Thread: Welcome to the clinic...
Firstly, the rules of all other boards apply to this one.
Secondly, No piss taking. People may use this board because they want assistance with their problems. Please respect this at all times. 'Taking the piss' will NOT be tolerated on this board.
The board is named after Ernie Gallo, a very-much-missed member who used to post often back in the Yahoo days. He often mentioned he had a Fragrance Abuse Clinic, and he used to book people into it if they had gone too far.
This is a trial -- if it works, we'll keep it -- if it doesn't we won't.
I hope this board can work. It's easy to get sucked with the flow on the main discussion board and end up buying more than can be afforded. I'm hoping this board will help antidote that.
I think this new side of the board is a good thing.
As a recovering alcoholic here, I am trying to understand my addictions. I have have been clean and sober for over 1 year and been doing better each and every day. I am proud of myself cause I made myself stop. I have the inner confidence now to know I don't want drink at all. I see others that are abusing and I'm so glad I have gotten it together. It's a terrible place to be when you are feel hopeless and you don't know how to stop when you know you have to. Sometimes it takes the threat of losing it all to do this but for some it's not enough.
The same can go for this overindulgence on scent purchasing. I can acknowledge here that I do have a problem with overindulging in stuff that I don't need.
I have done the same with clothes, the same with music cd buying as well. Even posting on the boards to me has been sort of an addiction for me as well. I'm compelled to come on and post about whatever I feel like posting about. Sometimes I know it's all not so necessary.
But through some of the boards, I have met some very nice people, online and in person. Some very good people. It has renewed my belief that people are just out to get stuff for themselves and don't give an RA about others. This I found out not to be true luckily.
I hope to deal with this problem very soon here as well. I am rethinking my buying habits. I still have an urge to buy something here. This is not good but I hope that maybe I can refrain from doing so, really.
Well, this is my experience.
Definately a place of sanctuary for me also. I,m very worried abot my recent spending...not only toiletries but dvd,s, books and god knows what else
I,m trying very hard to be disciplined about this, but it,s bloody difficult..oh well, at least i,m back to work monday
yeah i have the same problem. I've blown alot of money because I work for tips and sometimes its hard not to buy something when the cash is burning a hole in your pocket.Originally Posted by Exquisite_Darkness
I lost my previous job of four years back in November. It was a good job, but because of the malaise of the air travel industry, I was laid off. I got another job in January, and while I love the people I work for tremendously, It can be very streaky income wise. If I have a good day, I sock the money away, before i get the urge to spend it.
I am in the process of trying to move, and the whole thing is a chore, completely bereft of the fun and excitement that is usually present in a new place. Don't get me wrong, I love the apartment- Its just that the company that owns the building is bungling my approval process. Since it is a partially subsidized building, my income must fall within a certain range and I have to pass a credit check. Its been taking forever. the credit check came out OK. The only obstacle is my income level. I had to bring my check stubs in and fax them across the state to another office etc. They were trying to say that I earn like twice as much as I actually do, therefore I'm ineligible to live there. Christ! I'm a bartender/waiter/singer-songwriter- like I'm friggin rich or something. The rent at the new place is twice the rent of my current place, but its such a nice place and its in the city, five minutes from work. I'm picking up all the extra shifts I can and I've been working like a dog lately, saving up as much money as I can. I should get the green light tomorrow morning(fingers crossed) that I'm approved and can start moving. Its been a nightmare dealing with the institutional paperwork obstacles...
So in anticipation of my move, I've been saving money. No CDs, No scents, nothing! At first it was hard, but now I'm finally used to it. If I can pay off my debts and get ahead in my car payments, making the rent will be completely effortless in six months to a year, I hope. Now, I'm getting better at budgeting my money. I'm making less money than I was at my old job, but I'm spending less too. Its hard not buying CDs(I don't believe in stealing music via the internet), but there's not much out there I want right now anyway. I've been working on my own music lately; Thankfully, songwriting doesn't cost a dime. I played a show Friday night, and despite the lukewarm turnout(about 25 people in a Very small club not bad, but there were alot of no-show's), It was a good show. I've got something very original going on and hopefully soon, the right people will take notice. The club manager and owner seem to enjoy booking me for repeat performances and hopefully, I will get my next show reviewed in a local rag or two. Things are looking good on that front.
As far as scents go, I have a ton of them. I got a little out of hand in buying alot of them in the past, but its just a hobby like any other. My lack of money is actually good for my nose. I've been going back and checking out the scents I bought and forgot. I had some real sleepers that I wouldn't have given another shot If I was going to Saks every other week. I've really been able to appreciate the things I have and just relax a little. There are alot of things I want to try, but I've found that when you buy new scents less frequently, it takes longer to get tired of the ones you have.
