn't have to suffer alone. ;D
I get A LOT of flack for everyone. My mom thinks I am raving lunatic. My friends think I slowly losing it, and my girlfriend made a joke last night that "She has to be a cover". I do use it to my advantage, because I buy a new bottle for each date, and girls seem to like that when I explain what I bought, and why.
Basically everyone thinks I have lost my mind. But its my makeup knowledge that really worries people.
Originally Posted by price
All my purchases have gone 'covert'. I have had to setup a seperate bank account so my mom won't stumble onto my account history when checking online banking. People never know what I buy; they only know that its bigger everytime they come over.
At least now you can use working at Sephora as the reason you have to obtain and maintain your knowledge base!Originally Posted by IPaidForThisName
I have yet to hear a complaint or whatever. Secertly they probably think its nuts. I got that when I was buying cloths. Remember Guys We are HUNTERS!
I'd kill a man for a bottle of Ungaro I.
The thing I have found is that when I had 30 or 40 people thought I was bonkers.
Now I have around 300, they think I'm an expert!
No one says anything to me about it......because no one knows. Except I believe the ladies at the Post Office think I'm up to something.
As hobbies go, I consider it pretty harmless. I only discuss it here and on PoL, though, where I don't expect to be judged.
One day after purchasing a new bottle I got the stink-eye from my wife, and realized that I was going to have to approach my fragrance purchases in much the way the U.S. once approached adding new states to the union: one slave state, one free state added simultaneously, so as to achieve a balance. As a result, fragrance purchases for me are always a two-for: one for me, and one for her. As a result, balance is achieved, we both smell great, and relative harmony has been achieved!
If you are getting stick for a relatively modest collection (say 30 bottles or under) just point the person doing the complaining in the direction of Col's wardrobe. They will draw the obvious conclusion that, in comparison to our esteemed moderator, you are a person of extraordinary restraint and austerity. Works for me...
That is poetry!!Originally Posted by CoL
And by the way: My wife thinks I'm gay because of this "hobby"!!
:Originally Posted by steely glint
You know what they say:
Kill one man and youęre a murderer
Kill many and youęre a conqueror
Kill 'em all and your God!
Hmm, not sure how this applies here after all...
my girlfriend doesnt understand it either...but has learned to except it as a part of ME!
You know, I would've thought the same thing too but since this is a forum for men but really for everyone that wants to join. It's funny how assumptions are made by things not considered manly, like smelling good. That's all a bunch of bull in my book. Since mostly men have been the ones to have started the great scent houses! I don't think all the Guerlain's were gay since they had sons to pass the business on like they did before they sold it to the wolves.Originally Posted by Mic
My wife is cool about it. She's cool just about everything I do. ;D ;D ;D
I think the solution to your wife's non understanding, is to make her understand.
You point out to her that men have hobbies.
You cite various people that you know, and how much they roughly expend on hobbies. There are bound to be guys who have spent small fortunes on firearms collections, on photographic equipment, on fishing equipment and their power boats. Even bird watchers cans spend heaps on Kowa spotting scopes or Cannon image stabilised binoculars. And need we even mention golfers?
People used to go on about the tens of thousands of dollars I spent on gadgets for my astronomy hobby. I'd point out that yes they could have a point - so how come they didn't make the same point to people who spent vastly more on buying a boat to go fishing? How come they weren't weird, and I was?
So point out how relatively inexpensive your new hobby is.
And start making noises along the lines of Joe was just thinking of getting a $2000 Leupold rifle scope in addition to his other one's, or Bill was thinking of spending $1500 on Leica binoculars because of their extra contrast above the Nikon ones - and that you were really envious - give her an incentive to start encouraging you to focus on an inexpensive hobby.
And every now and then, buy her some scent that's on sale.
my girlfriend doesn't have too much of a problem with my scent addiction (you might remember my minotaure story i shared a few weeks ago).
in fact she really got into Bvlgari The Verte Extreme and so i got her some and now she wears it all the time
she already thinks i'm gay because i like shopping, am obsessive about cologne, and own The Wizard of Oz on video.
You know guys I am with you really.. I mean when I look at my story I find it quite interesting though I am not quite sure as to how long I could continue with this mind game!!..
