Typical SA: Have you tried Kenneth Cole Signature?
Me: No, I heard he was armless and wrote with his feet. I also heard that's sort of what his Signature smelled like, too, and quite frankly, I don't think he was gellin'.
Mugler SA: Do you believe in the extraordinary?
Me: If it improves my chances of getting laid by a hot SA, I'd believe in the Easter Bunny. Speaking of bunnies, didn't I see you in Playboy?
Macy's SA: Do you want to apply for a Macy's card?
Me: Can you still apply if you don't have a green card? Can I use food stamps toward my monthly payments?
Ulta SA: Why do you want to buy that nasty Kouros?
Me: It brings back fond memories of the time I rode the short bus to band camp, and sally, she got sick. Real sick. All over my flute!