Anyway, stopping all the spending can be a tough pill at first, but like anything, it gets easier with the force of inertia.
This is a good thing for sure. I feel that this will help keep me in check. I have to be very careful about what I purchase. I feel that I may have more than I can ever use, and yet I still look for more. I do give some of my fragrnces away, which gives me a good feeling. I still must be very careful because I could go wild purchasing fragrances,gels,balms and soaps. I have been very disciplined in my purchasing and I must continue to be disciplined. This portion of the forum will help greatly.
All I can say is "Thank God for Basenotes, especially the Abuse Clinic."
Good luck to everyone else trying to stay within their means. I know from experience that it can be hard as hell to do.
Top 3: London Gentleman, Blackbeard's Delight, and Sex Panther. (It works 60% of the time, every time.)
I'm very new here (this is my first post). I got here in a very roundabout way.
I just wanted to say that I feel that this is a fabulous idea. my mother is a hoarder (if anyone knows what that is). it's hard to stay away from those tendancies for me. & one thing I've noticed at a number of other forums related to beauty/buying products is that everyone does egg each other on. they call each other 'enablers' & think it's funny.
and maybe it really is funny to some people. but it makes my stomach turn to hear people talk like that. I have very personal, first-hand experiece where that path can lead you. so it's not even remotely funny to me.
so I just wanted to say how incredibly wonderful I think this idea is & that, although I know next to nothing about perfume (though I have been reading here), I think the idea of this area is just so excellent & I look forward to being here. this kind of area makes me think that this is a really supportive, well-balanced site.
Welcome to the list!Originally Posted by Celany
Let me see, I have lost track of all the fragrance I've gotten since checking myself in. And today I ordered another one. I'm saving a lot on the Erolfa, but beginning to wonder if there is any resolution I'm capable of keeping.
I wouldn't suggest I have a problem in buying fragrances, but for the fact that money is in short supply.
Like one of the previous posters I could spend and spend on grooming products.
I sell them for a living and they are also my hobby.
I do get quite excited though at the prospect of John Lewis, Selfridges, or somewhere else that sell fragrances by the score. I can't help myself but go around sniffing this and that, feeling very conspicuous as I do it.
I spend hours searchinf for fragrances on the net and looking at merchandising, reading about the politics of the perfume industry and chemistry.
It may be an obsession, but I am happy in it.
Hi Indi Guy ;DOriginally Posted by Indie_Guy
Living a parallel situation myself. Haven't lost my job but have found myself in more of a crunch than in the past. After inheriting a sum of money years ago, much of which was invested, I found myself in a position for a couple of years of receiving several thousand dollars each month above my meager paycheck. Not entirely a story of rags to riches but just a notch or two above. For a while, it was wonderful to be able to spend freely but never without that twinge of guilt lying just below the surface. Purchases were made without thought as to whether it was something I really needed. Every new fragrance that hit the stores made its way to my collection, only to find out later that all the hype was just that - hype.
Now that my income has returned to my still meager paycheck, much contemplation goes into each purchase and I have to say this is a more acceptable and comfortable way for me to live. I have my moments of relapse, but they are rare and usually during times of stress. I have spent hours on different sites placing items into the basket, only to go back and delete each one, which in some way is a form of therapy for me.
It is a feeling of pride to know I am capable of wanting something desperately but able to walk away from it. And it does force you to revisit the bottles you ordered in mass quantity with some beautiful jewels having been overlooked due to the onslaught of new arrivals.
For me, perfume is truly an addiction, acquiring a taste at the age of 8 and progressing from there. Having a sample of Yosh's Ginger Ciao and browsing through Lucky Scents last night, oh the temptation to send that little bottle to the basket. But, alas, I resisted.
As with all things -- one day at a time. Good luck with your living situation and your song writing. Sounds like you are getting noticed so just perservere with positive thoughts. ;D
What is "piss taking?"Originally Posted by Basenotes
To Indie Guy and everyone here at the clinic, thank you for sharing your stories. That's the way, indeed: discipline. My story is so similar, it's soo easy to overindulge ourselves, for some reason or another (or for some excuse or another), trying to obtain some sort of relief through shopping (fragrances, music CD's, whatever - objects don't talk back, you know). Sometimes, it happened that I disliked the fragrance I had just bought (fortunately, those were 3 or 4 occasions out of, say, a total 150 fragrances - I'm here at the clinic as well, remember), and in an attempt to "compensate " the bad fragrance, I would immediately go and buy a new fragrance that I would test and approve. This is my first visit; I have become aware. Now I know I need discipline, self-control, get myself together. I'll be back here if I succeed.