When it comes to me I am a real newbie in this hobby, I just started a month ago, I had never worn a scent on me for 36 odd years and I came into this as my wife thought no man is complete without wearing a smile and a nice cologne!!.. From the first bottle I purchased I knew I would be hooked onto this and I also anticipated there would be a negative reaction from the same woman who believed in that quote I just mentioned..
it was important for me to find out what would be the problem, was it the money that I spent or the amount of bottles I owned , quickly found out it was money.. so like even though I have 18 bottles with me in my collection I have only 10 displayed on my dressing table and the rest somewhere hidden in the closet!!..
What do I do??.. first of all its all from sales!! Ridiculously cheap and its all in a buy one get one free sale!! so for her its like I bought 5 bottles in a very cheap sale and 5 free!!..
now what about the ones in the closet??.. well I tried out Harrare for men yesterday ( from the closet offcourse), she freaked out on it!! I said I read somewhere if I layered 2 scents together, D&G Homme (one she doesn‚t like) and POLO green (which are both displayed )!!! it would smell like Harrare for men!.. first it made her feel D&G wasn‚t a bad investment as it smelled so good with POLO, then she says I should have got Harrare, and I am like wait, now it isn‚t wise, let the sale be on again.. makes her feel I am smart and money matters to me as much to her, so one of these days I‚ll take the Harrare out of my closet and tell her Givenchy Gentlemen (in my closet which she hates but I just adore) came as free!!!..
Look I know these are lies, but they are white lies, it doesn‚t harm anybody, I know I can easily afford its all about her mind, so just the way a scent plays in my mind, I would play with her mind and yes occasionally I make her feel you think just the way she does, like the day before I showed her the collection (pictures) of some bassnotes members posted in here and said like „ arnt they CRAZY?? (though I would do anything to have that collection!!)..
I don‚t know guys, not that I feel guilty, but do you think I am doing something terribly wrong??.. I love her extremely much but I like scents too.. I would never ever even dream about compromising the former with the latter, but why cant I have both??.. and in any case she was the one who said I wasn‚t COMPLEATE, so why not be Complete and FULL!!
Big mistake showing her our secret Men's business - you may tell her it's only about a scent hobby and that it's just for you, but she'll be wondering about the intended targets of the scents.Originally Posted by Royal_k
Anyhow, just have your quick fire response ready when she eventually discovers your cache of hidden scents - "Well, would you have rather have found copies of Hustler?"
It makes my wife happy to know that I find enjoyment in the fragrance world. It can be expensive. It's worth it.
Most of the time the ladies that don't understand me are wives of my friends. They always ask me why I need so many fragrances. I always reply by asking why women need so many pair of shoes, and Purses or Bags to match. When I really get going, I ask them why they need so much jewelry. I also ask why they need so much makeup, I would think that a few lipsticks and eye shadows would be enough. Of course I say this tongue and cheek. My wife enjoys all of these things and that makes me happy.
Just tell your wife that you have not even started. Let her know that some of us have well over 100 fragrances. In fact I remember a post on this forum where someone stated that they had over 700 Fragrances.
I'm with you!!!!!!!!
Do not hide unless you are spending money you do not have. If you make the money then you have the right to spend it as you see fit. Women will try to control YOUR paycheck, but you are the one going to the office and taking crap everyday, then indulge yourself. If you want to buy cologne then get it and tell her to cope.....be man!!! She will get over it and respect you in the morning!!!
Originally Posted by G.303
I am going to hit 100 by the end of 2004 (My prediction). I've got almost 40 now and I am just getting started!
THE JOYS OF BEING SINGLE!!! A girl has a problem with my OBSESSIONS she can walk toward the door open it and keep walking ;D
Women STEAL my fragrances though which I dont mind I think its cute. "Oh I like this mmm thanks!" WTF!!!??!??!? Oh well better than alimony right?
I'm with Al on this one. I may obscure a woman's view of my entire collection before we've gone out more than a couple of times, but that's just so she doesn't think I am completely bonkers. As for the 100 mark, I am rapidly approaching that and shouldn't have to wait till the end of the year. :-/
Well, some people thinks I`m going nuts. When they getting closer - they begin to appreciate my collection and habits. They are not buy me something - but they can sit aside and smell all the things... Isn`t it THE support?
Vetiver The Great!!!
This is a subject close to my heart!! My partner has made little comments in the past about my ever growing fragrance collection -nothing nasty just brings the subject up occassionally. She was very good about me buying £250 worth of fragrances on holiday. My point is we all have our little passions mine just happens to be frags and her's is 'little black dresses' of which she has 14!!!!!!!!!!
Each to their own I suppose.
...and just how little are those dresses?Originally Posted by MEDIC
Have a short panoramic view:
ū46 years old
ūObssesed and addicted to the bone
ūAt every counter of every store i go they take for granted that i'm a freak and /or gay (which I don't mind)
ūNobody (family, friends, even my wife) does'nt undertand a bit of my particular perception on men's fragrances
ūAnd my wife does'nt give a *#@% either; she knows she has way too many pair of shoes, make up, and bags
ūUp to date; more than 50 juices, from France to the U.S.A.; from England to Germany, from Italy to Spain, and then to... God knows where
ūA fragrance list that's growing fastly; almost on a weekly basis; on ocassions, on a daily basis
I confess that it's an honor to share my addiction with all of you guys!... I'm not alone.
I've gotta tell you that there are plenty of potential F.A.C. "patients" who are female too! I host the Perfume Addicts forum on Delphi, and I named it that because we do - half seriously, half in jest - see our relationship with fragrance as an obsession if not a true addiction. Or maybe its a collection...yeah, yeah, that's it. Or at least that's what I told my 17 y.o. niece when she looked in my closet, saw a good part of the collection, and said "what's WRONG with you?"
While I don't think my fragrance hobby is a problem, we've had a couple of people on my forum who have left because they didn't feel they could participate without getting carried away buying more than they wanted or could afford. Recently we've had a thread going that talks about strategies for making sure you only buy the fragrances you'll want to keep for the long run.
So you guys might be hunters, but we're gatherers...out there gathering up all the bottles of fragrance we can carry!
p.s. I've attained expert status too
My obsession with scent began before my husbands. We go around together on weekends to stores and I would always stop at the Ladies fragrance counter and than we started stopping at the mens coutner too. So husband now has a decent collection of his own. Some times we go out testing or to see whats new or just to see whats at the Guerlain counter at Neiman Marcus. It's alot of fun for both of us.
my wife is giving me the ole one eye. at first, she thought I was having an affair. But now she is trying to understand that I am trying to take better care of myself.
She's probably happy that I am not acquiring more guns, or hunting equipment. I actually stopped completely and sold many that I did not use. One bottle of x does not compare to a $2,500 custom 1911. Custom made rilfes were my thing for years.
All other vices take me away from her, the kids, and home. Like the boats, motorcycles, hunting trips and whatever else I fall into. So all in all, it is a good thing and says maybe I am calming down a bit. I love art; this is a extension of that. I can't afford many things, but I can have a bottle of L'Artisan and feel luxurious. I am running out of spaces to hide the many bottles though. I hope no one goes through my mail drawers in an antique desk....you know with all the slots..a bottle in every one.
Oh yes indeed! As a single gal I do not need to justify my obsession to anyone but my conscience but a few close friends and my Mom (who only every see a small display on my dresser) think I'm totally insane. I had a very well-paid job so I always told tham that if I had to work over 12 hours a day I might as well enjoy the money the way I please, but now that I'm back to freelancing I already feel the stares and the disbelief (is this a NEW one??? ). And my ex thought I was a bit crazy as well in this respect, but what bugged me most is that he remined immune to my attempts to broaden his horizons. I bought him several bottles and he'd say they're nice and went back to wearing the same old thing every day. Ugh, I'd rather he had 30 bottles hidden away in his closet!Originally Posted by Perfume Addict
'I am not difficult, I am definite!' - Hedy Lamarr
i'm 16 and have 12 full bottles sitting in my cabinet...i dont think its unusual for men to have some sort of collection which they really have a passion and desire for. my mom and dad don't really care because i dont have any other expenses that other kids my age would normally have. there probably will come a point where it'll be necessary to stop purchasing more and just sit back and make use of what i have, but as long as i have the cash to keep going, i'll keep going!
Its a hobby not an obsession
My mom used to complain about me "wasting" money on baseball cards and video games. Now I'm getting married and my fiance hasn't seen my collection since we live in different states. I'm wondering how she'll react. I own about 30 bottles which isn't too much is it?
Oriscent, AgarAura Pure Ouds, Creed, LIDGE, Patou Pour Homme, tons of niche and rare stuff for sale!
New member here, weighing in. In a word, ME TOO, BRO.Originally Posted by DubiousinDC
Wife supports a groomed, fashionable me 100% but can't work with the trial-and-error nature of my searches for the best and the newest and what works for me.