Jean, from Brazil
My perspective is a little different from those good folks above.
I am, by my very nature, a cheap, thrifty, frugal penny-pincher. Hubby and I have no debt (no mortgage, no car payments, already put our daughter through college). The thing is, I'm late in life to be discovering the thrill of shopping for, sampling, purchasing, and wearing fragrances. This is such a character departure for me, it leaves me conflicted: I enjoy spoiling myself and spending hours online reading about fragrances, but a part of me thinks I should be putting that $45 into our own IRA rather than Jo Malone or Stella McCartney's pension fund.
Even we Puritans find comfort in the EGFA Clinic. [Flogging myself with leather-scented ribbons.]
In a world where 6 million people are added each month, every landscape matters.
I LOVE this! Yes, a sanctuary as well as a meeting of similarly affected fragrance junkies (I thought I was the only one).
I have come to realize spending is often an unconscious attempt to fill my life with whatever it is I feel is missing. And our consumer culture eagerly supports our unconscious spending with many billions of dollars of advertising appealing to our sense of not being whole as we are. It's awfully easy to fall prey, so don't be too hard on yourself.
There have been periods in my life when I had no money. None at all. I had shelter, but little heat and sometimes, very little food (oh, poor me!). I became acutely of my desire to buy. Not having any room in the budget for extras, I necessarily learned to say "no" to myself. I think it's having that little extra in the budget that leads us astray . . .
Whenever I feel I'm spending too much, I remember how well I did when there was nothing (save a gift of LaCroix's "C'Est La Vie" from a family friend) and decide to be happy as I am in this moment.
Caleche this afternoon,
<br><br>What is "piss taking?"<br><br>JAG<br>[/quote]Originally Posted by JAG
Basically, teasing someone or joking about their habit is not to be tolerated because this is a serious issue for someone.
I have many a time talked about my abusive ways towards fragrances. I am very much an addict and this board has let me express that with out other people passing judgement. I hope it never goes away and continues to help whoever is in need of it. I know I am very much in need of it and check myself in here all the time. I'm very glad it was created and thank you for the welcome....
EnvYuS My Wardrobe
I feel shame AND pride . . . set out the other day with the intent of getting some "retail therapy." I did not set a spending limit and that was unwise but the damage was about what I would have allowed myself anyway. Replenished my Guerlain Vetiver as intended but also splurged on Serge Luten Cedre (ah, beautiful!). The awful thing is I DO feel better. And this is what concerns me. I mean, I can't exactly talk myself out of "retail therapy" if it actually does makes me feel better about things. Next time (and there will be a next time, be sure of it), I must remember to limit the spending. Why does "stuff" make me feel better? . . .
It is official: I now think I own more juice than I can apply, without overloading, in my lifetime. It is the worst of times...it is the best of times.
Wow. And here I thought I was the only one... I cannot stop myself from "just looking" on eBay, and 8 out of 10 times, there will be some wonderful deal that I cannot live without... I just bought a bottle of Estee Lauder's Azuree Soliel from the Tom Ford days, and I adore it. Somebody stop me!!
Welcome to the clinic, molly2cats! This is a wonderful site, full of fun and fragrance. The only thing it's likely to stop is your wanting the kinds of things found at good prices on Ebay. I've got waaay too many bottles, and for some time now have been living my fragrance life out of a sample basket. It's fun to swap bottles and samples back and forth, too. I have about twenty bottles that make me really happy, and for a new fragrance to push her way in she has to be very special to me.
Please, spritz responsibly.
Very glad I've found this thread and discovered that I'm not alone in my "fragrance promiscuity".Over the past couple of weeks I've spent a lot of time scrolling through Men's Fragrances on eBay and cross-referencing what I see with Basenotes reviews looking to snap up obscure bargains.Like a lot of people I know,I find the everchanging marketplace of eBay and the thrill of auctioneering very compelling.Combine this with my newfound fascination for fragrances and the result is obsessional and,as with pornography,the anticipation is half the pleasure,distracting from the present.
I heard of a man who used to sit in bars and say "I'll be glad when I've had enough" and I guess that eventually the tide of compulsion will recede leaving me with a nice scent collection and a better-developed olefactory sense.
Searching out,buying,receiving and wearing fragrances can and should be a great pleasure,so I hope the discussions in this thread can help keep it that way...