I use samplers whenever possible, but I've made a few blunders and they just sit there, adding to the already increasingly cluttered appearance of my bathroom.
And, yes, she comments. Not nasty (yet) but I hear about it.
I'm about to donate a bunch of it to the St. Vincent de Paul Visitor Center in Oakland, where I volunteer. Homeless folks needing to spruce up & feel good for job interviews etc. can make use of it.
Mmm....my wife already thought I was gay before Basenotes. She does not seem to object to the hobby itself but rather to the amount of time she feels I 'waste' on these boards when I should be working! Perhaps she has a point....
I sometimes tell myself that there are plenty worse things I could be putting up my nose. I have in the past. And don't anymore. It's called "harm reduction" and it's all the rage in the field of substance abuse treatment.
Plus what's more fun than checking out a few new things at the perfume counter? My favorite line to walk away from the salesperson with is, "Thanks a lot. I'll have to see how these do over time." It's the perfect excuse not to buy anything.
And we do need every possible excuse not to buy anything. Right?
I have NEVER seen another male hanging around at the perfume counter trying out this and that, including the womens perfume, just because it all smells so good!!
Why not? what's wrong with society that frowns upon a guy wanting to experience all of these wonderful scents?
My girlfriend doesn't quite 'get' it but she laughs and says she'd rather date a man with a ton of colognes, clothes and grooming products then someone who doesn't bathe, shave, or wear anything but jeans.
Some of my old friends were blunt enough to question my masculinity for wearing any cologne at all, luckily I hang out with a new group. One of my friend's has an uncle who runs a cologne importation/distribution buisness in LA, so he gets everything at the very least half off. He's sort of an enabler, we give him cash, he gives us new treasures lol
woooow.... ! great points of view...!
maybe we should think what is behind of this obssesion...?
[smiley=rolleyes.gif] i have 13 fragances...ill become to worry if someday i see more than 30 on my own! jejeejej
After I'm done buying for the month, week, or day, a holiday or special occasion will appear and then my sig other will add to my collection. "I'm just adding to the sickness," he says with a heavy sigh.
I'm going through bottles of Shalimar now like water just to use them up.
On days when I make excessively self-indulgent purchases, I unwrap the goodies on the train and place them all in my big leather bag so as not to look so obviously "crazed" when I enter the front door.
The worst it ever got was when I was trying to obtain a vintage bottle of Yardley's Oh! De London on ebay, and when the top bid went beyond $375 for less than 1/3 of an ounce, I kept right on bidding. Then, months later, when I finally managed to procure my own bottle, I unwrapped it at home, sprayed it on, and yeah, it was pretty damned great, but it was only a momentary thrill, which I would equate with the first time you wanted to have sex with someone you know you shouldn't have, but did anyway, and wondered what the big deal was when it was all over. That said, ODL reminded me of my youth, my grandmother's flower garden, and the 60's. I usually haul it out of its box in the nice safe cool hiding place I have stashed it in every June, just to remember. June is the official Oh! De London month for me, as it calls to mind mod makeup, frosted lips, graduation parties & huge orchid corsages hanging off the dresses. Now, I paid so much for the ODL I'm afraid to use it. But I am learning to get over that, cuz as we all know, you can't take it with you. LOL ; [smiley=grin.gif] [smiley=grin.gif] [smiley=grin.gif] I'll say one thing, though, had I had even so much as an inkling that a few ounces of Oh! De London would one day sell for well over $400, I would have gone to Montgomery Ward & Sears & literally stockpiled it as an investment!
Guys, I'm with you. *Here's a good way to explain it to the ladies: *
Complex scents are like gadgets to us. *I find myself analyzing my "scent of the day", all day long. *Even though its a frag, I feel that the same parts of my brain fire when I smell a complex scent that fire when I pick up my latest PDA (Palm Pilot) purchase. *I know guys that have toolboxes with 200+ tools in there that they will NEVER use, but take out and inspect from time to time. *Same difference with frags. *Its a collection, like CDs, model cars, etc. *We like complex, cleverly put together things, Period. *
Who's with me?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
There is no Nose....
Originally Posted by OlfaOmega
Couldn't put it any better myself!!!
Man, I should bring my friend here.
He seems to have an addiction to collecting fragrances too.
Once, we all went to his place after a party and after accidently opening up his wardorbe we found about 20 bottles of fragrances.