Last edited by mjclark; 26th May 2007 at 03:32 AM.
Thank you for this thread. I love this. I do not want a huge perfume collection; I'd love to have a signature fragrance, but I can't stop wanting to sniff new scents. So, I have been trying to limit myself to buying decants and samples. I am also going to dabble a bit in mixing oils/making scents, maybe that will help me smell new smells without spending so much on botttles that I end up being ashamed of buying!
Welcome, ruby3, Samples are a great way to save money. My favorite are the sites that include free samples with each order. Hampton Court, Aedes, Lusciuos Cargo and Lucky Scent are some of the best. You can also just buy samples. Have fun. I have decided minis are unreliable. For some reason they are almost always inferior to the full bottles.It isn't logical because they should be used to encourage you to buy a full bottle. I think they are sometimes not even made by the same manufacturer. Crazy, huh?
Last edited by kumquat; 5th June 2007 at 04:45 AM.
Quarry, I'm very much in your situation. I never had a bit of interest in perfume until the last few months. Then -- it hit. I suddenly became fascinated by smelling perfume, wearing it lavishly when I'm alone, which is most of the time, reading about it -- and I'm now past middle age and I wear jeans and flannel shirts and hiking boots 99% of my days. I'm horrified when I see the amount I've spent on perfume recently, almost entirely on e-bay. (I did make an exception for Tabac Blond parfum, paying full price at the only store I know of that still has it in stock.) I know I'm spending "too much", but it's my one wild extravagance.
I'm finding it useful to list every perfume I have. The chart I've made connects me with the reality of my purchases -- and the list has other obvious uses, as I enjoy researching each fragrance. I haven't been listing the prices and the dates bought, but I may add that, just to keep me aware of what I'm spending. I can easilhy tell myself that a certain bottle on e-bay is an incredible bargain and quite rare -- it's never a huge amount. However, when I see the total for those little purchases, and forecast what the same amount of spending would add up to in a year if it kept on at this rate, I can decide it's time to pull back, hard.
My husband carefully avoids the subject, but he mentioned recently that I did seem to have quite a few bottles, and probably I didn't want more. I replied that he had quite a few bottles of wine, but he still wants more.
For now, I feel that perfume is adding more to my life that it's "costing" me. But, if it continues, that wouldn't be true.
This clinic is something that I definitely need. A 12-step program would be more in order for me. However, I can almost always justify the "need" for a new fragrance(s). I agree with the previous poster who said more or less that they've pulled back, and are trying to appreciate those frags. they already have. There is truth in that. I can do that for several months at a time and then I feel the urge to order a large cache of scents, all arriving at one time (thrill/scary). Nothing is more exciting to me than ordering ones I've pined for for months.
I actually sought help with a psychiatrist for my depression, telling him up front about my "collection." It's funny, I asked him "how do I know this isn't just greediness on my part? Why do I do this when I know it puts me in dire financial straits?" He simply said, given what you've been through the past couple of years, you're simply trying fix the problem by doing something that makes you feel better." Duh! But, come on. I know it's excessive. It's like a compulsion. It could be worse, I realize. Something else more destructive. When I read a poetic description of a particular scent, it completely transports me and I have to hunt that scent down. I even have a "contact" in Braun, France who gets me bottles of Apres L'ondee because I can't find it in the states! The harder it is to find it, the more determined I am to get it.
Anyone else relating to this?
Thank you all for your posts. I'm glad to have a place to say that I'm getting away from myself with this perfume acquisition stuff. After spending more money than I can afford in August, I've decided not to buy anything new until at least the new year. Lest this sound heroic, I'm still expecting a bottle of SL Vetiver Oriental in the next few days. I've got plenty to smell and think about, a little box full of samples, some of which I've smelled only once. I really want to be less restless, to sit still and smell and read and think about what I already have. Which really is so much. I just keep feeling that the next thing will be magic.
I remember now why I forced myself away from Basenotes a few months ago... After I joined last November (looking for just ONE signature scent to replace my previous signature scent -- how boring!), I went overboard with testing, gathering samples, and buying blind on eBay -- like someone starving who has been led to an all-you-can-eat buffet. Pure gluttony. And now that I've been revisiting the forum and browsing the directory again, I've gone on another fragrance-feeding-frenzy this month. I AM enjoying it, and I'm discovering some wonderful perfumes, but I have no self-control and plenty of justifications for buying "just one more."
Y'all make everything sound so good! (<----- weak attempt to shift blame)
Last edited by tang; 30th September 2007 at 02:12 AM.
Sniff and let sniff.