Naturally all the guys FREAKED and thought he was gay. I'm in a University in England by the way so I think it's just the way guys in this country think.
America or the countries you come from seem to e more tolerant.
LOL! You'd think.Originally Posted by Ibiza Hippie
The same thing happened to me once. Years ago I was having a work party at my old apartment and my gay boss raided my bathroom, and thought the fact the I had eleven bottles of cologne was sufficient proof that I was just some big queen waiting to be "outed"! HA. Ironically, he didn't own a single cologne, Though I caught him spraying himself with Allure Homme
Nowadays I have my current top 10 sitting on my shelf with the other 95 hidden in a big box. I'm still overly protective about people finding the box with 95 in it, but I kind of like them to comment on my top 10. One night I was having a party and a bunch of guys and girls were curious about why I liked fragrances, so I went and got out all my Comme des Garcons and let people pass them around and comment. It was fun!
I still like Paul's story the most about how his friend came over to watch football and stumbled upon his massive drobe. And I think there was some Vetiver in the fridge too! Almost as good as his Hanae Mori/Cap'n Crunch story. I still bust up laughing everytime I even THINK about that one! A class full of young kids making eye patches out of construction paper, because a co-worker told him his Hanae Mori smelled like Cap'n Crunch. A true classic.
"He is a very shallow critic who cannot see an eternal rebel in the heart of a conservative."-- G.K. Chesterton
;D Hahaha! That's good that is!
He read it too and wants to thank you for the sharing the stories but he's too shy to join the community because it could be the final straw in making his friends actually believe he's gay.
Thing is, he has more fragrances and home!
We've just started uni so he's 18 and has started collecting since 12
He wants to know, when did you guys start? He doesn't think it's normal..
I`m with you! Only I get tired of my frags before they are even half-full...Originally Posted by DubiousinDC
I always think that the next scent I`ll buy will be even better.
After joining BN, hubby thinks I`ve gone crazy(-or should I say more crazy!)
Several times every day I torment him with my "smell this one! What do you think, isn`t it gorgeous? Or was the one you smelled 3 hours ago better??? Please, smell again?" DH has no interest in frags at all...
Maybe I should go see a shrink?
Everything passes. Everything changes. Just do what you think you should do.
I feel for you. I get the "you're crazy" line all the time. I get it from everyone though. All my friends know about it and they all rag on me for knowing so much about it or how many bottles I own. I just can't help it. I am an addict.
I kinda like the fact that my girlfriend is nice about it at the same time though. She always comes to me for advice and I've already added 3-4 to her collection in one year. That is more than most people need for a life time of every day use!!! Whatever.... ;D ;D
EnvYuS My Wardrobe
Hi, *I used to post on a couple of other fragrance boards but I got bored with them because they rarely showed opinions or ideas from men, and the people who posted all seemed to like the same fragrances. I chose Basenotes specifically because it seems to have a balance of men and women and it seems to understand that love of scent comes from highly develped olfactory senses, not sexuality or sense of style. *This board seems very open to everybody's individual taste. [smiley=lolk.gif
My husband doesn't understand my love for fragrances and he thinks I spend way too much money on them. (I do). *But they make me so happy. *They really enrich my life! *I keep trying to get him hooked on fragrances, (or at least find a couple of mine to LOVE) but I swear he couldn't smell skunk if he got sprayed in the nose. *
I don't know that love of fragrace is a male/female issue so much as an issue of extreme sensitivity to scent. *Some people just have better noses and find great pleasures through them. *I've had boyfriends and male friends who were mad about scent, and female friends who weren't interested in fragrances at all. *
I have to admit that when I've had guests or relatives stay with me, I've packed up bottles in boxes and hidden them in a closet because I didn't want anyone to know how many fragrances I had or how much money I spent on them. *I was relieved to find "the clinic" here. *I started loving fragrances when I was a little girl...for as long as I can remember. *I don't think there's ever been a time in my life I haven't worn fragrances.
I'm so envious of your wives/girlfriends...
My dream is finding a guy who actually wears perfume!
So far all my boyfriends looked upon fragrances as some feminine stuff they would like to stay away from.
And all the guys around me think I'm silly because I'm so into perfumes and make-up. Most of the time I feel that because of this hobby, they equate me with a Paris Hilton style, empty headed, fashion crazy blond. Which is so not true, I'm not even blond to start out with